• Published 1st Jun 2014
  • 15,438 Views, 984 Comments

Twilight: The Gamer - ilbgar



Twilight dies, then finds out her life's a game. Chaos ensues.

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Time Skip: Wedding.

Author's Note:

I'm taking he advice of a commentator and skipping straight to the wedding. I'll list her Stats and the changes to her Skills of course. After this, I'm starting a new, though similar, story following the Omake that was the previous chapter. I'll be making it the first chapter of the new story., with some minor edits.

Twilight's current Level was 87. Her Stats were now as follows:

'Stats: Str 100, Int 144: Per 100, Agi 85, Con 144: Dtr Rst: 30, Will 71, Regen 106: Bat Con 100, Wis 69, Chr 71, Lck 69. HP 3245, Shd 50, MP 3497.
At 100+, Per allows you to accurately guess what others are thinking.
At 100+, Bat Con allows you to treat being beheaded as if it were nothing. You're basically immortal unless every last shred of your body is destroyed.
Detriment Resistance. Dtr Rst. Your body's resistance to negative impacts such as poor diet, parasites, toxins, etc. Base: 10.
At 30+, Dtr Rst allows you to resist ordinarily lethal amounts of poison and parasites are usually going to die if they enter your body. You'll probably never get sick again.'

She raised Blade-wielding, Positive/Negative Magic, Resilience, and Unpossessable to 1000 with the combined Skill points from her Level ups and Quests.

'Blade-wielding. At 1000, no being in existence can out-duel you in a contest of pure skill with a blade.
Positive Magic. At 1000, you can bend Positive Magic to your will no matter whose it is.
Negative Magic. At 1000, you can bend Negative Magic to your will no matter whose it is.
Resilience. At 1000, you could survive a planetary explosion, though you'd take 1000 damage and you still can't breath in space so surviving the planet getting blown up would be a short-lived victory.
Unpossessable. At 1000, you essentially cannot be possessed or manipulated. Illusions can fail at your mere presence.'

After she got to Canterlot, she played along with baseline until she reached Canterlot, then she had Shadow Clones take care of the wedding preparations while she looked for the real Cadance. She had trouble finding her old foal-sitter because the crystals in the caves beneath Canterlot which hid magic and made teleporting nigh impossible.

Still, she managed to find her on the second day and then when she confronted the impostor during the rehearsal, she was backed up by the real-deal.

After Chrysalis was dealt with, she was more than happy to take care of the wedding preparations herself, and she was quite happy to see the wedding this time.

She was concerned about not-knowing the future anymore, but that was how life was supposed to be. If all else failed, she could always reload from a Save.

Perhaps she ought to explain the game to the girls soon. They could head into the unknown together.

Comments ( 83 )

sad to see the progress of this story ceasing, but i do find the details of this new story somewhat interesting.

The quality of your writing was not the problem, it is that the story really began to diverge from what it started as and therefore what people were expecting. You labeled the story as a crossover, and reasonably early had it cross briefly with a wide variety of other fictions, and so readers came to expect this level of crossover; but then it effectively just became a Kingdom Hearts 2 crossover, breaking expectations for the worse.

Had fun. Goodbye.

Well I'm already reading the gamer so I'll pass on this rewrite. I liked how it was going until you went into full blown crossover. Sad to see this version of the story getting cut short.

This fic lost its' initial "thing" that it had going on... which was the fic being a game. Then you just decided out of nowhere to have her fight battles in crossovers just to satisfy your will to play against said characters, then you decided all of a sudden again to go to the kingdom hearts universe and have her have a keyblade. Then all of a sudden again you took the advice of one of your commentators ((not saying it is bad listening to feedback)) and skipped to the wedding.

I feel like I am being dragged down an adventure that is the "Writer's imagination whim". The greatest part of the story that was the wedding itself ((which I suppose that it was the time Twilight would have to confront her fears in an epic battle of epicness...)) got skipped.

Bottom line is that this fic had potential and I was fully backing it up in hopes of seeing shenanigans of Twilight and the rest of the gang dealing with the game, or dealing with the adventures of Mlp fim as if they were a game. You started to do so with the Gala tickets but it was then that the fic started to go downhill... you decided it was good to explore different universes of Twilight and I agree it's always good but you never stayed too long on these universes to make me feel something. Still I thought this was fine so long as we got to see the main storyline evolve but then you decided to go to crossover battles or whatever and then you decided to have her randomly go to the Kingdom hearts verse.

