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Very interesting story, keep up the good work!

continue

>>2050420504 It's coming. I've got the next chapter third written up.

Is it odd that Chapter 7 isn't appearing for me?

>>2089720897

It hasn't been published yet. Chapter 7 will probably be the longest chapter yet, because it's going to explain what happened to this world's Dash as well as advance the main story.

Chapter seven is done, and published. Enjoy.

Wow this is good cant wait for the next chapter!

Oh dear Celestia, this cliffhanging is killing me:

I... C-can't... Hold... On...

>>2220022200

Oh stop, it's not that bad.

>>2220222202

SPOILER and SPOILER are going to be hanged, and SPOILER just wants to go home! It is very bad indeed!

Slowly...Losing...M-my...Grip...

>>2221222212

Don't worry, (Spoiler) will (Spoiler) which will result in (spoiler).

Problem, Fans?

>>2223022230

FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Only read through Chapter 4 so far, but I'm finding this a rather interesting follow-up to "Past Sins".  The pairing of Applejack with Trixie is rather peculiar, to say the least; but the reasoning each has fall in line with my own view of their personalities, so that's no problem.

I have been wondering if we'll get to see at all what's happening with young Nyx back in the "right" (for lack of a better word) universe.  Is she back at the library just crying her eyes out and falling deeper into despair?  Is she out searching her Ponyville for some kind of clue?  Or has she perhaps enlisted Spike to aid in asking the princesses for help?  Am I thinking too hard on a portion of the story that isn't suppose to be a focal point yet, if ever?  Like I said, I've only read through Chapter 4, and the story isn't even finished yet, so who knows?

Heh heh, "Wild heart" heh.

>>2323323233

And all I had to do was read the next chapter once I got home for my answer.

>>2351823518

Is that some kind of double entrende I missed?

>>2323323233

Please don't make me dance against my will.

>>2515525155

Do... what?

Are we dancing the Mamushka?

>>2666226662

Your name reminded me of the villain of a video game called Space Channel Five 2.

I don't suppose anyone would like a preview of Chapter 8 while it's being written?

Okay, Twilight, bad news and good news.

The bad news: The meeting of the machinations of your friends and your daughter will likely end in fire.

The good news: You're a grandma!

Yes!  Exactly what I was hoping for: cross-dimensional assistance.  I eagerly await the meeting of the Nyx's.  Wonder how the older will react upon discovering the cutie mark of her younger self.

They will all dance! Hahahahahahhahaaaa!  (Sorry, couldn't resist)

>>2825428254

There will be blood.

>>2828528285

Oh yes. It's going to be quite the amazing surprise.

So, on a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you all want Perfect to die in a fire?

>>2833028330

Numbers don't go that high.

Oh yes. Everyone check chapter one again. I left something there, near the beginning. I thought the hairpin thing would be more effective as a Chekov's Gun.

>>2833028330

I would say 10, but I'm not entirely certain that fire alone would do it.  I get the feeling she's going to end up as the main antagonist.

Nyx is a mother?

>>2886828868

Not what I planned, but very possible. My stories tend to do whatever the hell they want.

>>3110531105

In a way. You'll see.

"Diamond Rarity!"

Ummm, her cannon name is Rairy Belle.

>>3399333993

*Rarity Belle

>>3399433994

No, it is not. Her canon name is just Rarity. Nothing else. She does not have a surname.

http://mlp.wikia.com/wiki/Rarity

No mention of surnames here, and this wiki is known for it's extremely strict adherence to canon.

Tracked!

Even if it takes forever, It'll be worth waiting for this read.

Damn... I really want to see this finished.

Even though this is a spin-off, this outmatches Past Sins itself!

>>3399433994

This is highly annoying to me, personally. I don't know why everypony can't seem to understand that there are no surnames in MLP:FIM. Twilight Sparkle isn't named Twilight Sparkle because her father's (or mother's, considering equines are naturally matriarchal) name was _____ Sparkle, and Twilight isn't her "first name" in any way except that it naturally comes before the second part.

In another example, Rarity has a one-body name. Her sister, Sweetie Belle, has a two-body name--the second half of her name is not some inherited familial title such as would be the case in human society. To put it in more understandable terms, one could treat the whole of "Sweetie Belle" as if it were our equivalent of a first name, and any shortening thereof would constitute a nickname.

