Not really big on fanfic writing, but when I'm in the mood I'll jot something down from time to time. I'd much rather frequent sites like YouTube, DeviantArt, and Facebook
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Twilight Sparkle rushes to Celestia's bedroom one day to witness her mentor raising the sun.
She discovers a shocking truth.
Just a story I challenged myself to write in under an hour. Nothing special. Still, I hope you will enjoy it.
(AU Due to Luna being present while Twilight is still a filly)
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The shocking truth is that Celestia is actually the real Twilight, and the Twilight we know is a figment of the imagination of the real Twilight that was given life after Nightmare Moon won when she returned.
Good story, but the thing is that when Celestia doesn't raise the sun, like with Nightmare Moon... the sun doesn't rise.
"Rock-a-doodle" wasn't that great even when helmed by Don Bluth.
The show contraindicates this happening. It's... sad but lacks impact because it's so fast. There's no build. The bad things happen like a pileup of cars in an accident. She makes ansingle observation and concocts an elaborate explanation involving ancient lies and official denials. That's not a tragedy that's a conspiracy theory about reptilians.
I'm pretty sure the show tells this isn't how it works, and that she actually does raise the sun.
But nice, anyway.
4555303 GASP! THE SHOCKING TRUTH! XD
4555395 Meh. You still have a nice avatar. XD
I'm sorry, but this just doesn't work.
4555367 I don't care if anything I write is good or bad, friend. I just wrote this crap for...well, that reason. I'm not a good writer, and I won't pretend to be.
If your comment is trying to say this was bad writing, then you can just say it. I won't be offended. I wasn't expecting positive feedback for this anyway. If anyone here could write this tory better and give the idea justice, they are free to do so. I would be much happier knowing that an awful writing of mine gave someone the motivation to write it better and get the views they would deserve more than me.
I honestly mean that, too. So, I am deeply sorry for wasting your time. Please forgive me.
4555417 I know. But I wasn't trying to write a good story here. I just wanted to move some junk out of my head and stick it somewhere. And since when did anything I write ever work? XD I am awful at writing stories. I don't think I have one story worthy of being called 'good'. XD
Not that it matters to me, really. I'm awful at story writing, but at least I can say I tried. I am very sorry for wasting your time. I hope you bear no ill will or grudge against me.
The simple fact was: Celestia already raised the sun. She just went back to bed after.
...it takes a while for the light of the sun to reach Equestria.
4555447 :)
4555422
I don't comment like that. I comment with the intent of helping the writer by pointing out the weak areas of a story. I want to encourage you.
You're a good fellow.
4555410 If you ask me, you should have made this into a wtf-random-comedy and made up some troll science reason for her not raising the sun.
As for my profile pic, I should have a really kawaii one coming up, if the sketch the artist gave me was any proof
4555475 Oh right. I am sorry.
Had a very late night last night. Been trying to turn someone's story chapter into an animation for them. Not thinking clearly.
But as much as I appreciate help and advice when given, I honestly really really REALLY don't need any for this story. This story was just nonsense I typed up fresh from my head. If I wanted to really make it remotely as close to a good story as I will ever be oh-so-lucky to get, I'd have spent time on it, but as it says, this was just written in under an hour (actually, five minutes flat)
But your feedback will be given attention, because if you spent time being nice enough to give it, I'd be a massive dickhead McScrooge not to return the favor and listen to what you have to say. I owe you that much at the very least.
I am sorry for not putting something better up, but ideas do not come so easily for me, especially when I am unable to find inspiration so easily. Britain is a hellhole at times, and the WORST place imaginable for finding inspiration.
Could be worse, though. If I lived near London, I'd be killed the first day. XD You look at something even the slightest bit wrong, and you're f**ked. XD Ah, the 'wonders' of being British, crumpets and tea, lads. Chin chin! XD
At least we rock the porno mustache look. XD
4555493 The artist never got back to me, the ignorant S.O.B XD
Was probably too busy with your avatar. XD Never mind. I think I am better off drawing my own, in my own horrible drawing style. XD
I'm so pathetic...XD
Would you mind if I took this idea and ran off somewhere else with it? Like, I'm not technically stealing it, I came up with it on my own as well, but now that you actually wrote about it I would feel bad using it without talking to you first.
4555518 Dude, I said somewhere here that if ANYONE thinks they can use this idea and write it with the justice my idea probably deserves, they are absolutely free to do so. I could have probably done much more with this idea, maybe even make it brilliant, but I didn't cause' I am tired from working on an animation all night long.
Please. I would be insulted if you didn't take the idea. But promise that you'll put more effort and time into your writing than I did. All credit you get for your story will be yours entirely. I ask for nothing in return.
DOUBLE THUMBS UP!
I loved the story! It was half adorable and half sad, but it was still cute and a very nice use of words! Way to go, my good man!
4555514 You're a better artist than me, by miles.
And the artist said she's been really busy or something, so that's most likely the reason why.
If you want, I can give you some artists that take requests?
Duh duh daaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!! Celestia lied, man! Game over, man!Game over!
