Nightmare Moon's Tiny Adversary
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Chapter 6
Part 1
A tired party of heroes and heroines lumbered through the dangerous forest back to Ponyville, led by an equally weary princess. Celestia spared the occasional glance behind her to ensure none of Twilight's friends had wandered off and that Steel Blade was keeping up his tired trudge at her side. Overwatch was draped over his back and maintaining a levitation spell over a few guards, though the strain seemed to be telling from the constant rubbing of her temples she had begun a little while ago. Twilight had the best of the situation, as she was nestled into the hollow behind Celestia's neck and covered in flowing mane, but even though she only weighed as much as a few acorns, she still felt like an anvil to Celestia's guilty conscience.
It seemed to be ages later before they finally encountered another friendly face. Shining Armor and a few of the relatively uninjured guards had been searching for wounded and unconscious soldiers to return to Ponyville before he found them. He and his subordinates joined the returning party, and he explained that though a majority of Equestria’s elite had sustained numerous injuries, there had not been a single death, much to the surprise of Celestia, who snuck a grateful sideways glance at Luna.
The sun princess didn’t hesitate to update Shining Armor on recent events, and the Elements were handed over to the Captain of the Guard at her request for safekeeping. Shining Armor had requested to see his little sister, and were it not for the fact that Twilight was still sound asleep on the princess’s back, he would’ve immediately swept her up and hugged the stuffing out of her, all the while chewing her out for her reckless behavior. With nothing much else to do, he sent one of the pegasi scouts to inform the mayor of Ponyville about the arrival of very important, tired, and injured guests, as well as to explain the events that had taken place that night.
When the tired group finally arrived in Ponyville, they were met by a small escort party that Mayor Mare had been able to gather with the brief amount of warning she had been given. Silently, they guided their princess to the ruined Town Hall, most of the tired townsponies unable to do much more than just stare in disbelief at the battered alicorn.
The princess' golden regalia were missing from her sore hooves and wounded neck, and loose feathers stuck up in all directions from her disheveled wings. Some of the feathers were just bent, while others were charred and scorched. Several broad gaps showed where entire sections were completely gone. Still, despite the state of their princess, other townsponies turned their attention to the smaller, midnight blue alicorn who trudged along at Celestia's side, seemingly torn between curiosity and fear. A few even rubbed their eyes in disbelief, as if to clear up any hallucinations caused by sleep deprivation.
“Y-your Highness,” a braver male citizen ventured, his attention focused upon the solar princess’s glowing horn.
Celestia turned to him with a weary smile, the bags under her eyes showing an exhaustion that her demeanor didn’t. “Yes, my little pony?” she asked, resisting the urge to yawn. Her sore legs trembled almost imperceptibly under the heavy pressure weighing on her.
“Umm…” he started, rubbing the back of his neck uncomfortably before pointing a hoof above the princess’s head. Celestia looked up at the flying group of levitated guards behind her before turning back at him, her smile never leaving her face.
“N-no disrespect to your power, Princess,” he continued, “but would you let me err… us… carry some of your guards?”
Celestia chuckled lightly, shaking her head, “There is no need for that, my little pony. I am quite capable of carrying them for a few minutes longer until we reach our destination. Besides, I am not alone,” she added, motioning with her head at the pink unicorn with the tri-color mane, whose horn was also lit.
“B-but Your Highness! It is not my place to ask what happened out in the forest, but you're injured! There's no need to strain yourself any further now that you're safe, Your Highness. Let us help you!" The citizen lowered himself into a low bow on the path in front of Celestia. "Please, Princess Celestia.”
“Heeeey,” Overwatch said with a half-hearted wave of her hoof, draped over Steel Blade’s back like a wet rag. “I’ll gladly take some assistance over here. I feel a bit bad saying ‘no’ to somepony’s help when they offer it so readily. You may be able to do a lot of things, Princess, but you’re only stressing them out when you try to do everything yourself. Well, mostly everything.”
Celestia rolled her eyes, a smirk on her muzzle. Oh Twilight, you’re such a bad influence on me. When did I start getting my hooves messy all the time?
The princess levitated two guards over to the helpful citizen. “Thank you for your concern. I will gladly accept any assistance you all wish to offer,” she said, sparing a tired smile towards the rest of the gathered townsponies as they drew closer and offered to carry a guard or two each themselves. However, even after distributing their burden, Celestia and Cadence still carried the majority of the unconscious Royal Guards in their magic. The white alicorn took a moment to wipe a trickle of sweat from her brow before resuming her slow pace through town, relieved that the weight pressing on her had been lessened somewhat.
Mayor Mare and a small crowd of ponies emerged from the Town Hall to greet the princess, but they stopped in their tracks at the display of magical might before them, staring at the legion of levitated guards floating through the air.
The princess strode confidently into the wrecked building, the ponies of Ponyville parting from her path as she made her way to the rows of beds waiting there. Cots, blankets, pillows, and anything that could be described as comfortable were already set up around Town Hall for the arriving group to carefully lay down their burdens down upon, alongside a rough collection of medical equipment and food.
Celestia set down the last of the sleeping guards, and with her horn no longer lit, she turned towards her staring subjects and spoke, her sonorous voice projecting across the crowd. “Greetings, my little ponies. I understand that you are all very confused, but I ask that you please be patient. Many events took place tonight, and it will take time to fully explain everything that happened.
