An autistic brony who is the owner of an OC pony named Charming Thunder and a big fan of Star Wars.
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This story is a sequel to Equestria Wars Episode V: Revenge of the Dark Side
Malgus has been defeated and Charming Thunder helped Starswirl the Bearded reform the Crystal Knights in a brand new way. After an investigation team was at the castle of the two sisters, they found a piece of the remains of Nightmare Moon and a mysterious glove. Celestia is worried about the power it still possesses.
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Either Charming Thunder is your self-insert or you really like using a bland OC who's seemingly shoehorned into every single scene.
It reminds me of that Simpsons episode where Homer voices Poochie the dog. His suggestions were, when Poochie is on screen, everybody needs to talk to him. And when he's not there, everybody needs to ask where he is. This is how it feels reading about you... I mean your OC.
4555104 either that's a good thing or a bad thing.
4555919
It's definitely not good, so you don't really have much in the way of a choice now do you?
4556145 he is my oc character. I can use him in my stories if I want.
4557832
You can use whatever you want to use and nobody is going to stop you. Problem is that nobody seems to like him. He's bland, shoehorned in and serves as nothing more than your avatar in Equestria. I understand why you want to write about him. After all it's the closest you'll ever get to being there. The fact that you made him Celestia's nephew already means he's got the stink of the Stu all over him. Add to this the fact that he's always there to save the day and no plan or plot would work properly unless he was directly involved and you've got a full blown Gary Stu on your hands. And that's just not interesting reading to anybody other than yourself. However if your only reason for writing if for yourself and to hell what anybody else says then mission accomplished and you can ignore anything I say because in the end it doesn't matter.
If however you are writing to get views and you are writing for other people to like your stories you might want to consider dialing him back a bit.
And just to clarify, "OC" stands for "original character". Calling him an "oc character" is the same as calling him a "original character character" and that's just redundant.
4559831 I'd have to agree with you. I find Charming Thunder to be bland, annoying and a borderline Gary Stu. There's nothing interesting about him that makes him relatable to the average reader. Most people have flaws; Luke had flaws, Anakin (Whiny as he was) had flaws, Revan had flaws, Ulic Qel Droma had flaws. It makes a story all the more interesting when a character has to overcome their own emotions. If a story doesn't have that it makes him blander than a Droid (Wait, R2-D2, T3-M4, HK-47 and many other droids had more character). No offence intended but Charming Thunder isn't a good OC. I'd suggest going over the character again and figuring out his personality. He needs to have more than one negative personality trait. Hope you can fix these issues; Imperial Salesman out.
4640674 HOW DO YOU SUPPOSE I MAKE HIM BETTER?
4640982 Uh, I just gave some suggestions.
4645210 like what
4647466 Are you serious? Read my comment entirely
4647598 first of all, my oc overcame his emotions in episode 3 if you didn't READ IT. HE is not annoying. If he was, he would have the same personality as Pinky.
4666318 That's what I mean; I find him annoying because he's so god damn perfect. Perfect characters aren't interesting; they're boring and they ruin an otherwise great story. You need to give him negative personality flaws (Example: Loses temper easily, scared of heights, claustrophobia) something that would affect him negatively. And no; he cannot be rid of it. Believe me, even though I have gone up extremely high, I still haven't gotten rid of my fear. You can overcome it but you cannot get rid of it. Try and make him less of a blank emotionless doll that is perfect and give him positive and negative personality traits.
4559831
4640674
I love both of your assessments of the OC/Gary Stu phenomenon. It's exactly what I feel and what I fear the most when writing. I hope you both continue to try to help authors like sonic here because its nice to see people who are trying to give constructive criticism even if it's poorly received. Keep up your efforts, others will be far more receptive.
4713729 i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/2751971840/h0285B43B/
4917364 It's fine to write whatever you want, but when you post it to a public place, don't be surprised if you get criticism. Do what any good author does: take it and use it to better your craft.
I would have put king sombra's part in Charmings head well he was knocked out.
4917364 That right there, is pure ignorance. Daemon is giving perfectly valid advise on how to improve your boring as all hell character and your ignoring it like you dont care, (Which you probably dont)
Any good author should take critisism and use it to improve their story, not just throw it away and hope people dont notice the flaws of your OC.