Shadow Boxer

by commander sweetie belle

Prologue: sucker punched (revised)

If celestia ever have gave mankind a gift it would be ICantThingOfAName. Thanks for editing this chapter!

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"Why is it so bloody hot today?" I wonder as I peddle my bike down the street, sweat dripping from every part of my body. Ok, maybe deciding to take my bike instead of driving my - perfectly good - car was stupid after all. But I was the one who thought it would be a good "warm up" for class, idiot.

And this heavy black karate uniform didn't help; I mean really, this thing was 14 oz. at least for god’s sake. At least Master Clayton didn't make me carry all of my training gear. Just my belt, hand wraps, mouth piece, and the top to my GI. All of which was currently in my duffle bag, that I have slung around my shoulder.

I started taking my bike to classes when I was about 12. My parents didn't spend much time at home, so I never spent much time with them growing up, and riding my bike is better than sitting at home with nothing to do. Now the habit’s just stuck with me, I guess.

As I turn onto the dried canal that cuts straight through the city, a dog starts barking at me from behind a fenced off yard. "How can you have the energy to get so worked up in this heat?" I say to myself as I keep peddling down the rocky path.

I like dogs; I had one as a kid named strawberry. Since I didn't see my parents much and I don't have any siblings, she became my best friend. We would wrestle around, or go play in a nearby park. She would even just chill with me when I was busy with something. It was a really sad day when she passed; I think I cried for a week straight. I never got another dog after her; I just never wanted to replace her.

But that was years ago, and I moved out of that little farm town when I started college. At least now there are other people within a 15 mile radius of my house, I mean really who could live in such a secluded little hole? It sucks! There's no one to talk to, and the only things to do is farming or practice martial arts. And I really hated farm work!

I stopped paying attention. I mean, the path I was on is a dried up canal, with only two directions, so it’s not like I can get lost or anything. So I just keep peddling, cursing this stupid sun, and its desire to rain down its heat on me.

Then out of nowhere a blast of white light smacks me right in my face. Before I can figure out what the hell happened I hit something; throwing me head first over the handle bars, my bag flipping over me as I landed flat on my back. I lay there on the cold stone floor. My head still spinning from the light, or the landing, hell I don't know!

All I know is that I crashed, my head hurts, and I'm lying in some cold, damp mud. Wait... what? I roll over to my side, as I try and blink some sense back into my eyes. Finally, my vision starts to clear a bit, letting me see the wet cave wall that I was lying next to. Ok? I have never been so confused in my life. I slowly start to push myself up as I look around, to see that I was indeed in a cave.

"What the hell?" I try to say, only to be met with a burning sensation in my throat that makes me start coughing like a veteran smoker. The pain makes me put a hand to my throat, and lean over like I'm about to throw up. "Ok, not going to try that again anytime soon." I think to myself as I looked down.

That's when I noticed the floor, it was filled with small rocks over a soft mud bed, and just a little water was running in between the rocks keeping everything damp. I looked up to see what, if I had to guess, was an underground river. "How the hell did I get underground?" I think to myself as I look up at my new roof.

There where strings of what looked like moss, dangling from some of the rocks that shot out from the ceiling. What where they called again, oh, right stalactites! Then it hits me, "I was somehow magically teleported underground, to who knows where, and I'm thinking about rocks," I facepalmed. "I'm an idiot!" the moss dangling from the ceiling gave off a green glow that provided light to the cave. It wasn't much, but I could see.

"I need to find a way out of here,” I think as I look for some... thing! I look behind me and noticed something that really throws me for a loop, a tree. For the first time sense I have been here I get on my feet, the lightweight of my bag reminds me that I still have it, And start to make my way over to the tree. It looked like it was a normal fruit tree, with long vines that hang down, large orange orbs dangled all over the vines.

As I start to make my way over to it I see something small moving along the base of the tree. Little creatures that looked almost like… frogs? Well, not really like frogs, their eyes were on two stalks that shot out from their head, and they each had one large fang that looked way too big for their little bodies.

They were hopping around gathering the fruits from the tree, while the largest one used his one oversized tooth to spear the gathered food. He then sucked at the wound he made, and threw the fruit husk to the side when it was sucked dry, before moving on to the next one. The big one was about the size of my bag, while all the other ones looked the same size as footballs. Each one with a fang that was roughly half as long as its body.

