Nightmare Moon's Tiny Adversary
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Chapter 5
Part 4
A cool breeze blew through the throne room, blowing away the smoke and dust of the recent battle and swirling around the gathered ponies and sleeping guards. Twilight Sparkle had not moved from her hunched-over position in the room, and made no effort to rise as Celestia and Luna proceeded slowly towards her.
"Twilight Sparkle, my faithful student," said Celestia as she walked, unable and unwilling to conceal the pride in her voice. "You did it. You’ve reunited me with my sister, something I’d dreamed about for a thousand years.”
She stopped just short of Twilight and swept her hoof upwards in a grand gesture. “Any wish you would have, just say a word, and if it is within my power, I shall grant it,” she said, before she lowered her forehoof and looked down with a grateful smile. “You have my eternal gratitude.”
Twilight didn’t answer, still sitting with her head lowered and her back to both alicorns. Celestia hesitated, then lowered herself to the ground to get a better look. "Twilight. Is something wrong? Are you injured?"
The little mare let out a sniffle and wiped a foreleg across her eyes before she turned her head to look back at her mentor. Celestia’s cheerful smile vanished at the sight of her student’s red, watery eyes, and she asked worriedly, “Twilight, why are you crying?”
She cast a quick magical scan of her student, but when that showed few physical injuries other than some minor bite marks, Celestia looked closer. There was something about those tearful red eyes that bothered her. Twilight’s pupils had a distinct oval to them, much like Nightmare Moon's, and glowed slightly in the dark.
“Twilight, please, speak to me.” An icy chill blew through her mane at the thought that Nightmare Moon had taken her student as a new host, and even though she knew that Nightmare Moon wasn’t a monster, she didn’t want another of the ponies she loved to be possessed or used as a means of revenge.
"I failed," Twilight said, bent over the small fragment of Nightmare Moon that she held in her forehooves. "It's my fault."
Celestia shook her head and placed one hoof behind her student for support. "No, Twilight. You succeeded. You saved my sister."
Twilight gestured towards the black fragment she was holding. “I f-failed her…”
Celestia’s brow furrowed as she tried to understand what her student was saying, but the next words took her off guard.
”I f-failed Nightmare Moon.”
Confused by the unexpected words, Celestia simply sat and looked at her tiny student quizzically. Luna also lowered herself to the ground and spoke in a near-whisper, "What art thou saying, Twilight Sparkle?
Twilight put the black fragment on the stone floor and wiped her tears, but the regret was still apparent in her shaky voice. “I t-told Nightmare M-Moon that I didn’t w-want to hurt her, t-that I would s-save her,” she said, lowering her head mournfully. “But I didn’t do that. I k-killed her.”
Flinging her small golden helmet away, Twilight grabbed for the rest of her armor, not pausing until the last golden piece had been removed and flung as far away as she could.
"You said I could have anything I wanted!" she raged, grabbing the small fragment of Nightmare Moon and thrusting it towards Celestia. "Bring her back! Use your power on what little remains of her and make her alive again! You're the most powerful being in Equestria! If anypony can save her, it's you! Bring her back!"
Twilight clutched the small dark fragment to her chest and rubbed her cheek against it, dampening it with her tears. "Please."
The Princess of the Sun turned her head and looked away, refusing to meet Twilight's anguished gaze. The silence stretched between them until it was finally broken by the small click of her tiny student placing the last fragment of Nightmare Moon on the ground.
"You can't," said Twilight. "Nopony can. She's gone, and no amount of power or skill could bring her back."
Celestia was speechless, unsure of what to say to comfort her student, but Luna put her hoof on the shoulder of the crying pony. “Hush, little one. Nightmare Moon simply wished to make us happy or die trying. Thou hast granted her wish. Let her rest in peace.”
Twilight twisted around to look up into Luna's compassionate eyes. "B-but..."
“Twilight, thou hast saved us. Nightmare Moon, blinded by hate and heartache, was ready to sacrifice the both of us,” Luna said assuredly. “What thou hast done was right.”
To Luna’s surprise, the little mare jumped up and embraced her neck in a damp hug, sniffling as she asked, “B-but why couldn’t I save both of you? W-why…?”
Spreading a wing around the tiny unicorn, Luna held Twilight between her warm neck and a sea of dark-blue feathers. “Sometimes thou canst not save everypony, Twilight. Tis not thy fault. We are sure that Nightmare Moon would understand.”
The rest of Twilight’s friends approached slowly, but Spike was first on the scene, and there was a moment of silence as the young drake knelt down next to the tiny unicorn and spoke, “Twilight, I almost lost you twice back there, once to Nightmare Moon and once to that manticore, and while I’m happy that you’re safe and sound, I can’t stand seeing you sad like this. You did all you could, and because of that, we are alive and together. Stop thinking about what you failed to do and focus on what you accomplished.”
