Blank Canvas

by Canvas Stories

Chapter 3, An apple a dozen

Blank Canvas

Chapter 3, An apple a dozen

The day began just like the last few: Wake up, tap the alarm clock, get out of bed, and get ready for work. I had gotten so used to this cycle that when I got to the door I realized that it was my day off. I became a little frustrated after realizing this. As I began to unravel my tie, a knock came from the front door that puzzled me for a few brief seconds.

“This is my first day off, that better not be a request for me to take a shift today.” I muttered to myself.

Upon opening the door, I was greeted by a familiar sight, an orange mare with a brown stetson, just about to knock on the already open door.

“Oh hey Applejack, what brings you here?” I slurred, blinking sleep from my eyes.

“Sorry, do ya have work today? Twilight said ya don’t.” Applejack said, trying to be formal.

I raised a single eyebrow on my unamused face.

“I don't, but still, why are you here?” I asked.

“Good, since Twilight has given you your first task.”

“Oh, well then, what is it?” I said, ears perking up to this news.

“Well, you are to come and help me with the apple orchard.” She said with a nervous grin on her face.

“Ooo, what are we doing? Are we going to turn a tree into a pony, or an apple into a orange, or are we going to fight some Timberwolves back into-” I asked rapid-fire until Applejack stopped me with her hoof.

“Woah, hold up there sugar, we're not doing any of that. We’re just going to be bucking some apple trees.” Applejack stated, promptly shattering my dreams.

I stopped and thought about this for a second.

“... Why?”

“She said something about a sound body holds a sound mind, you know, like training a muscle, I guess.”

“Guuuuuh, I guess I have to do this crap again. Just let me get out of this uniform first.” I said with a tone completely free of enthusiasm.

After a little bit of walking, we arrived at Sweet Apple Acres. We were just about to enter the acre, when a big red stallion came out, blocking our path.

“Who’s that?” I whispered to Applejack

“That’s my brother, Big Macintosh” she proudly announced

“Big…. yes, a very big one” I thought as I turned back to the red stallion, blushing a bit.

As I turned to him, I found that staring eye to eye causing me to backpedal a bit. I tried to look directly at him, but my eyes darted from his hooves to his face rapidly.

“Big Mac, Canvas. Canvas, Big Mac.” Applejack introduced, motioning between the two of them with her hooves.

Now he began mimic my actions, looking from my hooves to my face, but squinting a bit.

“Sis, Ah don’t know who this Canvas is, would ya mind telling me?” Big Mac asked with an unnaturally deep bellow.

Applejack opened her mouth to talk, but was hastily interrupted by an excited me.

“I am Blank Canvas, scholar in the magical arts and now student of Princess Twilight Sparkle!” I announced pridefully.

“... Were you the one that levitated Twilight's library?” Big Mac asked.

“Indeed I am. Speaking of Twilight, I haven’t seen her yet. Is she already in the orchard?”

I looked to the Orchard, hoping for a sign of Twilight, but was disappointed to see nothing but apple trees.

“Sorry sugarcube, but Twilight isn't going to be here.”

“Wait, what? Why?” I asked with a noticeable tinge of disappointment in my voice.

“She said she has some royal duties to attend to, and put you under mah watchful eye.”

I planted my hoof on my face, and gave an annoyed sigh.

“OK, let’s just go.” I said in a disgruntled tone.

After a good 3 hours or so of apple bucking, my left flank started to cramp, causing me to sit down and rub it for a bit. The cramp itself distracted me enough that I didn’t notice Applejack until she was only a hoof-length or two away from me.

“Y’alright there, partner?” She asked

“Yeah, I’m alright.” I said as I stood back up.

“Ya seem a bit distracted.”

“I just thought I was going to have today off, but no, I’m out here bucking apple trees.” Expressing my distaste with the current situation as I bucked another tree.

“What’s so bad about it?” She said, earning an annoyed glance from me.