“As much as I would like to share the wonderful news with all of you...” She paused, gesturing to the ponies next to her, several of which were dozing on their hooves, “we are all very tired, and we would be very grateful if we could partake in some of your hospitality. First, however, I believe I should extend recognition to a group of five mares from this town who displayed incredible bravery in assisting my student in this time of need.”
Celestia smiled proudly as she motioned towards Twilight’s group of friends, who, with the exception of Fluttershy, unsteadily waved back at the sudden attention they were getting. She dropped her hoof, dipping her head slightly towards the gathered townsponies as she added, "I hope that my late sunrise will satisfy you all for now.”
Mayor Mare stepped forward and returned the bow quickly before she looked up concernedly at Celestia. “Princess, you’re hurt and tired. I’m sure everypony in Equestria wouldn’t mind waiting for the sun for a few more hours.”
Celestia chuckled, her expression relaxed as she looked back at Mayor Mare. “I appreciate your concern, but I assure you that I am more than strong enough to perform my duty.” She turned to her sister, who had been hiding behind her the entire time, and inadvertently drew the attention of the ponies around her to the blue alicorn filly.
“And who is this, Your Highness?” Mayor Mare asked curiously against the growing murmurs in the crowds.
A small gesture from Celestia quickly silenced them. “There will be time for explanations, my little ponies, but for now, all I ask is for a bit of trust,” she said, to which the growing crowd replied with understanding nods. The princess turned her head towards Luna again, placing a hoof on the smaller alicorn’s shoulder. “Would you like to assist me, sister?”
The residents of Ponyville stood stunned at the word ‘sister,’ but they said nothing, watching as the small midnight blue alicorn with the crescent moon cutie mark stared at their ruler and stammered, “We… we do not feel strong enough to lower the moon just yet, sister, but we can still assist. Even now, we find it hard to believe that thou hast managed to move it every single night during my banishment.”
Celestia gave her sister a warm smile before she trotted outside and ascended into the air, Luna following close after, and the townsponies were finally able to watch as the pinnacle of the Summer Sun Celebration came to pass. Princess Celestia’s power radiated over the crowd as if the events of the past night had never transpired, and the sun slowly rose from its resting place with a note of finality.
The white alicorn smiled. With the new day came an ending to the night.
An ending to the waiting.
An ending to the heartache.
And a sign of a brighter tomorrow.
Twilight’s blissful and well-deserved nap was interrupted when she felt something prodding her, followed a moment later by a hazy voice. “W..e up sug...ube.”
She let out a loud yawn, stretching out like a cat on the cot she found herself on. Her vision quickly adjusted as she turned to Applejack, who pointed a hoof ahead of her. Twilight turned to where the farm mare was pointing, watching as her giant mentor and far smaller sister flew up into the air, the moon descending at their command.
Twilight smiled and watched as the moon slowly disappeared behind the horizon. Luna gracefully followed suit, descending slowly towards the ground. The tips of her hooves brushed lightly against the grass, and with a few more flaps of her wings, she made an easy, soft landing. It took only a moment before she noticed the crowd that had followed them outside, and the diminutive alicorn quickly tried to hide behind her foreleg.
Almost immediately after the moon made its exit, Twilight felt the strength and energy that had been empowering her the entire evening leave her, and she let out a long yawn. She resisted the urge to flop down and take another nap, clearing her head with a shake. So whatever Nightmare Moon did to me is connected with the moon. Can’t say I didn’t expect this, but it’s something to take note of.
Twilight looked back to her mentor, whose horn was ablaze with a familiar glow. The very sight of the princess performing her duty after such a long, exhausting, and eventful night was inspiring, filling the tiny unicorn with pride.
The sun peeked up from its hiding place, casting its rays over Equestria. Twilight quickly covered her eyes with a foreleg, allowing them to adjust to the sudden brightness before she began to admire the spectacle as she always had for the last thirteen years.
The little mare gave Luna a quick glance. The blue alicorn was still looking to the side, seemingly in refusal to make eye contact with the audience. I hope Luna will be able to provide me with some more information on what Nightmare Moon did after all this is over.
Twilight began searching for her brother and her friends, but the crowd blocked most of her vision. Considering the avalanche of questions that my mentor, my brother, and I bombarded Luna with, especially during the time and energy consuming task of waking up and transporting all those guards, I’m not surprised that she pled for us to wait until we had settled down back in Ponyville before she would answer any of them.
Twilight rubbed her chin thoughtfully. I wonder how many guards she managed to free from Nightmare Moon’s spell after I exhausted my magic and fell asleep. Considering that she managed to wake up one guard about every ten minutes, she should—
Her thoughts were interrupted when everypony around her exploded into applause, causing her to instinctually cover her ears. After taking a moment to regain her orientation and realize that the ceremony had been completed, she joined in, clapping her tiny hooves as hard as they were worth.
In retrospect, her applause was perhaps directed more towards Luna rather than her mentor.
Most of Town Hall was packed with Royal Guards, and at least half of them were still sleeping. Among their lines, ponies and nurses tended to those wounded in combat. A small section of the space, however, was prepared more comfortably for Celestia and her company, who were given the best and most comfortable beds the ponies of Ponyville could find in their haste. The Princess of the Sun had initially expressed a few reservations in accepting their offering, but after seeing how much effort they had put forth, she gracefully accepted.
