Just a random brony writing random things. I am a female brony not pegasister. Please
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Birds.
Through.
I'd rephrase this as, "With no downcast signs around," so it scans less clunkily.
All of their.
"But they never seem to be able to describe her properly."
Toward him.
Chilling.
Titles.
Nothing technically wrong, but it needs to be clearer that it's the details of the dream she can't recall.
Murmur or mutter, you don't need both. "I murmur a word of apology," would do fine.
Interesting so far. Curious to see where this is going.