Rise
Dear Diary,
Well, today’s the day. The girls and I are going to the Mansion to honor grandmother. I can’t believe it’s been fifty years since she left. It’s still difficult looking back on everything that happened. I wonder if she misses us?
Oh, who am I kidding? Of course she does! She wouldn’t be her if she didn’t.
I know I miss her. I miss her very much.
Even though it’s pretty childish, I still have my Kitty doll. It looks almost like her, if she was about the size of a stuffed animal anyway. It’s one of the very first ones that Princess Celestia put into production. When I heard about them, I just knew I needed to get one. I think it had the intended effect. I mean, who could be scared of such a plushy little toy?
Rainbow Dash is still doing fine. She’s slowing down in her old age, but I think she’s still got some odd years left in the Wonderbolts before retiring for good. She’s only seventy after all, still plenty of good years left. I spoke with Applejack yesterday, too. She said Big Macintosh ended up breaking his hip in the field; the poor dear. He’s getting up there in age, but AJ says he’s not gonna give in to death so easily.
“If Granny Smith was able to make it two hundred, then Big Mac’s gonna be just fine.”
That’s what she told me anyway. It still amazes me how much things have changed over the years. Even Pinkie’s not as energetic as she used to be. But yet, I still feel the same. It took me a long time to find out what being given Dusty’s life meant. You remember that day, right? I was so frantic about the possibility of immortality I almost wore a hole through your pages.
I’m sorry about that, by the way.
Thankfully, Twilight was able to calm me down. She’s been a good friend over the years, especially after we made up from the Year of the Shifters. We’ve been close ever since and even closer due to her own immortality. Of course, we don’t get to see her all that often anymore, being abroad and spreading the magic of friendship as her princess duties require. I still make sure to visit the castle whenever she’s back in town. Rarity and Spike always make sure that place is spotless.
“Hey Fluttershy!”
“Yipe!” the butter-yellow mare shrieked from the surprising voice. Looking up from her diary, she saw the form of a tall, slender, purple dragon standing at her window. “Oh, Spike. You scared me.”
“Sorry about that,” he apologized while rubbing his neck, embarrassed. “I just came by to tell you that we’re heading off for the Mansion in a few minutes. You still coming?”
“Oh yes!” Fluttershy nodded with a smile. “Just let me finish with this and I’ll be right there. I wouldn’t miss it for the world!”
“Great! I’ll go tell Twilight and the others!” the teenage dragon took off running, leaving her property in several large bounds.
Fluttershy smiled as she watched her friend go. She turned back to her diary and continued.
Spike looks so different from how he used to be. He went from that chubby, little dragon to the tall, sleek dragon we know now. Pacolytese (I still call him ‘Paco’. He hates it, but it’s just so much fun to see him so flustered. Does that make me a bad pony?) did wonders for our little dragon over the years. Celestia even assigned him as an ambassador between dragon and pony-kind. Though things didn’t work out with Rarity like he had hoped, they’ve stayed good friends. I’ve even heard through a certain princess that he has his eyes on a lovely dragoness back in the Dragon Lands. Teehee, he gets so flustered talking about her.
Oh and Rarity just hit big… again. Her designs are now even spreading out to Zebraica. Ever since the tribes united thirty years ago, the nation has been booming. Equestria and the Crystal Empire have been big supporters of the growing nation and more and more Zebras can be found in around the country. Remember my visit there? Rarity and I had so much fun. Zecora took us to her old tribe and we got to meet her family. They were lovely. But I’m straying again. Rarity’s fortune has really expanded because her new contracts. If it wasn’t for her assitant, Coco, managing most of her company, I don’t think she’d be able to put up with all the work.
I need to go. My friends are probably waiting on me.
With love,
Fluttershy
Fluttershy closed her diary and replaced it in the night table by her bed. As she headed down the stairs, she stopped to give her pet bunny, Angel V, a loving nuzzle. “Momma’s going out for a while. You’ll watch the other animals for me, won’t you?” Angel gave her a military-style salute, even putting on his ancestor’s old play helmet. Fluttershy couldn’t help but giggle at his actions.
