Let's Try This Again
Twilight started the day the same way as the first time, she studied what material she could find that she hadn't already covered, then left Spike to organize after promising him all the jewels he could eat later. Since she now had over 1000 MP, she could do that for two Spikes.
She didn't get the quest pop-up this time, but she did get the enemies appearing on the min-map, though not the experience this time, it seemed she only got the Exp and Bits if the opponents weren't some of those she'd fought and beaten before.
She found the fights child'splay to win compared to before, and they'd been pretty easy then. She didn't get a scratch on her way over, and wasn't even breathing hard or late when she got there.
This was a bit of a gamble, if they were sufficiently cowed by her display, the nobles would leave her alone, but if they were really afraid, they'd try and pull something. Framing her for some crime or other and demand that she be placed in jail or having her magic stripped, without a trial if they could manage, and by then it would be too late, though she could just load her last save and avoid that if necessary, but she'd really prefer not to be stuck in a loop where she'd have try to avoid that and load her previous save if it failed.
She arrived at her parents house right on time for her weekly visit, and gave a perfect impression that nothing was wrong. She was a terrible liar verbally, she could barely even omit details if she was directly questioned, but she was quite good at masking her feelings when necessary.
"So how was your day?" Night Light asked.
"Not bad so far. How have you guys been?" she asked, she'd been in other Avatars' worlds for so long, that she was a bit unsure just what her family's situation had been when she 'left,' for lack of a better word. She'd have to remedy that.
"Shining Armor's been doing well in the Royal Guard, he'll make a Lieutenant in the next couple years." Midnight Velvet said, a hint of pride entering her voice.
"I'm sure he'll reach Captain eventually." Twilight said, being absolutely sure, since he'd done so before, though not yet in this world's timeline.
"Actually, there was something we wanted to talk to you about Twilight." Night Light said.
Twilight had rather thought they were hiding something, she'd gotten pretty good at reading others expressions and body language during her time as Politically Savvy. She wondered how bad the news was. She couldn't tell because the two had some practice controlling their expressions and body language.
"Go on." she said, letting her calm smile slip into a neutral expression.
"The other nobles have been pestering us to make you join up with one of them. They just want you to try and get to Celestia herself, of course." Midnight Velvet began.
"I'd figured as much." Twilight responded, might as well tell them, they were going to find out anyway if they already knew about the fact that the nobles besides them were after her for influence.
"You knew?!" both her parents asked at the same time.
"They'd approached me with offers, but I'd rejected everyone's, staying as neutral as anyone in a noble house with a close affiliation with Princess Celestia can. I've been doing some thinking, and I decided that I was declaring my loyalty to Celestia over any noble house. Unfortunately, that includes ours, I can't make exceptions or they'll all think they can buy my loyalty." Twilight explained.
Her parents looked sad and more than a little disturbed.
"When did you get so skilled at politics?" her father asked.
"The princess taught me the basics." she said with a shrug. True, though it was a different version of the princess, and there was a significant amount more than the basics taught by her mentor in the subject.
She didn't think they really needed to know that though, they looked freaked out enough as it was.
"So, you wanted our blessing or something?" Night Light asked tiredly, his face portraying a need for alcohol in the near-future.
"Yes, I didn't want to just walk up and say 'oh hey, I decided I'd be pledging my allegiance to Celestia over you guys without telling you first.'" the corners of her mouth turned upwards in something that might have been a smile. "Yeah, that wouldn't be awkward at all, not that this isn't." she said.
"Well, you'll have to tell your brother, but we're okay with it. We're aren't happy, but we aren't going to try and stop you if you think it's necessary." Midnight Velvet said.
Twilight smiled in relief. "Thanks, that's a load off." she said, visibly sagging as tension left her. She may be good with politics, but she was not as good at handling disappointment from ponies she actually knew. They tried their best to enjoy the rest of their time together that day, despite the heavy mood of earlier.
After Twilight left, she went over to the Royal Guard's barracks to talk to her elder brother. She found Shining Armor sparring with another member of the guard. She waited in the background for him to finish, watching him and the other guard.
She noticed that Shining Armor's strength and speed were above-average, and his shields were stupidly powerful in comparison to the other unicorns spells, but his magical offense was relatively weak, even in comparison to the other unicorn's. However, his technique was a great deal better.
