The Better Angel
On the mountain slope of Mount Altai, the city of Talos burned. Fires raged unchecked, their smoke darkening the sky and blotting out the full moon hanging high overhead. What few griffons dared take to the skies to escape the heat were quickly overwhelmed by the noxious fumes and plummeted back to the harsh embrace of the earth. The panicked cries of thousands echoed across the ruins of the once mighty stone walls towards the hastily dug trenches that surrounded the city. The pony soldiers that called the entrenchments home did what they could to block out the horrible sounds, but most would carry them to their grave.
Off the coast of the city, an armada of black-bannered ships sat at anchor in the shadow of the mountain. On their decks, sailors labored unceasingly around the heavy guns that made the Royal Equestrian Navy the most feared on the seas. Great thunderclaps announced to the griffons that death was upon them each time spark was touched to powder. Blinding flashes of light and clouds of acrid smoke were as trumpeters to their terrible payloads of iron and volatile magics.
When they found their new homes in the crumbling husk of the once great griffon Capital, some cannonballs would wreck all in their path whether stone, wood, or flesh. Others would explode on contact, throwing shrapnel in all directions to deliver the unwary and the unlucky to the unyielding grasp of the Endless Beyond.
On the deck of the mightiest ship in the fleet, Princess Luna watched the carnage with empty, lifeless eyes. The wood beneath her hooves trembled each time the Polaris unleashed her devastating sixty-gun broadside. It was at her word the bombardment continued, but she took no joy in the feeling. She took no joy in anything, it seemed.
Princess Luna had rarely enjoyed holding Court during her many years of rule. By its very nature, the activity drew only bad news. If one were to open the Throne Room doors and expect good tidings, they would walk away with only disappointment. The key concept to keep in mind was to expect time to be wasted on the frivolous and mundane, punctuated by short bouts of crisis. Once this became the expectation, any break from routine could only be enjoyable.
She was positive there was a modern saying that expressed the idea succinctly, but at the moment she was unable to remember it. Whatever the saying, Dusk Court was certainly a wonderful improvement on her usual routine. So wonderful, in fact, that Luna only barely restrained herself from glancing at the smaller alicorn by her side.
She couldn't help but note that Twilight wore her crown well. It suited her. She watched silently as the newest Princess delicately maneuvered her way through a hapless noble’s arguments for some frivolous proposal, supposedly to benefit the Crown, but in reality merely a way for him to benefit from the Crown’s bits.
“Lord Under Hoof, I am sorry to say, but I believe that Canterlot’s drainage system is perfectly functional in its present state. While I will certainly consult with the Royal Corps of Engineers, at this time your request for additional pipework beneath your manor is hereby denied.”
Lord Under Hoof sagged, but bowed and left with his collection of documents following behind him in a pale yellow aura. If nothing else, he could accept when he was beaten. Sadly, that was one of the only traits among the Canterlot nobility that could be called anything resembling ‘positive,’ and even that was rare.
As Under Hoof exited the doors, the two guards of her Noctis Custodi looked to Luna expectantly. She shook her head, a silent announcement to not allow the next petitioner through.
“I believe Princess Twilight and I shall take a recess. Announce to the petitioners that Court shall reconvene shortly.”
The thestral guards bowed and joined their counterparts just outside the heavy oak doors. The doors closed again, blocking out the quiet clamor of the Palace halls and leaving the two Princesses to their devices.
As soon as the last sliver of light disappeared from between the doors, Twilight collapsed into the soft, velvet cushion of her throne. She arced her back and a series of loud pops ran down her spine and wings. Luna looked away politely, silently thankful for her dark coat and its blush-masking qualities, something she was even more grateful for as a loud moan of relief echoed through the empty hall.
“Oh my stars, I’ve been wanting to do that for hours,” Twilight groaned. Luna nodded in agreement, her own impressive wings unfolding rather stiffly from being held to her sides for so long.
“I am of much the same mind, Twilight Sparkle,” Luna said as she lightly preened her wings. The misaligned feathers were itchy and distracting, but to resolve the issue in front of her subjects would have been improper. “Court does tend to grate upon one’s body, as well as patience.”
“Tell me about it,” Twilight huffed as she snuggled deeper into her cushion. “That’s the third time Under Hoof’s come to me about that stupid piping issue. You know what he wants the extra drainage for?” she asked.
“I confess, I do not, though he has approached my own Court with the same proposal.”
“He wants to build a water slide coming from his bedroom.”
Luna raised an eyebrow and opened her mouth to reply, but found she had no words. Instead, she found herself silently mouthing ‘water slide’ repeatedly.
“Yeah, that was my initial reaction too,” Twilight remarked dryly.
Luna giggled, but her laughing fit ended with a sigh.
“'Tis a shame, the state of the nobility,” she remarked grimly. “In the heyday of the Kingdom of Everfree, the nobles were the mightiest warriors in all the Inhabited Lands. Equestrian Knights were renowned for both martial skill and uncompromising honor. And now…” Luna trailed off, waving her hoof in the general direction of the doors. “Now they ask the Crown to fund their petty indulgences.”
Twilight said nothing, as she too found the constant games the nobility played tiresome. She had refused to play them as Celestia’s student, despite the fact that many had sought to exploit her position and influence, but as a Princess she could no longer avoid it. The thought struck her that she would rather face the monsters of the Everfree Forest than be forced to repeatedly listen to the pompous aristocracy. She shared the thought aloud, and both Princesses enjoyed a long laugh.
“You know, Luna, I really appreciate you and Princess Celestia doing Dawn and Dusk Court with me. It’s really helping to ease me into the whole… ruling thing.”
Luna noticed how uncomfortable Twilight sounded at the idea of ruling and sent a sympathetic smile her way. It was true that Twilight was inexperienced in Royal matters.That was the entire reason Luna and her sister had begun holding joint Court sessions with her, but she could not abide Twilight putting herself down.
“Would it surprise you to know that Celestia and I were no more comfortable upon taking the throne?” As she spoke, Luna relaxed her forelegs and dropped to the cushion, putting her much closer to Twilight. Twilight’s eyes widened at the admission.
“You’re kidding.”
Luna shook her head, to Twilight's disbelief.
“But you’re so good at it, both of you! I’m just a spellcrafter and librarian who managed to find an extra set of wings laying around.”
Luna laughed, both at Twilight’s words and her dour expression. Luna's silver shod hoof lifted Twilight’s face and forced her to meet Luna's gaze.
“It is merely centuries upon centuries of practice, and no, I shall not divulge how many,” Luna said as she raised her chin haughtily. Twilight chuckled at her antics, so she continued. “And you are much more skilled in these matters than you give yourself credit for. Have you allowed a single frivolity to escape your notice, or put your stamp to any such self-serving proposals?”
Twilight shook her head, and hesitantly returned Luna’s beaming grin. “I guess not. But—"
Luna pressed her hoof delicately against Twilight's lips to silence her.
“But nothing, Twilight Sparkle. You have many great talents, but sadly not the ability to recognize them. As such, the duty falls to those whom you would call friend.”
Twilight blushed, and Luna found herself unable to look away from the beautiful, bashful mare. The eye contact lasted for what felt like hours, but in reality was only seconds. She might have been wrong, but Luna thought that it seemed that, perhaps, Twilight was drifting ever so slowly closer to her. Later, she would realize that she had been as well.
The spell was broken by the loud thump of the doors opening. Luna and Twilight scrambled away from each other, deep blushes covering their faces, as they pushed themselves back into their royal postures. The chattering of hooves on marble echoed as Princess Celestia approached the throne, a light smile on her face.
“Luna, Twilight, good morning. How was Dawn Court?” she asked brightly. Celestia, as could be expected of the Warden of the Sun, was a disgustingly cheerful morning pony.
Luna was caught flat-hoofed and unable to form even the most simple of sentences as she struggled to gain control of her flushed features. Had she been asked, she would have been hard-pressed to even recall her own name.
Fortunately, Twilight responded first with a cough into her hoof.“I-it was good. Great, even! R-right, Luna?”
Luna nodded furiously, not trusting her own voice at the moment. The momentary loss of control had taken her by surprise.