You skipped the reactions to life being a game saying "Twilight dealt with it calmly." which I thought was fair. Then you started making a child OP enough to do stuff the Royal Guard or Shining Armor himself couldn't do, which while OP I thought was relatively fair because Celestia's prodigy student and game mechanics being overpowered. Then you decided to pit her against Nightmare Moon which while okay was pushing it but you still used the elements. Then in the crossover battles you pitted her against Discord and she... won if I remember correctly? Okay there I thought you're joshing me because you don't want Twilight to lose. It's... *sigh* from there it was just a rollercoaster with destination your imagination. Which means your fic stopped having a clear purpose.

You decided to skip the Kingdom Hearts Arc that you were building ((or scraped it?)) BECAUSE REASONS! And you didn't even tell us what happened there.

Oh come on! You had such a great story, and then your just going to shit out an ending and make a less appealing reboot! Please reconsider, and just tweak this one to make it more streamlined. Maybe put the side avatars in their own stories. You will never get as many people to read this new idea with anthro.

5769527 I agree. Maybe make "The annals of Blademaster Twilight" as a side story or even just side chapters. This story has so much potential. All you need are some minor tweaks.

5769489
I'm sorry but it looks like this might be it for me. I can't do this anymore. The fic just went downhill from the Kingdom heart crossover. I realize however that a large turning point in the story was when you had Twilight attack and beat Nightmare Moon and Discord. There is standard OP for protagonists, but then there is OP with no reason that breaks a story. There was no point in Chrysalis or anything now.

Had you kept her at a lower power there were plenty he could have done without crossovers.
A few ideas:
Obviously discord (could have made her power go down every minute she didn't find him),
The nightmare taking over celestia,
Grogar,
The snooze,
Player invasions from other universes running a similar concept to her own predicament (like dark souls or even friendly visits. You could have included a party function for that),
Void terrors that came from between the universes,
Gaia coming to send Canterlot down the mountain after they start on plans to cut down the Everfree,
The beast (biblical) coming out of the Everfree,
(Side story) twilight being taken over by the nightmare while her crossover friends try to stop her,
The best of all of these is that it is in Equestria!
You are not a bad writer mate. In fact your pretty good. I think you just lost sight of the fact that this is an MLP fic.

I'll keep it tracked but for now I'm taking my like back.

Edit: nvrmind untracked. Fic got canceled.
Im sorry it had to come to this mate. It never really was our goal to make you angry enough to cancel this fix.For that I apologize. It really was amazing.
Good luck on the stories from now on though. I'll miss this fic.

Honestly, i feel the nods to the other universe avatars were enough. I mean it was fun trying to figure out what avatar was a reference to what media without looking it up. AU twilight avatars were actually good with exploring the other possibilities twilight had in her own universe. However, As was said those only had half a chapter dedicated to them before she either moved to another avatar or went back to the baseline. Even then the AU's were only brought up again in a paragraph when she revisited them just briefly explaining what skills she got from those AUs.

As for the actual anime/manga cross overs. If you wanted to explore those in detail they kind of deserve their own separate side-story especially if you are going to spend several chapters on that one cross over. I was kind of under the impression that she wasn't actually going to visit the other media universes or you were going to do something similar to what you did with the King Arthur universe if you did visit them.

Wow. Just... Wow. You really dropped the ball at the end. I have nothing to say that
5769521 didn't already state. It kinda felt like you were lashing out at the reader with the last chapter or so. Again, you dropped the ball. This story had so much potential. I would have loved to see how another character affected hellsing or kingdom hearts, as another story. May this story, like so many others, rest with the spirit in the sky.


I have to agree with the others here. If you want to salvage the situation, I recommend moving the Kingdom Heart/Crossover sections from this fic into a separate story.

whut..why start over? i like this better..just the kingdom hearts cross was dragging ooon

So I'm reading this, and Wow... the arena and the numbers pretty much ended me, dood.