“Darling, even if you couldn’t save Nightmare Moon from herself,” Rarity said, “you still saved Princess Luna, and that isn’t something to be so distraught over.”
Applejack bumped Rarity with an elbow, raising an eyebrow. “Ya mean we saved Princess Luna, right? It was a team effort,” she added.
“Well, of course. It was our combined effort that led us to this point, but that’s beyond the point I wanted to make,” Rarity replied before levitating up Twilight’s golden armor that she had thrown off earlier. “Also, as lovely as the necklaces that our Elements had turned into are, the design of this armor is amazing! It looks like gold, but there’s nary a scratch on it from being tossed so roughly aside, not to mention that it’s far more useful at Twilight’s size, and it’s so well designed in addition to being so fashionable. See, the way this shoulder piece is shaped allows for a near full range of movement, and…”
Twilight eyed the fashionista as the white unicorn rambled on, pointing out the quirks of the Element of Magic as she turned it to and fro in her levitation. Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes, and simply pat Twilight on the back, pushing the tiny unicorn forward a few steps. Twilight didn’t mind, and she smiled when her friend said, “This was so cool, Twilight! We really have to do this again sometime, and I even got a first-class seat to watch the fight between two alicorns.”
Rainbow Dash then turned towards Celestia, asking none too subtly, “Hey, Your Highness. Is there any chance you could shrink me like you did Twilight? Just temporarily. I would like to challenge myself, and adventuring by her side would be so much fun.”
Celestia let out a ringing laugh. “Maybe someday, Rainbow Dash.”
Rainbow Dash squealed with glee and took off into the air. "Yes! Princess Celestia knows my name!"
Rarity cleared her throat very distinctly, and Rainbow Dash quickly landed back on the ground, blushing. “I errr… I’ll hold you to that, Princess.”
Fluttershy walked closer to her little friend and whispered, “I umm… I… I’m glad.” Twilight and Luna both gave her encouraging smiles, and she continued slightly more confidently, “I’m sorry for what happened to Nightmare Moon, but I’m happy that you’re both okay.”
Twilight smiled and, to the pegasus’s surprise, wrapped her hooves around Fluttershy’s foreleg in a tight hug. “Oh Fluttershy, you don’t need to worry so much about me,” she said, smiling. “I wouldn’t mind if you did look after my safety from time to time, but please don’t make a habit of it.”
Fluttershy nodded, returning the smile briefly before she, Twilight, and Luna were swept up in a pink whirlwind that ended up with everypony trapped together in a tight group hug by Pinkie Pie.
“I am soooo happy for you! We had an amazing adventure and we saved the princess without anypony telling us that she’s in another castle and now we can have a 'Welcome to Ponyville Party' for Princess Luna!" Pinkie Pie somehow managed to throw a hoof-full of confetti into the air and blow on a noisemaker without releasing either Luna, Fluttershy or Twilight from the ongoing hug.
Luna seemed to be surviving the bone-crushing experience fairly well, but it was somewhat more intense for Twilight at her current size. "P-P-Pinkie, c-could you please r-release us?" the tiny unicorn managed to squeak out.
“Oh, okay!” Pinkie Pie said, letting go of her prey. “I was hoping that Nightmare Moon would join us though. I had a name picked out for the party for both of them and now she won’t be able to come and taste my cupcakes or play pin the tail on the pony or come hang out with us, and I won’t be able to be friends with her.”
Twilight’s brow furrowed. It looked as if Pinkie’s mane had deflated, if it was even possible for a pony’s mane to do so. Furthermore, she would have sworn that Pinkie’s fur turned into a darker shade of pink before her very eyes. Rarity and Fluttershy caught on quickly, approaching and escorting their depressed friend towards nearby pillar before cheering her up. Rainbow Dash joined moment later.
Applejack approached the princess, looking worriedly at the pink earth pony before turning towards Luna and clearing her throat. “Y’know, Ah wasn’t certain that this adventure was the bes’ decision we coulda made, but Ah’m glad that Ah went fer the ride,” she said with a grin. She held out a hoof towards Princess Luna, who looked at the extended limb as if there was a spider on it. “Welcome t’ Ponyville, Princess!”
“Applejack!” Rarity admonished, chastising the outstretched foreleg disapprovingly. “It is improper to shake hooves with royalty. You bow or curtsy to them,” she said, dipping down into a bow herself. “Welcome to Ponyville, Your Highness.”
Luna smiled and looked down at Twilight. “Verily, we must say that thou hast made wonderful friends.”