Celestia had perched herself comfortably across two beds, gesturing next to herself with a hoof and saying, “Come and rest next to me, Luna. It’s been such a long time.” Celestia attempted her best impression of Twilight’s puppy dog eyes, but the smaller princess did not share her enthusiasm.
“We would… rather not,” Luna replied somewhat sternly, pulling over a separate bed. “We have not forgiven thee yet, and besides, we—”
She jumped when a rather tall pink unicorn suddenly popped up in between her and her sister. “C-Cadence, dost thou wish for anything from us?”
The pink unicorn smiled in response. “I sure do!” she said with a chuckle. “Your sister wasn’t the only pony waiting for your return, Auntie Luna. We have a lot of catching up to do!”
Before Luna could say a word, Cadence grabbed her hoof and swiftly carried her away, the smaller pony exiting the Town Hall in a jumble of hooves. The blue alicorn eventually freed herself from Cadence’s grip, stumbling for a short distance before she finally found her balance again. “If thou wishest to speak with us in private, thou couldst simply ask,” Luna said, rolling her eyes.
Cadence simply shot her a smirk before she continued walking, and Luna let out a sigh as she quickened her pace to catch up with her foalnapper. “Furthermore,” the small blue alicorn continued, “Lun—I mean I… we swore to our sister and our savior that we would answer their questions once the guards had been transported to the safety of this village. We do not feel right in delaying this fulfillment of our promise.”
The pink unicorn involuntarily let out a giggle before she caught the questioning glance from Luna. “Oh, my apologies! You sounded a bit funny when you were figuring out which pronoun to use, but I shouldn’t be laughing at you when you’re only trying to get used to today’s vernacular. As for your promise, there’ll be time for that. Surely, feeding you after your long banishment takes much greater priority!” Cadence said, leading the way towards a nearby restaurant.
The disguised alicorn’s horn lit up as they approached, surrounding her little companion in a light blue aura only briefly before she finished her spell. Luna blinked, shooting another questioning glance at Cadence before turning to look over herself. Her wings were still attached on her sides, and she still felt her horn on her head. It didn’t seem like there was anything out of the ordinary.
When they arrived, her niece hopped into a seat at one of the more secluded mushroom tables there and gestured with a hoof in invitation at the other side. Luna looked back at the disguised alicorn, her brow furrowed as she tried to figure out what Cadence had done. She opened her mouth to speak, but her old friend was faster.
“I used an illusion spell, Luna,” Cadence stated with a chuckle, “You can still feel and use your horn, but to everypony else, you’ll look just like a pegasus.” She lifted her hoof towards the waiter. “Excuse me!”
An elegantly clothed unicorn with a mustache trotted over to their table, his notepad and pen levitating in front of him. “Greetings, ladies, and welcome to our humble restaurant. May I take your order?”
Cadence smiled innocently at him as Luna cautiously slipped into the proffered chair. “Two hay sandwiches, a vegetable salad, and two glasses of water, please,” she said cheerfully. The waiter nodded, looking between her and the blue pegasus before walking away.
Luna had been sitting in silence when Cadence quickly turned to her again, the pink unicorn’s grin giving way to a more serious expression as she leaned in towards her companion. “I know that as alicorns, we can live purely off of magic, but I cannot even imagine how hard it had to have been not to feel food in your mouth for a thousand years!” Cadence said with concern. She suddenly gasped, putting her hooves over her mouth. “How did you live without a single drop of cold water for so long? It must have been terrible!”
Luna considered Cadence’s words for just a moment before she shook her head, waving her hoof in dismissal. “‘Tis not so bad. It was a bit hard for first few years to adapt, but after a while, we stopped feeling hunger and thirst. Water and food were luxuries we could live without,” she said tersely.
It wasn’t long before the waiter levitated their food and glasses of water onto the table. “Bon appetit,” he said with a bow, before he departed to check up on a few other tables.
Luna eyed her food suspiciously, as if she had never seen a hay sandwich before, which in a sense was quite true. She certainly hadn’t seen one like this before, in any case. The night princess began to levitate the food up, but Cadence pressed it back onto the plate with a hoof. “Illusion spell. Remember, you need to act like a pegasus for now.”
Luna let out a huff, but she switched to using her forelegs to grab the sandwich and raise it in front of her face. She appraised it for a moment longer, looking curiously at it before she made up her mind to try it out.
However, the moment she opened her mouth to take the first small bite, Cadence’s hoof shot out, pushing the sandwich into her mouth before she could react. Luna made an indignant noise through her full mouth, flailing a hoof angrily at the alicorn across from her.
The pink unicorn snickered. “Ah ah ahhh. You should know better than to speak with your mouth full, my little pony.”
Luna scowled at her niece, but begrudgingly began to chew. Her first bite was slow, but the following ones quickly gained momentum.
Cadence could’ve sworn that she saw stars in Luna’s eyes, similar to those that were now appearing in her blue mane as the small princess delighted in every bite before straight up swallowing the entire sandwich. Before Cadence could react, Luna had climbed up onto the mushroom table, reaching over to snatch up the other sandwich as well before instantly devouring it. The glass of water was next, going down in less than a second before Luna plonked it solidly back down onto the table with a satisfied sigh.
