Due to the recent animal activity from the Everfree Forest, Princess Celestia has sent an agent from The Academy. What will happen when a certain librarian starts to fall for the crimson haired warrior? What secret is he keeping from the town folk of Ponyville? Join Crimson Storm on a journey that will shake the foundation of the world.
All ponies are humanized. Pegasi still have wings and Unicorn's cast magic with their hands.
Inspired by Gentlemanj's amazing series. 'The Journey of Graves.' and RoosterTeeth's RWBY
Chapters (33)
DAMN YOU AND YOUR LUST FOR NEW STORYS
Why you no update other fics? Still waiting on beats of their hearts and drowning in love
I love the idea for this story.
3050642 working on them
Dammit, I'm trying not to get into too many stories.
I swear if Crimson has a nine-tailed fox demon sealed in him I'm going to be very upset. Otherwise, great beginning.
SILENTPEGASUS HAS LEVELED UP! Insanity +9483902829084239084
I've read a good number of your stories and I'm fairly certain you're sexually attracted to the phrase "in a low tone".
3051061 Nope. I'm not that dumb.
Looks good so far, can't wait to see where this goes!
this seems pretty good so far.... HOWEVER, your VERY close to falling for a HORRIBLE mistake a lot of people make...... a OC that is really strong... that has a tragic back story.. and one of the main 6 falls for him....... if your not careful your OC will turn into something horrible VERY quickly.....
I always imagined that if people could get cutie marks, it would be on their shoulders or whatever the area of your arm where you get shots is called.
Also, I could imagine you creating a group for this story's universe. I believe it would get quite popular.
WOW, that was really good! Please update quickly!
Yes, I see a lot of potential in here. Don't waste it.
Lovin it, fav + liked.
Very interesting, have high hopes for this story. Keep up the good work.
You mixed up Rainbow dash's name when you were describing her. You replaced it with Applejack.
Still excellent chapter.
Well. That was some pretty damn good chapter over here.
I'm waiting for more of this. Really big hopes over here ;]
Really?
That means the train's only going 5 mph assuming there's no stops inbetween and it would need alot of stops to make up for that time. (Also the "Said" doesn't need to be capitalized)
Meaning the protaganist is travelling at the snailspace of 1.6 mph. You might want to change either the travel times or the distance, because right now it's a bit unrealistic and the train is worse than a bicycle. Apart from this issue, still a good chapter just don't go making the protaganist a gary stu.
MOAR. PLEASE.
Also thank you for making this masterpiece.
Murder of Crows from Bioshock Infinite?
3065744
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3065744
other than the minor time discrepancies this has been a good start to the story wouldn't you say?
think about it.... she promised shining armor to stay away from him years ago. now he is the one sent to help out the town she just happens to be in.
3087604
It's been a decent start to a story i'll admit, but there are issues I have with this story.
For one, the main character is in a perfect position to become a gary stu: his colour scheme is black and red (a suprising commonly feature of gary/mary stu characters); he has a tragic past in which his parents have died; he's treated as an outcast due to his unique and abnormally stong powers, he was taken into an academy that trains the strongest warriors in equestria while being sent on a mission for the strongest class of these warriors; he has a unique pet (assumingly strong by the mention of it's size); finally the point that you brought up, his love interest, while having a love interest is all fine and dandy, his is one of the main characters (not necessarily a gary stu trait it often can be however, especially if it's a love at first sight kind of one and the whole love interest from childhood is a cliche i'm not fond of).
Of course this is all fine as long as the author manages it well and avoids the trap of the gary stu.
My second issue is that the whole humanisation this story has going on, while I don't really have anything against it and I understand that it can be a thing newer authors (and this guy clearly isn't) do as they aren't quite comfortable with writing non-human characters, I just find it to be an unneeded part of the story, all that would have to be done is simply swap some words and then it's no longer humanised.
My third issue would be the use of all caps in sentences or speech. I am aware that it hasn't been done much in this fic but it is still here. All cap sentences are comepletely unneeded, it's what this "!" is for (this doesn't mean you can use a ton of them after the other e.g. "you bloody oaf!!!!!"), they're simply an eyesore for me and all I can imagine when they're used are those hushed yells people do when telling a joke or a story. The exclamation mark just has so much power to it that capslock just doesn't have.
And those are all the issues I have with this story, I shall continue to follow it to see where it goes and if it improves. Uh sorry for the rant sort of thing I just had and the slight irrelevency it had to your question.
3088295
no problem. i like bouncing points around with other writers. we will probably have one or two of these each chapter.
and yes i have to agree with the capitals. they are unnecessary. most times. if used correctly they are very useful.
then on to your point of the humanization. i think everyone should give it a shot at least once. of course i still think the need to add luna emoticons to this site.
but back to what i was saying. again if done correctly these kinds of stories are actually very good. in my opinion. but to each their-own.
i will be following this story closely.
till next chapter.
trooper
3088336
Oh I certainly agree that when done right, these sort of stories can be great, it's just that i'm rather disappointed when fics with potential fall down the gary stu path and aren't written well enough to pull it off (not saying that this one has done so, atleast not yet it hasn't).
Anyway the bouncing around of points I shall await for (i'd also like to point out that i'm no writer, simply an avid lurker that likes to bring things up when it's too hard to stay silent about them)
3088374
i will give it a few more chapters before letting the gary stu persona hang over it. and if you look at my stories. you will notice that i did not write them. i just posted them for a friend.
3088374 I appreciate the feedback and I'm working hard to stay away from the stu scenario.
why you stop here?
we want more.
3100318 I
Cliffhangers.
Damn you Hasbro!!!
OOOHHHHHH SNAP.
Anyone else catched the red vs blue reference.
3100445 YES!
This story sounds similar to the journey of graves series
3101036 I am a HUGE fan of that series
and I look to it for inspiration. But I assure you that this story is 100% original.
3101057 Yeah the story is great so far, I just got some deja vu while reading it.
i.qkme.me/3rzyhw.jpg
Caught the RvB reference. Good chapter but...you wouldn't have happened to have read GentlemanJ's story of Graves would you? Because...well this chapter seems to be..."heavily inspired" by the first story.
I love this story and can't wait for the next chapter.
3101597
Agree with this fella. It's certainly inspired by Journey of Graves.
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3102820 it's almost copy paste. But the change in background, fighting style, and personality should make it a very interesting twist.
3104033
I still find JoG to be better
Yayyyy new chapter!
3104122 No argument here.
I'm liking this story so far. Although I don't know what this Journey of Graves is. At first I thought you were ripping off Naruto again. But I'll be keeping my eye on this one.
3106969 Search for the author GentlemenJ