Chapter 2: personal trainers
Special thanks to ICantThinkOfAName and Roc Sighfor editing this chapter! they deserves all the cookies!
By the time Cage and Nickel got back to the store it was already night, and River Stomp didn’t have any lights other than the faint glow from ponies in their cottages getting ready for bed. Mr. Flank had already left the store, so everything was locked when Nickel barely landed before trying to yank the door open.
“Its locked!” she yelled, looking back at Cage who was still a little way off.
Cage quickly caught up to his companion on the ground, before pulling a key out from his mane and throwing it to Nickel.
“Here, and don’t be so loud, you’re going to wake everypony up,” he said before he started undoing the straps that connected him to the sky wagon.
Nickel almost dropped the key that was thrown to her, but quickly got control before shoving it into the keyhole and giving it a good twist. The door popped open and she tried to hold it for Cage, who already had the unconscious human on his back and was making his way inside.
“How is he doing?” Nickel asked quietly as Cage walked past her.
“He should be fine,” Cage replied as he made his way into a nearby room. “Can you lay some blankets out for him over there?” he tilted his head to one of the corners of the room.
“Yeah,” Nickel said as she ran off to a closet door in the hallway. She quickly gathered three blankets and threw them on the floor where Cage asked her to.
Cage gently lowered the human off his back on to the makeshift bed when everything was organized to Nickel’s liking. He wasn’t breathing hard anymore and now looked more like he was just sleeping as he lay sprawled out on the floor.
Cage gently lifted up the humans pant leg to see his swollen ankle.
“It looks like he just got scratched, so I bet he didn’t get that much poison in his system,” he observed before turning to make his way to the door.
“Where are you going?” asked Nickel, there was a little twinge of panic in her voice as she spoke. “We can’t just leave him here like this!”
“Look,” Cage sighed, “There’s nothing we can do right now, we already gave him a full dose of antivenom. Right now the best thing we can do is let him rest for the night, he should be fine in the morning, and then we can find his owner.”
“But-” Nickel started, before being cut off by Cage.
“His body can fight off the effects of the poison if we let it, so come on. He’s not going anywhere.”
With that, Cage walked out of the room. Nickel looked at the human laying there one more time, her ears splayed back and she wore a worried look on her face as she followed Cage out, turning off the lights to the room and closing the door as she did.
~~~~>>Nickel<<~~~~
“Oh my gosh! How is the human doing?” I wondered as I flew from my home to the pet shop. “I didn’t get much sleep last night, I mean, how could I when I have a human in my work room? I always wanted a pet human. Then one just falls in my lap, and I leave him alone! No wonder my parents never let me have one!”
It didn’t take me long to get anywhere in this town, and when I saw the store I turned my wings upward just a bit so I could zip around to the back where I left the door unlocked last night. (What? I don’t have a key and it’s not like anypony is going to steal anything in this town.) I let myself in and make my way over to where I left the human last night.
Once inside I took a few moments to straighten my feathers and mane a bit. I’d gotten up really early so I could be the first one here, so I may have skipped some brushing and things. But that didn’t mean I can’t look my best for our first real meeting.
Once done, I quietly opened the door to the examination room and slowly stick my head in so I don’t frighten him. I looked around and saw that he was still sleeping in the corner.
“That’s no fun, now I can’t… um I don’t know, I didn’t really think about it but I don’t know anything about humans.”
“But I bet I know where I can find out,” I think as I look at one of the cabinets by the wall. I tippyhoof over to it and look inside and find what I’m looking for: a copy of the book “Your Human and You”.
“Awesome!” I say quietly so I don’t wake up the human. As I open the book and look at the table of contents. “I mean it’s not like I’m actually going to read the whole thing, its huge!”
I find what I’m looking for - a section for new owners - on page 124. I flip to the page and start reading.
