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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I think I would love to see more of this
MORE WHERE WHY NO MORE WHY
tis good
Yes. This.
4519569
4516087
4515941
Thanks for the support. More is definitely coming, hopefully I will be able to release the next chapter on either Wednesday or Thursday.
sweet
Spike better kill shit. And realize that katanas are two handed. The magic in his armor allows for him to make copies. Or the swords.
4548917 Actually I never said they were katanas. Also it is an ability of the swords not the armor.
4549310 Oh. I thought they were kitanas because he made copies of himself, and it would have more power to have a two handed sword than a one handed. What swords are they?
4551499 Honestly it doesn't matter too much for the sake of the story. I was either picturing hand and a half swords like the one used in the Eragon series or a katana as you mentioned. Either way they are swords designed for either one-handed or two-handed use. Also expect to get another chapter sometime in the middle or the week, probably Wednesday or Thursday and hopefully it'll make up for the slowness of the story so far.
4551667 Why is moilnijr your cover art?
4551679 You'll find out.
This is scary stuff
what were you thinking when you wrote this man/women!!!!
If you don't mind
Green lantern light.
4568124 Uh.... not exactly where I was going but that's cool too xD
4568108 Who?
4567972 I'm trying to go for a slightly realistic war story so yeah....
Oh I'm new in this site
4568438 I was just wondering what were you talking about it your comment
I was shocked by how you wrote these fights that all
4568482 Yeah well thanks for the comment, there's a reason why I went for the mature rating. Also I was bored and noticed that you seem to like spike stories and if you do I recommend the following ones:
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/6195/it-takes-a-village
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/184165/playing-the-scales
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/187458/lies-and-lyres
Wow thank you
4568508 yeah no problem. those three are by far my favorite Spike centered stories on this site, at least that I can remember. Also thanks for the favorite. (This goes for all ya'll who Favorited my stories)
Also anyone who wants to feel free to add this story to any groups you think are relevant. I don't use groups because they spam my feed really bad so it would be appreciated.
I think I just almost pee my self!!!
4581578 I'm sorry? Not exactly sure how to respond to that...
You scared me almost to that point
4581616 Not exactly sure why that particular chapter was scary but okay. I'm glad you're enjoying it at least.
You give Futtershy the ability to kill by saying some words that is why it scary
4581799 soo i recommend the anime called code geass that's where i ripped that from, not to mention the anime is awesome on its own.
So... out of random curiosity how do i have 15 favorites and only 9 likes on this story. It really confuses me how it works. Anyone care to shed some light on that?
4582115 No.
Nobody understands.
Probably because faves aren't faves, but trackers. The story got their attention, and they want to be there for every update. A like is validity of your efforts. They dont reconize this as the story worthy of a like.
4583185 thanks for explaining blacklight. I guess I'm just a weirdo then. I normally use the read later lists to track stories I am unsure of and only put stuff i really like on my favorites.
Wow..... dude this is...... AWESOME
4599466 glad you're enjoying it. I was kinda worried people would take offense to what I did to Rarity... but so far so good.
I liiiiiiiiiiiiiive! Glad to see people are liking the story. There are emotes!!!
Anyway, Crueler helped Omni write some of this, and Omni will probably put a disclamer to blame Crueler when the final chapter comes out. Crueler has no regrets.
This is terrible. I didn't say this earlier, and I should have. *takes deep breathe*
First comment, and the rest of this will be in my second comment of the chapter.
First, I noticed that you OP ed the mane 6 to the max. You tried to make a decent war fix, and you ruined it. This is my opinion, and I leave negative reviews instead of dislikes. The powers you have them, while awesome as fuck, took away as many feels as there could have been. Why did you give them that OP armor in the first place? They didn't technically need to fight at all. Twilight is an alicorn, and kicked serious ASS by herself when she had the power of all princesses. They should get off their lazy asses and end this right now. Also, about the armor, they kill people and get serious names from the enemies, making them not want to fight. That should have ended the war right there. Yet it stays.
Next, spike.
It,seems like he really doesn't need to be in the fic at all by this point. I like spike, really I do. Look at my favorites. Over ninety percent are spike based.
Sure, he has to fight a dragon, but can't fluttershy do it? She can just stare at him, and boom! New ally.