The little mare smiled in return. “Well, I’d only met them yesterday—well, except for Spike and those two silly guards back there, who I’ve known since I was still a young filly—but the others I’ve known only recently. I can always introduce you to my other friends from Canterlot sometime too,” Twilight responded.
Luna returned the tiny mare’s smile, but it faltered, and Twilight quickly picked up on it. “I-Is something wrong, Princess?”
The alicorn cleared her throat uncomfortably. “N-no, Twilight. Tis just... Thou hast done so much for us and our sister. Thou and thy friends risked your lives to help us. How could we ever repay you?”
Twilight shook her head. “I don’t need any payment or reward, Princess. Your gratitude and happiness is reward enough,” Twilight said to general agreement.
Twilight then turned towards the largest alicorn who had been watching them in silence the entire time. She bowed, much to Celestia’s surprise, and said, “I am ready to face the consequences of my actions.”
Celestia blinked in confusion. “Consequences? For what?”
Twilight rose back to a sitting position and took a deep breath. “Disobeying orders, avoiding imprisonment, fleeing from the guard—Well, most of them,” she said with a side glance at Overwatch and Steel Blade, who coughed and tried to look elsewhere lest they get drawn into whatever punishment Twilight was submitting herself to, “putting civilians at risk on a dangerous mission, injury to local wildlife—”
Celestia burst out into joyous laughter, and Twilight frowned, confused. "Did I say something funny, Princess?"
The white alicorn wiped away her tears, her laughter slowly petering out as she gave Twilight the biggest and most cheerful smile she could muster. “Twilight, you are so adorkable sometimes,” Celestia stated, much to Twilight’s blushing embarrassment. “After everything you’ve done for me, you’d have to burn an entire town to the ground so that I would even consider punishing you.”
“But-but—”
Celestia lowered herself to Twilight’s level, delicately running a hoof over the tiny unicorn’s head. “Twilight, I would shower you with presents at this point if I didn’t know you’d refuse every single one of them,” she said cheerfully before she looked upon the other ponies in the room. “If any of you wish for a reward or favor from me, don’t hesitate to ask. All of Equestria owes you a big debt.”
Overwatch let out an exaggerated gasp before turning to Steel Blade with a hopeful expression on her face and asking, “How much chocolate do you think I can get off of this?”
Steel Blade applied a hoof to his face, trying not to draw too much attention as he turned to Overwatch and whispered, “Do you actually eat anything except sweets?”
Applejack looked back at Pinkie Pie with concern, who was now pawing at a few black fragments scattered across the floor with quite a few ponies still trying to lift her spirits. The farmer took a few dignified steps ahead of the group and spoke firmly, “Will do, Princess. Even though Ah don’ want any reward fer doin’ what’s right, a pony t’ pony favour from the princess might prove mighty useful in a bad situation. Ah gladly accept.”
Celestia looked once again into Twilight’s slitted eyes, but her student spoke first before she could continue.
“P-Princess… why aren’t you angry? I know that you’d lost faith in my abilities and didn’t want me involved, but—”
Twilight was cut off by her mentor’s hoof. “Twilight, I’ve never lost faith in you. I knew you could unlock the Elements and heal my sister, but that’s not the main reason I didn’t want to let you come to Ponyville.”
Twilight’s brow furrowed together, begging for an explanation that Celestia readily gave. “The reason why I didn’t want you involved was because of the risk. There is no guaranteed victory when the Elements are involved. It has always been a gamble. You and your friends could have died trying to save my sister, and your small size only compounded the inherent risk involved.“
“But Princess… as your subjects, it is our duty to serve in any way we can. You had every right to put our lives at risk for the good of Equestria,” Twilight started. “You’ve been preparing me for this very day as your student, and it was my duty to unlock the Elements or die trying.”
Celestia froze, and she took in a deep breath as her face contorted into a scowl.
“Compared to your sister, who you’ve spent centuries with, my very existence should be insignificant,” Twilight continued as Celestia’s foreleg started to tremble. “With your sister’s life on the line, why would you concern yourself with—”
The thunderous impact of a hoof striking down onto the floor beside her caused the tiny mare to flinch. Twilight lowered her forelegs from her face to see a long white foreleg leading from a large hole in the ground, cracks spreading out around the damaged area. “Err… P-Princess?”
Celestia stood up, removing her forehoof from the hole in the ground. Tiny fragments of stone fell from it in front of the little mare in a brief shower.
Dwarfed in the shadow of the princess, Twilight slowly looked up at the towering alicorn above her. The princess had her eyes closed and was taking slow, deep breaths. The tiny unicorn rubbed at her foreleg nervously, and with a gulp, she asked, “D-did I say something wrong?”
