• Member Since 7th Dec, 2013
  • offline last seen Jul 12th, 2014

memphisgurl


huge my little pony fan, female

T

Celestia recounts a memory. One that is terrible, yet beautiful. A flash of light, small sparks, a tiny flame, an eruption of life. A fire means both warmth and comfort as well as fear and pain. Menacing and evil, it can gobble up all that is dear to us in its hunger for destruction. Is that really what it is, though? Is this fire? Do we understand this simple, glowing ball of light? What is fire?

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 5 )

Wow that was awesome!:derpytongue2:

You really are talented! I read this yesterday and did not know it was by you. I'm impressed everytime haha

4585669 Thanks! I'm glad I continue to impress!

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this tiny short story. It was cute. I liked how when people think of the word "fire" the first thought to mind is some sort of destruction or disaster that takes peoples lives, and in this instance the fire, knowing it has a lust to consume and grow. stops itself once it finds the filly. It's an ironic twist on the fires part to save the filly rather than take its life.

One thing that troubled me in this story was the beginning. The beginning, plot wise, is slightly confusing and is hard to relate to the world of Equestria. It would have been nice to see the setting of this story much more described. The description of the story says that Celestia remembers this semi-awful event, but how does Celestia even relate to this event? An idea I thought of was that Celestia was the filly in the fire, --which could be right, in which I missed it in the story-- which sounds interesting but its not really realized until the reader stops and thinks about the story and about Celestia's part in it. Detail can go a long way and I would've loved to see more in the setting.

Another problem I had was with the eighth paragraph in the story. I had to read it a couple times to grasp the concept that the story wasn't switching from 3rd to 1st person, but instead was the fire's thoughts on its own existence. I think there could have been a better way to describe the fire's thoughts instead of just jumping to it.

Don't get me wrong now, I'm no judge or professional writer, I usually do the stuff I just said I didn't like in your story. And if you're still reading this one last thing I didn't like but loved at the same time was the ending. The ending fell together really well for me. Although I didn't like how the fire could speak to the fire-stallions --or whatever you wish to call them.-- I think a better way for the fire to interact with the firemen was for the fire to not interact directly at all. Instead, describing how the firemen slowly put out the fire and fought against it would've been enough interaction to get the point across, at least in my opinion. Especially since the fire already reacted and spoke with the filly, --which could've been Celestia-- and the fact that Celestia controls a big ball of fire in the sky and has a pet phoenix, shows enough symbolic meaning and connection that fire could share with her.

All in all, it was a fun thing to read. The theme and meaning of the story was a little shady and hard to find, but non the less beautiful.

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