You and Your First Human
No doubt, after you get your first human, you’re going to have a lot of questions about him or her. Questions such as:
What breed of human do I have? P.125
How violent is my human? P.126-127
Is my human healthy? P.128
How can I make my human happy? P.129
And naming tips P.130
We go over all this and much more, in this section so that you can have the best experience possible with your new human.
“Oh, yeah, what breed is he?” I said out loud to no pony, as I turn the relevant page.
What breed is my human?
You may be having some trouble knowing what kind of human you have. That is because unlike other animals you can’t tell just by looking at them. Even within the same breed humans can vary greatly. However, humans are extremely good at adapting to new environments, and so often times the best way to tell what breed of human you have is to watch how they behave. For example a Mountain human will often jump down small flights of stairs, mimicking the act of jumping from rock to rock, or Miners will dig holes in soft dirt.
“Hmmmm what is he like?” I thought to myself as I looked over at the human in the corner.
I didn’t have much time to really see what he was like, except for back in the cave. My mind goes back to when he was standing over me fighting off those bats; he had both of his hands up in front of him, and punched out at everything that came close to me.
The way he moved, I know I have seen something like that before, but where?
Then it hit me: he was boxing! A friend at school had told me that minotaurs liked to do that as a sport.
“So he’s a boxer,” I said with a little squeal of excitement as I looked over at him. “Just like a dog, this is so much fun! Oh, I should write this down.”
I slid open one of the drawers of the cabinet and pulled out one of the adoption packets, then rip off the first page that had all the basics. Things like the owner’s name, the human’s breed, and name and other important stuff. Just so I could keep track of everything.
“Oh, he needs a name!” I said to myself. What page was that name thing again? I quickly find it and start to read.
Naming tips
Naming your human is easy; the best way to find a name that fits well with your human is to look at him/her. It’s easy for everypony to know who you’re talking about if you’re human has freckles and you name it spot. Or, if their hair tends to grow all over the place, shaggy maybe a good name.
“What he looks like, got it!” I said as I looked over at him lying in the corner.
I had a hard time seeing what he looked like while he was wearing all those black clothes: it completely covers him. Even his hands were wrapped in some black fabric! I couldn’t think of anything as I stare at him lying there in the shadowed corner.
I blinked, and realized I was thinking too hard about this.
“Wow, how did I miss that?” I say, as I turn back to the paper and put Shadow in the blank spot next to name, then add in Boxer under the breed section.
“There, that seems fitting,” I thought about my expert decisions.
I look up from the paper I was writing on, and saw two brown eyes staring at me. strung
“Oh buck, He’s awake!”
~~~~>Shadow<~~~~
I woke up lying on the floor with blankets draped around me in what looks almost like a doctor’s office.
But that’s not the weird part.
Oh no, the weird thing is that across the room sitting on a chair by a cabinet is a baby Pegasus.
It was silver with a mane and tail of rusty red, and there was this picture of what looked like a small pile of coins on its flank, and it was talking to itself! In honest-to-goodness English nonetheless!
It looked up and jumps a little when it saw me staring at it. I kept my eyes locked with it as it nervously looks back at me. Then it blinked like it remembered something and snatches up a book that was lying next to it. I just sat there watching as it quickly read something and then put the book down.
It then flew over to a small basket of apples (that I just noticed, why didn't I see that sooner?)and grabbed one before flying over to me. It proffered it to me with one hoof, as if it wanted me to take it.
I took the apple from the baby Pegasus out of instinct more than anything else, then just sat there not knowing what it wanted. It watched me expectantly for a bit as if it were waiting for me to do something, though I couldn’t say what.
When I failed to do whatever it wanted it vacantly looked down at the apple I was holding. It made a face. What was It thinking? Then it looked back up at me with a smile and mimed eating some imaginary thing it was holding.
Even though I had no idea what was going on, I wasn’t stupid and I knew that it wanted me to eat the apple. Looking down at it I remembered that it had been a while since I had eaten anything. So I lifted it up to take a bite out of it, but before I could the Pegasus reached out and snatched it away from me.