I failed to continue after the Arena chapter and Twilight was lv. 16 and she could handle anything that wasn't Celestia, Luna, or Nightmare Moon? And She calls Discord out on being broken when she herself is stupidly broken?

Like I love me a game where you can level to infinity but Twilight is pretty much a walking legion. Oddly enough, I'm okay with Twilight being OP, but evidently this has proven that even I have limits to how OP Twilight should be, dood. Also I will note that I visibly cringed when Naruto appeared because holy shit does that guy need to stop appearing in crossovers, dood.

I will attempt this fic again when I steady myself, dood. I think this is a good fic, but it felt like it flailed out of control at the Gala Tickets or Griffon to Brush off... which ever part has the new versions of Twilight where she could be a Paladin and allow her access to her bits/XP when she changes characters, dood. And I think I missed how that part worked as I am under the belief that Twilight could only switch to other Avatars when she 'died', not that she can jump to different Avatars at will.

It's hard for me to bitch at that because it's a mechanic in Disgaea, but at least there the character is back down to Lv. 1 with some of his/her stats getting carried over and a complete loss of the resource NEEDED to do so, dood.

Rant over, good story but it feels like a train that's constantly running over pennies or stray rocks on the tracks, dood.

Okay, that does It! Every time I take somebody's suggestion, everybody else hates me for it, so I'm doing what I want from now on!
...That aside, I am very sorry for how this ended up. I guess I just got one too many comments that boiled down to 'This has turnerd into a pile of stupid and bad.' and I gave up. I was indeed planning on the new version and they're anthro in it because of something else from Gurren Lagann and a litle bit to distance it from this one,

5769830 nuuu
pls continue
you've gotten back on track w/ the orignal story
everthing is AwEsOmE naow

Gah!! My heart!!! Canceled!!!! *cry* Well I understand why I guess. I happened to be loving where you were originally going with it all, then you put in those weird parts and this way out there time skip. I'm kinda hoping though that you go back even though you canceled. I want to see Twi overcome her darkness and fight along with Sora. There were other "game" options that you had up that would have been so cool too!!!! Well I can only hope that you change your mind, you do what'cha got'ta do but I will hope :pinkiesad2:
P.S. I know that people post and hate isn't nice but I believe that you should write a story how you want it to go 'cause sometimes we the people don't know what we truly want :twilightblush: Plus I can't write to save my life but I liked where and how it was going and I couldn't have been the only one :twilightsmile:

Seriously i just started this earlier and i don't even remember WHERE i found it at but i loved every second of it. Even the KH stuff. Now I see its canceled and i want to cry.

This fic was excellent while it lasted. It was an honor serving with you gentlemen.
fc00.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2011/167/6/0/rainbow_dash_salute_by_atomicgreymon-d3bo0dx.png
In regards to the cancel, I quote a famous line:

i cri evrtim

5769830 Probably what you should have done from the start anyway. I still look forward to whatever you make in the future, and I will check from time to time to see the potential remake of this.

5769830
While I may or may not have opinions on how you chose to develop your story, I regret that the feedback you received ended up discouraging you. Here's hoping things go smoother for you next time. I know I'm looking forward to seeing what else you have in mind.

5769830 I'm confused. So you are going to make a kinda sorta remake/sequel doing everything however you want to while abandoning this. or are giving up completely.

Being a fan of this fic from the start i hope its the first and not the second.

The internet will never agree with what you do completely. Someone will always love it, someone will always hate it.

Write what you want to write, man, and how you want to write it. At the end of the day, you are the one making all the effort. As annoyed as I can get about stories myself sometimes, the point of fan fiction is to have fun making stories from source material you love.

Though I suppose that, if you are going to go by suggestions, I would suggest you go by suggestions that are made in aggregate rather than ones made by individuals ...thus ... uh ... invalidating this advice...

*cough*

5770369 Already on the former.

I'm an Avid fan of crossovers that take Character X and have them interfere in series Y, so I hope that can continue. Don't listen to the haters. As they say, if you try to please everyone, you end up pleasing no one.

5770247 Excellent compared to WHAT?! I have read many other Fanfictions. MANY. This thing doesn't have good story, action, writing. How is THIS rated 'Excellent'? Lots of time skips, skimming over events, stats and game stuff that have no meaning and no referance compared to anything else.

