On her morning walk, Rarity encounters the perfect flower. She sets off immediately to bring back shears and a vase. On her way, she runs into a distraught Roseluck and Fluttershy.
Special thanks to insula sol and Very Mean and Fluffy for editing.
And as always, thanks Tyler1128 for being supportive and always willing to read every flawed first draft.
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This was nice.
I liked the parallel between the patch of roses and the lone flower.
An original idea, Rarity being a sweet mare, and all of it coming together smoothly in nicely written prose.
That was very lovely and delicate !
The one problem is that Rarity would not touch a worm. It would be rather disgusting to her.
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I did think about that. I don't think she would touch an earth worm for sure because they are dirty, but I figured she would be okay touching an inch worm because they are kinda cute, especially in a cartoony way. What do you think in this regard?
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I don't know because I don't know what that looks like.
Y'know, I liked this. It's a little heavy-handed in delivering its moral; but I like your handling of Rarity, and the execution of the rest meshes well with the show itself. Punctuation-wise, I would watch it when you end a quote with a dash (such as "It’s only--sniff--they--.”) because at least twice you're closing the quote with a dash and then closing it again with a second punctuation mark (in the above case, a period) which is redundant. The dash is all the quote-closer you need. Also check the spelling on "scent" (misspelled as "sent") in the fourth-to-final paragraph.
It was a pleasure meeting you, however briefly, in Baltimore!
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I really appreciate you taking the time to give me some feedback. It was very kind of you! I have gone back and corrected the things pointed out. I didn't know the grammar with the dash--thanks so much for that.
It was quite lovely to meet you in Baltimore as well. I hope we can keep in touch until we next run into each other.
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Likewise!