Veetrix, Equestria's Best Shot!

by trahzo

Prolougue: The Night the Gunslinging Human Came to Canterlot!

It was a quiet night in Equestria's capital, and the guards were going to call it a night. That is until a vortex made-out of electricity generated enough energy to bring a large metallic capsule out of it's chaos light speed transportation! Someone will explain chaos light speed in another chapter don't worry. The guards all gathered to it, even Shogun Deezutra, the successor to former royal guard captain, Shining Armor. Deezutra was a human who has been hopping through universes until he found Equestria and settled in.

"Men, stay cautious, we do not know is in this capsule yet...wait what?"

Then the capsule opened-up & a human holding a pistol came out! He had scarlet hair with purple tips. He wore a black T-shirt that had a picture of a white unicorn stallion with an ice aura. The left leg of his khakis had a hole in it's knee. Finally, he wore blue running shoes.

"HALT SIR!!!" Deezutra commanded. "What is thy name?"

"I'm Veetrix Desmurta! V-double E-T-R-I-X for my 1st name. D-E-S-M-U-T-R-A you got it? Now please just tell me who the fucking hell are you guys?"

"(What the fuck? I didn't think I'd see my nephew again!) I am Deezutra Xargashio! I am the captain of this royal guard of these stallions you see before you!"

"Deezutra Xargashio eh?"

"Yeah, and what of it?"

"Oh, nothing! Though I'd like to see what you guys are made of! Standard barrel, switch to tranquilizer barrel!" Then the barrel on his gun switched from bullets to tranq darts!

"Look out men!"

Then he started firing the darts knocking out all of the pegasus troops.

"Firaga!" Then Deezutra fired a large fireball from his magical sword

Veetrix dodged the shot.

"A samurai with magic? This'll be fun!"

"Now take this! Magi Magica! Red fire!" Then Deezutra shot a stream of fire!"

"Tranq barrel, switch to water barrel!" Then the gun went from tranquilizer darts to water streams. He managed to match the magical assault!

"Thunder!"

Then Veetrix got struck by electricity!

"Oof! Nice one!"

Meanwhile in the capsule...

*Boom!* *Boom!*

"Huh? What the fuck is going on Veetrix?"

Meanwhile in Luna's bedroom...

*Boom* *Boom*

"Come-on, just because I'm nocturnal doesn't mean I cannot take a nap for 8 minutes!"

Now back to the fight!

"Water barrel, switch to Melee barrel!" Then the gun went from water streams to a sword but can still shoot bullets! Think of it kinda like squall's sword from final fantasy.

"I knew you had a blade!"

Then they charged at each other until...

"STOP!!!"

Then Deezutra & Veetrix came to a halt.

"Shogun Deezutra, what is the meaning of this noise?!" Demanded Princess Luna.

"Fuck! Veetrix, I thought I told you to never fight when I'm sleeping!" Said a lady in her pj's and glasses while emerging from the capsule.

"My apologies Luna!"

"Sorry Professor Xargashio!"

Deezutra heard what he said.

"Professor Xargashio?"

Then the lady pushed Veetrix aside. "No way! Hubby?"

"Ze-Zerena?"

"Oh hubby, I'm so happy to see you again!" Zerena said while giving Deezutra tiger kisses.

"Ah, Ooh, it-it's g-g-good to s-seE you (ouchies) too Zerena (aah)! My (ooh now that really stings) loving wife." He said while trying to maintain a smile instead of having faces of pain.

Everyone laughed at Deezutra's unfortunate predicament.

"Well, I do not know about any of you ponies, but seeing his current problema, I see a victory for me!"

Then Luna took a good look at Veetrix.

"Huh? Why are you staring at me?"

"I can't quite put my hoof on it, but you'd be a good candidate for a soldier in me & my sister's royal guard!"

"Whoa really? Sign me up, I always wanted to serve under royalty!"

4 Years later...

"Well, I now fucking regret my words 4 years back."

"So Veetrix what do you think? Should I do this mare tonight? Or this mare? I'm not feeling like group sex tonight." Asked Prince Blueblood.

Veetrix became Blueblood's personal servant & unknown to Blueblood, babysitter.

"So Veetrix what do you think? Should I have my child with this mare or this mare?"

"The Pink and Red zebra!"

"Wonderful choice, with an inter-species baby, our land shall have a very deep bond with the zebras over in their kingdom. Then again, If I were to have my child with the Teal colored Changeling, they'll have no other choice than to write-up a peace treaty!"

"(FUCKING HELL, CAN'T THIS STEREOTYPICAL PRINCE, WHO ACTS LIKE A SPOILED BRAT JUST MAKE-UP HIS DAMN MIND?!)"

"Hey boss are you available?" Asked an orange baby dragon with black spines and violet eyes.

"Not now Senile, your dad is busy."

"Veetrix, how many times do I gotta tell you? You're not my dad, you're my boss."

"Leave or you're grounded!"

"Yes sir!"

"(Oi vey, why did I tell them to sign me up?)"