First off, I want to say I'm pretty excited to see more of this story and where you plan on going with it. I'm always a fan of strong SoarinFire fics.
That being said though, some seems just a tad off with what's been written so far. I'm not sure if it's a slight shift in tenses or POV or something like that... If you've got editors, maybe they can comb through it and double-check.
This just may be my own opinion as well, but the language didn't sit very well either. Now, I'm completely fine with salty dialogue if the story warrants it (if you've ever seen Black Lagoon...whoo boy), but I got the impression that the swearing here was only put in to give a more serious or "edgy" feel to it. I figure it could be scaled back, and you still can give the tone you want to portray. As a bonus, if you limit the cussing, it makes in much more effective and powerful when you do have it in dialogue. But the impact seems to lessen if it's commonplace throughout the story.
Like I said though, that's just my impressions. I'm quite curious and excited with the premise you have and where the plot is going to go. I'll be watching!
Good characterization.
This is a very nice piece right here. Keep up the good work.
First off, I want to say I'm pretty excited to see more of this story and where you plan on going with it. I'm always a fan of strong SoarinFire fics.
That being said though, some seems just a tad off with what's been written so far. I'm not sure if it's a slight shift in tenses or POV or something like that... If you've got editors, maybe they can comb through it and double-check.
This just may be my own opinion as well, but the language didn't sit very well either. Now, I'm completely fine with salty dialogue if the story warrants it (if you've ever seen Black Lagoon...whoo boy), but I got the impression that the swearing here was only put in to give a more serious or "edgy" feel to it. I figure it could be scaled back, and you still can give the tone you want to portray. As a bonus, if you limit the cussing, it makes in much more effective and powerful when you do have it in dialogue. But the impact seems to lessen if it's commonplace throughout the story.
Like I said though, that's just my impressions. I'm quite curious and excited with the premise you have and where the plot is going to go. I'll be watching!
What are the duties of the Deck Watch NCO?
8293549
They watch over the barracks, and if there is any trouble, they are the ones to deal with it, or call in for help if needed.