A continuation of “Jake and the Kid”
Warning.
You really need to read that story first.
Goose Down wanted to be a Guard Pony more than anything else in her life, just like her Father, numerous uncles, and six big brothers. Unfortunately she was small, a Nocturne Mare, and, oh yes, had a phobic fear of the open sky.
Combined that with her mistake of getting in the wrong job application line at the palace and ending up a maid, things look very dim indeed in regards to realizing her dream.
On the plus side, she works for the Princess of Dreams. So maybe, with a little help from her friends, and a very different type of princess, she will manage to achieve her heart’s desire.
With a few minor modifications.
Proofed and contributed to by Georg, who also graciously allowed me to steal some of his better characters. Georg really needs a co-writer credit on this. He contributes so much during his pre-reading that the stories simply would not be the same without him.
Be sure to catch his Nocturne stories, especially Diplomacy by Other Means.
So... is this the direct continuation as in the sequel or do I still need to be keeping an eye out for that? Because I'm going to be readin' the spin-off continuations aswell while I wait for updates but I want to make sure my main focus is on the main storyline.
Yay Gilda! I hope you keep up light slice of life tone. Not all stories need to be epics
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This is the direct continuation. I could have just kept rolling with it as Jake and the Kid, but wanted to break it into story arcs. The last one was getting them settled in Equestria. This one will feature Goose Down getting her dream, sort of.
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Curry and Jake will be bystanders for some of the big plots from the show, Like Twilight Getting her wings, but I have no plans to have them involved in Equestria changing events.
Imagine the look on Gilda's face if/when she's informed that Curry wanted to keep her as a *pet*... :D
Glad you decided to continue Jake and the Kid. I enjoyed this chapter.
Glorious
And Gilda's full name is great.
Curry: Why do all the best critters have to be talkers? I'm never gonna have a cool pet at this rate.
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I borrowed Georg's version of Gilda's full name. She plays a role in his latest Nocturne story. Diplomacy by Other Means. If you want to find out why Lumpy lives up to his name even more than before, check it out.
yay more of this :D
Excellent start, looking forward to more.
I feel kinda bad for Gilda now. I mean, sure, she's kind of a bi- er, jerk, but I'd chalk that up to her upbringing as a griffon. Almost like a bunch of Klingons, all that chest beating (before really beating your opponent), posturing and [literal] pecking order in every part of their society. I'm gonna guess she'll be a fixture in Fluttershy's place till she gets shipped off to the hospital?
And when is somepony gonna inform Curry how inappropriate it is to "gussy up" DT in a saddle and harness? Good grief, Twilight and Rarity would collapse from an aneurysm... although AJ might get a laugh out of it and tell Curry to put the "reserved for adults" stuff away. (Besides, Twilight might actually get some ideas the next time Luna and her have a free night)
Hope to see more of Goose Down though, seeing as how this is really her story even if the other cast members tend to steal the spotlight occasionally. I'm still trying to wrap my head around Nocturne society but I can sorta understand her desire to sleep in a nearly claustrophobic space while close to the house monarch (Granny Smith). Given the freedom, I'd bet she would sleep under Luna's bed if there was an actual crawl space under it, heh.
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Check out Diplomacy by Other Means by Georg. There is a link if you push the more link at the bottom of the story description. Lots about the Griffon culture, and where I'm coming from with Gilda in this. Gilda's cousin Sunny is about Pipsqueak and Jake's age, maybe a bit older and is Heir to the throne. She is about the cutest thing going.
Good idea about the age appropriate nature of saddles and bridles. On the other hoof the ponies might be a bit shocked to learn that Curry regards them as work equipment.
This is indeed about Goose. She was supposed to be a major factor in the first story arc, but I could not fit her in the way I liked. I'm lousy at getting to the point quickly in a story so the situation with Goose will be a bit slow developing.
I would be interested in hearing from anyone who has views on Gilda in the Shipping department. I have not made up my mind yet if what is between her and Rainbow is merely a very strong friendship, or if it is something more. and giving my liking of Polyamourous relationships with the Ponies, it could be even more complicated than that.
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Culture clash has never been so delightfully hilarious.
I hope Goose can finally regain her courage about the sky and fly. I love Curry and Jake's first day of school.
The only thing I dislike is DT and SS using "like" so much, it makes them sound really stupid. I may not like them, but I can't see Filthy Rich allowing his daughter to talk like a bimbo. Plus, they're smart enough to cause trouble and know which buttons to push for the crusaders, so going Valley Filly or Bimbo is just jarring to me.
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I'm trying to cut it down. Di is getting away from it when she's not with SS, except when surprise makes her fall back into the habit. But it is canon on the show that they speak like that.