“Twilight.”
It was soft, but firm, and Twilight had stopped dead before she was swept up in a magical aura and pressed against Celestia’s white chest, a hoof coming around the tiny unicorn to bring her closer.
“I have said this so many times before, and yet you refuse to believe it,” Celestia said quietly. “Don’t you ever think, much less say aloud, that I should not care about you. Your words… your words very nearly compelled me to slap some sense into you.”
The princess looked down at the hole in the ground, so very close to where her student had been, and bit her lip. “I’m sorry for what I nearly did, but I beg you to finally understand that I love you nearly as much as my own sister.”
Luna stared at Celestia in disbelief, her mouth agape, but she quickly shook her head and suppressed the growing feeling of jealousy. It was a feeling she felt guilty for having, especially for her savior, who definitely deserved the love and care she was receiving from Celestia. Taking a deep breath, Luna looked at the tiny mare trapped behind her sister’s forehoof and smiled.
Twilight grit her teeth and tried to force open the tight hug. After gaining some space and a breath of fresh air, she looked up her mentor, brow furrowed in confusion as she waited intently for Celestia to continue.
“I didn’t send you into danger because I didn’t want to lose a pony who I love and care so deeply about,” Celestia said warmly. “I didn’t want two ponies I love so much to fight each other. I wanted to capture Nightmare Moon and imprison her so that I could personally guide you and your friends to unlock the Elements of Harmony safely.”
“But princess, your sister is an alicorn who’s lived with you a millennium ago. I’m just your student, who will one day—Hurk!”
“I don’t care!” Celestia exclaimed, hugging Twilight tightly once more, cutting off what else she could have said. “Alicorn or not, student or subject, it doesn’t matter. I will never think any less of you. I will not let you risk your life if I can help it.”
The white alicorn loosened her embrace and took a deep breath, continuing in a calmer tone. “But it seems you got yourself involved in the end anyways. I’m just glad that you’re still alive. Thank you for everything.”
Twilight simply stared up at Celestia incredulously for a few moments before she finally relaxed, sinking into her mentor’s dirty fur with a murmur.
“Glad I could be of use, Princess.”
***
Cadence, who had been sitting on the sidelines while everypony else had their big reunion, finally made herself known, walking up to Luna and placing a hoof onto her shoulder. Luna jumped at the contact, but curiously looked back at the taller alicorn after her initial flinch.
“See, you’re no longer lonely,” Cadence said cheerfully, giving the princess an encouraging smile. “You can count all the ponies here as friends—or ‘loyal subjects’, depending on your preferences—and you can count on them to keep you company and to help you fit back into Equestria.”
The pink alicorn looked at Celestia for a moment, who was calmly conversing with Twilight. “Your sister wants to make up for her mistakes, but if she’s ever too busy with her royal duties, I’ll be there for you. Don’t be afraid to ask.”
Luna smiled. “Our thanks, Cadence. We appreciate thine assistance in our rehabilitation.”
Cadence returned the smile, and without further ado, she took a deep breath and shouted, “Listen up, everypony!”
She was immediately met with the gaze of many curious eyes, and she waited for their full attention before she said, “I know that everypony’s excited after what happened, but it’s been a long tiresome night, so we should wrap it up and get some rest.”
“But what about Pinkie?” Rainbow Dash asked. She stopped for a moment, her brow furrowing as she looked at Cadence more closely. “You look familiar... Weren't you the one who hugged—”
“She’s my friend from Canterlot. There’ll be time for introductions later after we get moving, but I can assure you we can trust her,” Twilight said to her friends before she climbed up onto Celestia’s lowered wing, climbing up and perching herself on the princess’s back.
Cadence nodded in confirmation and, noting the state of the ponies there and the spiritless state of Pinkie Pie, charged magic into her horn and suggested, “I can provide transportation. You must all be very tired.”
“Thank ya kindly,” Applejack said, walking over to the apathetic Pinkie Pie and, with the help of Rainbow Dash, placed the pink earth pony onto her back, “but Ah got it covered.”
“Um, alright then,” Cadence said before turning her attention to the ponies in armor scattered about. “Before we go however, we should probably wake up all the guards.”
“We regret to inform thee that that idea is much more easily said than done,” Luna said. She then poked a hoof at her horn. “We have placed each of them in the land of dreams. Waking them up wouldst be… more difficult than thou wouldst expect.”
“There is no need for that,” Celestia stated as she walked ahead of Cadence and charged her horn. “After today’s events, each of them deserve a good rest.”