Celestia raised an eyebrow. “Truly?” she asked curiously. “I would have thought that would be the last word used to describe a morning of petitioners. Did they bring actual issues as opposed to their normal antics?”
“Uh, no.”
Celestia continued to stare inquisitively, so Twilight nervously continued.
“It’s just, well, you know what they say: good company can make anything fun.” Luna couldn't help but notice Twilight's blush intensify slightly on the words 'good company.'
Princess Celestia seemed to accept that, to both Luna's and Twilight's relief. Moving on, she climbed the dais and eagerly presented a scroll to the two smaller alicorns.
“I suppose so. But, as for why I am here so early, I have news.”
Bright flashes in the sky above Talos drew Luna’s attention back to reality. Her eyes lazily drifted to where the lights had been a moment before. Moments later, more streaks of fire rained down on the dying city. A bolt of lightning passed between clouds and illuminated their source: a flight of a half-dozen airships.
The craft were new to Luna, despite the technology being almost a century old. On her return, she had marveled at the vessels that allowed earth ponies and unicorns to experience what had once been the sole domain of the pegasi.
Now, she saw them as she saw nearly everything else: tools. Weapons to be wielded against her enemies, and with a half-dozen light cannons on board, the militarized airships were wonderful weapons. While not as destructive as the constant pounding from the naval guns, the airships’ armament was able to target more precisely than the fleet.
“Your Majesty?”
A voice behind her announced the return of her adjutant, Lieutenant Commander Deep Sea. Luna twitched her wing to signal the mare to approach, never taking her eyes from the aerial cannon fire.
Deep Sea’s coat was the same color as a warm tropical ocean, and her mane was a dark green that matched well. The white naval uniform she wore concealed her cutie mark, but Luna knew it to be a tall, rolling wave. Suspended in her magic was a clipboard filled to bursting with reports.
“Your Majesty, I’ve finished compiling logistics reports for the Armada and the troops ashore.”
A drawn out silence followed, no doubt Deep Sea waiting for Luna to reply, but she said nothing. When she realized Luna did not intend to respond, Deep Sea continued. “Munitions are running low across the board, but if we reduce the rate of bombardment to—"
“No.”
Luna winced as a lance of fire shot down her throat. It was the first time she had spoken in hours, and her throat was painfully dry. Even to her own ears, her voice was flat and lifeless. Luna imagined that if a corpse could speak, it would sound much the same.
“Princess, we brought enough powder and shot for a two-week barrage, but if we continue at the current pace—“
“I am aware of the situation. I have already sent word for ammunition resupply. Munitions ships are expected to arrive in two days.” Somewhere, in the deep recesses of her mind, Luna could hear a mare's voice chiding her for being rude. Deep Sea was simply doing her job. Luna knew she shouldn't speak down to her, but she could not find the energy to care.
Despite the slight, Deep Sea continued as if nothing had transpired. It was a testament to her professionalism.
“There is also the issue of wear on our guns. The constant firing is—"
Yet again, Luna cut her off.
“The barrage shall continue until I order otherwise. You are dismissed.” Luna heard Deep Sea sigh quietly, but it was quickly followed by the nearly inaudible sound of her salute. The tapping of hooves on wood signaled her departure, but stopped after only a few steps.
“Princess, would you like me to arrange a meal for you? Or a bed?” Deep Sea's voice was soft, too quiet to carry to the exhausted sailors scurrying across the deck around them. It carried a deep undercurrent of concern and sincerity.
“Captain Astrum.”
In an instant, there was a whoosh as a thestral guard descended from the rigging above to stand at Luna's side. Luna spared a glance behind her, catching sight of the Captain of her Guard standing rigidly between herself and her adjutant, a stern visage on his face.
“Majesty. Lieutenant Commander, you are dismissed. My stallions shall escort you back to shore.” Deep Sea blinked and glanced backwards. Sure enough, two more guards of the Noctis Custodi were on either side of her, their sharp purple armor blending into the omnipresent darkness. Luna thought she saw a flicker of fear pass over Deep Sea's face, but it was gone before she could be sure.
Deep Sea appeared to consider protesting for a fraction of a second, but a single sharp look of reproach from Captain Astrum seemed to shatter her resistance. Deep Sea saluted sharply, then turned and made her way towards the launch that would take her back to shore. The thestrals followed her, sticking to her like glue.
“A diplomatic tour?” Twilight asked, her head tilted in confusion. Celestia nodded with a smile.
“Yes, to all of Equestria’s allies, neighbors, and trade partners.”
Twilight’s eyebrow was perpetually raised and had been since Celestia had brought up the topic.“Okay, but…why me?”
Celestia rolled her eyes as if it was obvious.
“Twilight, you are a Princess now if you’ll recall,” Celestia joked. “Luna undertook a similar tour after her return. It is simply to acclimate the leaders of our fellow nations to the newest member of Equestrian Royalty.”
Twilight looked to Luna for confirmation. She nodded, but continued staring at her sister skeptically.
“Sister, do you not think Twilight is perhaps too young for such a trip?”
Celestia didn’t scoff, but she didn’t appear to be far from it. “Luna, you are speaking of the mare who overcame Discord nearly single-hoofedly. If an Ursa Minor posed no danger to her, I’m sure Twilight can handle a crowd of diplomats.”
Luna looked far from assured.
“Twilight, what are your feelings on this?” Luna asked gently.
Twilight bit her lip and glanced between the two sisters.
“I-if Princess Celestia thinks I can handle it, then…then I guess I can. I am a Princess after all, right?” Twilight gave a halfhearted grin, which Celestia returned brilliantly.
“Excellent. I have made all the necessary preparations, so that you may leave whenever you are ready, Twilight. Perhaps a week from today?”
“Luna!”
The loud shout carried over the wind and rain that numbed Luna’s coat and burned her ears. A volley of cannon fire barked out from the side of the Polaris, masking the sound of hooves crashing onto the wooden deck. Luna didn’t turn. She hadn’t moved from her position in three weeks, since the bombardment of Talos had begun.
“Luna?”
The familiar voice was softer this time, closer. A bolt of lightning from the churning pegasi-crafted thunderstorm overhead cast a shadow, larger than her own, beside her for a fraction of a second.
A hoof, its warmth almost blazing against her cold exterior, rested on her withers. She did not react.
“Please, sister, answer me. I beg of you, speak to me.”
Luna didn’t turn to address her sister, but her ears did flick in acknowledgement.
“Why have you come here?” Her voice came out raspy from disuse. She had had neither food nor water, or sleep for that matter, since before the expedition set out. She hadn’t felt the desire. She hadn’t felt much of anything.
“I’ve come to ask you to stop.”
Luna felt a crack somewhere. She couldn’t quite say where, only that it ached.
“No.” It was the most energy she had pushed into her words in recent memory, and the finality of it rang across the deck. Sailors within earshot stopped in their tracks before quickly scurrying away from the Princesses.
“Please, Luna, I hate them, despise them for what they did just as much as you. But this isn’t right, this isn’t what she—"
Luna whirled on her, wrath pouring off her like heat from a torch. “DO NOT SPEAK TO ME OF HER!”
Celestia recoiled in fear, her hind legs giving out beneath her from the shock of Luna’s sudden fury. Her sister’s voice overpowered the roaring of the wind, the rain, and the cannon fire as easily as a pony stomping an insect.
As quickly as it came, the rage dissipated. In its wake, it left only the exhaustion and emptiness so familiar to the Princess of the Night. She looked down and noted with detachment that she had left smoldering hoof prints in the wood grain. The rain wasted no time in smothering the upstart smoke, and it seemed an apt metaphor to her addled mind.
Drearily, Luna returned to her vigil by the ship’s railing.
Celestia sat frozen for several minutes, trying to regain control of her shaking limbs and pounding heart. She had never been as terrified of her sister as at the moment she had snapped at her, save perhaps the Longest Night of a thousand years past. Even that had been tempered by concern, but not her most recent outburst. The thought was chilling.
Gradually, Celestia’s body returned to proper obedience. She pushed herself to her hooves and moved to stand beside her sister. She said nothing, unsure of what to say. She wondered if there was even anything to be said at all.
Lacking the words, she stood beside her sister as Talos was wrecked to its foundations.
