A long time has passed since Twilight and her friends first discovered the Elements of Harmony, and she has since become a full-fledged alicorn princess. In that time, she's done many great things.
But the one thing she hasn't done is tested herself. She's never seen the full extent of her powers.
Growing bored of Equestria, and seeking the ultimate challenge, Twilight decides to see just how powerful she really is by attempting the impossible.
Creating her own world.
Idea taken from a brainstorming thread and used with permission from Kapuchu.
Special thanks to Conicer for the epic cover art!
Chapters (6)
You've got something good here. I can tell.
Possibly the only time I'll approve of an immortal Twilight story. I want to see her planet creating.
Here's a mustasche
Hue hue.
The origin of the best of plans.
Dis gon b gud. I'm favoriting.
Just make sure not to accidentally drop it on Equus.
This story looks like fun. I'd like to see how this goes
An interesting concept as well.
Oh dear GOD this is gonna be good!
Just as awsome as it sounded in the thread excellent job.
Playing God is dangerous. I hope Twilight knows what she's getting into.
I know that this is just a story about creating a world, but overpowered magic much?
I really like this story and I look forward to what ever comes next.
3794107 Yep it is and if you really want a nightmare then picture this Pinkie Pie meet's Pinkie Pie G3, meets suprise, meets discord, meets Halo, and all of them get a metric ton of sugar and soda. yeah have fun with that picture.
Yes absolutly yes.. Kinda follows along an idea I had where twilight created the universe. then watched it bloom into the being then when it was time she decended down and because a mortal. Then after she ascended again she watched til the universe died And repeat over and over again.
3795329
Interesting concept. Gonna write it at all?
I like what you've got going so far, but there are some things I disagree a little with. For example.
"I think you all know what I hope it's going to involve," said Discord, lounging in the miniature hammock suspended between the table and his chair, both it and him shrunk in size to fit.
The above is what I would suggest. I think it makes him seem more random, and not as malicious as what you insinuate.
Another thing is that Twilight seems a bit out of character. She seems sort of arrogant, and I find Cadence to be a little too cheery. I can understand Luna supporting Twilight, but I imagine Cadence as wanting Twilight to be cautious and really think it over.
The pacing went a hundred miles an hour, here. I feel like you could fill out a paragraph or two with just this. You certainly seem skilled enough to be able to do so. Even so, I don't think Twilight would be quite that direct, nor would she really when initially asking Celestia the question.
Be careful with your characterization, as it is a bit off at times. I would recommend looking through the prologue, try to read what the characters say and use their voice in your head. If you can use their voice easily enough, then it fits their character. (A trick I learned, and one I find useful.)
Aside from that, keep going
I'm looking forward to see what you make of my idea.
Hm...
Go on.
Poor, poor Twilight, she has absolutely no idea what she's in for once she finally gets around to creating intelligent life.
3795607 I can barely write the one I am working on. so most likely not.
3796498
'S all good.
Kapuchu, huh?
This ought to be interesting. And before she creates earth and the humans...
Still... They folded too easy and she decided to do this too quick... But that was my only niggle with it.
~Skeeter The Lurker
3798135
I agree. The pacing is just a tad too fast.
Seriously, this chapter could have done with 2-4 times more detail. I know from experience that It's hard not to go too fast, but slowing down the plot will pay off in the end.
In the beginning, there was twilight.
As an atheist, I couldn't help but make that joke.
3798135
Yes, Skeeter, me
And no, one of my requirements for allowing people to take this was that the planet would be inhabited by ponies. And yes... I, too, find that they folded a bit too easily. (See:
3795677)
Hmm...I had an idea like this once. Only my idea involved Celestia, Luna, a lost race of alicorns, was a lot more techy, and may or may not have been heavily inspired upon Star Trek II The Wrath of Khan...
...then again, my idea isn't really like this at all, is it?
Best of luck to you with you story.
Why is it named genesis and not twilight zone?
Way too much twilight fanfics, why are people making so much? The obvious answer is that their foggots. David Throne would agree.
Next time make a fic of a non-shit-tier pony, or best pony (Cadence.)
3794639
no one would survive
3804982 Yes well when I make a hypothetical I usually take no prisoners, just be glad I didn't add redbull into the mix I mean can you imagine if pinkie pie got access to wings?
3804609 because the writer didn't want their plot sued off?
3805107
Oh Sweet Celestia! what if Pinkie Pie became an Alicorn? or worse. The ruler of the world? nopony would survive.
3805126 Now then to finish this mental nightmare off for you, add Bugs bunny into the mix. Yeah have fun with that one.
3805159
Here is my reply and Celestia's reaction
3805346 roflmao!
3804627 When voicing your opinions, try not to be a douchebag, ok?
I think the idea is really cool, but the execution, writing wise, leaves something to be desired.
I can't really put my finger on it, but I think it's a bit rushed. Too much happening in too little time. It means Twilight feels really OOC, and it's a drag to read.
My guess is that you wanted to get to the interesting part of the story as quickly as possible, but that means the first chapter really suffers. Not a very good first impression.
If that is the reason, some in medias res might help, and the backstor could be filled in with letters to/from Celestia.
Cheers
3807420
3795677
3798135 I'll admit that I'm fairly useless at pacing and characterisation. It's something I need to work on, and you can expect a rewrite of the prologue at some stage. For now, though, it's going to stay that way
3807514
And? That's why you keep at it.
You'll get it soon enough.
~Skeeter The Lurker
3807890 It's odd, because I know good pacing when I see it. So why can't I write it myself? Goddamn hypocritical brain.
3793489 she doesn't have a clue
the fun this story could inspire
Planet Sparkle, a story billions of years in the making.
I have never seen a story with a plot
like this i seriously see potential in this idea please don't let it go I faved because i likes the idea so much
TWILIGHT MADE EARTH.
IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW.
Wait a minute, Genesis Project?
[youtube=v7WlyuI7xGI]
Let's hope Trixie doesn't start quoting Moby Dick.
Well now, this looks interesting.
Interesting story, and it shows a LOT of potential. Though I do wonder why you have tagged a story with such a premise as "slice of life." Seems like the exact opposite. But I digress. I'll follow this and see where it goes.
3805948
What made me a douche-bag? I complemented all of you and gave a suggestion.
Not bad, but I feel you don't have a very good grasp on Discord's character. He may have mellowed after a millennium, but this just doesn't feel genuine.
Also, I think you can afford a few more pronouns at the end there. The subject is still Twilight.
Oh, and two worlds sharing the same sun makes perfect sense, but I'm not sure how the new planet's going to benefit from the moon. Sure, Equestrian astronomy can be kind of a crapshoot, but that just doesn't compute.
Aside from those minor quibbles, a promising beginning. Definitely looking forward to more.
3856569 As I've stated before, I'm bad at characterisation. Horrible at it, in fact.
As for astronomy, in my opinion, the fact that the moon rises at night instead of appearing tells me I can pretty much do whatever in terms of astronomy.
*Look ad Feed, see's a update "Core and Crust · 422 words", clicks on it........and nothing to see.*
Wut?
....Lies!
I could've sworn there was an update...
Also, that cover art! Awesome!