Cadence looked at the display with a smirk, failing to completely contain her laughter at the sight of a pony barely larger than a filly gorging on so much food. “Well,” she said, swirling her glass of water around in her magic and levitating over the salad as a replacement for the food lost to Luna’s appetite. “I take it that you enjoyed my welcoming gift.”
Luna jumped up joyfully in her seat with a squeal before lunging up onto the table itself to grab both the salad and the other glass of water, causing the pink unicorn to fall onto her back in surprise. Cadence stared at the smaller pegasus, whose wide eyes had started to produce tears of delight.
Luna finished the salad quickly, and Cadence let out a little yelp when the blue filly leaned over the side of the table to look at her with thin, draconic pupils. “Oh, that was most delicious!”
The pupils soon returned to normal, and a visible blush appeared on Luna’s cheeks. She raised her head proudly and cleared her throat before she spoke, “We find thy gift to be more than satisfactory. If thou wouldst consider celebrating thine achievement by pleasing thy princess further, we would suggest expanding this feast in celebration of our rightful return!” She straightened her foreleg to Cadence, helping her stand before returning to her own seat.
Despite her best efforts to restrain her emotions, saliva started to drip from Luna's mouth as she looked back at Cadence, her draconic pupils once again visible. "I... we are very thankful for all you've done for us, so..."
Luna tapped her hooves together eagerly, looking at Cadence in pleading as she licked her lips hungrily. "Wilt thou provide us with more of this food? Please?”
“For the last time, I’m fine!” Twilight said, a frown on her face as she tried to shoo away the pony called Nurse Redheart from carefully examining the bite marks on her tiny body. She tried to point at the wounded guards on the cots around them, saying, “They need your help waaay more than I do.”
Nurse Redheart frowned. “Now listen here, little missy, I couldn’t care less why you’re so small or why you went into the Everfree Forest in the first place, but I can’t turn around and leave you without medical assistance after you’ve been bit by an animal.”
“Manticore.”
Nurse Redheart’s brow furrowed. “Excuse me?”
“I got bit by a manticore,” Twilight said simply. “It tried to eat me, but I set up a barrier around myself before his teeth did any serious injury, so there’s no need to—”
The tiny mare was suddenly upended by the nurse, who had become markedly more frantic in examining her for injuries. “H-how can you be so calm?” the nurse nearly shrieked, whipping a box of emergency medical supplies out from nowhere as Twilight climbed onto the white pony’s free forehoof and sat on it. “You almost get eaten alive by a manticore, and you’re acting like it’s nothing? I’d be a terrified wreck if something like that happened to me! I still remember the last time somepony got attacked by a manticore, and she was all but incoherent when she flopped out of the Everfree! How can a tiny pony like you end up inside the mouth of that beast and not have a mental breakdown?”
Twilight, noticing the panic on the nurse’s face, decided to just play honest. “Uhhh… well, I guess it was a bit scary. I was really afraid for a while, but I got over it quickly once my new friend Fluttershy came and rescued me. Besides, I’ve had worse.”
The nurse blinked a few times. “Worse? Worse? You don’t mean that, right? What could be worse than being eaten alive by a manticore?”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “I meant exactly what I said. Being eaten alive by a manticore hasn’t been the worst experience I’ve ever had. I haven’t said anything confusing, have I?” she said innocently. “I’m not new to injury, and I’ve ended up in the hospital in Canterlot quite often.”
Nurse Redheart looked at her suspiciously, taking in a deep breath pausing for a moment before she cautiously ventured, “H-how often?”
“At least twice a week for the past thirteen years. Sometimes more,” Twilight said, before raising a hoof to her chin in thought. “Actually, I think I’ve ended up in the hospital wing over a thousand times by now, give or take. I’m pretty sure they have a whole procedure for whenever I come in for treatment, and even they don’t try to lecture me on staying safe anymore, so please, could you spare me the pointless lecture and leave me and my minor injuries alone so you can focus on helping ponies who really need it?”
Nurse Redheart took a step back, stunned for just a moment, her eye twitching. She cleared her throat and spoke again, “Well, I umm… I suppose I could direct my attention elsewhere, but don’t think I won’t be keeping an eye on you. You may be off the hook for now, but I’ll still have to check up on your injuries sooner or later.”
Twilight did a short celebratory dance. “Thanks! Later then!” she said quickly before leaping off the hoof and running into the crowd.
The medical pony let out a huff. “Before that though,” she said as she turned to find her next patient. “I need to figure out why I don’t have a proper medical history on you from Canterlot.”
***
“Breaking down another nurse, I see,” Shining Armor said, catching his sister’s attention. “You really shouldn’t give your doctors and nurses such a hard time, Twilight. They’re just trying to help.”
Twilight immediately swiveled to face the source of the voice, shouting in glee as she jumped to embrace her brother’s neck. “Shiny! It’s so good to see you! I mean, good to see you again when I’m not being healed or interrogated and you aren’t trying to hunt the Princess of the Night,” she remarked.
Shining Armor returned the hug, his armored hoof pushing Twilight against his neck. “Yeah. We had a heck of a day, Twiny. Or rather, you had a heck of a day. I missed most of the action.”