Forgive the rant, but this is an issue that has irked me since I first joined the fandom, and I could not help but attempt to correct the assumption.

>>5483154831

Whoa there, friend. Calm down now.

Whether or not there are surnames, there certainly do seem to be large families that are known by a name in Equestria. We know the Apple family in particular, but Pinkie does mention Granny PIE, and while that may be Pinkie being Pinkie, it still can be counted as evidence that these families do indeed have names they're commonly known by.

Not to mention that Twilight's parents are referred to as Mr. and Mrs. Sparkle by the developers, and that Applejack in the show specifically calls her relatives in Manehatten "Aunt and Uncle Orange". This does support the idea of surnames. My personal headcanon is that it's not a requirement of any kind to take on a family name as a surname, but is more of a choice to show how proud you are of that family name.

Even if you currently can't write for it, it'd be nice if you could put up a summary or description for this story anyway.  It's long and interesting looking and I like your other work, Dumb Luck, so I'm going to read it.  I just don't know what it's about, or what any of the pairings in it or anything.  It's sort of a leap of faith I guess, but oh well.  A month is hardly a hiatus at all, to those of us who've been reading fanfiction for years and have seen fics resurrected from the dead anywhere from a month to ten years later.  Even if you don't get back to this for a year, it'll still be good to have it on alert so I'll get notified when there's more and I can come back to it.

>>5574855748

Done.

No one commented on this yet? Well then here's a bit of a critic.

aside from some spelling errors and yysing the wrong words like 'perfictly' instaid of perfict when Nyx was speeking to wild heart for example.

Besides that you have a good chapter.

It's bugging me that I don't know what Pinkie Pie wanted to say to Twilight Sparkle.

Could you at least give  me a hint? Please.

>>5846858468

I'm in a bit of shock that you didn't figure it out yet...

Think about their reactions a bit, and trust me, it'll become very obvious.

This is turning out to be more interesting than it originally seemed. Looking forward to more.

>>2833028330 1. I do not want her do die. I want her to suffer.

Pinky told Twilight that she loved her didn't she?

Damit why am I maturing!!!  Younger that would have been obvous to me!

CURSE MY RESPECT FOR FEMALE SAME SEX RELATIONSHIPS!  AND CURSE MY ABILITY TO NOT BLAINTLY JUMP TO THE ASSUMPTION THAT TWO CLOSE FILLYFRIENDS ARN'T MORE THAN THAT!!!

And finally, CURSE YOU ROMANTIC PLOT DIVICE!!!!!!!!!

took me nearley 3 days to figuer this out... *grumble grumble*

I was distracted and angry at perfict cut, you rote her very well I spent the better part of a day thinking of things I could do to that *growel* and retrobution would involve first putting her under that phyco would probably enjoy any physical pain I put her through, then I'd surgecaly remove her wings leaving the...

needless to say you got what you wanted "I hate her" fyi there are only three things i would use the word hate to discribe my feelings tward; war, intolerance, and pedophiles.  She is number 4...

So...if Nyx meets queen Nyx how will the 'older' mare react upon hearing what it would be like should Twilight have lived, including being a filly again and happy but sans her daughter?

How will Adagia react to having what is essentialy a version of her mother at her age?

>>9969199691

Those questions will be answered when I'm done with revisions. I'm overhauling a few of the chapters.

And how do you think any filly reacts to having a new filly around?

soooo Is Adagia a Lieutenant cause of special powers? or because of

MOOOMYYY! I WANNA BE A LOOTENANT TOO! I WANNA BE ONE!

cause if its the former, she's gonna be like, crazy powerful, because she's a filly. I'm pretty sure theres a Trope about that, but I wouldn't know how to search for it.

>>118298118298

You're thinking of Tyke Bomb, I think. She's not crazy powerful at all, though it sure SEEMS that way. Queen Nyx would never let her get into anything dangerous until she's older, but Adagia won't have a choice later. If you're curious, I can PM you with an explanation. Ooooor I could give spoilers here, as it's not exactly story important.

>>119094119094

huh. sounds about right. so are you saying Its a little of both? cause what little filly doesn't whine from time to time, eh?

>>119968119968

Check your Message Inbox.

wow, important chapter. and glad to finally see an update.

