Once Upon a Time
Rainbow Dash groaned as she forced herself to open her eyes. The mare sat up and struggled to take in her surroundings: a bare room, devoid of paint, rugs and other decorations. Sunlight streamed in through the only window, barely illuminating the room. The mare looked down at the rough, course sheets of her bed and lumpy pillow. Dash sighed, as realization sunk it.
“I’m at Berry’s.” the mare collapsed face first into the rough pillow, “Again.”
Dash remained motionless, trying to focus her thoughts through her hazy hangover. After some time, the mare rolled off the bed, landing on her hooves with a wince.
“Dammit, how much did I drink?”
The mare half shuffled, half staggered out of the room, nearly bumping into the doorway. Dash squinted as she made her way down the hallway, sunlight nearly blinding her. She finally made her way into the bar room, nearly knocking over one of the barstools in her attempts to sit on one. Next to her, a brown earth stallion slumped over on his seat, his face flat against the bartop.
“…You’re still here?” Dash groaned.
“Please don’t talk,” the stallion replied, his voice muffled and distorted from speaking into the wood, “my head feels like it’s going to explode.”
Berry slammed a bottle of gin onto the countertop, forcing the stallion to raise his head.
“You didn’t have to do that.” Time Turner groaned as he rubbed his temples.
“It woke you up, didn’t it?”
The bartender plopped two shot glasses onto the table and trotted off.
“What did we drink last night?” Dash asked.
“…Might have been ‘The Four Horses and Tartarus follows’.” Turner grunted.
“That’s the one with three different whiskeys and rum, right?”
“No, that’s ‘The Four Horses go to sea’,” The stallion paused in thought, “…You only said three whiskeys, how can it be ‘Four Horses’ if there’s only three liquors?”
“Doesn’t the rum replace one of them?”
Time Turner’s response was cut off as Berry returned carrying several bottles and two eggs. The barmare slammed the bottles onto the table, causing the hungover ponies to wince.
“You gonna stay awake now or what?” Berry asked as she cracked the eggs into each glass. The mare unscrewed the top of one of the bottles and dumped a clumped-up brown sauce onto the eggs, followed by a dash of pepper and salt. The mare popped the top of the hot sauce bottle and doused the concoction in generous amount of the sauce.
“Isn’t that a little too much?” Dash grunted, “Usually you don’t put as much.”
“You ended up having a drinking contest with Trottingham Carriage Bombs.” Berry replied as she topped off both cups with gin. The mare pushed the two cups towards the hungover ponies.
“I don’t mind the two of you going out on ‘let’s get drunk’ dates, but please think of your livers,” Berry continued on as the two downed their concoctions. The two wiped away the remains of the drink from their lips before continuing on.
“We’re not dating”. The two responded as they slammed the cups down onto the countertop.
“You show up here twice a week, you drink until you pass out, and you two enjoy it,” Berry paused, “If that’s not a date, I don’t know what is.”
“Berry, just because that’s how you met your husband, it doesn’t mean that it applies to everyone.” Time Turner rubbed his head, “I need a full Shire breakfast…”
“On it. You want one too, Dash?”
“Yeah yeah…” Dash waved the bartender off.
Berry shrugged and trotted off, “You guys need to pay your tabs soon. They’re getting pretty ridiculous.”
“It’s still under five hundred, isn’t it?” Dash called out. Rather than responding, Berry flicked on her stove and tossed something into a greased pan. The sound and smell of sizzling eggs and other foods began to fill the empty bar as Time Turner looked at Dash.
“…We’re just friends, right?”
“…I think so?” Dash shrugged, “I mean, you spend all that time with Ditzy, so…”
“What?” Time Turner blinked, confused. “Oh, right, Ditzy.”
“I mean… right?” Dash stuttered, “At least that’s what folks sa-”
Dash was cut off as Berry placed two plates on the table. Each plate was loaded with fried eggs, fried eggplant, fried zucchini, fried green tomatoes, a pile of sautéed onions and mushrooms, and a handful of fried diced potatoes.
“You guys can say whatever you want,” Berry shrugged, “Now eat your breakfast and go to work.”
---
Dash stumbled through the doorway, and staggered toward the front desk. The pony at the desk, a pale yellow pegasus, frowned.
“Hey Raindrops,” Dash flashed a still-groggy, forced smile, “Sorry I’m late, I-”
“You have tomato between your teeth,” Raindrops replied, “Mirror’s over there and we got Cloudchaser to fill in your shift.”
“Seriously?”
“You were supposed to start at five.” Raindrops returned to her paperwork, “It’s eight-twenty.”
“Well is there something I can do?”
“We already spoke to Fog Gun about it, Everyone’s got it covered. You’ve just going to have to give up your day off next week.”
“Oh come on!” Dash groaned, “This is only the third time it’s happened!”
“Other ponies got their own plans,” Raindrops shrugged, “Stop drinking all night with your coltfriend.”
“He’s not…”
Dash’s rebuttal was cut off as a door creaked open. An elderly, dirty grey pegasus stuck her head out of the room and noticed Dash.
“Oh. So glad you joined us today, Rainbow Dash,” the mare smiled, “I assume Raindrops has already informed you of your schedule change, yes?”
“…Right.”
“And you know that we will not tolerate this sort of thing becoming a regular event.”
“It’s only the third time!” Dash protested.
“In two months,” Fog Gun shook her head, “Look, I don’t mind you going out to spend time with your coltfriend, but could you two do something other than drink until you pass out?
You’re a good worker, Dash. I would honestly hate to fire you over something like this.”
“He’s not my coltfriend.”
“Your drinking buddy then,” Fog Gun shrugged, “just take the rest of the day off, and report back bright and early tomorrow.”
Fog Gun’s head vanished into the office, and the door slammed shut. Raindrops looked up.