I have been thinking about bringing in a pair of Canterlot fillies who are City Girl versions of the two, to give them a good look at themselves, as if it were.
One of the ideas that is floating around in the back of my mind is that a lot of powerful families might be inclined to expose Jake to their little princesses,in the hope of landing a powerful political lever. They missed out on Cadence and it really eats at them.
It is to Filthy Rich's credit that the idea never occurred to him. He might spoil his daughter, but he would never consider 'selling her', so to speak for monetary gain or influence.
4419270 Filthy is definitely a better father... but then he is a self made stallion and manages his business, he didn't inherit all of it and sit around doing nothing like nobles do.
I'm so sorry I only discovered this now! I forgot to put you on author alert after "Jake and the Kid" ended and so didn't get notified of the sequel until I thought about it today! >.<
In any case, this chapter was filled with sweet goodness! From Goose Down being her demure self (I feel a bit bad about liking that so much, but she's just so adorable), to Jake and Curry simply being children and having a good time growing up! That's what I liked so much about the prequel, you know. There was no ancient evil that followed them, no big prophecy they had to fulfill or any days that needed saving by the special alicorn prince and his human companion; it was just a heartwarming story about two lost souls finding a home, and it was wonderful. I can only hope that the sequel will follow that formula, and judging from the first chapter, that seems to be the case!
Eagerly looking forward to more!
PS: In a way, it's a bit of a pity this takes place before Twilight became a Princess and Discord was reformed. Can you imagine Discord as Curry's adoptive pa?
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Glad you liked Jake and the Kid, and for thinking it was exactly what I was trying to do.
I'm going to try and insert a few antagonists into the new story arc, but nothing really serious. I'm going to keep the Kids, kids.
Discord is a bit of a problem for me. I really liked his first appearance. and enjoyed the heck out of his last one, but the two in-between I found annoying as heck and they made me really dislike his character. Even knowing that they served as a useful set up for the ending of season four, I still can't see using the in-between Discord in my story. I just don't think that Discord was at all fun.
As for Twilight and her Wings, I do want that to take place. I think it will provide fertile ground for some fun.
Princess Gilded Clouds Raising Gloriously Into The Dawn Sky Signifying Upcoming Storms...that's one hell of a name.
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All credit, and blames, goes to Georg.
4465436 all I have to say is I hope something good comes her way because I like Hilda.
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The more I work with her in my mind the more I grow to like her as well. Don't fear, she might have to eat a bit of crow, figuratively, but I hope to give her a chance to lighten up.
That said, anyone with strong feelings about Gilda really need to speak up, or be prepared to forever hold your piece if you don't like what I do with her.
Okay, how long is Rarity going to forget she has Starswirl's book?
And on Fluttershy's reaction to would be social climbers in Canterlot pointing their excess stallions at Curry? "Mr. Hairy? Can you do me another small favor?"
Bertie Wooster. *groan*
I *knew* I recognized the character, and when I got to your author's notes, I facefaulted. The very paragon of the "idle rich", and perfect for this chapter.
So the journal shows up! I have to wonder if it will have an effect on Curry aka "Princess Moonlight" *cackles maniacally* I must prepare the popcorn!
Great!
I prefer chapters to be around 10K words, but can handle up to 20K before I think it should be split.
So, a technical note from me.
Rainbow Dash uses the term 'kid' to refer to Curry in this chapter.
Technically, this isn't too much of an issue, except in the previous story you set up an enormously played out gag sequence playing out a 'kid' being a goat's child with the ponies not understanding the human colloquialism of the word to refer to any child.
The net result is a momentary 'wait, hold on' moment.
Might I suggest swapping out kid with, say... 'squirt'? That would still fit Rainbow's vocabulary style without contradicting the gag sequence. (Even if it could be said to be known by this point. Doesn't seem like it would stick.)
Curry with a ton of suitors.
No. Very, very no.
Burlap Pants.
'Legendary Warrior'
Action Figures.
Legend tells of a Legendary Warrior, who's feats were the stuff of LEGEND!
Did Burlap also gain the title of Dragon and know how to cook delicious ramen?
Great
This size chapter is perfect. I don't know if you consider this small or large but I think its just right. Also the story is awesome so far.
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ehhhhh, cooooullld beeeeee.
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Don't worry. That's not going to happen. Somepony else might end up with more than one engagement.
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A valid point. I'll look into fixing it.
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It might have to pass through a few hooves before it gets to Twilight. Haven't decided yet. CMC, awesome magic users?
4468978 Thanks. He clicked perfectly when I needed a character for this part. Not just the idle rich part. Bertie was forever getting engaged to impossible, for one reason or other, fiancee's
4468827 Who says she won't have her own suitors. After all, being step-father to a Princess might bring some leverage.
Mr Harry? Heck, he's really a nice bear, mostly. The one they'd have to worry about is Curry.