One by one, the guards floated upwards in her golden aura and levitated over her head. Cadence quickly focused her own magic to assist, and soon, every able-bodied pony was skittering around finding guards to haul back.
With several pegasi and unicorns in her magical hold, Cadence approached Overwatch and whispered, “Hey, Miss Overwatch, could you help me with something?”
“Hold on,” the mare guard responded, looking intently at the guards she was concentrating on levitating. “This is actually a lot harder than I imagined—Twilight makes things look so easy sometimes—and I’m wondering how I’m going to have the energy to keep levitating these guys and walk through the forest at the same time. Actually...”
She waved a hoof at Steel Blade. “Hey Steelie, you don’t think you’ll be able to carry me all the way back while I levitate these sleepyheads, right?”
Cadence’s brow furrowed. “You know, you could always give some to me or Celestia…”
Steel Blade let out a mock huff of exasperation, rolling his eyes. “Oh fine. I suppose it’d be more useful to carry you than just another unconscious guard. Hop on.”
The guard mare happily sprawled out over Steel Blade’s back, stealing a few cookies from his saddlebags before she finally turned to Cadence. “So. What’d you have in mind?”
Cadence snuck a side glance at Luna, who had her horn lowered to a sleeping guard, likely attempting to reverse her slumber spell. “Even with the help of my spell and the Elements, Luna will still need all support she can get,” she began. “I was thinking about organizing a ‘welcome back’ party for her in Ponyville.”
Applejack had coincidentally passed by at that moment, and with her, Pinkie Pie. The pink mare’s ears immediately shot up at those words, and with an audible poof, her mane regained its original fluff and her fur brightened back to its usual shade of brilliant pink.
In a blink, Pinkie Pie was up, standing atop Cadence with a gasp before anypony could tell what was happening.
“That’s right! We all need to be rested for tomorrow’s welcoming party!” Pinkie exclaimed. She looked around with excitement, noticing all of the faces around her, new or not. “Or should I say, parties! There’ll be a party for Luna, a party for Twilight, a party for—”
Rainbow Dash immediately plugged Pinkie’s mouth with a hoof. “Yeah, we get the idea. Let’s go everypony!”
Pinkie nodded and, after Rainbow Dash cautiously removed her hoof, struck her own hoof into the air with a cry. “Onward! Next stop, Ponyville! Mush!” she said as she bounced up and down on Cadence, who couldn’t help letting out a giggle and playing along. The pink alicorn led the group proudly, her nose held high as she blazed the path into the Everfree Forest.
Overwatch just blinked, still slightly stunned. She shook her head clear, reasserting her faltering telekinesis on the guards she was levitating before taking another look at the pink pony riding atop the other pink pony. “Well… that was a mood swing,” she said dumbly.
Twilight smirked at their antics, cuddling with the soft feathers around her before she gathered the scattered black fragments with her telekinesis and called out to her guards. “Steel Blade! Overwatch!”
“Yes Twilight?” the pegasus asked, turning towards the little mare and trotting over. “Anything I can do to help?”
Twilight nodded, pointing at the saddlebag he carried. “I need you to store something for me. A memorandum of my… failure,” she said hesitantly. Celestia’s ear perked up, and her warm smile was replaced with more pensive grimace.
With the fragments of her fallen foe now resting safely inside her guard’s saddlebag, Twilight focused on a few unconscious guards of her own. She stole a few from Overwatch, who had playfully shot her an emphatically annoyed glare, but handed them over thankfully and without argument. The majority of her efforts were to ease Celestia’s burden.
Tired or not, she would never let the princess struggle alone. Never.
***
“Hey Twilight?” Overwatch suddenly blurted out.
“Yeah?”
“When in Tartarus did you get those adorable slit pupils?”
That was an incredible ending to the arc of Nightmare Moon. It was gut-wrenching having to wait for the next chapter, but you managed to make it all worth it by exceeding the expectations I had for this story.
You succeeded in making this Nightmare Moon one of the most interesting, fun-to-watch, and possibly tragic character in the entire time I've spent on this site. And I've never seen the show in its entirety, only the first two episodes and the one with discord. I haven't seen the other ones because the stories I've seen here have relayed all that Info perfectly.
The story about a main character who is shrunk made for a funny, yet intriguing premise. And the way her actions subtlety changed due to the change were cool to see. However, in my opinion, this section of your mini-Twilight series is a highlight for it, as the villain was just so engaging as a character. To me, Luna and Nightmare are never actually the same person, and to see her be given so much character development and yet have a tragic, yet respectable end literally reduced me to tears.
I cannot wait for the next chapter to see where this goes. Keep it up!