I just sat there with a stupid look on my face.
“What the hell was that about?” I thought as I looked at the Pegasus who was holding out the apple again.
Carefully I took the apple, slowly lifting it to my mouth, and then the Pegasus took it from me again!
“Ok if you want to be like that!” I thought as I quickly reach out and grab the apple, the sleeve of my Gi giving out a satisfying snap at my speed.
The baby Pegasus flinched from me moving so suddenly. When it realized what I had done it looked at me like I cheated or something. Then lunged out at the apple that I was now holding in between us. I let it grab a hold of it with its hoof, but when it tried to pull the apple out of my hand I tightened my grip so it couldn’t take it from me this time.
“Hey! That’s not what you are supposed to do!” she said, (I was guessing it was a she by the sound of her voice) as she reaches out and grabs hold with both hooves. I curled my wrist so she was pulling more on my hand than the actual apple, and she started to use her back hooves and climb up my chest in an attempt to get more leverage.
She was giving it everything she had to get the apple from me as I sat there.
“This is hilarious!” I thought to myself.
She was putting her entire body weight into pulling, but it wasn’t getting her anywhere. Not that I mined: she wasn’t that heavy.
I could let go and let her fall back, but I decided not to because - well to be honest, it was adorable! And she reminded me of my old dog growing up. Even the little grunts she made as she pulled made me smile. She sounded like she was an adult, but she was so small. Could she be a pony? But ponies back on my parent’s farm all had tempers, this one acted more like a puppy.
Then the door to the room opened and another Pegasus stood in the doorway. It took in the scene before it yelled.
“Nickel, what are you doing?!”
“Ok, there’s that temper. Maybe they are ponies.”
I sat there as Nickel (I’m assuming is her name,) kept pulling as she grunted back.
“I’m trying to find out if Shadow’s violent, but I can’t take the apple away to find out!” she said through gritted teeth.
“Get down from there now,” the other Pegasus - a white stallion with a little longer mane and tail that was a dirty brown - said. He had three flying birds on his flank. I wonder what that was about.
Nickel abandoned her attempts at the apple, letting go to fly over to the other pony.
“What? I got the idea from the book.”
He pulled Nickel to the side and tried not to yell at her. “Do you know what could have happened?”
“Come on Cage, it’s fine, I can handle myself. besides look at what I already found out,” I overheard Nickel say as she lifted a piece of paper in front of him.
He just ripped it out of her hoof and through it out the doorway they were standing in.
“So Cage must be this white one,”] I thought to myself as I look at the book Nickel was reading earlier. I picked it up and looked at the front of the book. “Your Human and You” by Dr. Mac Guffin. I looked at the first page and realized that it was a pet owner’s manual.
“They think I’m a pet... Oh, I can have fun with this.”
I put the book back and started listening to what the two were talking about.
“But I still need to see if he’s healthy,” Nickel told Cage.
“I’ll do that, just go see if Goldie Delicious has the things that we need, ok?” Cage replied.
“Fine!” She said before walking off, “You always get the fun jobs,” I heard her say as she stalked off.
With that Cage looked at me.
“Ok big guy, I just need to make sure your ankle is ok.”
“My ankle?” I thought as I lifted up my pant leg to look at it. This made Cage stop and look at me suspiciously.
“Did you just-”
He was cut off when another voice called out from another room.
“Cage, what’s this ‘human’ business Nickel is talking about?”
Cage quickly looked from me to where the voice was coming from before answering.
“Coming Mr. Flank,” he then looked back at me. “Don’t move, just stay right there.”
And then he left.
I took the opportunity to look at my ankle. It was bruised but other than that it looked fine. Content with that I looked at a paper that was left on the cabinet. It was clear from the little bit of frayed paper still held in place by a staple that there was once a first page.