Before heading to the door, she reached out to the bookshelf nearby and grabbed a peculiar looking doll. It was relatively small and plush, having blonde fabric hair, and wearing a one piece black and gold outfit. The doll had a one line of string for a smile and dark red beads for the two eyes. Fluttershy put her kitty doll in her saddle bag, smiling happily as if her grandmother were going with her.
She locked up and took flight, landing near her friends at the entrance to the Everfree forest. “Hi girls,” she said cheerily.
“Hey Fluttershy,” Twilight greeted with a smile. “Are you ready to go to the Mansion?”
Fluttershy nodded, pulling out her kitty. “Yep. Got my kitty, too.” Each of the ponies and an embarrassed Spike pulled out their own. “I knew I wouldn’t be the only one.” They all shared a laugh, putting away the dolls as they started their trek.
“I certainly hope there won’t be a long line today. It doesn’t matter how much this road has changed over the years, the Everfree Forest is still icky,” Rarity complained she trotted at her own pace.
“Little mud ain’t gonna hurt ya, sugarcube,” Applejack laughed heartily, almost going into a coughing fit.
“Are you okay, Applejack?”
“Ah’m alright, Shy,” the mare waved off. “Just the effects of age is all. Gotta watch mahself a little more.”
“You’re just becoming a slowpoke,” Rainbow snarked as she hovered above them.
“Care to repeat that?” Applejack glared dangerously at Rainbow.
“You’re. Slowing. Down,” Rainbow said, emphasizing each word.
“Why don’t y’all come down here and Ah’ll show you how ‘slow’ Ah’ve gotten, ya old bat!”
“Make me, old timer!”
The two glared at each other for a moment before snickering. The others all rolled their eyes, knowing those two would go at it soon enough. Pinkie giggled at the happiness.
“I like it that my friends haven’t changed over the years,” she said happily. “We’re BFF Double A’s!” They all looked at her and Pinkie rolled her eyes. “‘Best Friends Forever and Always’, duh!” She giggled. “You all should know that by now.”
“That we should, darling, but it’s always nice to remember the way things used to be.”
“You know, save for the few bad parts,” Dash ‘tactfully’ added.
Twilight hung her head. “Those days still haunt me sometimes, but I do hope Kat has forgiven me.” She looked up into the endless sky. “Because I know I’ve forgiven her.”
Fluttershy put a hoof on her friend’s shoulder and smiled at her. “Somehow, I know she has. Grandmother maybe have some anger problems, but I know she would never be angry at a friend forever.”
“Thanks, Fluttershy,” Twilight sighed.
“Come on!” Spike shouted, having walked ahead sometime back. “If we don’t hurry, we’re going to miss the event!”
The ponies hurried as fast as they could, Twilight and Fluttershy pacing themselves with their old friends. After about another hour, they had made their way to their destination: Gravity Manor. Formerly known as the Castle of the Two Pony Sisters, it had undergone a major reconstruction since the time of the shifters. Kat had been able to restore the physical structure, but it was still required a lot of work.
Fluttershy still remembered the day Princess Celestia had enacted the project to restore her former castle as a tribute to the creature that had called it home forty years prior. It took five long years, but the castle had finally been refurbished. Over the several years after, the Manor slowly took form of a museum to teach the history of the gravity shifters to future generations. It painted neither Kat nor Raven in an awful light, but more as those that had gone through tragedy. Sure it was biased to an extent, but Fluttershy saw it more as trying to paint the true picture instead of one of hatred.
Of course, there was a lot of debate upon the museum’s creation, even an attempted bombing during its opening week. But over the months that followed, it quickly became a major tourist attraction. Ponies were awed by the true tale of Kat Shifter and Raven Masters and the experiences they went through. Fluttershy’s family as well as the princesses were all too happy to donate related artifacts to be displayed. Even Flitterbee’s journal was in the museum.
Fluttershy was still awed by the gleaming castle as she and her friends walked to the entrance. Though, she should have been watching where she was going, as she bumped into a pony. “Oof, oh I am so sorry.”
