Introductions

ALIEN

"Who are you, and what did you do?"

"I should be asking you the same thing!"

"By Royal decree, you will tell me who you are!"

"Fine, fine. Jay Resnick. Now, would you tell me what you did?"

"I'm Princess Twilight Sparkle, and you're surely the one behind all this! You tell me what happened!"

"I don't know how it happened, Twilight! One second, I'm walking home, and the next, I'm here with you!"

"You're lying! I know you are! You made the portal bring me here, I know it! I want you to send me back, NOW!!!"

"How could I possibly make any of this happen! What evidence do you have that makes me the cause for all this?"

"Your name is old Equish for 'Maker of Portals!' That's how I know!"

"How does 'Jay Resnick' mean 'Maker of Portals?' Actually, why are we arguing? We should worry about survival."

"Yeah...yeah, I guess you're right. We should work on survival."

"I've got an axe with me, so I'm gonna go cut some trees down. I'll be back in a bit."

"I'll hunt for some fruits and vegetables to eat. If I find water, I'll make a bag and bring it back."

"Alright. We'll meet back here?"

"Yeah, We'll meet here."

The planet I'm on is simply beautiful. Well, I say "planet," but I have no idea whether it's actually a planet or not. There's something orbiting whatever we're on. Something big. I personally think, because of it's size, that we're on a moon.

Regardless of where we're at, I have to gather wood. Princess Twilight knows that, if we're both to survive, we need each other for our skills and abilities. Speaking of, why the hell am I with a...pony? I don't actually know what she is. She's got wings and a horn, so...what is she? She must have magic or something, 'cause her horn was glowing. And she has wings, so she might be able to fly. Maybe she's a...Unisus? Sounds science-y, but "Pegacorn" also works. Bah, whatever. I'm stuck with her, that's the important part. I have strength, hands, and wilderness survival skills, she has magic and flight. We need one-another to live.

...Hot damn, these trees are soft! I could make a blanket out of these! Or maybe a hat? Gloves? Or...No, no, I have to cut the damn things down. I'll make something later. Though, I haven't considered the weight issue. I'll cross the bridge when I come to it. I just need to chop these down.

...

...Jesus, these things are thick. Wish I had known that...earlier. I wouldn't have put so...much force into swinging the...axe.

...

Aaaaaaaand...Timber! First tree down! And it...didn't make a sound...huh...

Regardless, I'm here with a human. Great. I'll have to be with a human if I want to live. I haven't seen one since I went through the mirror, and I haven't wanted to see one, either. This one might be able to make portals too! He might be dangerous! But, then again, he did seem honest when he said he didn't know what had happened. Ugh...I'm gonna keep an eye on him. I don't know what he might pull. I'll still have to trust him, though. Faustia knows I don't have the strength or skills to do the work he's doing.

Oh, bushes! Bushes have fruit sometimes! Now then, let's see...Ah! Blueberries! Actually, these might not be blueberries...these might be poisonous! But they smell like blueberries... But maybe I'll have a reaction to them! But they're all we have right now...

I'm going to have to take the risk if I want to live. I'll eat them with Jay, and we'll see what happens. Now, what else, what else...Ah! These are...carrots? Okra? Maybe peas? I don't know. But it looks edible. Now, if these are growing, there must be a water source nearby. Let's see...what was the spell?

...Ah! There we go! Water is right over...here! Now then, a bag. I could use...this leaf? Yeah, this leaf will work. Now, to collect...hmm...These leaves don't hold much, do they? I know there was a spell to bind plants together...what was it...was it this?

...No, no it wasn't. That was fire. Damn...what was it? This?

...Yes! Yes, that was it! I just have to do that a few times. Ok, leaf number three...four...five...six...

...Why am I doing this one at a time? I could do it after forming a bag shape! Alright, that's what I'll do. Shape a bag, and...bingo! Bag! Now to fill.

Alright, water and food have been gathered. I should head back to the camp. I don't want to keep him waiting.

The Royal and the Peasant, trapped in my domain? That means...that means that the portal worked! Yes! But why here, though? I was aiming for Hell... Well, I can still kill them. But, I think...I'll let them get comfortable, first. No need to kill them early.

Author's Note:

So, I decided to try something different. Human and Pony on different planet/dimension altogether. What do y'all think? Should I continue?

Also, I wanted to try a different dialogue type. I want to see how well it goes over. Through this story, I will never say who is talking. I'll use colors to show who's speaking. If you guys don't like that, I'll do the normal "x says" type of dialogue.

Thanks for reading.

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Comments ( 7 )

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Confusion_

Confusion_ #1 · Sep 1st, 2014 · · ·

I really like the style, but it obviously wouldn't work if more than the two characters are talking, at least not in the usual way since unless the perspective narrator mentions who is always talking when there are 3 or more, things would get confusing. Consider this if there are scenes with more people, if not, you are fine. It seems you are focused on the thoughts of the characters (so no descriptions of the scene unless they would mentally say it) which can work to your advantage since you can leave more to the reader's imagination. A fun thing might be to have Twilight have the educated scholar style of scanning things and Jay... well, we have yet to see Jay's character, but having a personality that contrasts would be nice. Stereotype ways might be the artists who see beauty in all or the people person who sees emotional data like shifts in conversation or subtle changes of the face to see if people are upset or happy. Maybe even just not being as perspective as Twilight might be another. I don't know if you intended this, but the echo of "Something big. I personally think, because of it's size, that we're on a moon" made me think of this.

You know, I'm making a mental to use this style in future, I never have and now analysing it for pros and cons shows how much fun it must be to write to tell a narrative. Moving on.

I like the concept, it might be interesting to see how you develop it. Nothing more to be said since I don't know the plot line.

The humour was good, made me chuckle which was strange. Maybe it is because I'm sleep deprived. The introduction was good, but is the tone going to stay "Silly"? These 2 people seemed to get started at getting the basic survival supplies very fast. I liked it, but if it is going to get serious quickly, keep this chapter in mind. People reading this for the first time will notice if the tone shifts quickly from first to say fourth chapter. It might seem out of place compared to what will come.

jojuja

jojuja #2 · Oct 17th, 2014 · · ·

I would very much enjoy seeing where this goes, um if it's not to much trouble?

ComatoseVEVO

ComatoseVEVO #3 · Dec 7th, 2014 · 1 · ·

You know, the Big Bad here made the mistake of his/her/it's life

ComatoseVEVO

ComatoseVEVO #4 · Jun 22nd, 2015 · · ·

And now commenting once again here, if you aren't dead I would like to see were this is going, however the coloring of the names off puts me and breaks the suspension of unbelief

MisterBlonde

MisterBlonde #5 · Jun 23rd, 2015 · · ·

6121154
I'm not dead, just burned out.
I've been struggling with ideas on how to continue, how to make flashbacks work, that stuff.
And, as I said in the description, the coloured speech is just an experiment. I'll probably write a different version with normal dialogue, but it won't be for some time, most likely.

Thunder--Clash