• Member Since 12th May, 2014
  • offline last seen Jan 25th, 2023

mehperson


Just a random brony writing random things. I am a female brony not pegasister. Please

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The dream seemed like reality. Realistic and all. I need answers.... And I need them NOW!
Based on the creepypasta, Wake Up.
Some of the characters are for future chapters.

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 1 )

I WOKE UP to the sound of the melodious music of the singing bird.

Birds.

I took a stroll in Equestria.

Through.

with no signs of downcast around.

I'd rephrase this as, "With no downcast signs around," so it scans less clunkily.

remember all their of birthdays!

All of their.

But they never seem to able to describe her properly.

"But they never seem to be able to describe her properly."

as he saw me trot towards me.

Toward him.

The thought was chilly.

Chilling.

I scoffed at some of the tittles

Titles.

The same one but I just can't remember.

Nothing technically wrong, but it needs to be clearer that it's the details of the dream she can't recall.

I murmur a mutter of apology.

Murmur or mutter, you don't need both. "I murmur a word of apology," would do fine.

Interesting so far. Curious to see where this is going. :twilightsmile:

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