“Look, Dash…I think you should follow the boss’s advice. I heard it through the grapevine that Soarin was seen in town, wh-”
“Yeah, I know,” Dash sighed, “Alright, later.”
The pegasus sighed and trotted out the door. Dash continued her way down the street, lost in her thoughts.
“Well now what? I don’t feel like eating after all that….I g-”
Dash bumped into someone, smacking her head against their body.
“OW! Sorry, sorry…” Dash scrunched her eyes as she rubbed her head, “Ow, headaches still there.”
“Sorry ‘bout that Dash.” A rough, accented voice apologized.
Dash opened her eyes, revealing a slightly embarrassed Big Macintosh.
“Sorry big guy, lost in my thoughts.” Dash apologized.
“It’s fine,” Mac shrugged, “Happens to everyone.”
“Yeah… yeah.”
“ ‘Course I reckon bein’ hungover ain’t exactly helpin’.” Mac chuckled.
“…Do I reek of alcohol or what?” Dash sniffed one of her wings.
“No, but Chaser got called in t’ work today,” Mac continued on, “We were suppose to have a nice breakfast this mornin’ but she got called into work early.”
“…Oh, so you found out, huh?” Dash blushed.
“Eeyup. But she didn’t mind too much.” Mac paused, “ ‘Course this means that we had t’ cancel, but that’s fine. I promised her that I’d make lunch.”
“…Hey, do you know if Rarity’s here?”
“Miss Rarity?” Mac scratched his chin in thought, “I reckon so, bu-”
A rainbow blur whizzed by him as the stallion finished his sentence.
“-t I reckon her coltfriend might still be there….” Mac trailed off as the pegasus flew out of view.
“…Well she like them Wonderbolts, so I suppose everything’ll work out in the end.”
---
Dash skidded to a stop in front of the Carousel Boutique. The mare trotted up towards the door and paused.
“…Well, here goes nothing.”
Dash’s hoof went up and as she prepared to knock on the door, it suddenly opened. Soarin stepped into the doorway, still looking behind him. Dash’s eyes widened in surprise and she froze in place.
“So it’s settled then,” the stallion chuckled, “Thursday. My treat.”
“Alright then, I’ll be waiting for you.” Rarity practically sang out, “Until then.”
Soarin chuckled as he continued out the door, still ignorant of Dash’s presence. As he turned his head, he managed to smack his nose into Dash’s outstretched hoof.
“Ow!”
Rarity trotted into view, “Soarin? What’s…” the fashionista trailed off as she saw the scene in front of her.
“Rainbow Dash! What are you doing?”
Dash snapped back into reality, “Ohmygosh,I’msosorry! Areyoualri-”
“I’m fine, I’m fine.” Soarin rubbed his nose, chuckling, “Not the worst thing that’s happened to me. Anyway, see you two later.”
With that, the Wonderbolt took to the air and easily zipped away. Rarity continued forward until she was finally face to face with Dash.
“Put your hoof down, it’s rather unlady like.” Rarity ordered.
“What?” Dash blinked, looking down at the offending foot, “Oh.”
“Well, I suppose you can come in,” Rarity turned around and started back into the room. Dash followed her in, closing the door behind her.
“So what can I do for you today?” Rarity asked.
“I… well…” Dash stumbled over the words, “I want to apologize for last night.”
Rarity paused, “Which part, the dinner disaster or the part where you tried to rope Soarin into singing ‘Mama Told Me Not To Come’?”
“I did what?”
“You and Time Turner kept singing Thunderball songs, and tried to rope Soarin into singing ‘Mama Told Me Not To Come’ with you.”
“What happened to Time Turner?”
“He passed out after his rendition of ‘Sugar Daddy’.”
“…Berry never mentioned any of that.”
“I think she wanted to save you the embarrassment. The hangover was bad enough, I assume.”
“Yeah…” Dash agreed, “So, anyway, like I was saying earlier, I came to apologize. For, you know, accidently knocking pasta onto your head.”
The corner of Rarity’s eye twitched as she flashed a forced, obviously faked smile at the pegasus, “Well, I suppose it’s forgivable, given the… circumstances.”
“When were you gonna tell us that you were dating Soarin anyway? And how did you meet?”
“…We were going to tell you when it became clear that you all would not go crazy about it,” Rarity paused, “So probably much, much later.”
“…Seriously?” Dash cocked an eyebrow, “You really think you could hide something like this from Pinkie?”
“Provided that I make a valiant effort and do not inform either Twilight or you… yes, I did.
But now you know, and I do hope you will keep your mouth shut.”
“Sure, sure. I can do it.” Dash stifled a smile. With that answer, Rarity cocked an eyebrow.
“Really?”
“Promise.”
“Well then…” Rarity’s grin turned predatory, “Since you’re here and trying to apologize, you can help me out.”
Dash flinched.
“I need a nice athletic model…”
“…Wait, before you start trying to mummify me, I need to ask for advice.” Dash held up a hoof.
“Advice on what?”
Dash paused, uncertain how to start her sentence.
“I think I’m in love with Time Turner.”
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And here...we..go.
Excellent, the turnerdash cometh
can't wait 
I really hope this will be handled as realistically as possible, with all the awkwardness that ensues
That's not love. You've still got some gas buildup from all that booze last night.
This seems interesting. I have to see what the other stories say. Great job with this one.
Blooming heck, I don't normally do this (as in comment on stories) but dammit, this is worth it; Love the story, the pairing (Turnerdash, yay!), and everything you wrote really.
4625402
Thanks mate.
And...cue music!
"Aand, cue the ominous music"
'I'll see myself out, trust me that hurt to type given how the guy is now. Still can't wait till i can mount that peacock's head on his precious throne.'