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Prologue580 words
What are ya doing in my swamp?!787 words
Celestia fails her speech check837 words
NOPE!418 words
Shrexterminatus!419 words

Shrexterminatus!

Celestia frantically tried to negotiate with Shrek, but it was futile.

"Please! We can surely work this out without without having to resort to violence. I'm only here to hel..."

"Ya had yer chance, and ya blew it, horse!" Shrek said. "Get outta my swamp and go back to tumblr!!!"

Then, Shrek took aim at Celestia with his Intervention, but her guards reacted swiftly.

"Get down, princess!" Thundershield shouted, and Celestia obliged.

"You'll pay for assaulting our princess, ogre!" Cloudfeather shouted as he drew his sword and charged Shrek.

But alas, he wasn't fast enough. Shrek quickly aimed down his Intervention's scope and fired. The .50 caliber bullet blew through Cloudfeather's head, sending bits of his brain flying all over the place.

Thundershield, upon seeing that his comerade had fallen, recoiled in disgust.

"You savage beast! Prepare to have your mind and body cleansed of all your evils!" He shouted. "Let this ogre have a dose of our potion!"

Shrek quickscoped him in response. "No thank ya, laddeh. I love being an ogre!!" He said.

Celestia's horn glowed with magic as she removed the potion from her saddle bag. "I'm only doing you a favor, Shrek! You will soon see what it is like to be a pony!" She said. And then, she threw the bottle.

The glass vessel went soaring through the air, heading straight towards Shrek, but just before it hit him, he sprang into action. Shrek jumped out of the way and spun around in the air a full 360 degrees. Then, Shrek fired at the bottle without even aiming down his scope, and against all odds, hit it. The bullet blasted apart the bottle and disintegrated the unholy liquid within it.

The look on Celestia's face turned from angry to a look of pure defeat.

"And this is the part where ya run away!" Shrek shouted triumphantly. He fired at Celestia, but just before the bullet hit her face, her horn glowed with a bright light.

Then, just as mysteriously as she had arrived, Celestia dissapeared, presumably to the magical horse world from whence she came. The bullet struck a tree behind where the pony princess had stood just a millisecond before.

"Glad that's done with", Shrek said as he went back inside.

But deep down, Shrek had a feeling that it wasn't over yet.

Author's Note:

I tried to make this as in-character as possible. I hoped you liked it! :D

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