Its not long enough.

>>120524120524

Is a build-up chapter. Next chapter? Action. LOTS OF ACTION. And it'll be pretty long.

This is alive! PRAISE THE GODS!

Very happy to see this update!

Also surprised to find out the orders from Queen Nyx were genuine.  I figured it was some kind of hoax.  That really casts a dark(er) shadow over the whole story.  But then, I have to remind myself she still has NMM's corruption skewing her personality and views of everything.

Which reminds me.  If there's anything that seems to be missing here, it's any attempt by Twilight or by Nyx The Younger to explain to Queen Nyx about the true nature of NMM and how it was purged in the other dimension.  I'd think that's sort of important for her to know.

>>120653120653

Twilight was too upset to bring it up, and so was little Nyx. It'll come up in the next chapter.

Nice to see this is alive - I do enjoy quality.

Hmmm... Nice interpretation, I must say. Good on you, and please keep up the good work. Personally, I have no idea why this isn't 5/5 stars across the board. I haven't noticed any errors, the story's good, we have emotional conflict (though at times, perhaps not as strong as it could be - it comes across as a little rushed at times - given, you can only build up so much without being redundant, and especially so if a precedent was already set), and it flows well. Sure, it's no Past Sins, but that's because the title is Point of No Return. Anyway, some of the things that come across as weak are probably like that because of a lack of information and development. Because we missed 6 or so years or events, it can be harder for us to fill in the gaps, and thus characters or actions may seem a bit shallower (in accordance with my opinion on some emotional events that may seem a bit weak - I.E., Nightmare Nyx crying in this chapter without us seeing a torrent of other associated emotions, which is due to any number of factors) - but with all things considered, I think this is great, and I hope the above wall of text helps you out, even if marginally, Wild Heart.

I'm surprised that Queen Nyx didn't noticed younger Nyx's cutie mark, being how she is a blank flank.

>>123568123568

No fic is perfect, and while the petty side of me would like to say it's not five stars just because people hate Past Sins, as you said, the fic does have problems.

>>127484127484

She didn't really get a good look.

...Yea, I have no good excuse for that.

Why is it that when I read this chapter, the image of Nightmare Moon and Nyx having a magical tug of war over Twilight?

"Well, she didn't say anything about accidents!"

Hmm.... Rereads earlier: Dash had been challenged to a race and died in the middle of it in very suspicious circumstances

Hmmm..... !

Hmmm..... Why no update?! It's been... *checks first comment for chapter* over 5 weeks, and 2 days!

>>225483225483

It's left up to the reader to decide how much foul play is involved there. The next chapter, Dash and Spitfire will be duking it out, so stay tuned for that.

>>225601225601

CHeck my blog. When it updates, everyone who is tracking my stories gets notified. I want you to read it because I leave progress notes there, since quite a few people told me I shouldn't just make notification chapters.

It's a little bit sad to know the story is nearing its end. But everything must come to a close, I guess.

>>229657229657 I'm sad too. Oh well, I bet it will be a great and unexpected ending!

Nice, it updated! Next chapter should be interesting...

Why do I get the feeling that Fluttershy is going to get stuck fighting little miss crazy-pony?  Well, I guess it would give her the opportunity to put the old adage "an eye for an eye" to the test.

I LOVE Past Sins! Hell I have a physical copy of the fic so I can read it on the go!

I'm going to start reading this fic and I hope it has "Pen Stoke" magic!

>>247254247254

Pinkie is the one to fight her.

Speaking of which, I'm finally getting back to writing Part 2. It's on the way, folks.

You've got

<i>&quot;Now ... I could go back to the orchard. After all, this is getting far too dangerous, and I can't possibly move along unhindered.&quot;

You need to change this to

<i>&quot;Now ... I could go back to the orchard. After all, this is getting far too dangerous, and I can't possibly move along unhindered.&quot;</i>

When you download the whole thing the whole fic after that missing tag is italicized.

>>274365274365

Holy hell, really? Thanks for catching that. I'll fix it immediately.

Mmmmooooaaaarrrrrr!!!!!!

I just hated the warning at the beginning. I kind of wanted to be taken by surprise.

Please avoid doing so again in the future, leave the batshit-insane guys who can't take a character dying to themselves.