It had a nice idea. Yes. It could have gone so many ways. I even commented a long time ago he could have had each Avatar, and what happens to them, being a different story and adventure. Instead of just a little footnote: 'Twilight also visited X Avatar for a bit to train some. Got Z, Y, and W stats and skills. Also went back to the main Avatar to hang out with her friends when she was lonely.'; Could have been entire stories in the different worlds, or different Arches in the same story.

But still. Excellent? Really?

5770615 That's an awfully long-winded comment for something that could have easily been ignored. Just as well, excellent probably wasn't the right word, but quite frankly, I don't really care. It still holds a place with me since I am a gamer myself.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! YOU FREAKING CANCELLED THIS!

Now that I got that little bit out of the way... You should have just continued this and made the KH crossover part a side story to this, then continued this as normal... But since you didn't and instead cancelled this, you have lost a good deal of respect that you had from me.

Not to sound butthurt or whatnot, but you had a good thing here, and you just pissed it away...

~Crystalline Electrostatic~

5769830 Dont become a blind tool of everyone's suggestions. Think for yourself.

5770640 It's because I see so many praising it, saying it's Great and Excellent, when in all honestly it isn't. And they will probably all say the same thing you did, 'I don't really care'. But that's the point! You all don't care if it's actually good or not, only that the idea behind it is something you liked. For you personally, it's that it's like a game. For 5770461 It's the fact that it's a crossover.

But come on, don't freaken LIE about it. Say how YOU like it, but don't class the story as being 'Great' and 'Excellent' When it really isn't!

It just makes me want to :facehoof:. It isn't a BAD story compared to Cupcakes, or most clopfics and some horrible first time writing works. And the idea is INTERESTING, and somewhat UNIQUE. But the actual 'story' and how it was handled was BAD.

An example is Twilight being too OP and Mary Sue in power. Being a gamer myself, and having read a lot of stories I know this is very bad both from a game point of view, and a story point of view.

Story because it makes it uninteresting. What will happen next? what challange will she face? Oh wait! It doesn't matter as she will easily kick it's ass without a sweat. It's why stories that actually will kill off important side and main charactors off are some of the best. Because you have NO idea what will happen next, ANYTHING is possible.

Game wise it's because people like a challange. Unless the gameplay is very very bad, and the story is epicly awesome, so people don't actually WANT to use the gameplay, most people are going to be playing it on the harder settings for more of a challange. Even casual players will play on higher settings to get more fun out of a game. Being overpowered to the point of everything being rediculesly easy.... What's the point in playing? Your just walking/running from point A to point B, swatting some bugs along the way... no fun in that unless, like I said, the Gameplay is horribly bad or the story is so awesomely good it's all you want.

5770835 I agree with that. The biggest problem was that he had Twilight choose the easiest setting. Even I go for normal at the very least on most games with difficulty levels. In fact, that's the only reason she seemed OP: it was the easiest setting.

5769521

Nio, you really could have stated that with less vitriol. I'm sure we all agree with you, but at the end of the day the story is his. We can tell him where we feel he's going wrong and what he could do better, but lashing out at him and expecting him to either cave in and comply simply because he's being yelled at when he's the only one doing any actual creating and effort in relation to this is counter-productive. We can do better than this as experienced and responsible readers. You wouldn't go off like that to someone's face, would you?

5770835

You need to calm the fuck down. We've got people going off on the author already, now we've got you going off on the readers for liking the story, while you consistently insult the story as a whole. This is not criticism, so don't even try to play it off as such, you are attacking people and you need to shut up and sit down.

AAAAURGH canceled NOOOOOOO!!! i wanted to see your kingdom harts arch :fluttercry: thanks internet mabey there should be a blog for this are something. your story was empowered in a way that was almost like just having enough battery's to keep Freddy and his gang out of the control room.

5769830
I love that you are gonna do your own thing now. I wont read it cause I can't stand anthro, but I will always respect your decision to see the story through as you intend rather than as how someone else wants it to go.

That said,there was alot of potential here and while I'm sad to see it die, I know you'll only improve from here.