The paper looked like basic information for a patient, so I filled it out.
Height: 6’1
Weight: 169
Age: 23
Hair color: black
Prior Conditions: none
It was no different than anything I had ever filled out for a doctor before, but to be honest I never really paid much attention to them anyways. But Nickel said that she found out some info already, the least I could do was help out with this part.
~~~~>Mr. Flank<~~~~
“Cage! Nickel just left saying that she needed to get things for Shadow?” I asked, trying to keep calm.
“Yeah, about that,” Cage started. “We found a human in the cave last night, he protected Nickel and was injured so we….”
I raised a hoof to stop him.
“So you brought it here. Ok look, Mr. Rose will be here any minute to pick up his new pets, forget about the human and get everything ready for him. We will deal with the human later.”
With that the bell over the front door rang out as Mr. Rose walked into the shop with his daughter in tow.
“Mr. Flank, it’s a pleasure to see you,” he said to me.
“Likewise, Mr. Rose.”
“I trust you have my slugs ready?”
Their exchange was interrupted by his daughter, Morning Glory.
“Dad, I want a real pet not one of your gross slugs!”
“I’ll tell you what,” Mr. Rose bargained, looking down at Morning Glory. “You can have any pet you want from here, ok?” he looked back up at me. “Can she look at what you have in stock?”
“Of course,” I said, turning to Cage. “Get Mr. Rose’s slugs ready for transport and take Morning Glory to see the animals.”
“Yeah,” was all he said, before turning and walking off, Morning Glory following with a heavy frown.
When the two of them were out of sight Mr. Rose quietly asked if everything was alright.
“Yeah,” I replied. “All the legalities check out, we can get as many cave slugs as we need.”
~~~~>Shadow<~~~~
After filling out the rest of the form I reached over and turned on the water to a sink that was in the room. After walking around in that cave for who-knows how long I felt covered in mud and wanted to wash some of it off, and I was told to stay after all. So I took off my gi and hand wraps, then lifted off my shirt so I could try and clean myself a bit.
I had only just started washing myself off as best as I could with my hands when I heard a small gasp. I looked over at the door, and standing there was a little green unicorn with a light purple mane and tail that had a darker purple streaks running through it. This one had a picture of a flower on its flank, and she looked just a little younger than Nickel. She was looking up at me with her mouth open and amazement in her eyes as she walked into the room.
I knelt down as she started to get closer to me so I wouldn’t scare her. When she was in reach I lifted my hand and started to scratch the back of her ear. She pulled away as my hand got closer, but when she felt me scratching she started to melt.
Then all at once she jumped on me, rapping her hoofs around me in a hug, I laugh a little at this, “She’s just like a little puppy.” I think as she starts to rub her face into my chest.
“Oh my god! Moonflower just got a human and told me he’s awesome, now I have one!” she cooed as she snuggled me. “And you have muscles too!”
I won’t lie: the compliment made me feel good. You see, martial arts don’t give you big muscles. If you wanted those you had to do weight training. Instead, martial arts really toned your body up so you looked chiseled rather than oversized. But try explaining that] to a cute girl. Either way it was nice to have someone notice for once, so I returned the hug.
I then lowered my head and rubbed my cheek on her, making her giggle, and she licked up my neck like a dog in return. I didn’t mind, I had been licked by dogs before and I was used to it. But I had been trying to clean off, so I let her go.
She looked disappointed by that, but quickly cheered up when she noticed the papers on the cabinet. She snatched them up and glanced over them before looking around for something. I didn’t really pay much attention, as I was already back at the sink trying to wash off the spit on my neck. She ran to the doorway and looked back and forth for a bit before running out of sight. I thought that was the last I would see of the little unicorn.
Only five minutes passed before I was bored of waiting, so I left the room to look for someone that could answer my questions. When I was out, I noticed that the building I was in was not a hospital or doctor’s office. Normally hospitals had white walls and were really clean, but this place had gray cement walls and smelled like someone was letting too many cats stay here.