4555544 You are kind, but I made no real effort with this story. With the utmost regret, I have to be honest, and decline your compliment. But please know it was much appreciated.
Maybe if my next story is mildly better than this, you can give me that compliment then, eh? XD
Now I feel terrible for what I've said to you. I hope you do not resent me in any way, or were offended, as it was not my intention to be rude or ignorant of your kindness. If you are upset in any way from my comment, please accept my sincere apologies.
4555303 Well, maybe they move on their own, but the sisters are powerful enough to move them, or stop them. Maybe it was a natural cycle, but then Nightmare Moon stopped the cycle.
4555535 I certainly will. When I actually do finish something (which, admittedly, is rare), I put as much effort into it as possible.
4555560 You're a very good writer, it's just that you totally rushed this one. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, can write a good story in one hour.
4555560 Then... I'd love to read one of your better ones... I guess...
The things I think of when I can see it happening.
4555422
You're a good writer, you just wrote this too quickly.
4555661 Just so you know, I'm not asking or begging you to read any of my other stories, unless you willingly want to. I have my flaws, but I will NEVER beg people to read my stories or view my Youtube channel. I have to earn my views and followers/subscribers. If I had to beg for them, there'd be no point to me even trying to do anything on the internet.
4555780 I know that, I was just saying...
4555787 Alright. My bad. Just checking, was all.
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4555274 Geez. That's too deep for how I'm feeling right now. Brilliant.
4555508
Good old England. I wish I could visit.
Are you still doing "Changeling" chapters? I've been away from YouTube.
Eh, Celestia had the sun rise on snooze. She already rose it, just went back to sleep.
4555921 I stopped the story reading quite a while ago. I got a message from someone saying what I was doing was retarded and that your story deserved a much better reader.
Part of me suspects it might have been that one guy I argued with in one of your blogs, but I won't point fingers.
I liked it, Unique, but I feel almost as if you've wasted a TON of potential here. It's a great premise, and I think that you could have written a truly great story if you had put more time into it, instead of just trying to squeeze in under an hour.
Don't waste fantastic story ideas. I personally despise waste. I'd rather see you say "I tried to write this one in under an hour, but it just got away from me and I couldn't stop!" and then end up reading some epic story with Twilight confronting Celestia, Celestia trying to explain herself, or maybe even the public in general learning the truth.
I think this might have worked a lot better if it had turned out Celestia had worked out how to raise the sun without her direct attention, and for Twilight to never find out and go on thinking her mentor was a fraud.
4555948 I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel like I am losing interest in writing, which I probably am.
I have only two stories - TWO stories - that I am proud of. 'At the Bottom of the Bottle' and 'The Stoning of the Heretic'. They got lucky with their views, and it was a huge honor for them to be in the Popular Section. Had they been put in the Featured section, I'd have deleted them in a heartbeat.
I guess I am lacking ideas, or maybe I have good ideas, but a poor way of executing them. I am not a smart person. I mean, just because I succeeded my schools with high grades and marks, doesn't mean I am overly intelligent, after all.
Maybe I just need more time to think. I want to do a few stories now and then, for fun, but I want people to actually enjoy reading them, and I want to be doing stories that I know I will finish because I want to finish them.
4555535 How about this?
4556228 I think you're going to get a lot of views if you put the time and effort in that I didn't
Oh, that is kinda cute. Poor Twilight. I can't help but wonder what her next action would be, ignoring her outright or attempts to inform the public of lies and treachery? Or is Celestia just so good she does it in her sleep?
Really cute x3
4556198 Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed this story. It's just that it could have, should have had more meat on the bone.
It's a one hour story. It's not going to get a hugely positive response, but I still think you did a good job within the parameters that you set for yourself.
4556331 I have set up a new story that i will get around to doing some time later on this week. I aim to make this new story one that redeems my stupidity here.
Don't get me wrong, I understand that this took a short time to make -and considering it only took you an our or so, the words that you use are quite gripping. But I think this is a poor way to use such good skill and talent in writing, for instance, try writing a story with more meaning, and an embracing story line!
4556405 I have been tired all day after staying up late trying to get an animation done for my YouTube channel. It may have had a part in the crappy quality of my story. I only hope the next story I do will earn me everyone's forgiveness. I really do want to give the best I can for my viewers with what little talent I have.
Story writing is hard without something to really inspire you, or motivate you.
I bet, when you cast the same spell at the same time every day for thousands of years, You get to be pretty good at it, good enough to say, cast it while asleep, by muscle memory alone.
4555933
Ahh.
I got a surprise reading of "The Discarded Son" which was cool.
4555274 Makes sense!
So um... Wait. What does her cutie mark mean I wonder? Celestia's?
It just seems... odd.
Either way good writing. Just wish there was more interaction with Celestia herself on the matter.
4557895 I mean, I really did enjoy the reading, honestly, but after getting that message, I started feeling bad. I also starting listening to myself doing the readings, and I just...didn't like my voice. I began believing that it wasn't doing your story justice, so...yeah.
But you have my thanks for letting me do it for that long at least. So, thank you.