His opponent was slightly larger and stronger, and had a stronger magical offense with a weaker defense. She noticed that Shining Armor seemed to be winning, chipping away at his opponent. The other unicorn was unable to get past her brother's defenses, and so couldn't land a blow.
Her brother's weakness was that his offense was weak, if his opponent could break through his defenses, he would be all but defenseless since he'd take damage far more quickly than his opponent. The other unicorn's weakness was his weak defense, which left him open to attack. She was used to cataloging the weaknesses of fighters she saw sparring from the Swordsmare Avatar.
Once he won and the crowd of congratulators dispersed, she approached him. She felt rather like she was intruding on his life right now, but she'd prefer to tell him about her decision personally. It would be best to nip any potential misunderstandings in the bud.
"Nice moves." she commented.
"Thanks, I-" he turned to her, and did a double-take. "Twily? how long have you been watching?" he asked, surprised.
"Since about five minutes ago." she answered honestly. "Anyway, there's something I want to talk to you about." she said more seriously.
He noticed the change in her demeanor, and they went to his quarters. "So what's this about?" he asked.
"Well, I'm sure Mom and Dad told you about the nobles trying to get to the princess through me, to counter them, I've decided to officially declare my loyalty to the princess over any noble house, with the inclusion of ours." she explained.
He stared at her for a full 5 seconds, before asking "Have you thought this through?"
She nodded. "I've given it a lot of thought, and if I don't do this, it could just keep escalating until they decide to hold our parents hostage or something similar." Twilight responded.
"Wow, you have a really low opinion of the nobility." Shining Armor noted.
"A side-effect of their repeatedly attempting to bribe me. Anyway, I thought it best to tell you myself." Twilight responded. "So... are we good?" she asked.
Shining Armor thought it over for a minute. Then sighed. "Alright, if you think it's best, then go ahead." he said.
The reason that they were so hesitant, was that if she said she was loyal to Celestia over her noble house, she was going to have to spend less time with them, because that would compromise her position as being loyal to the princess over anypony else.
She had buried herself completely in her studies and only rarely come home in baseline, so it shouldn't be so bad. She was sure that she'd get used to it again.
***The day before the 1000th Summer Sun Celebration***
She was in the library, reading and waiting for the princess to send the letter. She was starting to get worried, maybe the princess didn't really believe her when Twilight told her that her life was actually a game. Maybe she thought Twilight was unhinged and, had merely shown her a convincing illusion that she explained with a delusion and who was therefore not to be trusted with all of Equestria's safety. No, she shook her head, that was silly, the princess trusted her.
She didn't notice several hairs were coming out of place for no apparent reason as she went back and forth. Her theory for why it became increasingly messy when her mental state declined, even if it had been perfectly straight 10 minutes ago, was that her own ludicrous amounts of magic caused it to reflect her mental state. It was a similar principle to how Celestia and Luna's manes were permanently moving in a usually-nonexistent breeze.
She soon had her unfounded fears assuaged when Spike coughed up Celestia's letter. "A letter from the Princess? I wonder what it's for..." he cleared his throat. "It says, 'My dearest, most faithful student Twilight, I need you to supervise the preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration happening in Ponyville this year.
I have another task for you as well, please try and make some friends. There's more to a young pony's life than studying and politics, and the town's full of friendly ponies.'"
He pulled out another slip of paper that was with the letter. "'PS: I've sent the checklist of preparations with the letter, you'll be staying the night in the town library and I'll take you and Spike back with me to Canterlot after the festivities.'" Spike added as he read the postscript.
'Main Quest. Oversee the Celebration. Check on each part of the preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration and become acquainted with the other five element bearers.'
"I guess we should pack for an overnight stay then." Twilight said. She spelled a clone into existence. "Pack while I say goodbye to our family." she ordered it.
Her sister rolled her eyes and muttered, "I've got all your memories, I know what to do." before going to do so. That spell would leave her fairly drained, but it was well worth it to cut down on things to do. She'd let the clone take care of packing, while she took Spike to say goodbye to her parents, brother, and Cadance.
About half an hour and four teleports later, she was getting on the chariot, her clone popped itself as soon as it was done packing for their stay and loading up the chariot. She and Spike rode on it towards the familiar sight of Ponyville. "Aw, cheer up Twilight, we're staying in the library." Spike said.
Twilight was actually very excited to see her friends again after so long, and had been keeping her expression carefully neutral so as not to seem excited for no apparent reason.