I looked down the hallway, and noticed the little green unicorn bouncing happily up and down by an older unicorn stallion. He was old and his weathered red coat showed it, a blooming rose was plastered on his flank. He was signing something; I couldn’t see what it was, as the little green unicorn ran up and jumped at me. I quickly bent down to catch her, and carried her out to a room that looked like a store.
When I joined the other ponies the older unicorn and a normal brown pony with an ice pick picture on its flank were goggling at me, mouths open like they were going to say something.
And then Nickel burst through the door, and started talking excitedly.
“Good news everypony, Goldie Delicious had everything we needed and she even threw in a collar. I got it engraved with his name!”
I think everyone was too surprised at what happened to react for a moment. Then the collar that Nickel was showing off glowed a light green before disappearing.
And out of nowhere I felt something snake around my neck and shut with a snap.
“Great! Then I have everything I need to adopt Shadow,” the little green unicorn I was holding chirped happily.
The unicorn then lifted its head so she could whisper in my ear.
“And when I get you back to my bed I can start teaching you some tricks.”
And then she nibbled on my ear just a little.
My eyes went wide with comprehension.
“Oh hhhheeeeellllllllllll no!”
~~~~>Ricky Rose<~~~~
“What is that?” I demand from Lucas.
His ears splayed back at my words before answering.
“A human my employees found.”
I looked him straight in the eye as I addressed the issue as pointedly as I could.
“And did I just sign its adoption papers?”
“It would seem so.”
I could feel the vein on my forehead pop out.
“Lucas Flank, tell me why I shouldn’t have the rest of the family come pay you a visit?”
“In my defense sir, I didn’t know that was the paperwork for the human,” Lucas said nervously, as he started to take a couple steps back.
I wasn’t getting any closer to him, but I continued to stare at him and let him know without saying a word how that was not going to cut it.
Lucas continued trying to save himself.
“He could be a bodyguard,” he pointed out.
This caught my attention. Out of everything he could have said, I didn’t expect that.
“Explain,” I demanded.
“My trapper - he’s an expert, by the way - tells me the human will protect ponies. And having an expendable bodyguard for Morning Glory could be a good idea,” he said. “He could protect her from the other families.”
“Hmmm, that may be a good idea. Morning Glory is becoming a mare, and I can’t always be there for her. Maybe having this human could work,” I thought to myself.
I look over at Morning Glory, and I know that look she was giving the human. It’s the look that fillies give stallions when they want to lose something their fathers wished they never would.
“Ok Mr. Flank, we will take him,” I said. “But I want him castrated.”
Knowing others is wisdom, knowing yourself is enlightenment. -Lao Tzu
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..... What the buck have him vivisected
I love his reaction!!!!!
... Whelp, time to put that training to good use.
4903426
Vivasection is Dissection while something is alive, I think you mean Vasectomy. Castration and Vasectomy are two different things, while vasectomy is reversable, castration is the complete removal of the testies. This is done to male animals to diminish testosterone production, if you don't have balls the body doesn't waste effort producing reproduction hormones. Not a good thing for a guard animal, generally you want an aggressive male seeking to protect its territory from unknown intruders. Though between Castration and Vivasection maybe the latter would be better :P
Oh man I hope Nickel steals him away before that or he gets the hell out of Stomp.
I loved the episode
until I get to the word castrated 
Oh, Bóxer is going to be in so much trouble with Glory.
D'OH! DATS A NONO WORD WITH MALES!
Auch,
in truth they are going to do to him?
show them why trying that will get u f*ucked up.
okay so lets hope he stops that castration thing.
also lets hope he turns that chick into a living onahole then burns the dad alive.
Well sh
t just got real.
Oh gods no. Abandon ship! Every wang for himself!!!
this is all I have to say
https://youtu.be/cdHp7I6pDdc
STAWP