Servant of Chaos

The Most Dangerous Group - Contest58 stories ·234 members

A story about a unicorn who is cursed by Discord, master of chaos, with two wings. Now everypony she once called her friends and family sees her as the servant of chaos and rejects her. Surely there is nothing to look forward to in a world that despises your very existance... right?

Written for The Most Dangerous Game - Contest, under the catagory 'An OC Alicorn'.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 7 )

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Comet Burst

Comet Burst #1 · Jun 16th, 2014 · 1 · ·

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Crystal Static

Crystal Static #2 · Jun 16th, 2014 · 1 · ·

4556957 There is a completed tag on it though...

I do agree that it feels more like a prologue than an actual story.

~Crystalline Electrostatic~

PHR

PHR #3 · Jun 17th, 2014 · 3 · ·

That was wonderful, Yukito. I has the happys.

And I can't wait to read what'll happen to Dawn when she gets t—

** story marked "Complete" **

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What?!? But it can't end there! We just met her!

Bronze Statue

Bronze Statue #4 · Jun 17th, 2014 · 3 · ·

Here's hoping the story might possibly continue after the contest is over.

Thi Fernandes

Thi Fernandes #5 · Jun 17th, 2014 · · ·

Um... well, for some reason, this story didn't do it for me. Why? I may have said it in the contest page, but there aren't that many well written OCs. Sorry Yukito, but even... what's her name, Dawn, is not that interesting a character. Knowing the story was told from her perspective, we shouldn't had some form of introducing, what kind of pony Dawn is, what she does for a living. Not just plot progression!

Criticism aside, it wouldn't hurt to rework the story with these suggestions in mind. But hey, if you're gonna go with what you have, you're not gonna get many votes. Especially not from me!

Golden Paw