Several things, like raritys rape other things seemed unnecessary. She is one of the elements. If the guy had just killed her, maybe it would rend the ogre elements useless, and maybe their powers of death would ceace to,work. He was being a bigger idiot than everyone that worked on prototype 2. And he was a general? They don't let that SHIT happen, let alone indulge in it? Sure, dat plot, but he could have slit her throat. Before or after, really. She was an enemy. And why the hell was she not bounder something?
I like the story, but my comments are what is real.
Don't mean to hate.
4612772 Actually I really appreciate the feedback. To be honest it was starting to worry me that I was not getting any constructive criticism for my writing. I have said before and will say again I am actually a terrible writer, and honestly I never actually intended to write this story. This story is just a continuation of what I actually intended to write. So thank you.
4612936 Your welcome. And you're not as bad as you say. Writers tend to think they're terrible no matter how good they are. Trust me, I have no idea why my story, prototype: equestria has so many likes.
4612972 well I'm an engineering student meaning I write lab reports and things like that not stories, also if you could see my pre-edited stuff I'm quite sure you would agree with me.
4613074 Don't worry about it. Having an editor is a crucial part of writing.
The six or seven, whatever, should lose their armor powers. Sure, they're hopelessly outnumbered, but still. This isn't war, this is a massacre with surprising injury on the winning side. The elements of harmony themselves are a weapon of mass destruction, and fluttershy kinda uses some element power with her armor. Maybe if they used actual element powers instead of this weird black magic bullshit, this would be a more beleivable story.
Wait, this is beleuvale, but it is just unneasisarily op.
Like.
4633846
So my original intent with the ability of the armor is actually that the armor amplifies the natural abilities of the wearer to their natural extreme conclusion. As far as the “Dark Magic” goes, it is well known that Twilight can indeed use black magic. Nevertheless, here’s my reasoning as to why the others can do what they can. For one, this is a War in Equestria story meaning that the story will naturally be quite distant from actual cannon. The other reason the mane six and Spike can do what they have been doing is because of a fact I wanted to portray in this story, War changes people. War brings out the worst in every participant. In the case of six rather innocent ponies and a very innocent dragon, the change a massive amount of stress such as seen in war will magnify their less desirable traits at an extreme rate.
Also on the note of the mane 6 and Spike being OP. Remember that magic is present in Equestria which allows for some artistic license on my part. The main reason I did make them so powerful is that the original story was completely centered on this armor they are now using. Also to be honest in a war between ponies and griffons the griffons have so many advantages its actually hard to list them all, the abilities of the mane six and Spike are simply there to balance the scales.
As far as the elements of harmony being a weapon of mass destruction that is not actually true. In MLP, the elements of harmony never killed anything sentient. From my perspective, the elements represent a type of balance of nature of which death is not a part.
As far as Fluttershy confronting the dragon instead of Spike remember this, Fluttershy is terrified of dragons in the first place and Titanus is larger and more powerful than any dragon the mane six have encountered so far. Also if you remember the fall of Fillydelphia I specified that Titanus had some inherent magic immunity that prevented the unicorn defense force from killing him. Fluttershy’s ability is centered on talking with animals and magic. Titanus has a level of magic immunity and the experience and willpower to resist an assault by “The Stare”.
Hopefully this might alleviate any problems you might have with the story, and if it doesn’t well I guess just chalk it up to me being an extremely inexperienced writer.
4636844 Actually, the elements are made to balance out the good and bad and mostly protect equestria and possibly other places in the world. The elements haven't killed anyone in the show, but the writers never explain shit so there is really no known thing the elements can do. Besides, they have blasted nmm into nothing, turned a pretty much God into stone, gave a thing that gave a hideous transformation to the bearers and fucked tirek. Up. And other stuff.
And what kind of magic is summoning a Hydra?
4636899 Well honestly beside the one General I haven't portrayed any of the griffons as "evil". Also apparently my descriptions suck, the Hydra is the name of Applejack's weapon which is a metallic whip with 4 heads i.e. hydra
4636916 Should have said or described it as that at least once.
4637073 I did describe it in chapter 4 when Applejack uses it for the first time, but I guess my description wasn't detailed enough. Sorry
Its ok>>4637086