“It’s alright, Shiny, I’m sure you’ll get your chance to play hero one of these days, saving all of Equestria from some spooky, terrifying threat,” Twilight joked before she gave her brother a challenging look. “First to ten?”
Shining shook his head, smirking as he brought his little sister up to his face. “Twilight, you’ve spent most of the night awake, first getting badly injured by Nightmare Moon, accident or not, then getting chewed on by a manticore after you fled into the Everfree, and then using some ancient artifact to free Princess Luna from her corruption. Not only that, according to Cadence, you also assisted your mentor by levitating at least four unconscious guards on your way back before you finally fell asleep from your exhaustion. After everything today, you still want to hoof wrestle?”
Twilight scoffed, rolling her eyes. “I’m fine. That short nap I had recovered some of my stamina, and I really miss the little wrestling game we had whenever you were about to leave.”
Shining scoffed, a smile on his face. “Another time, Twiny,” he answered. “Listen. I don’t know how you did it, but thanks to you, Princess Luna is free and everypony got out of today safely. I’m so proud of you, little sis.”
Twilight blushed. “Thanks, but if it weren’t for my new friends, I wouldn’t be here today talking with you, let alone wielding the Elements to heal the princess.”
Shining Armor blinked. “Oh, right… there was a manticore, wasn’t there. I’ll have to thank your friends for taking care of you and saving your flank,” he said, before fixing a stern glare at Twilight. “Also, the only reason why I’m not reprimanding you for rushing into that dangerous forest on your own is because you’ve already learned your lesson. That, and those bite marks are punishment enough.”
“Don’t worry, Shiny. From now on, I won’t try to do everything on my own,” Twilight stated before she paused and added hesitantly. ”At least, I’ll try not to.”
10 bits says that last promise of Trying to stay out of trouble... will be stretched pretty hard pretty quickly..... especially during the first season and discord....
This was a pleasant surprise.
5888058
Umm... Maybe
5888112
Plesant surprice, what do you mean by that if I may ask?
One chapter and an epilogue left; I'm a little surprised. I had thought, from the title, that the story would cover more than just Twilight's first day in Ponyville.
Well now we've reached the point where we can relax a bit...
Okay! I'm done, let's get back to the action!
I'll see you at the next chapter.
Can't wait for the rest. Quite happy to hear this isn't it either.
You know, with Twilight having that essence of NMM in a vial, I can't help but wonder if she will spend her free time experimenting on it, trying to bring her back. A sort of year/season long project.
i hope that once this story is finished that it doesnt signal the end of the twiny series lol
So.. After this book is done, will there be more?
I waited for this update soooo long. And all this waiting is finally awarded.
I take it there's going to be another sequel then?
Also:
Just lol
Luna really stole this chapter. Her reaction to finally getting to have food and water again after a thousand years of exile was priceless and adorable! I'm starting to develop a couple of ideas regarding what seems to be going on with Luna. Looking forward to seeing more of that.
Twilight really is just completely incorrigible. I wonder if she's not underestimating Redheart's tenacity, though. Nurse Redheart's reaction as Twilight ran off seems to promise some interesting interactions when she inevitably ends up in the hospital again.
Looking forward to the conclusion of this story, even if it will be a while before we get to enjoy more Twiny after that.
So after this story is finished will you be posting her daily adventures in ponyville (essentially the rest of the show)?
Well, this was a nice surprise to wake up to.
I shall now wait patiently like everypony else for the remaining chapters that I know are going to be awesome.
so i take it that there will be a continuation story after this one finishes?(i will be very sad when it does)
5888132
I thought so too at first, but as this story became longer to expand upon Nightmare Moon's development and her interaction with Twilight, not to mention the aftermatch of Nightmare Moon's defeat. I decided it would be best to leave this as its own story.
Don't worry, I will write a sequel, right now I just don't know how to title it. I can either find a new title for the sequel, or use this title for the sequel and change title of this story, not sure which would be better.
5888405
It sounds like a good idea, but I am not sure if it can work out. Considering how Twilight asked Celestia to bring NIghtmare Moon back, and she didn't respond, it would give Twilight a hint that it is impossible.
I am sure she would run some tests on it from time to time, but to actually attempt to start such project may be too overhelming for her if her mentor can't do it.
5888274
What do you mean?
5888205
Next chapter is very very long, so it may take a lot of time before it will be up and running. Also, we already had a lot of action with Nightmare Moon. This and next chapter focus more on calmer interaction as our heroes try to catch a breath after recent events and get to know each other better.
Hope you will enjoy it regardless.
5888413
Lol, so true.
5888515 5888634
There will be sequel to it, just not sure how to title it.
5888773
Good for you. What part of this chapter you enjoyed the most?
5888882
Cadence is just enjoying teasing Luna a little bit, especially since for the first time, Luna is the smaller alicorn. It is nothing malicious, just a small joke after thousand years of separation.
5889090
Thanks, also, feel free to share those ideas with us in a comment. Go on, don't be -shy
5889090
I hope it is not a bad thing. To be honest, I wasn't sure if Twilight is just unaware that the way she try to convince Nurse Redheart and other doctors that despite her size, she is a tough pony, may come across as mean spirited. Or do she actually purpously mess up with nurses and doctors, like some sort of prank/messing with every new doctor/nurse who encountered her for the first time, and also to make sure that she wouldn't be looked upon as fragile. Or do she is just tired of the way every new doctor/nurse threat her as if she was fragile being, and just go all to skip all "who's our little fragile patient, yes you are, yes you are" kind of stuff.
