15 year old girl depressed, suicidal and a huge gigantic nerd.
pinkie pie failed at being a party pony at a young age so she stayed at the rock farm but has to go back to pony villi to earn money for the farm.cheese sandwich became ponyville's party pony and takes on his most difficult challenge, getting pinkie to be his friend.
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I'm not trying to be mean by any regards, but when I first saw this, my first reaction was, "Such text walls." And it's by no means a terrible story, but there are a few mistakes here and there that could do with some glossing over. All in all, I'd say this is a fine start for a first story, but you could work on your spelling, capitalization and adjust the length of your paragraphs.
And if you would like to diminish the factor of someone having the same first reaction as me, you could also place in an extra space between paragraphs to make it that much easier to discern breaks. I wish you luck in the writing of this and I'll definitely keep my eye on it and offer advice when I can
Ummm wait is her cutie mark the same???? Other than thatni love the story cant wait for more!
That sounds like an amazing premise. Let's see if you delivered.
its a great story so far but you could use an editor and a prereader to help with paragraph structure and misspelled words like Sylpheed Dashstep said, if you would like i could help you with the story
4738203
I appreciate the offer, but I just got a new a new editor and I think the next chapters are going to be much better.
Thanks
4739520 alright but before you put out those chapters have your editor revise the first chapter, fix some of the mistakes. And if your ever in need of a prereader I'm always here to help out, just ask.
4739531
She's doing that right now and thanks