Typing has always been something that I like to do. And, with the inspiration of a lot of MLP fanfics, I bring my emotions out in my stories! Hope you like 'em and enjoy!
A Dragon named Sevron, sets upon a land filled with contending Griffons and Ponies alike. Sevron must make the choice of whether he will be able to end the two contradicting parties, or give his innocence to war.
Authors Note: This is my first story, all comments will be read, and taken into consideration. Any kind of criticism is A-okay with me, and will also be taken into consideration.
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Chapters way too short bro but not a bad story just would have like them to be longer. Actually it's a pretty good story
I agree. Lengthen out your chapters and slow down your pace. Other than that, you got a good plot.
Thx, I'll be sure the next Chapters are longer. Thanks for commenting!!
sooo immortal dragon... that leads to one question in particulate
you gonna use Dragon Shouts or not?
That may come on as a newfound power later, but... for now, I'll stick to him trying to sort out his feelings.
Just a note to everyone, soon, after I end this story I will be releasing a new one, that will hopefully go up a lot faster. Thx for reading, and have a nice day!!
Honestly,I'm a little confused.
first, you gave the impression that Sevron's goal was to stop the war because it was causing imbalance in the universe or something, But then it takes almost no time at all for him to join up with celestia and start slaughtering griffins by the thousands.
Second, Why are they at war?, you never gave a legit reason as to why the ponies and griffins are fighting, in fact early on I thought you were going to make celestia the bad guy, because of her behaviour in the story being quite brutal and scheming particularly the part where she tells Luna and Cadence to clean up the survivors "before they can say anything".
And lastly, why is Sevron so concerned about the main six?, I know you say that he's their friend but he's barley spoken with them, because of this it makes no sense as to why he would be so enraged by Applejacks death when soldiers are dying left and right all around him.
That being said this is by no means a bad story, especially for a first one so keep at it
P.S it has just come to me that some of the criticisms above could be addressed in future chapters, if so then I retract them.
Don't worry, I plan on adding another story, for alternate perspectives, where the whole background and meaning of the war. And I hope that I'll be able to start it soon.