“Okay, Spike, I’m trusting you with the library while I’m gone. Make sure to record every book checked in or out, and remember that Sunday is Reshelving Day. And don’t forget to feed Owlowiscious twice a day, no more. Oh! And don’t forget to—"
“Twilight!” Twilight abruptly stopped finicking with Spike’s spines, much to the amusement the Princesses.
More calmly now that he had her attention, Spike continued. “Twilight, it’s okay. I’ve take care of the library before. I’m a big dragon, I’ll be fine.”
Twilight stopped and gave her assistant a motherly smile. “You’re right. You are, and you will be. I trust you,” she said as she enveloped him in a tight hug. Spike made a show of being embarrassed, but returned the gesture with just as much affection when he thought nopony was looking.
Twilight blinked away tears as she released him.
“Right, well, I guess it’s time I get going.” Celestia and Luna, having both already said their goodbyes, took turns embracing her, the latter of which caused Celestia to raise a curious eyebrow.
Twilight stepped away from the Princesses and dragon, a light dusting of blush on her cheeks, and walked up the plank that led to the Royal Airship. The half-dozen stallions of the Noctis Custodi that would accompany her, at Luna's insistence, followed closely behind. At the top of the ramp, she stopped and turned around to wave.
The three on the dock returned the wave as the airship’s door closed, blocking Twilight and the guards from sight. Calls to cast off lines rang along the dock, and with a slight lurch, the craft was free. The engines roared to life to push it away from the mountain, the wind throwing up any loose debris around the skyport. In minutes, the airship was out of sight and well on its way to Zebrica, the first stop of the month-long tour.
“Well, shall we?” Celestia asked as she headed back towards the castle. Spike followed closely behind her, as did Luna after taking a final look over her shoulder.
Celestia hadn’t been able to sleep since she’d joined her sister and the expedition fleet. The never-ending booming of the artillery, the quaking of the ship from the force of the guns, and the rocking of the sea had formed a trifecta of insomnia. She took solace in the fact that, as Luna proved, alicorns did not necessarily need sleep. Regardless, she craved its gentle touch.
Instead of wasting time tossing and turning in the opulent cabin she had been provided, Celestia had decided to visit the various ships and the troops ashore. The hard earth beneath her hooves, reduced to mud from to the endless thunderstorm Luna had ordered placed over Talos, had been a small comfort. Regardless, there had been no escape from cannon fire as she toured the entrenchments while the smaller field guns did what damage they could do.
After nearly a month of siege, Talos looked nothing like it had. Every building from the highest point up the mountain to the coastal wall had been systematically targeted. While not every structure was completely destroyed, the Equestrian gunners were certainly working their way down the list. Celestia suspected Luna wouldn’t be satisfied until no two stones sat upon each other in good order.
The casualties in the city were impossible to estimate, though it was certainly a matter of percentages now rather than a mere tally. Whether the significant statistic was the percentage of dead or that of those who still lived, she had no idea.
With both Equestrian Princesses away from Canterlot, Celestia received a constant stream of mail via daily courier ships. Dispatches and letters arrived nearly every day from the other nations of the world. The Zebras continued to plead for Equestria to cease its siege on Talos, while the Minotaurs and Camels sent missives detailing their support. Those disgusted her, for while Luna at least had purpose for her crusade, they merely desired to see their rival weakened.
Saddle Arabia’s envoy stood out among them. She had brought only a message of condolence and had seemed to grieve genuinely, even to Celestia’s politically trained eye. It was almost refreshing, and she made note to thank them for their support later.
Conspicuously absent was word from the Crystal Empire. She had sent dozens of messages to Cadence, left alone in the Crystal Spire as Shining Armor had brought as many Crystal Knights as he could gather to support the siege. Even as she walked among the earthen ramparts, the Knights held the section trenches that encroached the closest to Talos’ walls. Or, rather, the piles of rubble that had once been walls.
Celestia nearly began to cry, but through sheer force of will, she maintained her composure. She had lost herself once over Twilight, and she could not afford to do so again. Her week of mourning locked away in her room had done too much damage, allowed too much of what might have been avoided to come to pass.
With a deep sigh of regret and longing for better days, Celestia departed the ponies ashore and the comforting earth beneath her. When she returned to her stifling cabin aboard the Polaris, she opened another inkwell and drew a fresh sheet of parchment. Equestria needed at least one functioning Princess, and once again she was left holding the bag. Perhaps later she would again get the chance to sleep, and to grieve.
2 o’clock was always a poor time for Day Court. The feeling of wellness that lunch brought had long since evaporated, and the end of the day was still hours away. The constant droning of the nobility grated on Celestia’s nerves even after more than a millennium of experience. While she certainly had the skills for navigating the political intrigue, it was far from enjoyable. It actually drifted closer towards tedium, as after enough time, the plots seemed to repeat themselves.
The routine was broken, however, by an urgent pounding on the throne room doors. The Duke who had been doing everything in his power to convince her Canterlot Park should be opened for commercial development sputtered indignantly as the doors flew open, ushering in a troop of Royal Guards. They trotted urgently down the carpet that marked the path to the throne, the ranking member of the group barely taking time to bow before he quickly ascended the stairs.
Head tilted in curiosity, Celestia leaned down so that he could whisper into her ear. His breath was heavy from exertion, and Celestia estimated that he had most likely run across the breadth of Canterlot Castle to deliver the message, no small feat in heavy gilded armor.
“Your Highness, a guard from Princess Twilight’s retinue has arrived in the city. He is gravely injured and requests Your Highness and Princess Luna at once.”
Without hesitation, Celestia leapt from her throne, her wings extending to slow her descent. The guard that had informed her was at her side in an instant. “He is in the Royal Infirmary, Your Highness. Word has already been sent to awaken Princess Luna.”
Celestia nodded and trotted towards the Infirmary barely short of a gallop, the Duke long forgotten in her wake. The guards sent to fetch her fell in behind her, wary of whatever had inflicted the injuries on their comrade.
The labyrinthine hallways of the castle passed in a blur, and Celestia quickly found herself passing through the unfamiliar Infirmary. She rarely had personal need of the services it provided and, as such, had little knowledge of its layout.
The group caught a passing nurse who dutifully led them to one of the only occupied rooms in the facility. Inside, doctors and nurses crowded around a bloodstained gurney. Heavily damaged pieces of purple armor littered the floor, seemingly pulled off in a frenzy. Healing spells designed to stop bleeding and fuse bone were being cast again and again.
Sweat marred the foreheads of both unicorn doctors as they concentrated their combined arcane skills to save the injured soldier’s life. Each time their horn lit anew, another pained grunt would rise up from the mess of torn flesh that was the thestral guard.
Celestia was unsure at first if she should proceed, but through the tangle of bodies that surrounded him, the guard managed to catch sight of her. In a surprisingly calm and collected voice considering how much of his blood lay in puddles on the floor, he called to her.
“Your Highness, I br—" He devolved into a fierce coughing fit, and blood splattered across his pillow, but he quickly composed himself. “I bring urgent news.”
All doubt vanquished, Celestia squeezed between the medical staff, who had yet to take notice of her beyond annoyed glances as she got in their way. She managed to find an island of unused space near the head of the bed where she could easily communicate with the thestral.
“What of Twilight? Has she been injured?”
The guard shook his head, though his grimace implied the motion was a painful one.
“She was physically unharmed when I last saw her, Princess.”
Somewhat relieved, Celestia gestured to his injuries.
“What attacked you?”
“Griffons, Highness.”
An icy chill went down Celestia’s spine.
“Give me your report. I wish to know all of what transpired.” Her voice was firm, hard. It was the voice of a war leader. The transition was seamless, and it would have shocked most of her subjects just how quickly it had happened.
“The tour went well, no issues until we reached the griffon Capital. The first two days were without incident, but on the third day it was revealed that the Winglord wished to betroth his eldest son to Princess Sparkle.”
Celestia most certainly did not like where he was going, but inclined her head for him to continue.
“The Princess politely refused, but as the Winglord continued to insist and she continued to decline, the Crown Prince became enraged at the perceived insult." Celestia had little difficulty believing that. The Crown Prince of Talos was renowned for his short temper.