*gasp* Yaaaaaaay
I am of two minds about NMM. One the one hand, I am very glad that you are doing something original and not going the Nyx route. On the other hand...NMM was awesome in this fic, and I really wanted her to survive in some meaningful form. So I am really really hoping Twilight has a new companion in her head.
Edit: Other thoughts on this chapter:
Party for Luna! Yes, she really needs that.
Celestia really loving (not romantically I believe) Twilight? Also very good.
Characters remain well characterized.
No real problems of any sort.
5694195
This. This says it better than I did.
Twiny and Nyx alternate universe story: This should be a thing.
oh hi there tiny librarian story i forgot about you
Aw, I wanted a micro-Nyx. But it seems we might get Nightmare Sparkle disassociative personality, so
I Saw This Coming.
5694195
Glad we exceeded your expectations.
I am sure there are other stories in gorup "Hero Nightmare Moon" where she is just as interesting. Especially story involving Harry Potter where Nightmare Moon is taking form of a cute plushie.
As for tragic element, there were some stories where Nightmare Moon meet her end in a tragic way. I think "the room" was one of them.
Oh, but that's such a waste. While I am trying to improve in my story on what show could've done better in my opinion, I really would advice you to watch the episodes.
Season 1 is rather weak since this is where show just started out, however season 2 have a really nice quality. Most stories in it are decent or good.
Season 3 wasn't as good as season 2. Don't get me wrong, there were some gems in it, like "Too many Pinkie Pies" or "Silsterhoof Social" or "Wonderbolts Academy" but it was weighted down by some poor episodes, especially the ones that involved Spike.
Season 4 however is where the quality really shot to the roof. Pinkie Pride is a masterpiece, Maud Pie is really really entertaining, and while not everyone liked it, I really enjoyed FIlly Fanilly episode. And the finalle was awesome.
You really should do a marathon and watch season 2, 3 and season 4 episodes.
Trust me, you will enjoy it.
Originally, Little Student and Little Librarian were meant to be one story, and few chapters from little student were meant to be a build up for events in Ponyville.
Since people liked Twiny so much, I decided to make it two separate stories, but in terms of quality, Little Librarian was always meant to be the better one.
I am afraid it will take a while. My editor focus on quality over quanity, and lately he is very busy with studing.
On side note, since you will wait for next chapter, would you check up my other story "Trial of Blood and Kindness" I uploaded recenlty. I know it won't be as good as this one, but maybe you will like it too.
5694206
Hope always die last.
Regardless of do Nightmare Moon would come back in any way or not, I can't say because it would be spoiling. All I can say is that maybe she will, or maybe not, but you can always hope she will.
5694230
I can't write it I am afraid, but if someone else would, I will gladly pre-read it and give as many advices to keep Twiny in character as possible.
5694230 ... please no.
T'would be as a great calamity, culling the Brony herd of all those with any sense of moral decency, kindness, or a soul.
Their hearts would give way, you see?
Actually, on second thought, yes. Heart attacks all around! Diabeetus for everyone.
Yet again, you've produced an amazing chapter. I suppose it might be a bit much for Twilight to finally get it in her head that Celestia actually, really loves her (although repetition might have finally beaten it into her), but I'm certain that even the girls from Ponyville know it now.
Beautiful.
I just need to ask the author something. How much magic would a shred of Nightmare Moon the size of Twiny have compared to her?
5694282
I am not surpriced.
5694360
Might is a correct word. I think I've proven more than once that nothing is set in stone in my story.
5694371
You did? How so?
5694443
That depends who would write it. There are some good Nyx stories out there and some bad ones.
5694447
Considering Twilight's inferiority complex, it sure require a lot to convince her that she is not just a means to an end or a puppet or minion that is worth as much as useful she is to Celestia, but after what she learned today, i am sure that Twilight will finally see that her mentor didn't kept her as student only to save her sister.
I am not so certain. Before I uploaded this chapter, my story had 933 upvotes and 26 downvotes. Now it have 932 upvotes and 28 downvotes. While the comments praise it, it seems that not many liked this chapter, and one person even started to dislike this story because of it.
I just wish that when someone give a downvote, he/she would at least give reason for it. If I don't know why somoene not like my story, I can't improve it.
5694496
If Nightmare Moon was at her full power. Even with protection spell, Twilight would still posses few times less magic than a fragment her size, but keep in mind that Nightmare Moon was an alicorn, so Twilight can hardly compete. However as it is, I doube there is much magic left in those fragments.
5694371 cAPTAIN cAPITAL! mY aRCH eNEMY!
5694521 Still enough to cause physical change though, we shouldn't be expecting her to grow fangs should we?
Hey Twilight?” Overwatch suddenly blurted out. “Yeah?” “When in Tartarus did you get those adorable slit pupils?”