I just wrote this scene and decided to leave it to readers to decide what were Twilight's motivations when she screwed up with Nurse Redheart in that scene. And yea, they next encounter in a hospital may lead to some interesting interactions.
5889151
I wouldn't want to spoil anything, but I think that it is already obvious that if there will be sequel to this story, it will take in Ponyville. But yea, I will try to include events from the show with a bit extra, though the outcomes may end up complitly diferent considering that Twilight is small and diferent character.
Season 1 to be honest was the weakest one since the show was just starting, and I feel that there were so many things that could be done better, so the sequel will focus mosly on those episodes that in my eyes can be improved.
Out of curiosity. Can you tell me titles of at least 5 episodes from season 1 that in your opinion could be better and tell in short what in your opinion can be improved in them. It don't need to be long, For example, you can write a title, 1 sentence what you think would be done better, and 1-2 sentences what you think would make the episode better. Maybe it will affect the sequel, maybe not, who knows.
5889278
Napping on a cloud in Dash's style can help with the waiting, that, and also watching Season 5 episodes. So far episodes in season 5 seems to be more mature than in previous seasons (not that it is a bad thing), and I really liked how for the first time (if you don't count Canterlot Wedding), the day was saved by somepony else than main 6, and also the royal sisters and guards weren't forced to be useless for the sake of the conflict, nice change of pace.
5889369
You mean you would be sad if the sequel pops out?
5889457
I don't know...this Twilight has kind of made it her mission to do what is considered impossible by many. Plus NMM is the first pony she really feels she failed, and considering how catastrophic that failure was (for NMM at least), I am sure Twilight has a huge burden of guilt. And the night eyes will always remind her of that fact.
I am not saying she would or should succeed. I just think it would be a great character development arc with her getting more and more frantic at trying to revive NMM, only for there to be a breakdown. Maybe something a-la Lesson Zero. And then she has to accept her failure, the impossibility of fixing it, and moving on. It just has to be in the background, until the inevitable blow up.
However, I am not writing this, nor do I have the time or skill to write like you do. So I will leave my suggestion here, and eagerly await your next chapter.
Also, while I do agree with the spacing of your stories, you may want to consider renaming this story, and naming the next Ponyville's Tiny Librarian.
5889457 Well regardless of the time table I will see you at the next chapter.
As for more action I was pretty much joking. I like this story and I'm at least a good enough writer to know when both the readers and the characters need some quiet time to cool down after a big high action scene.
5889457
Definitly Luna and Cadance part. And my suggestion for season 1 episodes that could be upgraded ( I don't remember titles): Young Fliers Competition episode in Cloudsdale, Trixie episode ( this one always bug me, amount of hipocrision showed in this episode is tragical).
5889457 I agree, Season 5 is off to a great start for me.
Not to mention the fact that I only joined the fandom a few months ago I'm still surprised by my hype level for the season.
5889481
I already mentioned it somewhere here in my replies that I am considering the title change, but I am not sure how to title this story.
To be honest, nothing suitable comes to mind. Ideas are welcome.
5889486
I already wrote an improved version of episode with Trixie, hopefully it will be to your liking (though it will be a looooong time before it will air).
As for young fliers competition ( Sonic Rainboom ). What exacly you didn't like in this episode, and what you would like to see changed? I didn't write it yet so I am open for suggestions,
5889569
It would be like permanent royal canterlot voice (Caps lock permanently turn on). Oh well. If Twilight learned to endure loud noises that hurts her fragile ears everytime someone shout near to her ( she often was forced to set up a sound proof barrier or was rolled across the floor as the result ), it would be only fair for everypony to get used to her voice should she return to her normal size, Same for Twilight's strength. If she got used to being stepped on and crushed by accident, surely others should get used to her not being able to control her strenght.
Or Twilight can somehow train to get this all under control, though it wouldn't be easy.
5889655
Well, if I would put seasons from best to worse, I would place season 4 first, season 2 next, season 3 next and last season 1. As for season 5, I need to watch it fully before deciding where to place it.
Not that season 3 was bad, it had gems like "to many Pinkie Pies and Wonderbolts Academy", but it also had some sour episodes, especially the one involving Spike. As for season 4, my faves are surely "Twilight's Kingdom part 2, Maud Pie, Pinkie Pride, and surpricely Filly Fanilly." I know many had problems with Filly Fanilly, especially the way Pinkie acted, which wasn't out of her character, but just mean spirited and unnecesery, but if you ignore this part, the episode is really nice, especially the "baby steps" at the end.
It will be hard for season 5 to top those episodes. To be honest, I am curious if so called episode 100 will beat Pinkie Pride and Maud Pie, or not. We will see.
5889718
Title idea's:
Equestria's Tiny Defender
The Most Tiny Faithful Student (or The Most Faithful Tiny Student)
Nightmare Moon's Most Tiny Adversary (I like this, since NMM is such a key and fleshed out character.)
...I will get back to you when I think of more.
Delete end " mark.
_________________
Cap.
____________________
Yay! Update. This was a good chapter, and I can't wait for the sequel to come out.