"He attempted to attack the Princess, and Corporal Bellator was killed when he intercepted the Prince. After that, the meeting devolved into a melee, and we lost two more of our number before we could extract the Princess.”
The injured guard swallowed deeply and grit his teeth as the magic of the doctors worked to stop the hemorrhaging blood vessels in his side. He took several rapid, deep breaths and forced himself to continue.
“We attempted to retreat to the airship, but we were unable to reach it and were forced to hole up in an auxiliary kitchen. Lieutenant Aelius ordered me to return with word to Equestria and stated he would hold as long as possible. That was approximately two days ago, Highness.”
“Luna, we must be extremely careful in how we proceed.” Celestia spoke calmly, though she was as anxious as her sister clearly felt.
“Careful? CAREFUL?!” Luna’s voice boomed in Celestia’s private chamber. “They dare assault an Equestrian Princess under a banner of diplomacy, and you would have Us tread carefully?”
Celestia stood and held her sister’s gaze seriously.
“I would. We have no indication Twilight herself has been injured, and if she has in fact been captured, as seems to be the case, antagonizing the Winglord will do us no good.”
From the look on Luna’s face, Celestia might well have suggested they swap cosmological bodies for the week.
“The petty Bird King would do well to remember that it is not he who wields the power of the heavens.”
“What would you have us do, then?” Celestia asked, her patience wearing thin at Luna’s continued belligerency. “Have us march to Talos and pry Twilight from his talons?”
To Celestia’s astonishment and dismay, Luna met her attack.
“I would! Is Equestria to be the paper tiger, our royalty hounded in every court under the sky only to be met by a strongly worded letter of protest? Shall I send word to scuttle the fleet and recast the swords to ploughshares?”
“ENOUGH!” The force of Celestia’s voice shook the windows and knocked books from their shelves. The guards outside her doors stirred, but did not enter without her order. Had anypony else been present, they would have been cowed into submission by her outburst.
Luna, however, was not anypony else. She was the Princess of the Night, and every bit her sister’s equal. She stood defiant, her wings outstretched to meet the challenge. When she spoke, it was with cold determination.
“I shall send word to the griffons. Twilight is to be returned, or there shall be war.” Luna glared at Celestia as if waiting for her to challenge her pledge. Celestia remained silent, as she knew even she could not restrain Luna at the moment. Perhaps later, after she had time to cool her temper.
Without another word said, Luna brushed past her and took flight from her balcony.
In her private cabin, Celestia was once again hard at work sorting through the many overlapping layers of bureaucracy. Equestria had never been without its ruler for more than a day at most, and the siege was cresting its fifth week. Government functionaries were having mounting difficulties performing their day-to-day duties in the absence of the Princesses, and as a result, the river of mail was quickly turning to a flood.
She was thrown a life preserver, then, when a heavy knock sounded on her door.
“Enter.” The door, swollen from the humid air, groaned as it was pushed open. In the threshold stood Ardent Watch, one of her personal guard.
“Your Highness, I would advise you to make your way to the top deck immediately,” he said with a crisp salute. Celestia tilted her head at him curiously.
“Oh? Has Luna sent for me?” she asked, a small sliver of hope in her voice.
Understandably hesitant to crush his ruler’s optimism, he nevertheless shook his head.
“No, Your Highness, but I believe a major development is under way. I was unable to determine the exact nature, but the Noctis Custodi has ordered the crew to quarters and cleared the skies."
Celestia furrowed her eyes.
“That is odd,” she agreed. She glanced at the paperwork in front of her and made her decision. The quill suspended in her magic returned to its inkwell.
With Ardent Watch and another of her Dawn Guard beside her, she made her way upwards. As soon as she cleared the hatch, her face was bathed in bright moonlight. She was unsurprised to find her sister where she had left her, but she was not expecting the unusually heavy presence of her thestral soldiers. Bat-winged ponies were stationed on all three of the ship’s masts, and more flew patterns in the skies above. An orderly cluster of purple armor surrounded Luna, though they maintained a healthy distance from their charge.
Among the shadows and light-stealing shades of steel, Celestia and the gilded armor of her guards stood out brightly.
As she would have expected, nopony objected as Celestia made to stand beside her sister. The thestral guards parted to allow her entry, though when they re-formed, they did not include her in their perimeter.
“Is something amiss?” Celestia asked, more to the soldiers of the Noctis Custodi than her sister. Luna had spoken little since Twilight had been delivered to Canterlot, and eventually, Celestia had been forced to concede to her silence.
It was unexpected, then, when Luna answered her.
“The Winglord is coming.”
Celestia started from the unexpected reply and cast a surreptitious glance at her sister. Luna offered no further commentary, and Celestia turned her attention to the sky. The normally churning skies had calmed, and the stars were visible through gaping patches in the cloudbank. The moon was out in all its glory and cast the world in soft tones of blue that belied the macabre nature of the evening.
It was nearly an hour before a tiny cluster of specks lifted into the sky from the smoking remains of the Grand Aerie at the summit of Mount Altai. The palace had once been one of the most renowned feats of architecture in the world, cast in immaculate marble and trimmed with priceless gems obtained as spoils from the conquests of Winglords past. Now, the jewels were shattered and the marble was falling apart from stresses it had never been designed to endure.
The formation was quickly intercepted by a flight of thestral guards and escorted towards the fleet. As they approached, Celestia caught sight of not only the elaborate silver armor of the Winglord, but also the ceremonial bronze of the Underlord, and a half dozen of the King’s Guard. From the corner of her eye, Celestia noticed Luna stiffen.
The griffons touched down on the deck of the Polaris gracefully, taking care to avoid the ship’s rigging as they did so. The ponies who had escorted them aboard the ship broke away and took up roost below the topgallants. The sight of hundreds of yellow eyes shining all around them must have been unnerving, but the griffons hardly took notice.
The Winglord straightened himself to his full height, which came just short of matching Luna. His physique was impressive, but he carried himself with dignity and not the arrogance Celestia had expected. His eyes were sharp and betrayed great alertness, giving a sense that nothing could escape his gaze.
The Underlord, the Winglord’s son and the Crown Prince of the Empire, was a stark contrast to his father. While he matched the elder physically, even standing still he seemed to be trying to throw his weight around to intimidate those who saw him. His chest was puffed in such a manner that Celestia suspected it was more habit than conscious effort. His talons were filed to points sharper than any useful purpose beyond their aggressive appearance.
The griffon soldiers wore polished iron armor that, while still not well-adorned, was more highly decorated than the rank-and-file legionnaires. Their eyes scanned the ship and the countless sets of purple armor that surrounded them. Their steel talonblades dug into the wood of the deck from the tense pressure of their wielders.
“Your Highnesses.” The Winglord gave a shallow bow of his head, and after a moment of hesitation, the Underlord begrudgingly followed suit.
Luna stared at him, and for the first time since she had tried to convince her sister to abandon her crusade, Celestia saw something stir in her eyes. The seed quickly blossomed into unconcealed hate. Boiling rage threw Luna’s mane into a roiling frenzy, its normally tranquil stars pulsing like the thundering heartbeat of a predator about to land the killing blow.
“State your business,” she ordered. Her manner was unmistakable, but she managed a nearly civil tone. The Winglord rose from his bow and met her chilly gaze before dropping his head in submission.
“I ask you to lift your siege upon my flock,” he said humbly. “I plead for mercy. Our army is shattered, our city burns. Hatchlings starve, and their mothers spill blood over what food remains when they are not being slaughtered by your artillery. Please, accept our surrender and grant us mercy.”
The abrupt shift took Celestia by surprise, as did the fact that he had nearly ignored her. Had he not cited her in his initial greeting, she would have thought he had yet to catch sight of her. She pondered that, and all at once her reality shifted.
For their entire lives, Celestia and Luna had been near-equals. Only by age was Celestia given the advantage, but from the moment they had taken the throne, she had pulled ahead even if by only the slightest of margins. When a decision was to be made between them, Celestia usually spoke first, and more often than not it, was her way that was agreed upon. It was her name that was announced first, as ‘Celestia and Luna’ and rarely ‘Luna and Celestia.’