The pony picked itself off the ground, brushing off the dirt from it full body cloak. Even its head was covered. It regarded Fluttershy, though the pegasus couldn’t see the pony’s face. “It’s no trouble.” It looked up at the castle. “It is quite the sight to see.” It looked back at Fluttershy. “I hope you enjoy your day, miss.” It trotted off into the museum, leaving Fluttershy to wonder who that pony was.
She shrugged it off and joined her friends inside. They were many different sights to see within, even though they had seen it all before. It was their tradition to see the exhibits every ten years on the anniversary of Kat’s leaving, which was coincidentally exactly one year after she had returned, as a way of remembering their friend. One of the more popular ones was the only remaining piece of Kat’s shield, kept in a glass pedestal near the entrance. It was thought that Raven had sent off the shattered remains of the legendary shield to oblivion, but one piece had been found amongst the rubble of Canterlot Castle after the battle. Fluttershy stared at the piece in wonder, always remembering that shield on her grandmother’s back, always ready to defend anypony.
Looking around, a few of the girls were surprised to see a some griffins amongst the visitors. They had become a rare sight in Equestria after the war five years after the departure of the Gravity Queen. They thought that the recent defeat of the princesses meant it was their time. How wrong they were. Their armies were defeated within the year, but not without many casualties on both sides. Each of them remembered their time in the service during that war. Pinkie had been a cannonier, Twilight a strategist, Rarity was a member of the signal corps, Rainbow and Applejack were infantry soldiers (air and land respectively), and Fluttershy herself had been a battlefield medic.
Fluttershy and Rainbow were the only ones who stayed in the service of the Equestrian Military after the war, though Fluttershy signed up for the reserves while Rainbow was assigned to the Wonderbolts. To this day, they were military members, Fluttershy being an inactive reserve for the time being.
The girls split off to their own exhibits for a while, meeting up a few hours later for lunch. The museum offered a full buffet area from the original kitchens of the castle. “Anything new?” Fluttershy asked as she finished her lunch of a simple daisy sandwich and celery soup.
“Just a few more articles in Raven’s section,” Twilight said as she took a sip of her herbal tea. “More and more sightings in local papers are found every year about her. She did have free roam of the world for a thousand years.”
“Ooh! Ooh!” Pinkie said excitedly as she raised her hoof.
“Dear, you’re not a child anymore, you don’t have to raise your hoof as if you’re in elementary school.”
“But it’s fun!” That little refute made Rarity smile and roll her eyes. “Kat’s area has a new exhibit! A family tree! It shows Flitterbee and Fluttershy on it!”
Fluttershy blushed while the girls muttered excitedly. “We should go see it,” Applejack said. “Sounds like it would be interestin’ ta see Flutters’ whole family.”
“I think I’ll just go see the rare gems exhibit, if that’s alright,” Spike said as he munched on a ruby. “I’d like to see all the gems that the shifters created.”
“Alright, but don’t eat any of them. They’re historical treasures.”
“Yes ‘mom’,” Spike said with an eye roll to Twilight as he went off on his own.
The six mares made their way to the family tree exhibit Pinkie mentioned and we in awe at the thousand year legacy Kat had left behind.
“Oh wow, Fluttershy,” Rainbow said in awe as she spotted one of her relatives. “I didn’t know you were related to Captain Spitfire.”
Fluttershy nodded. “Oh yes, she’s one of my third cousins. We didn’t see each other all that often though. How is she doing nowadays?”
“Retired,” Rainbow shrugged. “Settled down in Cloudsdale about five years ago. Getting up in years and all. Still one of the fastest pegasi around.”
They mulled around the exhibit for a few more moments and then the very earth beneath them began to shake as ponies screamed from the main hall.
“What in tarnation?!”
“Sounds like trouble,” Twilight said.
“Then what are we standing around for?!” Rainbow huffed, activating her latent Harmony powers that they were all gifted with from the Tree of Harmony all those years ago. “Let’s go kick its ass!”
The girls followed the still reckless pegasus, activating their own transformations.
“I’m getting to old for this,” Rarity complained as she breathlessly followed.