5889718
The fact that when Rariry start biing around any from mane 5 (exculding RD) don't give a shit about it, until catastrophy. This was prepared to been Rainbow great day, after all. I know plot needs but that's hurt to watch in some way.
5889718 even when/if a sequel comes out i will be sad that this story is over. same way i was a little sad when the my little medic story ended. yes it goes on but that little piece of it is over.
5889741
Maybe "Nightmare Moon's Tiny Adversary"
I am not sure to the word "Most" make it better or worse. Anyway I will note this title idea, though if you will come up with more, post them.
5889769
Fixed, thanks.
5889788
I think some readers pointed out that "little medic" dragged a bit to long for a side story with to much filter, so I quess that opinions are divided.
5889848 i like that one just drop the most
I'm just wondering if if/when Twiny becomes an alicorn, will she have to shrink to a bacteria to still have a challenge?
5889848
You're welcome .
5889770
And when did the Rarity B****ing happen In this chapter? She doesn't pop up at all in this chapter.
5889769
The capitalization around "princess of the sun" and "princess of the night" has always been weird, especially since I don't consider them titles that need to be capitalized, but rather mere descriptors. The capitalization isn't necessary depending on how you look at it, in my opinion.
5889870
Aren't you oversteminating Twiny. Sure, she is stronger than in the show, both in terms of raw power and athletic skills, but she's not that powerful.
5889872
He was talking about Rarity's apperance in episode "Sonic Rainboom"
5890065
But they are titles / used in place of a name. They need capitalization since while a descriptor, is used as another name for that pony.
Who is Celestia? She's princess of Equestria, Alicorn / Goddess / Princess of the Sun/Day, diarch of the Equestrian Empire, the Undimming Star, the Solar Sister.
Everything past princess / diarch of Equestria (job positions), are titles / nicknames. Since when said everyone knows who you are talking about.
Similar to who is Luna? Same job positions as her sister but also, Princess / Alicorn / Goddess / Guardian of the Night, Shepard of Dreams, the Lunar Sister.
Now it should be added that it's all about context. If the name Luna or Celestia is used first, then yes it'd be lowrrcased. Since rather than being used as a descriptor (for a majority of titles they carry) being used in place of a name. It is simply a descriptor used to signify what they do. Unless it's being used to introduce them as parts of their titles.
So it's best to capitalize them as you would a nickname or title just in case.
5890135
That has nothing to do with this fic though. And she didn't warn them, and she was directly responsible for that catastrophe.
5890198
I'm still confused as to why the descriptor on its own should be capitalized, but when used with a name, it doesn't need to be. I can't help but feel that it's like saying that "white alicorn" should be capitalized, since I use that phrase in the same way as I use "princess of the sun" or "sun princess." I do realize that titles need to be capitalized, but when I don't think of it as a title, why should I treat it as such? Unless you can get me a link or a source that tells me otherwise, I don't see why I should do anything differently. Why should I do it "just in case" when I don't see any rules that tell me I should do so?
I hope I'm not coming across as difficult. Grammar has always been a strict rule set to me unless I'm breaking a rule for stylistic flair, so if I question something, it's because I don't have any grounding from the grammar rule book that tells me what to do in that case.
5889457 I mean that there's another chapter and a epilogue left at least. As you said in your comments.
5890290
A) Proper Nouns.
B) Titles like, "the Insane", "the Wise", "the Bearded" are capilitalized. While yes they are descriptors as well, they are titles. Or other names the individual are know by.
Yes, "the white mare", or "the star maned princess" are descriptors. But of a different sort. They are physical characteristics, and aren't used in place of a name.
Using "Princess of [Noun / Concept / Archetype]" in place of the name. Is not just a descriptor, but like the titles given above. Are synonomous with said pony.
The [colored] mare, the [colored] coat / mane / eyed pony. Are physical descriptors that can mean anyone. Or are not used in place of a name. After all, how many ponies would refer to celestia as "the white mare, with aurora styled mane"? None right.
The same as with Titles such as those. They aren't their actual name. But are what they are called / known by. Thus count as Nicknames [Same as "Blackbeard the Pirate", or "The Wonderer" [the later from Diablo.]] Both are descriptors, but are nicknames.
And:
C) Nicknames get capitalized always. Same as titles. Even if that title is informal, or is simply a descriptor of what they do. It's still one, thus like with all Nicknames, Titles, and Epitaphs. If it's something used in place of their names. Then it get's capitalized.
5890523
That makes sense. Well enough for me to have a clear set idea for what to do next time this comes up. Thanks!
5890576
You're welcome. If it's any consolation, for over a year I was confused on to what was appropriate at first as well. Took lots of reading, and looking stuff up on my part for it to click. But nonetheless, have a good day, and I'm glad I was able to help.
I love Cadance in this :) I kinda want that the mane 6 be only background pony in the next story. There is already a lot of character around Twilight. (I really expected a resolution without the Element at the start at the story)
5890135 It is unclear how powerful alicorns can be so I probably am overestimating Twilight, I have a propensity for the dramatic. Considering she is the size of a rat right now, would a spider be a more apt comparison?
Cute Luna. Will there be a sequel in which the Cadence help her ... they rehabilitation?
5888128 I was not expecting this to update so soon. I was happy to be caught off guard by it.
Cadence feeding Luna was great, we need to see Luna's reaction to Hayburgers.