It was incredible, they looked like little aliens. And I discovered them! Animal Planet is going to start doing back flips for the little guys, I bet they will even brake out a contract to get my own show, right on the spot!

But before I could sign anything, a green glob falls from the ceiling right in the middle of my little frogs. Everything stopped as every eye looked at the green blob. Then it slowly started to move, letting its head come out of its goopy looking body. The thing was glowing a silky green just like the ceiling. Just when I released that it was some sort of grub, all at once the frogs jumped on it. Each piercing the grub with a fang repeatedly and sucking at the bleeding holes. I never seen anything like it, they ripped it apart like it was nothing. Without me realizing it I gave out a little whistle as I watched the barbaric act of nature.

It only took 2 seconds for me to realize my mistake, as the little frog like creatures turned from the grub that was now nothing but an empty bag of flesh, and looked at me. I took as step back, keeping my eyes on the frogs. "Ok, Animal Planet can keep their contract." Then all at once they charged after me.

The first one got right up to me faster than I expected. Not that it would be hard; I didn't try and run or anything, instead I let it get right next to me before I kicked it like I was trying to make a field goal. The little thing went flying as the other ones came at me. When they got into range, I started playing the weirdest game of kick the can (or frog thing) that you have ever seen. Maybe I should have felt bad about doing this, but hey, why not?

That's when I kicked one that was in midair, his mouth open and fang pointing right at me as he leaped at me. He went flying just like the rest of them. But I did feel a slight twinge of pain from him hitting my ankle.

As I continued to stomp, or send flying little frogs everywhere, I started to lose focus, and everything started to look like it was under water. "Crap." I don't know what happened, but now my leg is going numb. "If I lose it now the little buggers are going to kill me." I think as I try and fend them off. "As much as I hate to say it, I need to get away from these things."

With that I sweep up my bag in my arms and start to run, it was more of a weird limp/skip thing but whatever you call it, I got away from those little monsters. I didn't see my bike anywhere, and I didn't have time to look, with my mind starting to get foggy.

Finely I got away from the little monsters, not that it did much good, and my head was still cloudy. I looked down at my leg that was still a little numb, I didn't see anything wrong with it but everything was still hazy. Now people will tell you that when you are in this kind of situation, that it’s best to hold still. But what no one ever tells you is that when you can't think straight, you don't do the smartest things.

So as it turns out, the only thing I can think of doing is put on my GI top and belt, then wrapping my hands and throwing my bag back over my shoulders. I know, not exactly helpful, but I did it. I then started to make my way through the cave in my drunken state, hoping that I could find a way to escape, before something else finds me.

Life unfolds on a great sheet called time, and once finished it is gone forever. – Chinese adage

Comments

[Kamunari]

Well, other than a mass of errors, not bad I'll give this a few more chapters and see where this goes.

[ICantThinkOfAName]

This is the revised version? Wow. Here's all of the stuff that stands out to me (plus a little joke):

"Why is it so bloody hot today?" As I peddle my bike down the street, sweat dripping from every part of my body.

Did you mean for the character to say this or think this? You could be more clear by either italicizing "Why is it so bloody hot today?" for it to be a thought or by adding 'I say/said'.

Now the habits just stuck with me, I guess.

I could be wrong, but I believe this should have an apostrophe.

As I turn onto the dried canal that cuts strait through the city

straight

Sense I didn't see my parents much

since

I think I cried for a week strait.

straight

and I'm lying in some cold damp mud.

cold, damp

I role over to my side,

roll

and lean over like I'm about the throw up.

to

I think to myself, as I looked down.

Unnecessary comma

I think to myself, as I look up at my new roof.

Unnecessary comma

their eyes were on two stocks that shot out from their head

stalks

It was incredible, they looked like little aliens. And I discovered them!

incredible! They looked like little aliens, and

I bet they will even brake out a contract to get my own show

break

a green glob fail from the sealing right in the middle of my little frogs

fell, ceiling

all at once the frogs jumped on it. Each piercing the grub with a fang repeatedly, and sucking at the bleeding holes.

Finely I got away from the little monsters

Finally

is that when you can't think strait

straight

then rapping my hands and throw my bag back over my shoulders.

wrapping, throwing

Also, when our unnamed character thinks to himself, you should probably italicize it. It just makes things less confusing.

This story seems pretty interesting, but even after being revised there still plenty mistakes and they are a bit distracting.

[anonymous549]

I think I cried for a week strait
is that when you can't think strait
straight
I bet they will even brake out
break