Keep on writing, because you never know who's day you'll make just a little brighter.
-Santa

I raged so much just now. :fluttercry:

5771152 I've taken your advice and edited my comment. See and respond accordingly. In ANY case... I've followed the author to see where he will go with said future fic.

5771170 I am not 'attacking' readers. I am just pointing out that this story isn't good, and that readers shouldn't lie and say it's better than it actually is, just because they liked the idea or concept even tho it isn't that good, and pointing out why it isn't good to prove my point.

When is telling people not to lie, and proving that what they said was a lie, a bad thing?

Also, I never said they can't like the story, or insulted them or attacked them for liking it. Just them lieing about the story.

If the story isn't good, but a lot of people like the idea it's going for it and tell the Author the story IS good, then the Author won't improve the story, fix mistakes, or get better. Because why would they? The story is already good! It's not like it has to be epic, great, world reknown. Just 'good' is enough for them.

Telling the truth, that the story is NOT good and needs improvements, and telling about COULD be improved, is always better as the Author now knows there is a problem and can try to improve.

But more than that, an Author should NOT change things based on just 1 single comment. Pay attention, see it through there eyes, see if things actually CAN be better and HOW. Read it more of a guide and not a 'follow this or else! it's 100% true and will improve 110%!'. EVERYTHING is subjective. It's up to the Author to follow advice from a commenter.

However, there is a difference from the story being bad because 'This fight needs more action!' and 'I couldn't follow the fight, it was too fast paced and couldn't follow along'. The first one is stating what they want more of in the story, not actually improving it. The second one is actually a problem, and can be improved and fixed.

For this story, as I said before there is a problem with skimming/time skips. Where it will just mention 'Hey, Twilight went off screen and did X, Y, and Z' and completely gloss over the events. That is a BAD thing in writing. Especially in writing like this where those events, X Y and Z, could be things we the readers actually want to see and read about.

The story feels very rushed because of a lot of that, with many 'events' happening all at once in a very small chapter. Which is why I gave two advice, either making multiple stories about each Avatar, or making entire story archs, aka many multiple chapters, about them so it really focuses on them and isn't as rushed and cramped. Either option could have worked, tho the many stories one would have been more suited for Readers, as then they can choose which ones they wanted to read and which they didn't.

Again, I am pointing out flaws and giving advice. How is this attacking readers again?

5771430

Thanks Nio. No reason for you to get a bad rep for something like this, you're usually one of the more level-headed ones.

Please don't give up on this story. I'm actually enjoying the gaming elements of this story. I really enjoy Gamer stories.

5771506 I know... I probably should have learned my lesson when I got banned in Mlpforums that I should never type my anger out against people. I am sorry.

HOORAY FOR BASELINE! :pinkiehappy:
While i personally am glad for the return, I hope you're still doing the stories you want, ilbgar. :duck:

A refreshingly... rare story. Good job.

DF

I have to admit that when she took the trip to Kingdom Hearts and I checked out the newest chapter and found that she was still there I stopped reading.

I was going to wait until it was past that stage, suck up my dislike, and plow through the KH chapters to get to the goody-goodness that awaited me beyond, but that obviously won't be happening since the story's cancelled.

I am interested in your revamp of it, though I personally hope the ponies won't be anthro as they supposedly (I never saw a sign of it) were in the omake.

5773477 No. Black belts can be beaten. 1000/1000 means a battle of Skill is suicide for her opponent.

Is this story really cancelled? :pinkiesad2: What's the reason? I liked it, or are you just going to rewrite it? :trixieshiftright:

Noooooo! Why was it canccancelled!

A pity you decided to cancel the story. I was drawn to it because I liked your premise: Twilight's life being a game. When you went astray from that with the crossover I felt a bit cheated both because you dropped the premise I wanted to read about and because the arc dragged on too much.

About the Kingdom Hearts setting, while I don't dislike it I don't know it enough to like it either. With adding a non-MLP setting so suddenly you risked alienating your readership, a risk that was realized with some readers (myself included, I must say). Next time you intend to do something like this, try to write for the people who don't know about KH (or any non-MLP setting for that matter).

Sad to see this story get canceled I really am. I enjoyed this version a lot. I don't think I'll read the reboot tho. You can only get better from here.

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