If you want suggestions for Season 1 episodes to be improved/changed:
Swarm of the Century: Twilight almost gets eaten by a Parasprite and has to travel in a magic hamster ball for safety.
Dog and Pony Show: Obviously, Spike can't ride on Twilight like canon, but I can see her bouncing around distracting the Diamond Dogs
Best Night Ever: Twilight knows Spitfire personally, so I think she could arrange a meeting for Rainbow dash outside the Gala, she can introduce Blue Blood and Rarity so they hopefully have a pleasant evening, she should visit Luna if Luna isn't in attendance, and possibly advise Applejack on not being able to sell stuff at the Gala.
5888132 Agreed.
5888405 I would love to see her succeed, but since she doesn't have much, as a Tiny Pony her size.
5890693
Well, if this story would be resolved without using the Elements, it would end up with Celestia exausting Nightmare Moon's magic and stamina to a point where she can capture and imprison her, and it would follow with reforming a villain ark. However it wouldn't be reforming Nightmare Moon because she is evil, but rather trying to heal her hate and insanity caused by thousand years of isolation, and forgiving Celestia would be the most dificult part.
I know that choising Elements as the solution seems more easy and lazy way around it, but trust me, I had many reasons to involve the Elements into this, and not just for Discord's arc,
As for main 6 in the background, I will try my best to give all characters some screen time, but Twilight will always be a center of it.
Also, glad you liked Cadence. When writting little medic sidestory, I found that Cadence is very dificult to give some character trials.
5890967
Spiders come in diferent sizes. How about mass comparassion instead.
Twilight's current mass is around 1 kilogram, which is 1/100 of her original mass. What mass do you think she would need to have to find a challenge, should she turn into alicorn?
5891340
You will need to wait for the next chapter to find out.
5891650
One and a half month is soon? Lol. Considering that this chapter had around 4-5k words, I say that it took a bit long.
5893281 1/500?
5893281
The thing is. Your Twilight is very different from canon. It feel really weird to try to stick to canon, especially since the other ponies of the mane 6 look very plain comparing to Twilight other friends. And come on, Twilight nearly convice Nightmare Moon to became Luna again alone. It's also feel like the fact that your Twilight manage to change the mind of Celestia to deal with NM alone and not risking civilian, was pointless.
It's not to sound rude. It just I was happy to have a Twilight more close to her family, mentor and other ponies, but she will probably stay in Ponyville just because of the "Element of Harmony" when I believe a Twilight with enought tie in Canterlot has no reason to move to Ponyville.
5893337
Considering that Celestia shrunk herself to 1/350 of her mass before dueling Twilight, 1/500 seems like a mass that would give alicorn Twilight a really solid challenge.
5893605
I know that it seens a bit weird for me to stick to some of canon situations when the world and characters development I had in my story is so diferent, but I need you to just trust me on this. There are many things behind the scene I can't reveal to not spoil the story and surpricess I prepared in advance. Also, Celestia deciding to face Nightmare Moon alongside her army wasn't pointless.
If you take a closer look into this story, Nightmare Moon was smarter than she was in the show. Let's say that Celestia left dealing with Nightmare Moon to Twilight. The events would go the same way as they did in this story, except that Nightmare Moon's talk with Twilight wouldn't be interupted by Celestia's arrival.
Now lets say that Twilight try to convince Nightmare Moon to forgive her sister, only to enrage Nightamre Moon by accident. Twilight end up hurt, and next she is blessed by Nightmare Moon's spell. At this point Nightmare Moon can do two things:
1) She will search for Celestia in blind rage to face her, most likely attacking Canterlot. She would still try to spare guards that would attack her, but in the end she would be either defeated and locked in prison, or killed in battle. Twilight would either try to get the Elements, but wouldn't find Nightmare Moon until it would be to late, or she would not try to get Elements and in exchange negotiate, which would fail considering how unstable NIghtmare Moon is at this point.
2) Twilight would try to calm Nightmare Moon and next convince the townponies that she isn't a monster.
The outcome would depend on two things:
a) How unstable and blinded by rage Nightmare Moon really is. There would be a small change Twilight would convince her to calm down, but convincing her to forgive Celestia seems nearly impossible.
b) How understanding are ponies in Ponyville. Would they listen and give Nightmare Moon a chance, or run away or even fight against her. Rainbow Dash would probably be the first to rush into a fight, AJ wouldn't trust her and prefer to retreat, Fluttershy would be terrified, and it is dificult to predict how Mayor Mare would act.
In my story, Twilight isn't trying to get to Elements to defeat Nightmare Moon, but to heal her rage and hate. She is trying to save her. Would Twilight try to unlock Elements of Haromony if Celestia wouldn't be on the hunt for Nightmare Moon? Would Twilight manage to negotiate peaceful solution under such circumstances? How will Equestira face Discord, shoudl the Elements stay out of main 6 reach?
All things considered, there are a lot o "what if" questionss in this story, but one thing I am sure. The fact that Celestia didn't want to send Twilight to deal with Nightmare Moon, and the fact that she tried to capture her affected the story, so it wasn't pointless.
Just to be sure, is this a mistake, or intentional?
5897089
It was intentional. Cadence is disquised, so Luna see her as unicorn.
So now we wait till the next chapter and while waiting i shall shroud myself in the shadows, waiting and watching