"Oh, sorry Spike, it's just that I don't understand why she's having me do this. If she needed to have somepony check on the celebration, wouldn't a member of the guard be a better choice since they are pretty much universally regarded with respect, while most ponies outside of Canterlot won't have even heard about me?" she asked.
"I think you're selling yourself short a little bit on that last part, you're the student of Princess Celestia, you might not be a household name, but you are famous." Spike reassured her.
He put a claw on his chin in thought. "I guess it is kind of strange that she'd send you, but maybe that's why. Most ponies here won't care about you being her student, so you can make some real friends here." Spike rationalized.
"You were planning on trying to make some friends, right?" Spike asked, suspicious that she might try and rush through checking the preparations to avoid social contact as much as possible. She had essentially been doing so, staying in the library and studying, only coming out to buy groceries.
"Of course. It was a direct order from the princess. I have to at least try." she answered. To this, Spike nodded, satisfied.
They got off the chariot once it had landed, thanked the pegasi Royal Guards, and turned to the chaotic, but homey, hamlet. Ponies of all ages were going all over town, busy getting ready for the celebration.
As per baseline, Pinkie was walking towards them.
"Right, I guess now's as good a time to start as any." she said, suddenly nervous as Pinkie approached. She hadn't seen any of them in decades from her point of view and they hadn't even met her yet from their perspective. What's more, she'd never really understood how Pinkie did what she did, who knew how it had reacted to the game?
"Ahem, hello, I'm Twilight Sparkle, what's your name?" Twilight asked, smiling nervously. She knew Pinkie's name of course, but there was no way she could have normally.
"I'm Pinkie Pie, your Stats are pretty high huh?" she suddenly gasped. "Oh! I've got to get everything ready!" Pinkie shot off much like baseline.
Once Twilight's brain restarted, she giggled, which turned into chuckles, which turned into full-blown laughter that sounded very slightly unhinged. "Well, that was different. Come on Spike, we have to check out the preparations." Twilight said, smiling widely.
Spike, more than a little freaked-out, nodded. Most ponies ignored what had just happened. Ponyville was a weird, weird place. That was nothing major.
They started with the food again, Twilight had calmed down to the point she was back to normal by the time they got there. She once again saw Applejack applebucking trees when she got there. "Good afternoon, my name is Twilight Sparkle, and I was sent here to check on the food for the celebration." Twilight said, handling the vigorous hoofshake much better this time, and bringing her hoof to a complete stop once Applejack let go.
"Well how do ya' do miss Twilight. I'm Applejack, a pleasure to make your acquaintance. We here at Sweetapple Acres sure do like making new friends." AJ said.
"Uh, right. About the food?" Twilight asked awkwardly.
"Of course, I'll get some samples right away." AJ said, before moving over to metal triangle and ringing it while yelling. "Soup's on, everypony!"
After the stampede of Applejack's relatives dropped Twilight and Spike at a table that was soon covered in apple related foods as AJ introduced her family.
"I'd say that they're already part of the family." AJ put her hoof on Twilight's shoulder as she said this.
"Well, we can't stay long, we have to check on everything else before nightfall." Twilight said.
"But you'll stay for brunch, right?" Applebloom asked, a kicked puppy expression on her face.
Twilight responded by picking up a slice of pie and saying, "Well, I guess 15 minutes won't hurt." the whole family cheered.
Twilight managed not to give herself a stomachache this time, and had a short conversation with the year-rounder family members here.
She was on her way a few minutes later than baseline, but she was okay with that.
When she reached the spot she'd been bowled over in during the baseline, she asked Spike. "Weather's next, right?"
He nodded. "There's supposed to be a pegasus pony named Rainbow Dash clearing the clouds." Spike looked up. Twilight did as well, making sure Spike wasn't in the way.
"Well, then this Rainbow Dash is slacking off for some reason." Twilight said, conjuring up a pile of pillows to block a certain prismatic pegasus from crashing into her.
"Thanks for the save, but I resent that!" Rainbow Dash said.
"Okay, so what were you doing then? My name's Twilight Sparkle by the way." Twilight said.
"Practicing for the Wonderbolts! I've always wanted to be one!" Rainbow Dash said.
Twilight sighed. "I hate to bust your bubble, but they'd never accept a pegasus who can't keep the sky clear over a small town for a single day." Twilight deadpanned.
"Hey, I could clear this sky in ten seconds flat if I wanted to!" RD said hotly.
