A mother's love, a daughter's passion, and a destiny neither of them could've predicted. Just how much is love and life destined in Equestria and just how will it effect the lives of the two ponies connected the most through destiny?
One of the first things they all noticed when they woke up in a sexy pony pile was that there was no hiding the smell. It saturated into everything in the room bringing back vivid memories of what they did the night before. Their collective bodies felt everything they did together and along with that came body shuddering mini-orgasms. “Okay, if anypony asks why we had random orgasms. We tell them Derpy for me and Dinky for you Sweets are just that good to us. And no we didn’t find having sex near one another weird. Although Sweets,” Twilight said looking lustily at her lover, “You were amazing last nigh
This whole part has already been said, delete it. Something similar happened in previous chapter.
Other problems: You some times write Dinky were you should have written Derpy. Bad punctuation, a few words where they shouldn't be, a bit of bad grammar.
“Cheap Daiquiris are my weakness, and Luna’s is liquified moonlight forged Moonshine. And being as long lived as we are, from time to time we all got wasted and one thing led to another. And well you can guess the rest from there,” Dinky said.
Hah! I knew Derpy had slept with Luna. Overall a good chapter, especially as Luna seeks to join the herd. I'm guessing the pony hiding in the bushes may have been Blueblood possibly. The good feels are a bit interrupted by the Trixie and mysetery pony subplots, but I suppose I can trust that it will be worth it for the story's sake.
I find myself wondering how you come up with your choice of words sometimes. Help me out here, I'm curious.
"And hearing of your adventures with your friends the Cutie Mark Crusaders fills me with glee at the adventures you get yourselves into."
Sure, your sentence structure is mysterious in its own right, but "fills me with glee"? Why did you shoehorn in that phrase? Are you quoting some song lyrics as inspiration that I don't know about? What really goes on in that head of yours?
I write what I see/hear. I get a story-like movie in my head [like when you're immersed in a good book and it's like you're really there [well good books]] and I just write it ... that and I've got higher functioning autism. So to me, my sentence structures are completely normal. To lots of editors [kingtiger666 for ex.] and I guess some readers it leaves them confused. Which confuses me since I didn't think it was confusing / weird until it was brought up.
How is that phrase weird btw? She heard tales of Sweetie Belle and her friends [the Cutie Mark Crusaders] from Celestia. Those tales [(mis)adventures /shenanigans] shared by her sister, filled her with glee [since a body can be touched, moved, filled with, or wounded with /by emotions. A person being filled with glee is plausable].
4925858 Okay, I understand your style of writing better now. You're quite good; your autism is a blessing, I think. The only thing to look out for are standard grammatical problems. If you have editors, they're missing quite a bit in my opinion.
Luna being filled with glee is as plausible as it is wonderful. It was just the millionth unusual phrase I've seen and I figured I would say something.
I love that your style is so different from anything I've seen before.
4925858 interesting, this is the first time i see someone who has the same writing technique I do. pretty much why i like to call myself a chronicler rather than a writer since i really only write down what plays out in my head. I wonder if this is a rare thing though, since normally i don't hear many authors claiming to do the same .
Now, and i hope this isn't to personal, i wonder if you can tell me how your autism influences your writing. I just find it interesting that we seem to have such a similar style, despite our difference in that regard .
4942897 Yes, you're not the first person to have creative phenomena playing out in your head. Don't you think it's possible that your brain can just make those stories up? Your brain could be running an algorithm for good storytelling behind the scenes, using equations to judge what a good story is before getting anyone's reaction. It's like a subconscious program trying to behave mysteriously beneath the oversight of your rational mind. You needn't really question it any further, lest you go down the path where madness lies.
Conversely, you may be channeling the creative flow from a metaphysical information stream in hyperspace. But let's not believe anything lest we fall into the trap of disbelieving its opposite, yes? Believe nothing and yet leave nothing disbelieved. That is the true state of wisdom: admitting ignorance. We can't know how the brain works until it's reverse engineered several decades from now.
This whole part has already been said, delete it.
Something similar happened in previous chapter.
Other problems: You some times write Dinky were you should have written Derpy. Bad punctuation, a few words where they shouldn't be, a bit of bad grammar.
It should say derpy. Just so you know.
4903125
Thanks for the catch . Fixed.
Hah! I knew Derpy had slept with Luna.
Overall a good chapter, especially as Luna seeks to join the herd. I'm guessing the pony hiding in the bushes may have been Blueblood possibly. The good feels are a bit interrupted by the Trixie and mysetery pony subplots, but I suppose I can trust that it will be worth it for the story's sake.
I find myself wondering how you come up with your choice of words sometimes. Help me out here, I'm curious.
"And hearing of your adventures with your friends the Cutie Mark Crusaders fills me with glee at the adventures you get yourselves into."
Sure, your sentence structure is mysterious in its own right, but "fills me with glee"? Why did you shoehorn in that phrase? Are you quoting some song lyrics as inspiration that I don't know about? What really goes on in that head of yours?
4925665
I write what I see/hear. I get a story-like movie in my head [like when you're immersed in a good book and it's like you're really there [well good books]] and I just write it ... that and I've got higher functioning autism. So to me, my sentence structures are completely normal. To lots of editors [kingtiger666 for ex.] and I guess some readers it leaves them confused. Which confuses me since I didn't think it was confusing / weird until it was brought up.
How is that phrase weird btw? She heard tales of Sweetie Belle and her friends [the Cutie Mark Crusaders] from Celestia. Those tales [(mis)adventures /shenanigans] shared by her sister, filled her with glee [since a body can be touched, moved, filled with, or wounded with /by emotions. A person being filled with glee is plausable].
4925858 Okay, I understand your style of writing better now. You're quite good; your autism is a blessing, I think. The only thing to look out for are standard grammatical problems. If you have editors, they're missing quite a bit in my opinion.
Luna being filled with glee is as plausible as it is wonderful. It was just the millionth unusual phrase I've seen and I figured I would say something.
I love that your style is so different from anything I've seen before.
4925858 interesting, this is the first time i see someone who has the same writing technique I do. pretty much why i like to call myself a chronicler rather than a writer since i really only write down what plays out in my head.
I wonder if this is a rare thing though, since normally i don't hear many authors claiming to do the same .
Now, and i hope this isn't to personal, i wonder if you can tell me how your autism influences your writing. I just find it interesting that we seem to have such a similar style, despite our difference in that regard .
4942897 Yes, you're not the first person to have creative phenomena playing out in your head. Don't you think it's possible that your brain can just make those stories up? Your brain could be running an algorithm for good storytelling behind the scenes, using equations to judge what a good story is before getting anyone's reaction. It's like a subconscious program trying to behave mysteriously beneath the oversight of your rational mind. You needn't really question it any further, lest you go down the path where madness lies.
Conversely, you may be channeling the creative flow from a metaphysical information stream in hyperspace. But let's not believe anything lest we fall into the trap of disbelieving its opposite, yes? Believe nothing and yet leave nothing disbelieved. That is the true state of wisdom: admitting ignorance. We can't know how the brain works until it's reverse engineered several decades from now.
Ack, grammar natzi is kicking me and those dink and derpy switches.
N E way xD.
Seems like it's castle fun time and stalkers abound!
What a delightful malapropism. Really enjoying this reread.