Yay Lumpy figured it all out. I can just see him playing up the idea Fluttershy did all the damage to Gilda and smirking inside.
I can't wait to see Wooster try to deal with Curry and Mamashy. I do like him though, since he seems friendly and irritates the old fogey stallions. I wouldn't mind seeing Fancypsnts accompany him to Ponyville to warn everyone about Old Blustery's plans for Jake. I also wouldn't have minded seeing Fancy trash those two amateurs in the sparring ring.
4470083
Step-FATHER? Did that adoption come with a sex change for Fluttershy?
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I was referring to the status of any stallion who married Fluttershy.
You mean the part where Flash delivers Moondancer's journal for Twilight's research into the transformation spell on Curry? Who is soooo NOT Moondancer because Moondancer was an unicorn and they all felt an Alicorn arrive.
What's up with all this Starswirl stuff? It's too early for MMC, not to mention Celestia would be stupid to kick that off right NOW... before they have even had time for the Jake backlash to manifest and get dealt with.
4470786
Crystal Empire exists.
Twilight just pulled off a huge honking spell when she transformed Jake. Luna only supervised and put up a shield. Twilight did the grunt work. She's ready.
4470854 Really? You're actually going to stick with the MMC ascension thing via fancy spell work? After all the implications of alicorns being born not made you put in the first one? They were stunned that Jake was so old, they assumed with complete certainty that there had been an alicorn birth when they sensed Curry's appearance. If you're really going that route then she should have already gotten her alicornhood from the spell with Jake... using the EoH.
And I notice you only addressed five words out of that... Five words that where part of a thirty four word sentence. The least important five words too.
4470890
Don't want to leave you thinking I'm avoiding your points. I'm not really. I can't argue with them.
Yes Moondander was a Unicorn. But Twilight is proof that Unicorns can become Alicorns. I state that she was very accomplished at magic. If Celestia had not been so focused on Luna at the time, maybe she would have taken Moondancer under her wing and eventually Moondancer might have become an Alicorn.
I am not a pro. Not in any way shape or form. I'm teaching myself to write by writing, and screws ups are going to happen. I'm learning. I hope that over time my stories will become smoother and with fewer plot cockups. Right now if I tried to tightly control the story thread, I'd end up blocked and would not be able to write at all.
I write for one reason. Because it's fun. If it stops being fun, I'll stop writing.
Someone pointed out in this chapter that I had them using "kid" in this chapter, when I made a whole Goat joke about it previously. So I went back in an edited out all the Kids. But somethings are not so easy to change.
So I do appreciate people pointing out when I've screwed up, but somethings I just can't fix, or I don't want to fix because darn it, I'm having fun with the way it is now.
I intended to have Celestia and Luna discussing the issue of Twilight's ascension, and because of your comment I will endeavor to try and explain why 'now' when before I might simply have had Luna pacing the floor, wondering why nothing had happened yet.
I don't care about chapter sizes. I've read ~ 1k word chapters up to some ~30k word chapters... However, I do think longer chapters allow for more development than the shorter chapters which have to cram more things in a shorter amount of time leading to a feeling of being rushed.
Put me down as another who likes long chapters, but two shorter chapters posted together is just as good.
Very good update. I loved the little insight into Dash and Gilda's relationship, especially the way Dash zoomed off when she understood that Gilda was really hurt.
The Stallion Club scene was fun. I laughed at the contrast between the setup suggesting a fancy English gentlemen's club and the frat house atmosphere inside. I look forward to finding out how Wooshter gets on with wooing Curry.
Also, I somehow suspect that no matter how the fair sex in the Canterlot upper crust feel about such activities, Applejack and Rainbow Dash could take on the lot of them at boxing, laughing, drinking, and farting. Possibly not smoking.
Poorly written long chapters are an interminable hell. Well written long chapters with engaging characters, an interesting plot and fun descriptions of scenery and interaction are a joy and delight. I'm sure you know which category your literature falls into.
I see Scoots is channeling a little Hostrian stallion there at the end. Heh. ^_^
I noticed something - in this scene, you seem to jump from Applejack to Rainbow Dash.
Shouldn't that first mention be
As for that - "half-hardheartedly"? Is that deliberate, or did you mean either "half-heartedly" or "hard-heartedly?"
Aside from that, wonderful chapter, and seeing Curry adapting and Jake... well, growing up is wonderful!
I spat out my drink all over my screen while reading that, it was so funny!
You owe me some kleenex now.
Um, when did Rainbow Dash enter the cowshed?