Yeah I would have thought they would have brought that up sooner. What did Celestia notice and then just decide not to mention it at all?
Hooray for updates!
One, not a lot happened in this chapter, but what did happen is very exciting. You cannot hide Chekhov's gun from me. That or it's a red herring, still I'm placing my bets on the gun.
Two, I love that delightful pink party pony. Alliteration aside you captured her very well in this chapter.
Well I'll see you at the next chapter... that or I'll actually get caught up on Medic again.
I thought it was gone forever!!!
But it lives!!!
5694555 I'm pretty sure that the slit pupils are the result of the 'blessing of the moon' that Twilight got back in the town hall, and not strictly related to Nightmare Moon. I'm pretty sure that the blessing Luna gives her thestrals does the same thing to their eyes, though it's hard to tell for certain in their rare appearances in the show.
Honestly, the lesson that sometimes you cannot save everyone no matter how hard you try, that sometimes you can only do your best and live with the results, is an important lesson for Twilight to learn if this version of her is going to one day ascend as she has in the show. As much as I would like to see Nightmare Moon survive somehow, it would cheapen that painful lesson for Twilight.
5694761
I thnk Celestia was first shocked with Twilight's request to bring Nightmare Moon back, and later she was just to focused on convincing Twilight that she is more than just pupped whose mission was to save her sister, and it slipped her mind.
5694799
Did you like her for humour, like when she mentioned that they saved a princess without anypony saying that she is in another castle. Or the fact that Pinkie was both happy for her friends, sad for what happened to Nightmare Moon and determined to organize parties for all new ponies that arrived at the scene?
This sidestory is nearly over, only 1 chapter and epilogue left. Good luck in catching up.
5694833
I thought you should've learn to far that my editor is working very slowly. Updates takes very long time, but they come sooner or later.
5694874
Interesting theory. Nice to see that you remember about the blessing that Twilight received.
Question. Why in your opinion this lesson is so important if Twilight would ascent?
I see that lots of people are really missing her already.
5694968 Personaly I think ensure her student didn't have anything horribly wrong like some kind of Dark magic inside of her would have been more of a Priority. Ensuring the Safety and well being of the student who just saved your sister and by extension Equestria really should not be something that just slips her mind.
its your story and you get to chose how it goes but I do think the priorities got seriously mixed up there.
Comfort her for sure, but don't forget about the possibility of dark magic doing something far worse. At least, I don't know magically scan her or something as you comfort her.
Having it slip her mind just seems WAY out of character for Celestia.
Also how the Hell did no one else notice the silted glowing eyes until the very end of the chapter?
I'm sure you have reasons but Its pretty hard for me to suspend my disbelief on stuff like this.
(Trying to give helpful criticism here. Don't get mad at me for being honest, and asking fair questions.)
5694968
Most prominent reason? Alicorns are ageless. Everyone else except Cadence, Luna, and Celestia will die, and there is unlikely to be anything that she can do about that.
I cannot tell you how excited I was to see this chapter come up! It's really great I love that Cadance and Twi noticed what happened to NMM right away, and I'm really glad it was addressed in this chapter. I was really sad to see what happened to NMM--peeled away from Luna as she was--but I really liked the portrayal of her as a Being watching out for Luna. I hope she comes back at some point. I would really love to know more about her, her origins, how she and Luna met, and how Luna felt while they were one. It's very intriguing! I like that pretty much all the characters cared about what happened to NMM and none of them brushed it off or told the others not to worry about it. Thank you for this great story, Commander, and all the editors and prereaders!
5694497 several things
1. Twilight beating herself up for failing her self imposed mission of saving BOTH Luna AND Nightmare Moon.
2. Twilight trying to collect the remnants of Nightmare Moon's armor.
3. Twilight being affected by the residual magic from said remnants.
“When in Tartarus did you get those adorable slit pupils?”
i don't think we've seen the end of the nightmare just yet.
Perhaps Twiny hasn't failed in her endeavor after all. And we almost had Pinkie switch places with Diane, too. (I personally believe that Pinkie is a chimera twin, and Diane is able to control the body when the usually happy Pinkamina falls into depression.) Hmm...
Things are looking rather complicated, since I get the feeling that this is far from over.
5694968 Danke. also both of those parts made me smile, so I figure Pinkie lived up to her element quite nicely.
5694761
5695004
Keep in mind that the idea that Twilight was possesed was just an idea, but after Twilight spoke with her usual voice and acted like her usual self, I think Celestia dismissed it. She used a scanning spell after all and it didn't show anything, so it also ease her worries.
