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This story is a sequel to Proposal in C Major
Full name: Octavia Melody
Fiancee: Concerto
Arch nemesis: Pinkie Pie
Wedding planner: Pinkie Pie
According to Octavia, Pinkie ruined the Grand Galloping Gala. A random encounter between them sparks an odd arrangement; a chance for Pinkie to redeem herself, and a chance for Octavia's seemingly endless engagement to finally end in the wedding she's always dreamed of.
The sequel to this story is Club Vinyl
(Fantastic) Cover art by Ruffu
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my thoughts.
Um wasnt it everyone that ruined the gala? not just her i mean fluttershy let in all the animals in her rampage.....I am just putting that out there in case it was forgotten since season 1 was ages ago lol.
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Oh yeah, there's no disputing that they all had a hoof in turning the gala upside down. Pinkie just happened to ruin Octavia's particular part if it. From Octavia's limited perspective it was Pinkie's fault.
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That's true.
This is good. I wish for more.
Aww, I hope Pinkie can redeem herself for Octi.
D'awww, more! I need MORE!
Ohh, I hope Pinkie doesn't accidentally mess things up again...
Sorry some of this had been bothering me for abit, and honestly I hope you don't mind if I say this and you don't have to change it. Especially because I'm not a professional or anything it's just a matter of opinion and don't get me wrong I actually love this story its very well written but again its just grammar nags from my editor/friend.
quote]Fluttershy hovered in the air to stay out of Rarity’s way. “Where’s the honeymoon? If you don’t mind my asking.”This dialogue is a little out of character as well as phrased strangely for Fluttershy's character I don't know how cannon you wanted to make the characters.
I felt this was kinda transitioned strangely because all of a sudden she went from slight annoyance to shocked without any explanation as to whether or not she read it or what not.
This is correct grammatically but as many times as I've been nagged by my friend (who is ma editor) for using words over and over such as the "and" here I might have phrased it like "Returning with a glass of water."
Not sure what she's asking in this.
That's all I had for this. Again these are kinda just my observations and I only wanted to say this because its just a thing as well as I thought it might help you if you write more because I certainly want to see you keep writing and this is a great story
Oh and I also like what you did with flutters as well
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I had a lengthly reply typed up, and then my web browser ate it
Thanks for your most excellent suggestions. In the future I'd love to have another set of eyes on my writing prior to letting it loose upon the world.
My responses to your observations:
Regarding Fluttershy's dialogue, I agree that's a tad out of character. I think I was too focused on getting Rarity's voice right. Wether or not I succeeded is another story of course. I made a small tweak, but I'm not sure it's any better.
You're right, the fact that she actually read the letter at all is unclear. I changed it.
You're absolutely right about repeated words. That's something I try (and often fail) to catch in my own self-editing passes. That said, in this case I was deliberately avoiding a gotchya from one of my favorite editing books: joining two actions in a sentence with a comma followed by a verb ending in 'ing'. Apparently this is overdone in modern literature, and it's easy to see why. Sentences flow so nicely this way that I could write page after page like this:
There's also the question of the timing of the two actions. The modified sentence above implies that Rarity simultaneously trotted into the kitchen and returned with the glass of water. Am I being overzealous with this one? Probably
There's no excuse for this one, I dropped a word or two and didn't catch it. Thanks for pointing it out.
Thank you again for your suggestions, I'm glad you've liked the story so far
It was a great story! thanx for looking at mah observations and giving some explanations
I look forward to reading some more of your nice works.
D'aaargh! The adorableness! IT'S KILLING ME!
To tweak a quote from my favourite critic Roger Ebert a little: "I loved this story. Loved loved loved loved loved this story. Loved it. Loved every simpering sweet lovely heart-warming moment of it."
Feels almost like a bridezilla, but as the planner.
Lindsey Stirling would be a musician Octavia and Vinyl would both like.
Oh dear she is not too happy about that but to be honest Pinkie Pie was not the only one who kinda ruined the grand Galloping Gala although it wasn't their fault sort of
Well then this was a very interesting turn of events so Octavia went to sugarcube Corner to get some treat before heading back to Canterlot and she almost lost her ring but good thing mrs. Cake got it for her and they even talk about how the wedding will go and she even told her that she can just do it here in Ponyville despite that Octavia really want to just do it at her hometown but she's thinking about it but until she heard that party pony supposably can help was Pinkie Pie which she freaked out and told her that she ruined her moment in the grand Galloping Gala so she ran away from her but Pinkie Pie really want to make up for the mess back in the grand Galloping Gala and despite Octavia judgments she will give her a chance for now
Yeah exactly she never meant to hurt anybody she just wanted to have fun that's all
Aww the Golden Oak Library I really miss that place so much 😢
Okay looks like things are doing good so far so Octavia and Concerto are going to meet up with Pinkie Pie to meet with the other ponies who's going to help out the wedding planning and it was Pinkie Pie's friends who wanted to help out and it looks like Octavia and Concerto agree to the offer and hopefully the wedding will go without a hitch
Yeah I had to agree Pinkie Pie I know you want to make it up to Octavia but don't you think maybe we should just slow down a bit and think about it
Whoa oh boy she's twilighting again 😳
Ok then this is when things goes crazy but it looks like Octavia and Concerto are basically having lunch at sugarcube corner and pretty much talking about how their future will go and how life will change forever between them meanwhile Pinkie Pie is kind of going overboard with some of the preparation to make everything perfect and oh my goodness Twilight is going twilighting again and she is panicking right now she needs to sleep but I hope Pinkie Pie will calm down
Oh wow Fluttershy that's pretty awesome of you to do that that's why you always been my favorite character 🥰
So it looks like Octavia is getting her dressed fitted and it looks like she's having some thoughts about this whole situation but this will be her special day with a pony she is going to marry with but it looks like the best girl cannot make it because of her injury but it looks like Fluttershy steps up to help her which that's pretty awesome of her to do that and it looks like the writing is about to begin and Vinyl Scratch it's been waiting for this for a long time let's see how the wedding go
That's pretty impressive that Twilight can sleep and stand at the same time
Awww this is actually pretty sweet so it looks like the wedding is on the way and Twilight is still falling asleep after doing all the studying of the wedding vows which she overdid it again and things got bad when the storms that rainbow and the others should have clear it out starting to form and it's starting to rain and Pinkie Pie was trying to calm down everybody but unfortunately the storm says it all Octavia was pretty upset about this whole wedding was ruined things to Pinkie Pie but she thinks about it if it wasn't for her she would never had the surprise engagement From Concerto the pony she fell in love with and the most importantly being with him and the rest of her friends and family on her special day they were going to continue on until she talked with Pinkie Pie telling her it wasn't her fault the most important thing is to make a great wedding nothing too spectacular but a wedding to remember and something like that but I think that's pretty sweet that Octavia actually forgave Pinkie Pie and so they try it again and this time everything was perfect Octavia and Concerto finally got married
Wow that's was a pretty nice story and a very romantic and comedy the Boost so Octavia and Concerto to prepare to go back home but not until the main six gave them one last gift and it was a photograph after the wedding and after all that it turned out the best wedding ever and whatever the future between those two I'm sure they can do it together once again this was awesome keep up the good work