• Member Since 25th Jul, 2014
  • offline last seen Apr 9th, 2020

SkyFall229


T

At the start of a new school year everything is right in ponyville. But Apple Bloom thinks something is up.
Everypony is acting like they are in a trance and Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle have vanished.
Despite her calls for help, Apple Bloom is on her own to find out whats going on.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 9 )

I echo the other comment. Simply... impossibly bad.

The very structure needs the touch of an editor. The voices are very bland and indistinct. OOC doesn't even begin to describe things, even accepting the contrivance needed for Cheerilee's character. No mention is made of how thenother children were affected, to say nothing of the town. Twilight's OCD attention to detail should have detected the magic shift. If Cheerilee is more powerful than Celestia et al. then that needs an explanation.

There's a difference between mysterious and simply sloppy. This is sloppy, as there is no scaffolded sensibility to it. No framework makes this sound sensible or probable.

0 out of 100, unless it's a trollfic, then it gets a negative number.

At the start of a new school year everything is right in ponyville.

Everypony is acting like they are in a trance and Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle have vanished.

Yup. Totally normal.

4772217
I know it's not the best story but i kind of lost interest in writing it. :pinkiecrazy:

4781982
Oh it's fine I totaly understand :twilightsmile:

4781975

I kinda got a little upset since everyone kinda hated the story :twilightblush: LOL Hey, this may sound a bit weird but do you want to be buddies?

Login or register to comment