I enjoy writing a a lot and enjoy giving people something new to read.
This story is a sequel to Octavia
Octavia lost her chance in the Canterlot Fair, so she leaves to clear her mind. She is able to enjoy herself when she leaves, but now she can't go back. Not yet. She finds a new place that she has vaguely heard of. A town with a certain pony she had seen at the Royal Wedding.
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Yay another tavi story
Cant wait for the next chapter
you put "How might you be" be instead of "who might you be"
4725067 Fixed.
4725133 cool X3
I'm liking it so far, though I did notice a few small errors:
Unless Lady Gaga has made the dimensional jump, you missed an "r"
Recent has a "c" not an "s"
I have a feeling that should be "like"
One more thing, try to work on your pacing, It'll help flesh out the story and make the characters seem less two dimensional (it also gives us more to enjoy
)
Who is Vinyl talking to here??? Hate to sound like a nag, but a pre-reader would help loads
4727954 I was actually trying to make it like Whinnie the Pooh that the narrator help for a second then went back to telling the story, since Vinyl was drunk.
4729108
Oh, OK I guess it makes sense now... Though without first establishing that there is a narrator it is still a bit confusing. If you do decide to do something like that again having it in a different type and having vinyl react to the random omnipresent voice might help
Lol I thought she walked into Octavias room
And octavia said hahaha
In the first paragraph you started six sentences in a row with "She ...". Try using connecting words like then, afterwards or following that. Right now it reads very repetitively. If this was a conscious writing choice, why did you use it here?
I like the benevolent narrator. The pace feels to fast, but i look forward to the next chapter.
Also. Why is there an empty Author's Note?
4741986 Thanks for the comment, really appreciated it. Sorry, the author's note wasn't supposed to be there, and I will get it fixed. Thanks!
I like this it's a different scenario than usual. it's good to change it up once in awhile. Hope it updates soon.
Uh Oh Pinkie and tavi this can't be good.
Can't wait for the next part XD
Like the story. Just one question is Octavia's last name really Philharmonica?
5188666 There are two different ones. Philharmonica and Melody are the two that most are aware of. But it is not really stated that is officially her last name. Hope that answers your question
Anyone else think it's a bit funny how Vinyl doesn't question at all that there is a narrator.
Liked this chapter especially the end. I found a few grammar errors like "science" instead of "silence" and "of" instead of "off".
Awesome chapter. I wish I could really see Vinyl perform, but I guess since I can't I'll stick to my imagination. I think Pinkie is probably going to throw Octavia a party.
5189850 Thanks for your feedback! I will get those mistakes fixed. About the future Chapter 6, there will be, let's say, something very Pinkie related. Anyways, thats all there is for now. Thanks!