"Alright." Twilight conjured up a stopwatch. "I'll time you. 1, 2, 3, go on 3, okay?" she asked.
"Fine with me." RD smirked, readying her wings.
"1...2...3!" Twilight called, starting the stopwatch at the same instant.
RD was off, tearing through the clouds.
She got back with milliseconds of finishing.
"10 seconds flat." RD said, smirking.
"Nope." Twilight responded.
"What?!" RD asked.
"9.97 seconds, you did better than 10 seconds flat." Twilight said, smiling.
"Why are you smiling like that? I won." RD asked, confused.
"Because you just cleared all the clouds like I wanted." Twilight said, still smiling.
RD paused, the laughed. "Heh, you got me. Nice one, we should hang out sometime." RD said, before flying away.
"That was amazing! She's like the you of pegasi!" Spike said.
"Basically. What's next on the list?" Twilight asked. She wondered how meeting Rarity would go since her hair was just fine this time.
"Decorations, a unicorn named Rarity, she'll probably be in the town hall putting them up right now." Spike said after checking the list.
"That's where we're going next then." Twilight said, putting Spike on her back. She walked over there with minimal incident.
"Beautiful...!" Spike breathed as they entered and got a good look at the decorations. Huh, a few touches she didn't remember here and there. Butterfly effect of the changes she'd made in the timeline probably.
"Yes, the decor is nice, and I thought your crush was Moondancer." Twilight responded, saying the second half quietly so Rarity couldn't hear.
"Well, I mean uh..." Spike stammered.
"Just don't let one find out about the other." Twilight said, smiling slightly as she approached Rarity.
"Hello there, the princess sent me to check on the decorations, but since they look great I guess there isn't really any need to stick around and get in your hair." Twilight said, knowing that the mention of the princess would make Rarity connect the dots to her being from Canterlot.
Rarity gasped, "You were sent by the princess? You're from Canterlot?" she asked.
"Yes, to both." Twilight responded.
"You have to tell me all about it, over some tea perhaps? I'm just about finished here." Rarity made a few more touches here and there, then dragged a willing Twilight over to her boutique.
They talked and Twilight shared a few stories she thought Rarity would appreciate before they left to check the last one on the list.
"Music, another pegasus called Fluttershy." Spike said.
"Does it say where she might be?" Twilight asked.
"Well, she lives on the outskirts of town." Spike said, after reading through that part of the checklist.
"I guess we should start there then." she said with a sigh at the vagueness of the directions.
She knew where it was, but she had to make a show of not-knowing. Which meant circling around the edge of town until she reached the spot Fluttershy was practicing with her birds.
After a half hour of searching, Twilight found the butter-colored pegasus. Longer than the first time, but Twilight had gained some time from Rarity's chunk of the day over baseline.
"Hi there." Twilight said, approaching and talking quietly enough not to disturb the birds this time.
"My name's Twilight, the music sounded great! Your name's Fluttershy, right?" Twilight asked.
Fluttershy nodded meekly. "Hey Spike, come over here a sec?" Twilight called over.
Spike came out of the bushes and started over. "Okay, but I don't think she's a very social pony, even by your standards." Spike said, only for Fluttershy to suddenly yell "A baby dragon!" startling the birds away.
"Oh, I've never met a baby dragon before. This is so amazing, I don't even know what to say!" Fluttershy said excitedly, well for her.
"Well, we have to go back to the library, but you two can talk on the way." Twilight said, putting Spike on her back.
"Okay, so what do you want to know?" Spike asked.
"Absolutely everything!" Fluttershy said.
She had no idea how Spike managed to cram the entirety of his life story into the trip back to the library besides today. In either incidence. However, she did know that it was still aggravating this time, if less so.
"So, do you want to come inside? I have no idea if we have food here, but it's getting dark and we have to stay up or we'll miss the sunrise." Twilight said as the library came into view.
"Well, I do want to hear the rest of Spike's story, but I don't want to intrude." Fluttershy said hesitantly, her enthusiasm for learning about an animal she'd never encountered before warring with her natural shyness.
"Well, I don't mind, and Spike still needs to finish his story." Twilight reassured her shyest friend.
"Um, okay." Fluttershy said as they went inside. They were immediately assaulted by streamers and balloons as the lights came on revealing Pinkie's party.
