Dusty Road and the Four Tribes

Dusty Road travels far and wide,
seeking for creatures who try to hide.
Stories, long forgotten, tell
How the four tribes rose and fell.

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Comments ( 3 )

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Jadelynn_Opal

Jadelynn_Opal #1 · Jun 10th, 2014 · · ·

From valleys covered with mountain dew.

Voltage, Code Red, or Original?

A clean and healing power
Wich makes tree and flower

Other than that, I will say that you have beautiful imagery, but formatting leaves something to be desired, and some of the rhymes made me groan. Usually stanzas keep the same flow to it, and it's rather jarring when they don't. Also, it's bad form to finish a rhyme on a different subject from the first (starting a rhyme talking about earth, ending it talking about fire for example).

I can still see the effort put into it and it doesn't lessen the beauty of the imagery that much, so have a thumbs up.