Futhermore, Celestia learned enough about Nightmare Moon to know that she wouldn't directly hurt Twilight, and she can always ask her sister later on if she knew anything about it.
She already scanned her student.
I am sure many ponies noticed it, but considering what happened that night, Twilight's eyes didn't stand up all that much.
And yea, it will be deal with later, but I just decided that for now the group had other things on their heads to wonder why Twilight's eyes changed, and leave this for later.
5695020
Your welcome.
Also, you can always thank my editor by following him. You can find link to Kydois and Georg account in author notes.
5694555
Thought the physical change came from that spell that Nightmare Moon cast on Twilight back in the town hall of Ponyville.
5695277 fair enough
So, having not read the original yet... Are Steel and Overwatch in a relationship? Because if not, I wholeheartedly ship it.
so great cant wait for more love this story
I wonder what happened to Twilights eyes
HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHEEEEEEEEHEEEEEE
Ruh roh
Nightmare Twiny
5695277 Plus, as the eyes goes, I'd think smaller eyes would be harder to notice.
You can be lonely without being alone, which Luna was previously.
Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, alicorn royalty of Equestria, merely familiar? I get that Dash isn't the most attentive, but I'd have thought she would at least recognise an alicorn, even if Cadance were somehow not common public knowledge.
Yay, new chapter!!
5695357
That's clearly a possibility.
5695750
I think it is more of profesional relationship. They didn't date each other's yet.
5696415
True, but considering the athmosphere, it was obvious that she was welcomed and is supported by those around her.
Not bad considering that not long ago she was viewed as villain.
I suppouse she was to focused on other stuff to remember Cadence, though she recognized the fact that she hugged Nightmare Moon. Twilight just didn't let her finish.
5696415
Actually, it makes sense that Cadance was merely "familiar" to Rainbow Dash. If I'm remembering the first story correctly, Princess Cadance doesn't actually help rule--she spends her time living various normal lives, disguised, and moving on when she needs or wants to. She came to Canterlot to help Celestia by watching Twiny, who needed special attention, and probably isn't super well known even though she's been around a few years. She is very close to Celestia and Luna though, and has kept in touch with Celestia.
It would seem that Twilight might have saved Nimmy after all.
thank you so much dear author for letting Nightmare somewhat still live
I don't know how to feel.
On one side, I love the comments. They show that this fan fiction has a following that really loves what the author is doing with the plot of MLP. On the other hoof, there are now four more downvotes since I last looked at this and one more upvote.
I can't tell if I'm doing something wrong here, or if I'm missing something that's pissed people off, or if those people who were on the fence about this fic only took until now to show their dissatisfaction, or what. I'm probably being more touchy about the numbers on this story more than I should be, but there's a dichotomy here that I can't explain, and it's bugging the crap out of me.
No idea if this comment'll do anything, but I'd love a bit more feedback on what's so iffy about the new chapter. It doesn't even have to be coherent. Just say something.
Please?
5697312
Eeyup. You summed it up nicely.
5697757
Those 4 downvotes also discourage me a lot. While the comments are nice, the ammount of downvotes and the fact that two people who liked this story started to dislike without telling why is really making me feel uncomfortable. We worked very hard on this chapter, and base on downvotes, it seems that it is a hated chapter, and I don't know why.
Any feedback on what was wrong with it would be really nice. Please.
Literally shouted "OH SHIT WHAT" when I read that. I have to say, this is an interesting turn of events. What could it mean? Does Nightmare live on in Twilight? Did Nightmare bless Twilight with that? If so, what else might be included? Definitely looking forward to more!
I do not like where this is headed. Not one bit.
5697789
5697312
That still doesn't explain why RD wouldn't recognise an alicorn. Like I said (which was apparently ignored), even if Cadance herself wasn't known, it's not like you see live alicorns on every street corner.
As for the downvotes? Ignore them. Some people will downvote out of spite or boredom, some will downvote simply because they don't like certain characters, and others still will downvote because they have no sense of quality. Unless the negatives are accompanied by well-considered explanations as to why, you can reasonably assume that one of the previous is the case.. And if they do leave a critique? Cherish it, because treasures like that are invaluable opportunities to improve your creations. They don't come around often on this site.
I'd give a critique myself, but RL has been exceptionally draining lately and I just don't have the energy. There are definitely some simpler things that need work (like dialogue continuity), though, and a slight lack of smoothness to some interactions (Especially with Celestia, who seems nothing at all like Celestia) which reduces the believability of it all. Will maybe elaborate later. Meanwhile, never stop writing! (Unless it becomes a chore, that is)
And so, somepony finally realizes Twilight is a Nocturne Unicorn now. Took 'em long enough.