"Hi, it's me Pinkie Pie, remember me? Isawyouwhenyoucameintotownandyouwerealllikehello, remember?" Pinkie asked speaking in her usual superfast speech when she was excited. "I threw this party just for you so you could make lots and lots of friends!" Pinkie said. "It should be easy with your high Charisma Stat!" she added, to the general confusion of the other ponies in the room.
'Main Quest Complete! +100 Exp/Bits. +5 skill points.'
She raised Combat, Resilience, and Blade-wielding to 53/1000, and Positive Magic to 64/1000.
'At 60/1000, you're on your way to the level of understanding required of an Archmage, which is 100/1000.'
"Thanks Pinkie, but why is the hot sauce at the punch table? Somepony might accidentally put it in their punch." Twilight asked, remembering what had happened the first time she went to this party.
"Huh, you know, I don't really know." Pinkie said, putting a hoof to her chin a rare serious moment, before smiling. "Oh well, it's not like it'll hurt anypony." Pinkie said.
"Yeah, Ah'm not so sure about-" Applejack cut off as Pinkie took a swig of the hot sauce straight from the bottle.
"Well never mind then." she deadpanned.
Twilight talked some more with the girls before the party ended about 15 minutes before the celebration was to begin. She had saved at her bed just before she left the library, and she was going to try reasoning with Luna first. Somehow she doubted having a thousand years of negative emotions ripped out of you was pleasant, no matter how it was done.
Besides, if she was irredeemable then the elements would likely have sealed Luna away again. If that didn't work, she could always go through with the elements restoring her, and if all else failed, she could try just beating the evil out of her, but that was a last resort.
Of course, there was always the chance Nightmare Moon would just blast her if she tried to explain, but she had to try. Luna was in there somewhere, and anything that hurt Nightmare Moon would hurt her as well.
'Chapter Progress: 1 quest complete. 0 stars found. 400 exp to next level.'
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Wait.... Pinkie know about Stats?
What if Pinkie is also a Gamer? That why she have her strange ability! She use cheats!
4598573 She's not a Gamer, she's just breaking the fourth wall.
While I did like the first draft of your 7th chapter just fine, I will readily admit that I did not see you pulling a fast one like that on us.
But you are absolutely right to pan out this story in this way. The title says Twilight: The Gamer. Any true gamer wouldn't limit themselves to just one playthrough in just one way.
Hell, with the way you set up the initial chapter, this game is made for multiple playthroughs!
...
Pinkie's intros.
Both of them.
My sides! They hurt!
4598581
Oh dang.... Still, not bad how you made it with Pinkie
Great job, as always. By the way, you should join the group which exists thanks to you, you know? I'm trying to get it rolling.
4598581
Actually I'm surprised Twilight didn't see it coming.
I SOOOO want to see what would happen to NightMare Moon... The only thing that I see is a black, purple, plump... thing.
Hopefully nightmare will be ready.
So glad you decided to cut the Nobles sidequest. It didn't seem like a very well-planned move from their side, even discounting a high-stat Twilight in the mix. Personally I find the whole 'political scheming' angle unnecessary given how that kind of thing is never even alluded to on the show. Of course, that's my opinion.
So stats and skills carry over from different saves? I guess that's one way to keep things simple. At first I thought Twilight would stay in the same timeline when she switched Avatar (and we'd see everypony dealing with the fact that Twilight was, and had always been, an earth pony, despite being in the middle of a unicorn school), but then I realized she had essentially started a new game.
Hmm, this is starting to remind me of the MLP Time Loops.
All I have to say is: MOAR.
4599199 Go ahead, I claim no ownership of the Gamer idea beyond introducing it to you guys in this format.
4599116 Fixed it, Thanks for telling me.
4598581
I'm pretty sure that's not the 4th wall. The 4th wall is the one between the audience and the characters. This is the wall between the characters and the mechanics of the world... but she's not completely shattering it, just taking a little peak. So maybe the fifth and a half wall?
Twilight really ought to change the difficulty setting to avoid being bored to death.
Also, here's a little something I thought up.
Omake:
Twilight: "What- But I-. You-...How?"
Pinkie: "Don't be such a silly-filly, Twilight. I'm a meta-gamer. That's obvious for anyone with a perception score over 40."
Twilight: "That answers a lot of questions... And raises a lot more. Also, perception is not a stat."
Pinkie: "Of course it is. You just need to allocate your skill points like this."
*Pinkie respecs Twilight*
New stat unlocked: Perception.