She was the elder sister, and Luna the younger. In the thousand years of Luna’s absence, Celestia had undoubtedly become Equestria’s ruler. The addition of three alicorns hadn’t done much to shift the balance of power away from her, as her seniority and experience seemed to appoint her ahead of the others.
But now, aboard the mightiest warship in the Equestrian navy, with the Winglord of the griffons almost kneeling before them, it was not Celestia who wore the true crown. It was Luna.
When Luna spoke, her voice was colder than ice and sharper than the Underlord’s overly manicured talons.
“Mercy?” Luna tilted her head in faux confusion. “You slay the brightest star in the sky and you dare ask Us for mercy?”
Celestia and Luna stood in the courtyard of their palace with anxious anticipation. Their eyes were glued to the dying light of the sky in search for the chariot that was to arrive from the East. A curious mixture of hope, anxiety, and eagerness flooded their beings as they forced themselves to refrain from bouncing in place.
After almost a week of heated standoff and threats of war, the Winglord had sent word that he would return Princess Twilight Sparkle. In anticipation on her arrival, her friends and family had gathered in Canterlot to welcome her home. Beside the Princesses, Spike shifted his weight as he too watched for any sign of the chariot’s arrival. Twilight’s friends were due to arrive by train within the hour, and Princess Cadence and Shining Armor were expected on the next train.
“Well, sister? Was I not correct in stating that the griffons would relent in the face of Equestrian might?” Luna asked smugly. She lightly jabbed Celestia in her ribs and raised her eyebrow expectedly. Celestia rolled her eyes.
“I am certainly big enough to admit when I am wrong, and you were indeed correct.”
“I would agree. You are most certainly big enough, sister.” Luna giggled.
Celestia gasped in mock hurt and made a show of turning up her chin with a huff. After the stresses and disagreements the crisis had brought, it felt wonderful to simply laugh again.
“Hey, I think I see something!” Spike shouted. His claws pointed out a distant speck on the horizon being led by a pair of Royal Guards.
Celestia and Luna immediately ceased their banter as they watched the chariot grow larger. The four griffons pulling the craft came rapidly into focus and circled once before making to land. As they did, it became obvious that the chariot was in fact an enclosed carriage. Its dark oak wood seemed black in the fading light, and for reasons she couldn’t identify, its façade knotted Celestia’s stomach.
Luna nearly lost her composure as the wheels of the carriage touched down on the white pavestones and rolled to a stop a short distance away. The griffon drivers unhitched themselves quickly and formed two lines at the rear of the carriage. The Princesses stopped their approach in confusion and then horror as the rear doors of the carriage opened and, instead of Princess Twilight, revealed only a simple pine box.
A casket.
The griffons labored in silence. Not even the wind dared to make a sound as disbelief dominated the faces of the Princesses, Spike, and even the normally stoic masks of the pair of Royal Guards behind them. With great care not to jostle their cargo, the griffons crossed the distance between the two groups and gently placed the casket on the ground.
Their duty complete, the four backed away slowly with their heads bowed down. They refused to meet the ponies’ eyes and wore their shame openly. They did not rehitch themselves, instead choosing to line up against the side of their carriage.
Spike was the first to move, a hesitant step that moved him forward less than an inch. However small, it was sufficient to break the spell over the witnesses. His quiet voice echoed across the square.
“No,no no nononononono…”
The slapping of his claws against the stone grew rapid and before either Princess could stop him Spike dashed forward. In a flash, he threw the lid open to reveal the body resting inside.
Princess Twilight Sparkle, clad in her royal regalia, her coat brushed to an immaculate sheen. Her mane and tail were similarly cared for, with nary a hair out of place. Her eyes were closed, and her hooves were drawn close to her body to give the impression she was merely sleeping.
Celestia’s heart shattered. Spike dropped to the ground, his legs no longer able to support his weight. As quickly as she could, Celestia gathered him to her chest, both to console him and to shield his eyes from the sight. Hot tears quickly soaked her coat as the orphan drake’s sobs pierced the air. Celestia held him tightly to give him what little comfort she had to offer.
The shock wore off the Royal Guards moments later, and like lightning, they had the griffon drivers at spear-point. More soldiers quickly arrived to restrain them with rough iron shackles. The guards ushered them away from the square towards the dungeons to be dealt with later.
Celestia took no notice of them, her own eyes clouded by tears. Memories of the filly who had filled the palace with such life and vibrancy washed over her. Jagged shards stabbed against her chest as grief threatened to consume her.
From a distance, Twilight’s appearance had appeared immaculate. To a passerby, she could have been in deep slumber. Up close, the veneer of serenity wore thin.
Heavy bruising covered Twilight’s face, easily discernable despite the expert applications of makeup. Her right foreleg bent ever so slightly below her knee, betraying the broken bone. Burns concealed by brushing fur over the wounds stood out like fireflies in the night.
When Celestia saw the worst sign of abuse, she nearly vomited.
Despite the thorough steps taken to conceal it, it was clear Twilight’s virtue had been taken. Violently.
Unable to bear the sight any longer, Celestia used her foreleg to cradle Spike against her and retreated from the sight. She was shaky, and kept silent from the certainty that if she spoke it would be an incoherent scream. Her breathing came hard, and her focus was so thrown she only noticed Luna when she stumbled into her.
Luna had been frozen in place from the moment the carriage’s rear doors had opened. The force of her sister’s collision did little to wake her from her trance, but did launch her forward. Celestia watched, unable to look away, as Luna moved to Twilight’s side.
A shaky blue hoof slowly reached out to caress Twilight’s face. Tears overwhelmed Luna’s defenses and streamed down her cheeks in steady streams. Her mouth opened and closed wordlessly, unable to find the sounds to describe what she was witnessing.
“I…I…”
“I LOVED HER!”
Luna was a force of nature. Her eyes were aglow with power as raw magic erupted from her horn. Wood beneath her cracked and blackened from the arcane energy the Princess of the Night was shedding. The clouds above swirled violently as nature itself was subjugated by Luna’s wrath.
“SHE REDEEMED ME!” Luna screamed, tears floating in the air around her as magic upset the bounds of physics. “SHE CAST ASIDE MY MADNESS AND RAISED ME INTO THE LIGHT!”
The griffons, renowned the world over for their courage and sense of pride, cowered beneath the raging Goddess.
“THOU HAST STRUCK DOWN THE BRIGHTEST STAR IN THE SKY AND DAREST ASK US FOR MERCY?”
All at once, the storm calmed. The frothing of the sea stilled, and the light from Luna’s horn dimmed. She lowered her head to come muzzle-to-beak with the Winglord, and her eyes gripped his essence in a vice grip.
“I will show you the mercy given to her.”
Faster than Celestia could process, the Winglord was impaled through his chest by a glittering shard of dark blue magic. He gasped and clutched fruitlessly at the intruder until it dissipated, leaving a gaping hole in his middle.
“Father!”
The Underlord, at the sight of his father’s mortal wounding, momentarily overcame the existential terror he had felt from Luna’s display. He lunged at her, his razor-sharp talons reaching for her vulnerable neck. He was born of the greatest predators of both sky and earth, and struck with all the force given to him by his ancestry.
Luna’s magic gripped him tight before his rear paws left the deck. The shimmering glow contracted and threatened to crush his ribs to powder. He was lifted into the air, and his six limbs stretched outwards tautly. The tendons screamed at him in protest, but he lacked the air in his lungs to voice his agony.
The six griffons of the King’s Guards tensed to come to their charges’ defense, but before they had so much as twitched the Noctis Custodi descended upon them. Six precise strikes felled the griffons and stained the charred deck red.
Luna’s eyes narrowed as she raised herself against the Underlord.
“You,” Luna spat. Her voice contained as much rage and hatred as it had when she had spoken to his father, but now it contained a new element: disgust. “There is honor in a father who defends his son despite his crimes,” she said with a glance to the dying Winglord, who was watching the exchange helplessly. “But there is no creature so repugnant as the monster who shields himself with innocents.”
“I—"
“BE SILENT!” Luna screeched inches from the Griffon Prince’s face, silencing his fledgling defense.
