- Member Since 5th Aug, 2012
- offline last seen March 8th
Songbrony
I'm a brony. That's about it. Write when I'm bored or have a REALLY good idea that just won't leave me alone.
Songbrony
Joined 5th Aug, 2012 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- SweetCelestiaWhy · 1000 words · 192 43 · 7.2k views
- baronessbyron · 4.8k words · 43 4 · 767 views
- avalon487 · 1.9k words · 51 7 · 1.6k views
- scribe-feather · 8.9k words · 33 7 · 1.4k views
- CptBrony · 2.3k words · 73 10 · 2.7k views
- The Mad Clopper · 1000 words · 120 29 · 4.6k views
- A Hoof-ful of Dust · 3.2k words · 91 12 · 2.2k views
- IDigAPony · 34k words · 58 14 · 1.4k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.116 seconds
Total duration
973 users online
430,958 hits today, 1,996,409 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Why?!
Nevermind... I understand.
Exquisite work, by the way. Your good at this.
A.K. Unless, in this world, she has a different name.
Cute scene, though.
Hawt!
Not
Well Im not going to bother reading it then
The author prelude was kind of humorous -Not a clopper not a clopper -. Neither am I but they're still worth reading if they're good. Thanks for not using the staid "pleasure and pain" nonsense that's in way too many fics.
The only gripes are that the "ahh"s get repetitive towards the end, and the "oh my gods" do the same. I recommend varying the noises more (Ohh, Mmhmm, etc., any onomatopeoiea of moans or light grunts), and, of course, replacing "gods" with Celestia or maybe even mixing in some Luna (Dependent on the character). The longer names also give opportunity to cut it short if interrupted by a particularly strong pulse of feeling and still understand what the word would have been. Though I'm not into assplay, Twilight does seem the type that would experiment with herself earlier, so it makes sense she would have tried it before.
All in all, you're ready to put a scene like this into a fic. Just keep their fetishes and limits to what you think their characters would enjoy and it'll surpass the majority of dedicated clop easily. Though perhaps you should keep this one out there, just with a warning that it's not your usual.
The next morning Spike makes breakfast in bed.
I put it on PasteBin, since SongBrony was going to delete it. It is too good to delete.
http://pastebin.com/xGBsy9ym
~Crystalline Electrostatic~
Yes exceptional work as a reader who likes stories of kinds including but not limited to clopfics. I say this is good work sir and though I regret you will delete it I do understand your decision.
So now I will be watching you closely
I don't know why ya said this would be yer only clop matey. ye be damn good at writing them
>writes clop and posts it
>"I am not a clopper srsly"
...And Spike comes home later after
buckinghelping Rarity, slips on the puddle of Twi-cum on the floor, and falls right onto Twilights naked body with his head buried between her breasts.I don't know why this scenario occured to me, it just did.
Then why bother posting it then.
I say keep it for what it is, i's good and since you said this was just a one time thing i doubt that you will be known for clopfics.
you get a 8/10 from me.
~Tobben
As a general rule, stories are often dragged down by poorly written sex scenes so I'd suggest to avoid them unless you specifically want to write erotica/porn/etc.
4782649 well the way I plan to write it is as a way to bring two characters closer. Like in their relationship. It's still up in the air though as to how I plan to write it, so we'll see
4782694 My experience with writing sex scenes, is that they tend to either be a central piece of the story, or a fun extra. So unless the actual act is important to your story, you can probably go with the soap opera cut, where they get all but naked and then it jump cuts to the after effects or the next morning. True, the sex might be necessary for the characters to become closer, but are the detailed descriptions necessary to the completion of the story? Because most people are aware of what they're going to get up to once the doors close, but either don't need a road map, or are too young to be reading that sort of thing anyway.
Ask yourself, do I NEED this sex scene? Or is it something that can be included out of order as a bonus chapter without damaging the flow of the story?
Of course, ultimately it's your story and your choice to include it, this is just my experience and overly inflated opinion.
As for this one, I'd say leave it up, if only to be able to point back and say: There, I did write that, and it was so good I don't ever have to write it again.
4785867 alright I see what you mean. It's still up as to how it gets written but I know that some of it will be important. No way in all hell am I going this detailed in my next story, but slight little...innuendos I guess? Idk again more details into that story will be figured out later
4786604 I know not everyone is a fan of the Winningverse, but the original story had a god thing. All the lead up and then it cut off at the point you knew where it was going. IE And then we banged.
Innuendo is fun if you can do it. I can't so I don't even try.
4786604 If you want an example of where sex-scenes are important to the development of the characters and their relationship, read 'An Alternate Path' by Rhino, as it is the best example of where the sex-scenes are necessary. He always marked where the sex-scenes start and end in the chapters (which does break the immersion a bit, but wasn't unwelcome if you wanted to scroll passed it, even if you would be missing some key dialogue), but he didn't write clop if you understand what I mean. Actually there was at least one scene that was cut short by one of the characters because they objected to some aspect of what was happening, if you need an example of where it isn't just 'clop'.
~Crystalline Electrostatic~
Really well-written; however, I suggest not repeating one word so many times. Also, "off" has two Fs. Other than that, great job.
4806908
what word did he repeat? was it she or?......