>>276343276343

It shall be removed for all future readers. Thanks for the input!

Nice chapter, I suppose the next one will wrap things up?

And you may want to look at the character tags as the limit is now five, before they decide how to deal with existing stories above that limit.

NO!!! NOT CLIFFHANGERS!!!

>>440232440232

The epilogue will, at least.

>>440317440317

Haha, sorry bro. Tomorrow, I'll do the epilogue. I've been looking forward to that.

Well, Well, Well. Filly!Nyx is turning out to be quite the badass in this fic.

Also Rainbow Dash is a boss, but we all knew that already.

>>440429440429

More like turned out, since that was the last chapter. The epilogue is all that's left. :P But yea, I had fun typing that Shut Up Hannibal speech.

Seemed sort of verbose to me.  Actually, when Queen Nyx was ranting about all the conquering she'd done -- and telling filly Nyx, this is what you gave up...    The first response that came to my mind was, "But I don't want to conquer ponies, I want to protect them -- that's my special talent."

She knows what her purpose is.  Queen Nyx still hasn't found hers.

Wait...... so, Queen Nyx isn't actually Nyx? Or is it some alternate dimension?

WoW, so what would the punishment be like for all those that followed, killed and torture for evil Nyx, especially spike and scootaloo ( can't remember if she's dead or wounded?)

>>440807440807

That's more of an "after the fact" kinda thing. Filly!Nyx needed to convince her that she needed to stop, right then and there, and the best way to do so was to crush her. Tough love would have been the only way to get her to listen. Queen Nyx just considered herself fundamentally different from her filly counter-part, so she wouldn't have listened to any pleading to that note until after she was blam'd.

I could have thrown that in there, but still, remember: Even if Nyx didn't really want to conquer, QUEEN Nyx convinced herself she did.

>>441193441193

The tags and description both say it's an alternate universe, friend.

>>441910441910

Epilogue will handle that, as well as a bunch of other things, including the cliff-hanger I so kindly left you with.

>>443715443715. Well, I hope at least there will be a revaluation with NMN and her blank flank and finally noticing and seeing Nyx's cuitie mark, that's the only thing that's been bugging me after their first encounter.  

>>444824444824

Oh look what I just posted!

Aww, that's a nice way to end things

>>444872444872. I'm going to read it right now.  

Twilight had to face-palm at how childish that sounded, but Queen Nyx seemed too shocked by the audacity to respond.

Twilight had to face- WHAT NOW?

Wild Heart's balls.

That was I interesting, some of it was what I was expecting but most of it was completely unexpected for me.  But we finally have the cuitie mark resolved for adult Nyx.

So, any chance of writing a sequel?

>>445323445323

I try to keep ponyfied words and phrases out of the narrative, which led to that.

All I can say is "oops".

>>445385445385

Totally the reason for the lack of interest. :P

>>445451445451

Everything is completely resolved, aside from Perfect Cut's disappearance, and the document in the epilogue is hinted at to be written after most of the major players have passed away from old age. The endings might not have been happy for everyone, but there's closure. There's really nothing to write a sequel about.

But hey, I won't stop writing fics just because I finished this one!

Ah, closure. Well done, Wild Heart. I'm looking forward to whatever else you can cook up.

>>447612447612

First of all, I understand the reason for that. Anybody, everybody, ect., work just as good as anypony, ect. But the hoof thing is king of a necessity.

Second, all I said was Wild Heart's balls. Problem with that, eunuch?

>>450061450061

Wild Heart in story and Wild Heart of author: Completely different.

Wild Heart that is author is gryphon, not pony. So nyah.

Wha?! I wasn't talking to the Wild Heart from the story?!

(a la Vader) Nooooooo! My life is a lie!

>>452396452396

And that's how the west was won.

WHY ARE THERE SO FEW COMMENTS?!

>>508089508089

Cuz nobody likes Past Sins. My fic Dumb Luck has tons of comments!

>>2833028330

10, but I would prefer if this weren't a true/ false question.

This is awesome.  Appledash as something that isn't explained and just is makes me lol, and makes perfect sense.  Also, I would question Applejack still having feelings for rainbow, but nothing preserves love quite so well as death.

Have I mentioned I love binary jokes?  it's true!

>>712758712758

Love doesn't die easily, my friend.