“Every day at high noon, it was broadcast: ‘Let he who slayed the Princess surrender himself, and peace shall return.’”
“They surrendered! All three of them!” the Underlord shrieked, his voice sounding much like his avian progenitors.
“The false confessors sent in your stead were hung as conspirators, but not murderers, and most certainly not as rapists.” The Underlord’s eyes widened in fear and realization.
“I am no fool, little bird. I know it was you who assaulted Twilight Sparkle. I know it was you who led the acts of torture and defilement inflicted upon her.” Luna growled at him, her teeth bared. It was perhaps a trick of the light, but Celestia could have sworn she saw fangs in her sister’s maw. Luna turned her back again, and her horn ignited. One of the Polaris’s deck guns, a sixty-four pound carronade weighing thousands of pounds, broke away from the chains securing it against recoil. With a flick of her head, Luna hurled it into the sea. Her eyes cold and murderous, Luna returned her gaze to the Underlord.
“I could have reduced your city to nothing in an instant with but a thought, but I refrained. Instead, I gave you weeks to surrender yourself and face justice, and until that time came, you would watch your citizens pay the debt you owed.” Luna snarled and pushed her face forward, leaving the Underlord nowhere else to look.
“But instead, you cowered and hid, safe in the bosom of luxury at the mountain’s crest. Sheltering such a vile, disgusting criminal, that was your father’s crime.” Luna pulled her face away and roughly shoved the Underlord’s beak to the side, towards his father who lay gasping for air on the deck. Blood pooled around him and leaked from his beak as he writhed on the deck, alone.
“And now you shall watch the Empire christened your birthright burn before you. Know that you alone has brought its end, and that you alone could have saved it.”
Luna turned away from the Underlord, then thought better of it and glanced towards one of her guards. “String him up.”
Without hesitation, rope was brought forward, and the Underlord was released from Luna’s magic and tied to the ship’s foremast. His arms and legs were wrapped painfully around the mast so that his stomach was turned towards Talos. Their task complete, the guards withdrew.
Luna approached him, a shard of magic similar to the one that had doomed the Winglord floating beside her. In a single slice, the Underlord was gelded and the revolting member tossed before him. His screams echoed over the water so that every sailor in the fleet could hear his pained cries. Luna stared him down as his adrenaline-fueled struggles drained with his blood.
When he lost the strength to resist, dark blue magic tilted his head up towards the city that was his home. Luna’s horn pulsed with power and cast the clouds aside, unleashing soft moonlight to illuminate the landscape. There was a heartbeat of peaceful silence, and then the sky fell.
The stars seemed to ripple and detach themselves from the Firmament of the Heavens, and as the Underlord watched, they released themselves to the earth. Streaks of flame clawed grievous wounds through the atmosphere, their brilliance such that the late hour shone brightly as high noon. Fearsome banshee shrieks trumpeted their approach, and the ocean trembled in fear of the wrathful Goddess’s might unleashed upon the world.
Sirius was the first to impact, but was followed in such close succession that the order became meaningless. Every star, the comforting lights that had guided and guarded all living creatures since time immemorial, died violent and painful deaths. Their sacrifice made to raze those who had harbored Twilight Sparkle’s murderer, decided upon by a Princess driven mad by grief and rage.
The destruction the stars left was absolute. Weeks of cannonfire had reduced structures to rubble, but the overlapping craters of charred rock left nothing to testify that there had ever been anything but a field of burning glass. The ponies in the trenches around the city huddled in their burrows, the scythe passing a hair’s breadth from their muzzles not daring to reach out for more.
Eventually the parade of annihilation slowed and stopped. As seemingly endless as they appeared, the stars were abundant, but finite. The time did finally come when the sky had no more beacons left to give, no more missiles to quench Luna’s bloodlust. It was no matter: her will had been done.
All that remained of the once-great metropolis, a center for trade and wonder at its height, was ashes. Soot and crackling glass would be the city’s tombstone, the abandoned rings of fortification its pallbearers. The calamity would be spoken of in hushed whispers, told over firelight as a parable to the coming generation as they sat under a night sky of endless darkness.
The Underlord would live to see none of these things. Little life remained in his body. His heart worked feverishly to pump what traces of blood remained, but its successes only served to push him closer to the end.
The death of his city, and his father, was the Underlord’s final sight before he was claimed by the endless darkness of the void.
It had taken a great effort for Celestia to leave her chambers. Since she had seen Twilight’s body, she had been inconsolable. She hadn’t stopped crying for days, and her room was littered with empty tissue boxes. When she wasn’t sobbing, falling to exhaustion, or simply huddling on her bed clutching the many friendship reports Twilight had sent her, she did her best to comfort Spike. Usually, such comfort amounted to little more than allowing him to weep with her.
But eventually, news had reached her that her kingdom was preparing for war. The news had been startling enough that she had mustered the strength to go in search of her sister.
With the help of the castle staff, it hadn’t taken long. She found Luna standing by the enormous window in the castle Observatory, the same room that had once housed Twilight before her move to Ponyville.
“Luna?” she asked, her voice hoarse from underuse and dehydration. When Luna hadn’t responded, she had pressed further. “Luna? What is happening? Why did Captain Ardent inform me you have ordered mobilization?”
Luna remained with her back to Celestia, but she did respond.
“Because I have.”
Confused, Celestia asked, “Why?”
Luna half turned her head back to glance at her sister.
“Because I aim to avenge Twilight.”
Celestia was taken aback; though upon reflection, she shouldn’t have been surprised. It was a testament to her scrambled faculties.
“Luna, Twilight is dead. Further bloodshed—"
“TWILIGHT WAS MURDERED, SISTER! AND I SHALL MAKE TALOS HER FUNERAL PYRE!”
Fear, deep, instinctual fear rushed through Celestia. It was the same feeling she had felt a thousand years before. Luna, for a fraction of a second, had changed. Her coat had darkened, her eyes had flashed teal, and her pupils had turned to slits. Fangs had thrashed against her as Luna made her proclamation.
Faced with Celestia’s silence, Luna turned her back once again. After collecting her thoughts, Celestia spoke again.
“You’ve gone mad.”
It wasn’t an accusation, rather a sad realization. Luna stilled, then gave a shallow nod.
“It would seem so.”
Eventually Celestia decided to stand beside her sister. The view out of the Observatory window was wonderful. The waterfall that dropped from the mountainside was in full view, and the countryside surrounding the Canterhorn seemed to stretch on endlessly. As close to amicable silence as was possible under the circumstances reigned. It was Luna who overcame it first.
“I saw her first.” At Celestia’s puzzled expression, she continued. “When I was freed, I mean. When the Elements peeled away the Nightmare, Twilight’s face was the first sight to greet me. I thought she was an angel from the old stories, come to save me.” Luna laughed mirthlessly.
“And the stars shall aid in her escape,” Celestia recited the old prophecy, this time with an eye towards the streets lined with black banners emblazoned with Twilight’s starburst Cutie Mark.
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*see's new TwiLuna fic*
*gets excited*
*see's no Romance genre tag*
*gets confused*
Eh. I'll read it anyways.
A random use of the capital R is present within the word: Rule. Also the use of 'Had would render this statement a question, if you may, please change it to a comma, remove 'had' entirely.
Now if this is internal thought, then perhaps the use of speech marks of quote marks would be preferable, because the use of a comma in that exact location is grammatically incorrect. The orange is where I have made my own personal corrections.
Bit of a strange one, I know. But the use of the word 'was' is actually incorrect, a use of the word 'were' is required in it's place I'm sorry to say. It is a common mistake, even among skilled authors such as yourself.
Small spelling error here. As you can see it makes no sense to remain as 'think' considering what it's meant to be used as. I recommend changing it to 'thinks'
Now this is a very frequent and common mistake, so no need to feel ashamed.When using 'which' (Depending on the context or usage.) you either place a comma just before it or replace it with a 'that' Personally I recommend the comma.
Hind legs is too separate words.
As is cannon fire.
Hoof prints is too separate words.
Edit: Sorry, accidentally sent it off before I actually wanted it. (The fiction is still very good by the way) All these mistakes (To be entirely honest.) very small and most would skip over them without a second glance. Well, I'll be on my way. Your fiction was a pleasant read. A moderate 8/10 from yours truly.