Twilight: "...Never mind. You got any hard cider?"
Pinkie: *Pulls a bottle out of her mane* "I always do in case one of my friends asks; you would not believe how often that happens."
Twilight: "Actually, I believe I would."
She noticed that Shining Armor's strength and speed were above-average, and his shields were stupidly powerful in comparison to the other unicorns spells, but his magical offense was relatively weak, even in comparison to the other guard's.
unicorn's
in chapter 6
regarding the duel you may want to correct it to the new mechanic of possible knock out it is simple to correct just have the opponents surrender before hp hits zero
as of the end of chapter7 her positive magic was already at 62
Welp I was a bit skeptical about the sudden revamp, but it turned out way better than I thought.
I am confused about the positive magic bi. In the previous chapter you said she understands magic to the degree of an archmagus and in this one you say she is on her way to an archmage.
I should have known...
This story is a ton of fun to read. I can't wait for more.
*favorites the story*
[Heaps on additional motivational encouragement]
Been loving this story so far, so keep up the good work. I do have a few ideas that I'd like to see, but you can take or leave 'em.
1.) I'd like to see how the agility stat effects Twilight's movement and stealth, maybe have Dash push her to try it out if you are looking for filler in a future. The kind of movement I would like to see would be things like wall running and other parkour things. Also maybe a double-jump skill.
2.) A major patch coming through would be a fun thing to see, if with as old as the game is. Just something fun to see how Twi reacts.
3.) Mods. The way I see this is twi takes a small break to look through the options more thoroughly and finds a section for mods where she can download them and turn them on and off. These mods can vary from new avatars, to map packs, to NPCs.
4598581
Or instead of the 4th wall, maybe Pinkie could just have some of abilities that a gamer would have, even if she didn't know anything about the game. Such as being able to see stat screens.
Nooo! The Murder Hobo Twilight avatar is bad! and is bad for you!
4599370 she can barely beat cake walk.
OhGodsheknows.
OhGodsheknows!
So how long are you planning on making this story? I mean are you only going to put detail into this avatar or just finish this one then start another that she focuses on or did you not plan that far or 'other'?
Mental image of level 9999 alicorn filly ripping Discord out of his statue.
"You will behave yourself until I am ready to deal with you or I will rip you in half, beat one half into a puddle and shove the other half into the depth of Tartarus. understood?"
"Yes ma'am"
Shoves him back in "I'll be back in 10 years. It's not that much longer."
NMM finds herself forced to the ground in front of a young alicorn "I will break you!"
4598581
Darn.
Mayhew's Log: Let's Try This Again... Well I'm disappointed... I can't believe Twi didn't find any of the Ponyville stars yet. I must have seen her walk past at least three. Very nice as before... Next chapter! Allons y!
4599293 It wouldn't be a wall, since there is no 'wall' to break. She is breaking the laws of reality. The laws of that 'reality' is that the Players of stats and only the player can see them(except when they use that cheat). But Pinkie can break that law, and who knows what else. Maybe when she reaches 0 HP, her hair goes flat and it's time to start the lottery and pulling numbers
4638682 A very apt observation, ehehehe.
4598581 fuck, well it would have made sense to make them gamers but either way.
4726645
Y'all should read the last chapter's comments/predictions.
Pinkie Pie, you scare me.
Small writting advice.
Unless you use question mark or "!", always use comma before you write "said"
For example.
"I'm sorry," said Fluttershy.
"I'm sorry," Fluttersy said.
As they walked through the part, Fluttershy said, "I' sorry."
Just a small advice about how everyone write their fanfics. I know it is small detail, but just decided to ponit it out.
I probably should have mentioned this on an earlier chapter, but I'm surprised that Twilight developing a clone spell didn't unlock an "Uzumaki Twilight" avatar. Great story so far, though!
This was incredibly fast paced and a bit... disengaged. While the story is good for light reading, I'm not really getting attached to it at an emotional level except for "the lulz". There's hardly any real conflict or character interaction.
5156028 For it to be an Uzumaki Twilight, there would need to be more than 100 of them.
The fun thing about writing a chapter based on an episode is the writer gets to answer the question, "How could I influence the story?" At least, that's how it works for me.
Good job so far. I look forward to reading more.
images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51CQk7p1etL.jpg
Wlep that is the insanity of pinkie pie for you.
When eating with the Apple family, it's okay to say no after the third pie.