“Well, first of all, I’m- OW!” I yelped as my left leg began to cramp up after a forceful buck.

“Y’alright?” She asked as she rushed up to me.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. As I was saying, I’m not particularly active.”

Applejack looked at the sky, seeing that it was going to get dark soon, and shrugged a bit.

“Welp, I guess it’s about time to head back anyway.”

“Finally, lets go- OW!” I yelped as I tried to stand up, only to fall down from the cramp in my leg.

“Wow, hold up buddy, you seem to have hurt your leg a good bit. I think it’s probably best that you don’t walk all the way home with that leg.” She deduced.

“Oh, so you're some kind of doctor now, are you?” I sniped sarcastically.

“I ain’t no doctor, but it doesn't take a doctor to tell that you can’t walk very far with that leg. why don’t you stay the night with me and mah family?”

“*Sigh*... You know what, why the hell not?”

The journey back was nice; fresh air, clear weather, and the scent of apples in the air. Oh, who am I kidding? I had a limp leg, it was getting dark, and that smell of apples just made me even more hungry then I was before. Worst of all is that I had to use Applejack for support to walk.

Upon arriving, I let out a justifiable “Finally”, and quickened my pace to the door with Applejack following my lead. Just before reaching the door, I spotted three small fillies blocking my path, causing me to skid to a stop, eliciting a brief twinge of pain from my leg. They all stared at me with big eyes and exclaimed “It’s you.”, before slowly shuffling towards me.

“Aaaah, hi, how are you three fillies doing?” I said nervously as I leaned back a bit.

“You're Twilight’s apprentice, aren't you?” The white filly asked as they creeped ever closer.

“Girls, don’t go pestering our guest. Canvas, this is my sis, Applebloom.” Applejack said as she motioned towards the orange filly.

“And these are her two friends, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo.” Pointing towards Sweetie Belle, but finding that Scootaloo had disappeared from her original position.

“What’s wrong with your leg?” The repositioned Scootaloo asked as she jabbed the raised leg with her forehoof.

I tensed up from the unexpected pain running through my leg, and whispered through gritted teeth:

“Please don’t touch my leg.”

“Oh, sorry, are you okay?” Scootaloo said as she scooted back towards Sweetie Belle.

Once my muscles relaxed once again, I spoke:

“Yes, I’m okay, can we just go inside and talk? I’m a bit tired of walking on this leg.”

“Twilight is right, you really do need some exercise” Applejack responded callously.

As my forehooves passed the doorstep, I heard an elderly pony call out “Supper time!” and found myself in a twirl after an oncoming Big Mac charged past, with a mighty “Yup!”. I began to lose my balance as I stopped spinning, and fell to ground, only to look up to find that the three fillies had already flocked towards the voice.

“Come on Canvas, you can rest at the table.” Applejack said as she walked beside me to make sure I didn’t fall.

Everypony crowded around the dinner table, talking to each other as they ate hay and apple themed entrées, all except for me, which sat at one corner of the table just a bit away from the group. I ate persistently as I watched and listened to the three fillies talking about an adventure they embarked on in the hopes of getting their cutie mark. Applejack gave her advice to the fillies, the older pony rambled, and Big Mac remained silent through it all, but still remained a distinct part of the crowd.

“Hey Canvas, how did you get your cutie mark anyways? It doesn't look like anything to do with magic.” Applebloom asked.

“Yeah, how did you get yours?” Applejack asked.

I raised my head with the remains of an apple fritter still being crushed between my teeth. I made eye contact with the other ponies, and lifted my hoof to signal them to wait. Before talking, I looked to my cutie mark. It is a simple desktop file with a mouse cursor over it. The simplicity of it confused me as to how they could be so interested in it, but after carefully thinking about it, and devouring the remaining entrails of the poor apple fritter, it struck me why they were so curious to find out.