Good day.
4407734 Your name is entirely accurate, thank you for pointing those out
Bit dark but a good read, certainly the wrath of a goddess is one to be feared.
... Wow.
I was not expecting this story to be so... Dark. Silly me, I saw the dark tag, and totally ignored it. Very well done. A fine sad tale to make me cry before I went to sleep tonight. Now to go read something happy...
God, that was...hard to read. Real hit in the feels. It's not the first time I've seen a fic like this but this is certainly one of the better executed ones. Excellent work.
Wow, now that was a fantastic story. Very well written, especially the characterization. Dark but in a very believable way.
The reveal of Twilight's fate was a punch to the gut. Luna's reaction was... easy to sympathise with, I think.
On a technical note, your writing style is very powerful and evocative. I like the world-building details you sprinkled throughout as well, especially the use of weather as a siege weapon.
this was beautiful fucken sad but beautiful
Not bad at all! Very powerful, if a little patchily written at times. Still, awesome story. Have a fave.
Gave me shivers and goosebumps. I loved it! The retribution was epic and poetic both, and that ending, wow.
Too much. I mean, the stars—really? Well, I won't downvote. But it was too much. I certainly can't upvote.
I don't know what it is about your style, but there is something in the way you write that simply oozes and emanates the baroque. You write dark beautifully, and I cannot wait to see how you write other genres. I loved this, and you, fine sir, have earned yourself yet another follower.
4407734
Actually, 'was' is correct here. The word 'that' in the second part of the sentence refers back to "Twilight was inexperienced." I can see why you might think it should be 'were', but "in Royal matters" is a prepositional phrase, and therefor cannot be a subject.
4415324 Oh. Well thank you for correcting me.
That was really great.
Yow.
Oh, I quite liked this story; all the right emotions were in there: anger, hope, disgust, and sorrow. I would recommend it to anyone, and I wouldn't want to ruin the experience with spoilers. Just read the story if you haven't!
Here by way of PP's blog post, and well...
The Luna bits and the pony warfare bits were suitably awesome, but once the backstory setup was fully revealed the story pretty much lost me. Maybe in a more medieval setting I could buy the gryphon Crown Prince doing what he did, but in the world as presented with Equestria as the clear military and magical superpower, all he was doing was begging for his country to be burnt down around him. Unless he and his entire kingdom were living under a rock he had to know they had a navy and air force that could freely sail and fly over and pound his city into rubble given sufficient motivation, and that doesn't even count what Celestia or Luna could apparently do. And in spite of all that, he just goes ahead and beats and rapes Equestria newest princess to death anyway? The international politics don't make any sense, and it kind of ruined the story for me.
In complete fairness, the precise details of what happened to Twilight probably didn't help my enjoyment of the story given that she is far and away my favorite character in the show. I had a feeling something like that was coming given the description and PP's recommendation, so it may have made me come into the story more critical than I otherwise would have been. So, no downvote, but no upvote.
4585062 sorry you feel that way. I tried to portray the underworld less as a royal who would think through the consequences of his actions, and more of a spoiled princeling who can't see beyond "I want this so it should be mine." I also wanted his father to come across as opposed to his sons actions, but unable to completely stop him because he is the heir to the throne. By the time he stops him, it is too late.
As for Twilight, she is my favorite character too, and what happened to her was every bit as painful for me as it was for you.
Also here via PP. Wow. This is pony revenge porn turned up to 11. I'm not trying to say that dismissively; this is impressive in its intensity.
This story feels kinda incomplete. It's a story of loss and the consequence of it, right? What we see is Luna taking her revenge, but that's such a short snapshot of her that we really can extrapolate what will happen to her after some time has passed. How has she changed? Will she continue to become the primary figure head of Equestria? Will she be feared? Losing everything that she's worked up to that point? Right now it just reads like a revenge piece. I mean, this isn't a story about the death of Twilight, at least that's how I understand it. It's the 'destruction' of Luna.
Anyway, it's well written, good atmosphere. Good read.
4609790
Kind of.
Alas, revenge does nothing good for anyone.
Luna blames the griffin, probably rightly, for the death of Twilight, but then dooms thousands (maybe I exaggerate) for refusing to turn over one of their own (prince?). Sure, he did it, but the fact is that if Twilight had done something horrible Luna would not have turned her over to almost certain execution. She is perpetuating injustice because of an injustice.
Also, making the messengers suffer and locking them up is hardly fair or reasonable behavior. Probably they were compelled to do it because no one else would. So is murdering those only doing their duty (i.e. the griffons who would keep her from murdering the underlord) and her treatment of the overlord is unnecessarily cruel and, at some level, very unjust.
4986838
Well, right, hence the revenge "porn". Its appeal is in savoring vengeance while overlooking the things that are problematic about it, just like porn's appeal is in idealized fantasy sex.
WOW.
Interesting story...and the Griffin Prince SOOOO DESERVED THAT!!!!!!!
He raped Princess Twilight Sparkle.....I would of done a lot worse and prolonged his sufferings.
But destroying and entire Griffin City....not so much.
But if that happened it's safe to say NO ONE would ever mess with equestria again for centuries.
I just wish some of Twilight's friends where there....or at least their reactions be known.
I know at least Rainbow Dash would demand to be part of the siege along with Apple Jack.
Very potent story, not the kind of ending I prefer but in this instance, it was very satisfying.
4986838
Yeah, but I don't believe Twilight would have done something that evil. If it came to it and a similar demand was made of her, it seems more likely to me that she would turn herself over instead. She'd protect her citizens, not let them be sacrificed for her.
4585062 There is a great difference between knowing that a world power has unimaginable military might and the belief that they would use it against a fool no matter how vile the fool acts. How appropriate that this comment is made on 9/11. I shall leave it at that.
4989106 Hey, like I said I didn't downvote, I am entirely willing to believe that my opinion is off target. No need to scold me for it like that.
4989185 Hey, it's not a scold. It's faint praise, if nothing else. You will never go broke underestimating the stupidity of most of mankind, particularly the ones who get a little power and think they're king of the pond. I would imagine griffons are similar.
4989328 Come on, Georg. Do we really need to get into an in-depth analysis of the differences between the gryphon nation as presented in this story and the terrorists that perpetrated 9/11? A more apt comparison would be one of the English royal family princes kidnapping and murdering the president's wife or something along those lines. An actual head of state (or representative thereof) committing the crime using the military resources of his country to facilitate the kidnapping, as opposed to a bunch of terrorists living in caves in Afghanistan.
And to address the larger issue, once one or more superpowers were established on the international stage, nobody who is an actual representative of a country has laid a metaphorical finger directly on them. Side fights, proxy wars, even the occasional terrorist attack, sure, but surely everyone has noticed that the US has not had WW3 with Russia or China, and North Korea, crazy crazy North Korea has done nothing but rattle their sabers for 50+ years.
(Of course, since I wrote this comment immediately before falling asleep and then edited and published it at 4 am, there's probably some obvious, glaring examples that're going to make me look like a big giant idiot. But, eh.)
And everyone died ever after.
The end.
So why didn't Twilight teleport away from the city? In lot of fics, Twilight is laways killed by things that shouldn't even be able to scratch her. She is an alicorn and great magic user. It would be peace of cake to get herself away. There is teleportation, illusion spells, want it need it spell :), and lots and lots of other spells. She could teleport herself and her guard away and mask themself as griffons or she could change attacking griffons to oranges. :D. I don't like fics that make Twilight totaly incapable of defending herself because it's needed for the story.
And i forgot about Discord. He wouldn't let Twilight die.
Killing Twilight Sparkle seems to be the way to piss of Equestria in these story's when it should be one of the harder things to do. She could teleport or even fly away if things got tough unless the Griffon Palace was proofed against magic which would bring her and her guards down to manageable levels. And she isn't a warrior so without magic she is a easy target. And with Equestria being a peaceful kingdom for so long I could see the Griffons attempting to throw there weight around and even hoping to get away with killing her with a token attempt at compensation for her death. And I honestly think that most likely things got out of hand before Twilight was killed. A good bet bloodlust took over after Twilights guards fought back effectively and the guards were killed and the Griffons took revenge for there losses on Twilight. They probably meant to capture her at first, but when emotion took over things went downhill and before they knew it she was dead. They probably hoped compensation would be paid and it would be swept under the rug. Things like this may have happened before and possibly Celestia wanting peace would roll over for a token compensation. But this time Equestria didn't roll over. This time they made someone pay. I have a feeling the other nations will fear Luna more than they ever did Celestia.
