The Cutie Mark Crusaders ask Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy about what happened just after the events of the Cutie Mark Chronicles; specifically, what happened to Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash immediately after the race. Reluctantly, Dash and Fluttershy delve into a tale. A tale of a young Fluttershy's amazement at the world she had landed upon, and a filly Dash's desperate quest to save her from that most evil of places: THE GROUND.
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Comments ( 208 )
Well, here's a new story. It's not my best, but I tried.
At least it's short this time.
Thanks for reading.
That was sweet. As in 'sugar'. Thoroughly enjoyed it! "Security cloud" needs to be a thing.
Bit of a problem with Lavender Unicorn Syndrome, though. We know Rainbow Dash is blue x) And your grammar was spotty in places, might want to give it one more proofread.
But don't let that detract from the positive! I very much enjoyed reading this. Like Derpy's Diary, it's really nice to break up the deluge of Dark and Sad with something so happy and uncynical!
That was a cute story.
>ib4 peope say this is actualy a metaphor for goverment propaganda/censorship
What is this thing you're doing to my heart? Oh, you're making it feel things. Only one remedy for that; to chop off my thumbs! Here, have 'em.
Very nice. I was actually going to write a similar story a few weeks ago, but I could never get started on it. I was gonna take a darker route tho. Nonetheless, very enjoyable.
That was a cute little tale with some nice background story for our two favorite pegasi.
no matter how many variations of this story are made, there are still things that are kept constant.
notably, that
is a flight prodigy (getting into flight camp a year early) and that
is a remedial flier (a year older than all other fliers).
Absolutely loved this. I saw that picture a while ago, and I'm so glad there's a fic for it. Filly!Dash and Fluttershy are so cute. Good job with the story! You've really got the hang of their characters.
This is so good that it's almost cannon worthy. I even had a few "Hnnnnngg!" moments from imagining Fillyshy and Fillydash (hiding in a security cloud) having their conversation. The only thing that really sticks out is the whole idea behind being afraid of the ground coming from their parents and other adults. Other than that minor issue, still a great read.
Okay, I need a minute, D'aww overload. *OHMYGODTHISISSOADORABLEICAN'TTAKEITHNGGGG*
....Okay, better now. This is story is just hilarious and adorable in so many ways. Bravo
Mobile Pegasus Platform? Security Cloud? I love this on so many levels. 5 flutteryays for you ![]()
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what kind of raging douchebag pegasus parents would tell their kid THAT????
And holding the ground in disdain would last about as long as it took to skip your next meal. It's pretty obvious hay doesn't grow on clouds, and even the pegasi who lived in Cloudsdale 24-7 would have to deal with the groundbound ponies on a regular basis.
Sounds like Dash's folks are something like the pegasus version of the snooty Canterlot unicorns!
Cute story. ![]()
And it's good! The Author sticks the ending!
Waiting for the judge to verify...
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Well, that settles it! This fic is officially D'aww!
Okay, criticisms first, just to get them out of the way.
"The yellow pegasus snapped to attention as she heard Dash’s anguished cry."
What happened? Did she stub a hoof? Bite her tongue? Realize she's going six shades of gray? "Anguished cry" generally implies some degree of pain, horror, or other negative stimulus occuring.
I guess it's implied that the storm was a product of the Everfree, but some explicit confirmation would be nice. And do I even want to know how Dash attached the clouds to a stick?
All right, now that that's done, let me say that this was a fantastic bit of friendshipping, humor, and worldbuilding. Pegasus prejudice towards the flightless makes a surprising amount of sense, and maps wonderfully to horror stories designed to keep kids in lie and out of danger. Pegasi must have the most hilariously terrible ghost stories ever. "When she woke up, there wasn't a cloud in the sky, and surrounding her? Nothing at all. Nothing... but the DIRT!" Also, this seems appropriate. And remember, never underestimate the platypus.
In brief, thanks for writing this. Most enjoyable.
What be this? A fanfiction with emtotion? This is a rare case my friend. Great work!
I had a mixture of D'awwwwwwww and Hnnnnnnnnng! while reading this. ![]()
I do find it funny how Fluttershy is this scarecrow filly while every other pony is all stub legs and jelly bean bodies as foals. ![]()
Guess that all the proof we need right there when she keeps saying,"But umm, I'm older then you."
what the hell is a platypus doing here? they're poisonous, territorial, and terrifying. dash has every reason to be afraid of them!
everything else, though? absolutely adorable.
Very cute and full of fun moments. Some typos, but overall written well enough. Good work!
Ah, nothing like some good ol' fashion friendshipping to help balance out the piles of shipfics I usually read.
Really nice. Oh who am I kidding? D'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWw Godspeed and goodluck WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWw
I don't actually see Dash's parents as being that bad. A bit overprotective yes, but not that bad. All parents tell there little kids stories to keep then from trying things that are dangerous.I would expect that when she got older they would say more.







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