“Oh, well, it was way back when I was a colt, just a bit older than these three fillies.” I said as I casually motioned my hoof towards the three polytoned fillies on the other side of the table.

“I was in Canterlot and-”

“Oooh, so you are from canterlot!” Sweetie Belle interrupted enthusiastically.

“Hush.” Applebloom whispered to her friend before fixing her eyes back on me.

“... No, I’m not from Canterlot, but that is the first city I remember. Anyways, I was placed into the custody of two foster parents. One day they let me use their fancy piece of innovation called a mainframe.” I told as I wandered off into a memory.

“Mainframe? What’s a mainframe? It sounds lame.” Scootaloo asked.

“To put it in simple terms, it was a computer before computers became a popular thing.” I said blissfully to the fillies as my mind briefly wandered.

“The darn thing was old even then, but it amused me nonetheless. I started messing around with some of the digital components and next thing I know, my cutie mark appeared.” I said, pointing towards my cutie mark. “Nothing particularly special about it.”

“Then why are you training with Twilight? I thought she was good with magic, not computers.” Sweetie belle asked with a considerable amount of flare in her voice.

“True, and I am learning to enhance my magic, not my computer skills.” I responded with a chuckle.

“But... why? you know what you're good at, why do something else?” Applebloom asked.

I stopped and pondered the question for a few seconds, looking up to find the three fillies leaning increasingly closer.

“Well… there’s usually at least one thing that you will always be good at, but that doesn't mean it is going to be the thing that you like the most. Sometimes you will become interested in something different than what fate prescribed. Besides, I’m better with magic anyway.”

A short silence fell upon the three fillies as they mulled over the wise words I gave to them.

“... Pffffffff ha ha ha, whatever you old horse. You girls want to see if something happened outside?” Scootaloo called out rudely.

“YEAH!” The two other fillies yelled in perfect synchronization as they followed Scootaloo out of the room.

“Hey! I’m not ol- GAH!” I shouted as I was rudely cut off by a sharp pain in my flank from the sudden rotation.

I turned back to subside the pain in my leg, then thought to myself “Heh, maybe I am getting old.”

“Get back inside, you three, it’s time for bed anyway!” Applejack said as the fillies ran out the door.

“Big mac, can you go get them?” Applejack requested.

“Eeyup.” Big Mac responded quickly.

“That means you two as well.” Applejack said, referring to the old mare and me.

“Come on Canvas, you can sleep in the guest room for tonight.”

Written by: Canvas Stories

Edited by: Potato Pride

Comments

[Blackguard]

There's a concept in literature known as, "Unless it's necessary don't include it". That's usually a concept that new writers don't listen to.

The main problem here is the use of this: πρώτη γης. You use it several times possibly to show that this is an alien land but it's not. It's Greek. At no other point in the story are these Greek names used. And in the prologue you even bother to include the English translations right after.

You know what would be better than this? Not including Greek words in your story. If "πρώτη γης" means "first land" then why not call it "first land"? I mean a better name might be "patrida" or "πατρίδα" meaning "homeland" but then my Greek is very rusty so you'll excuse me if this is an incorrect usage. Back to the point. As this is an English site and unless you are making the whole use of Greek to be necessary to the story your best bet is to change this.

[IkioStar]

Kind of rushing in Chapter Three. Would've been better to put off meeting the Apples in favor of some exposition or perhaps some descriptions, or maybe just some analysis on the main by the other characters...The story is kind of missing a lot as-is.

[Canvas Stories]

5128977
Greek is being use, but not as a form of alien writing but more of an ancient writing. Thank you for your word on this and I will address it once a good place to addresses it comes around. For the mean time I need to get caught up with other life matters like school.

[Blackguard]

5130861
Still doesn't make a difference. Unless it plays a role in the actual story and is somehow necessary to the plot you shouldn't include it regardless of why you chose it.