Someone noted that ambassadors or even nobles are rarely harmed in medieval cultures (and yes, Equestria is essentially a medieval culture, or at best a renaissance era culture). Not true, look to Vlad the Impaler for one. Nailed an Ambassodors hat to his head when he refused to remove his hat. Richard the Lionhearted was seized and held against his will until a ransom was paid on his way home from the crusades. Romans were big on harming ambassadors and in Japan Ambassadors were killed pretty regularly when those who sent them made the host angry. It happens but rarely does anyone fight back because they believe negotiations or just paying the ransom will work.
Very sad story but well written and I for one felt no pity on the Griffons. They committed a crime, attempted to cover it up and get away with pretty pathetic compensation and hoped Celestia would understand or at least forgive. Sadly Celestia wasn't the one who they needed to mollify this time.
Question. Where did the picture come from?
5039132 I googled 'city on fire,' but the picture is a painting of the Great Fire of London in 1666
Personally, I am having a hard time feeling sympathy for Luna (and am feeling it more for the griffins). Personally, I've always a follower of the Taoism of Peter Parker: with power comes responsibility. Murdering thousands, even millions, for the sake of one isn't a responsible use of power. I agree that the responsible parties should've been punished, but a massacre isn't the way to do it. One city isn't the worth the life of one individual (even, and I fully expect to be on the receiving end of tons of hate for this, Twilight Sparkle).
There is hardly a force in nature more frightening - and more capable of utter destruction - than a lover wronged. When that lover has nothing left to live for, they also have nothing left to lose, thus making their rage all the more justifiable, at least to their own mind.
^^This and more was so perfectly captured in this story. Very well written, both technically and stylistically. This one left my jaw on the floor.
Bravo!
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I don't think the point was to feel Luna was justified. It seemed to be that we were to pity Luna's loss, while remaining horrified at the depths of insanity and madness she was driven to. Celestia seems to realize this, and acquiesces because in her destroyed state, she both does not have the will to stand up to Luna's violent frenzy, or the physical capability to stop her should it come to that. In Celestia's mind, if she was to fight her, then it would create another schism and fuel a full Nightmare Moon transformation, pitting Luna not only against Talos but against the majority of Equestria as well. In this situation, Celestia made the only call she felt she could, and let her sister take out her rage on Talos, and after Talos was gone, Luna would have nothing left to destroy and no reason left to do further damage.
The three major points to this entire story, to me, were the emphasis on Luna's utter insanity, Celestia's crippling depression, and the cowardice and ignorance of Talos' leadership. Each was absolute, and once the events started in motion, there was no stopping that train by anyone.
5120620 Interesting point. I don't necessarily agree that it couldn't have been stopped by anyone, but an interesting point nonetheless.
5120620
While I'm not going to say that anybody's opinions about this story are wrong, that being the great thing about reading in that everyone can take something different away from it and it be valid for them, this is spot on to my thoughts as I was writing it.
Again, spot on, with one very minor point about Talos' leadership: for me, it was really about the Underlord's cowardice and cruelty. I tried to convey without outright stating it(which I may have buried too deep, which is why I mention it) is that in Talos, the Underlord has just as much, if nor more power than the Winglord because of his age. Every order from the Winglord has to be carried out with the knowledge that eventually, the Underlord will be Winglord and have absolute power in the kingdom, and anything anygriff did under his father that he didn't like could be punished, especially considering how cruel and petty he is. That is what allows the Underlord to have the time to do what he does to Twilight(in my mind, ever the course of a few days) before his father manages to put a stop to it, which turns out to be too late. In my mind, the Winglord was an honorable griffin who, while he knew his son could be cruel, had no idea how far he would go and assumed he was simply holding Twilight captive. When he discovers his error after Twilight's death, he does his best to honor her by cleaning up her body and sending it back to Equestria for burial(also serving as an attempt to prevent the war he knows would result if his son's crimes are discovered.) When the Equestrian fleet showed up and demanded the Underlord, he felt he couldn't hand him over, because despite what he did the Underlord is still his son and heir to the empire.
Those were my thoughts, at least, as again I'm not trying to correct anybody, just share the author's perspective.
5158981
Glad I got close to your original intent! I got where you were going with the cruelty of the underlord, but tbh I rolled most of Talos together when I broke the story down to it's base elements and factions. There are likely a number of reasons I did this without thinking that could be helpful to note in the future (not that they are problems, merely comments and observations)
Firstly, reader bias is easy to note. When you write fan fiction consisting of both main, canon characters and OC's, the reader is typically going to give more attention to the canon character, unless their perspective is forced. If you inverted this story, focusing on the characters through the eyes of the OC's instead of from the sisters camp, they would likely have all felt equally important because of that bias. People will read into the actions of characters they know more so than character they don't, allowing you to gloss over some of those points withy the expectation that the reader would read into it on their own. With character they are not previously invested in, you have to use a firmer hand to make their actions seem worthy of introspection, rather than simply an element leading to the "main" characters actions.
Secondly, the city of Talos was largely presented as a whole. It was rare that individuals within Talos were singled out, but rather their actions seemed more an extension of Talos as a singular unit. Sort of how saying "today US troops" or "the president has ordered US troops" gives the general impression the the US as a whole is doing something as opposed to directing attention to the actions of the president himself, or a specific unit of the us military. When individuals from Talos acted, it came across as more the arm or leg of the body moving, rather than an individual doing something of themselves.
Loved the story though, just some things you may want to consider when you have a similar intent in something you're writing later.
Edit: please forgive my phone typing. It burns...
The griffon prince got what he deserved. But Luna also killed thousands of innocents in the process. But are you telling me that he seriously raped and murdered a foreign diplomat/ruler? And not just any diplomat, a freaking Princess of Equestria? The land that controls the sun, the moon, and even changes the seasons? The place that beat the crap out of Discord, Tirek, Sombra, and Nightmare Moon? The place that made the Elements of Harmony and the Crystal heart! Whoever decided that was a good idea must've been really, really high, or maybe braindead. They freaking killed the worlds main defence against evil! Twilight was the one who beat all those villains! And next time one of them shows up, there won't be anybody to stop them doing whatever the heck they want. The griffons have doomed the world.
5063688 Luna knows, and she doesn't care. Twilight was the world to her, and she has nothing left to live for.
5071531
And when the lover wronged is a force of nature then there are issues.
5158981
Just to give you a perspective as a reader. I got the distinct impression that the Winglord didn't condone his son's actions, but there wasn't any indication as to why it was allowed to happen.
That, however, didn't detract from the story. I quite liked how it alternated between the present and the past. At the end of it, I'm left to wonder what will Luna do now.
Yes. I finally got around to reading this, and boy, did I enjoy it. Definitely worthy of the contest win.
Simply amazing. Well worth the win, so congratz on that.
I really admire the way you built this, jumping from one to the other. It was really evocative, and drew the reader in further and further as we find out what drove Luna to such madness.
I really sympathize with Luna though. I mean, it must be hard for an immortal alicorn to find love, especially with the whole "immortal living-forever" thing. And then she meets Twilight, and she falls in love with her, she dares hope that maybe, just maybe Twilight likes her back. I imagine she thought she had all the time in the world to tell her, to be with her, and then bam! Dead Twilight. All of those hopes and dreams and unfulfilled fantasies, crushed in a heartbeat. Luna's salvation, her call back from madness, gone.
And all that is left, is the Nightmare.
While it's certainly a pity that Twilight missed out on the action, I love a good, hard, lengthy siege. Always sends shivers down my spine.
Every time I come across this one-shot I always, without fault, read it. I love it that much
Finally got to reading this and I think it's an excellent story. Though I'd love to see a follow up of what happens to Luna, Celestia, and Twilight's friends, as well as Cadence's view to what happened.