• Member Since 4th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Apr 11th, 2012

Pontaku!


T

When a powerful foe surfaces in Equestria and begins a string of murders, it's up to the mane six to find and put a stop to this deviant. But what is the Dark Brotherhood? And why does this new pony in Ponyville seem so suspicious?

"Sweet mother, sweet mother, send your foal onto me. For the sins of the unworthy must be baptized in blood and fear."


Crossover with MLP and Elderscrolls. Not really a HUGE fanfiction writer, actually I'm not at all. First one ever people, so be nice! (I mean...if you want to be.)

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 16 )

I give you a point for an interesting cross-over idea, I really do... :pinkiesad2:

That being said, this needs to be edited ASAP. You have a lot of run-on sentences here. There's also the matter of your formatting. If you do end up editing this then try making a new paragraph every time a different character speaks. This way it gives the reader an easier time of distinguishing who's talking in the first place. I frequently had to re-read chunks of text just to try and understand what you were trying to get across. :twilightsmile:

Morrowind/Oblivion/Skyrim to be exact

BR

Yayy... a skyrim crossover. This is actually pretty good, aside from a few grammatical/capitalization errors a fave and a like from :pinkiesad2::pinkiehappy: me, so keep it coming!

411854

Alrighty, I'm on spring break this week so I can start editing this weekend. Thanks for the point outs. :twilightsmile:

Well there goes my idea to hell with burning flames..:applecry:

I REALLY enjoyed the first chapter, and I'm really excited to see how the story turns out. Will Shadowmere succeed and establish the dark brotherhood in equestria? Will she have a change of heart after seeing how wonderful the place is? No idea XD that's for you to decide, anyways, I really enjoyed the story and can't wait to see the next chapter :twilightsmile:

Not bad, as the others have pointed out there are some things you could correct, but I'm hooked either way :pinkiehappy:

Okay, I'm intrigued. Can't wait to see more of this.

ca we expect to see the hero of kvatch who has become shergorath

You know shadowmere is a guy right cause Astrid said so.

You know shadowmere is a guy right cause Astrid said so.

I am eager to see the next chapter of this story once it comes out. I would also like to see a picture of what Shadowmere would look like in Equestria. By the way, something I have always wondered about the Dark Brotherhood, does each Dark Brotherhood Sanctuary have it's own members of the Black Hand, meaning their own Speakers and Listener, or does every Dark Brotherhood Sanctuary have the same Speakers and Listener?

Comment posted by Chaos51268 deleted Aug 28th, 2013

Please don't let this fanfiction die! It's too good to be wasted!

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