Look at it this way. Imagine you are telling somebody this story and suddenly, for no reason, use a foreign word and don't immediately explain what it is. Your audience has now lost part of the meaning unless you tell them what it means. But why is it necessary to use the foreign word in the first place? You don't speak the language and it's not important to the story that that particular word is used.

[GMD]

...Why is this is HIE, if there's no Human tag?

[Canvas Stories]

5152351 Take a wild guess

[GMD]

5157462

...Uhmm...

...Potatoes?

[Canvas Stories]

5157528 Exactly
but no, I don't do stuff like that with out a good reason.

[IkioStar]

5130993 Only for aesthetics. Even then, it depends on how you use it. 'War and Peace' used it that way. It was mostly French in the beginning and then eventually became progressively Russian over the course of the books.

[Blackguard]

5185839
But that at least had a reason behind it and wasn't just random French words thrown into what was a Russian story.

The French invade and along with the Napoleonic era it meant that French society and culture had a rather strong effect. As such the well to do in Tsarist Russia adopted French customs hence the idea of people speaking French.

This story uses Greek for the sole purpose of making it look like it's an ancient and forgotten language. The author would be better off choosing a dead language like Sanskrit if he really and truly wanted to go that route.

[IkioStar]

5186015 ...Wut. I suppose you're right here, but how would any regular writer FIND Sanskrit? I mean, unless you looked very hard (and most won't because they rely on Google Translate), you aren't really going to find the language itself. Maybe information on the culture though.

Besides, Greek is suitably old. It's been around for far longer than English. He could have just swapped a few symbols and made it gibberish... Honestly, it doesn't matter what he chose, he chose it: it's stupid: done. (At least that's how I think that's punctuated...)

Anyways, relax for a bit, this is a new author, criticize the rest of the story lest he think you unfair, biased or hyper-focused on the one point.

[Blackguard]

5188503

Besides, Greek is suitably old. It's been around for far longer than English. He could have just swapped a few symbols and made it gibberish...

But again, going back to Sanskrit as an ancient language, if I were to write something like, "मौल विदेश" and then just leave it like that what purpose would it serve? It would have none and this is the point. Random usage of foreign words has no place in storytelling unless you tell everybody what the actual meaning is. And even then unless it actually serves a purpose like the word you're using no longer exists or the current language is insufficient to describe it then you could get away with it. Use "piñata" when talking about one of those things you bash with a stick but don't use "dulces" to then tell us what comes out of it.

Basically when writing in English and there's an English word that could be used, use the English word. That's really what it comes down to.

[IkioStar]

5188776 And I agree with you ...all of it...mostly. I mean, there are ways to emphasize the word in English, mostly with capitals...but that type of thematic mysticism works better with a language outside of the one you speak. I'm not saying what he did was right, just that you're taking a singular portion to an extreme.

[Blackguard]

I'm not saying what he did was right, just that you're taking a singular portion to an extreme.

And you're defending it to the extreme without trying to say explicitly that you are. Fact is using foreign words needs reasons. And those reasons can't just be, "I feel like it".

We're going round and round the issue here. My experience and schooling sees it one way, you see it another way. We're not necessarily going to come to a consensus here because I feel this shouldn't be done, and you agree with me... kinda.

In the end it's his story and he can do whatever he wants with it but from a literary POV he's committing a mistake.

[Canvas Stories]

5186015
Nice to see people are commenting actually polite comments. ^^
Well you are jumping the gun here, I literally only have gotten to chapter three and a prologue. I do plan on making many more chapters when I do have time to write them. so for this story I do ask to be patient till I am able to get to topics such as this one.
Also, I have planned out how to depict this story in a manner that is decent, but again, I just have not had time to sit down and and write chapters.

[Canvas Stories]

5194430
There are going to to be reasons for why I am using Greek, just the explanation will come later in the story. I know it sounds weird to have it in now but it...... all I will say is that it is foreshadowing. This conversation is getting a bit tense, so I would like to ask if it can be at a end for now.