• Member Since 25th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen 48 minutes ago

Yukito


Trixie and Twilight are best ponies! (Diamond Tiara is best filly :D )

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A story about a unicorn who is cursed by Discord, master of chaos, with two wings. Now everypony she once called her friends and family sees her as the servant of chaos and rejects her. Surely there is nothing to look forward to in a world that despises your very existance... right?

Written for The Most Dangerous Game - Contest, under the catagory 'An OC Alicorn'.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 7 )

4556957 There is a completed tag on it though...

I do agree that it feels more like a prologue than an actual story.

~Crystalline Electrostatic~

PHR

That was wonderful, Yukito. I has the happys.

And I can't wait to read what'll happen to Dawn when she gets t—

** story marked "Complete" **

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What?!? But it can't end there! We just met her!

Here's hoping the story might possibly continue after the contest is over.

Um... well, for some reason, this story didn't do it for me. Why? I may have said it in the contest page, but there aren't that many well written OCs. Sorry Yukito, but even... what's her name, Dawn, is not that interesting a character. Knowing the story was told from her perspective, we shouldn't had some form of introducing, what kind of pony Dawn is, what she does for a living. Not just plot progression!

Criticism aside, it wouldn't hurt to rework the story with these suggestions in mind. But hey, if you're gonna go with what you have, you're not gonna get many votes. Especially not from me!

Nice story, made me feel like their's hope for us all yet! good luck in the comp :twilightsmile:

Well, this hit hard. I have someone to take in for shelter now and some townsfolk to 'educate'... *Cracks knuckles*

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