Fluttershy Attempts To Mow Her Lawn

Mowing your lawn is dangerous to the small animals the reside in the protection of grass and dirt. Fatalities are a given.

Fluttershy doesn't take this very well.

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Comments ( 23 )

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Infinite Evil

Infinite Evil #1 · Jul 19th, 2014 · 2 · ·

This whole fic:

projecthomecoming.net/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/Boy1.jpg

NoteStretch

NoteStretch #2 · Jul 19th, 2014 · 2 · 1 ·

I forgot to say, mad props to my proof reader and editor Famous Last Words. Check him out please he's a very talented writer and I reccomend you read his story: Heart Invasion 101

Biker_Dash

Biker_Dash #3 · Jul 19th, 2014 · · 1 ·

I think I shattered three ribs and dislocated my spleen, I was laughing so hard, reading this!

NoteStretch

NoteStretch #4 · Jul 19th, 2014 · · 1 ·

4717384 thanks <3

Biker_Dash

Biker_Dash #5 · Jul 19th, 2014 · · 1 ·

4717523 I shared the link too, to try to get more readers to take a look

NoteStretch

NoteStretch #6 · Jul 19th, 2014 · · 1 ·

4717528 Thanks <3

RagingPonyRider

RagingPonyRider #7 · Jul 19th, 2014 · 1 · 1 ·

Jeez, this is something out of a MadTV skit. Well done!
Also, this is me just being nitpicky:

The scream then confused the bats in the front because of its high-pitched frequency, and they thought their echolocation was revealing a wall so they hovered for a second

Fruit bats (real ones, anyways) don't use echolocation.
nikinutritionblog.files.wordpress.com/2014/06/themoreyouknow.jpg

NoteStretch

NoteStretch #8 · Jul 19th, 2014 · · ·

4717749 thanks I just assumed they all use echolocation

Feather Note

Feather Note #9 · Jul 19th, 2014 · 1 · 1 ·

"I now see why you enjoyed your job so much, you sick bastard! Your services are no longer needed!"]

... Poor, poor Fluttershy... I can't believe what she went through, but that message at the end was just so hilarious! Other than that, I didn't see too many errors.

while he was out he found a mare at DJ PON-3 and Bad Baby Dragon concert.

Capitalization error here.

"... So all I have to do is put my snout into mowers patent pending Snout Holder, so I can keep my snout in easily and comfortably while I mow, than push and go huh? Oh what's this?"

Just a spacing error here.

Three months later...

Needs to be in bold letters, and maybe italics... but that's just me.

All in all, I'd have to say you did an excellent job on you're first story (Or rather one-shot story). Although there were a few minor errors, two having to do with being too spaced apart while one was capitalization you did a superb job. But don't worry, everypony doesn't exactly start off on a high note.