“Gotta keep up them exercises of yers, Rares,” AJ snipped. Rarity hmmped at her, causing the farm mare to snicker.
As they entered the main hall, they were in awe at the sight of a massive minotaur slamming down a spiked club.
“What in Tartarus is that?!” Rarity shrieked unlady-like.
“Asterius,” a voice said from beside them. They all looked and saw Princess Celestia and Luna fly in from the skylight. “The original minotaur.”
“Nice to see y’all here, Tia and Lulu, but before we get to the reunion hugs, wus the deal wit’ the big bad bull?”
“Asterius is the ancestor to the minotaur race,” Luna explained. “He’s supposed to be locked in Tartarus serving a life-sentence for trampling several miles of Equestria’s fertile farmland. That and the destruction of several neighboring towns over a twelve hundred years ago.”
The monster minotaur let out a loud laugh. “So this is what has become of the Two Sisters’ Castle?! A simple collector’s hovel? This is pitiful, ponies!”
“Asetrius!” Celestia bellowed as she, her sister and the former bearers of the Elements of Harmony stood by her side. “You will return to Tartarus and continue your sentence or else!”
He laughed aloud again. “Return? To that torturous prison? I think not, Celestia! You have nothing to stop me!”
“Wrong!” Fluttershy shouted as she and her friends fired of a rainbow lazer.
Asterius shouted in pain as he took the blast, but all it did was scorch his chest. “Well now, that was some magic. But nothing to the mighty Asterius!” He slammed his club on several display cases, destroying them.
Twilight gasped in horror. “No! The history, gone forever!!” She growled dangerously at him. “No one gets away with destroying knowledge! Spike!!”
“Spike?” Asterius repeated just as a mighty dragon slammed into him from behind. “Gah!” he shouted as he went slamming into the far wall, where a lone pony was still looking over the exhibits.
Fluttershy gasped and took off flying as she shoved the equine out of the way. “You should get out of here,” she told the pony. “It’s not safe.” A scream went out as Asterius pulled himself out of the wall and was about to slam his club on a pony family. Fluttershy gasped again, but the cloaked pony took off running faster than she had seen anypony run before.
The pony stopped in front of the family just as the club came down.
Celestia gasped and growled. “You monster!”
Asterius let out an evil chuckle. “Now you’re catching… huh?” He looked down and saw through the dust that the cloaked pony was… holding his club?! “H-how can this be?! That shouldn’t be possible! No pony is stronger than me!”
“Au contraire, connard,” the pony spoke with a mare’s voice. “There was always one who bested you time and time again. One who you could never beat, no matter how hard you tried.”
“Blasphemy!” the minotaur shouted. “There is no such creature that could best me!”
“Please my little pony!” Celestia pleaded. “Get out of there!”
The mare laughed a little, turning to the cowering family behind her. “You four should get out of here. Things are going to get messy.” The father took the cue, ushering his wife and kids out of the museum with him. The pony turned back to Celestia. “I’m a little heartbroken, Tia.” Celestia’s eyes widened at such a informal use of her name by an ordinary pony. “I thought you would remember me. This is my house after all.”
Confusion was etched into the ponies’ faces, all except one whose eyes were wide with disbelief. “It can’t be…” Fluttershy stepped forward a little bit. “Is that you… grandmother?” The ponies’, and Spike’s, eyes widened and their jaws slacked.
The mare chuckled a little, grabbing the hem of her cloak. “As the old saying goes,” she ripped off the cloak, along with a green flash, revealing a tall, female human. Her blonde hair ran down just past her waist with a black head band. Her features were beautiful by human standards: her body was curvy in all the right places and bosom was perfectly well-endowed. She wore tight fitting black jeans that cut off above a few inches above her ankle, a simple pair of short, black with gold trim combat boots, a tight-fit white t-shirt that showed of a small bit of her midriff, and a short-cropped leather jacket with gold tinges here and there. Her fierce red eyes bore right through Asterius who backed up in fear. “I’m back, salopes!!”
The ponies stared in awe at Kat’s new appearance, but tears began to grow in their eyes at the sight. In the minotaur’s eyes, though, was only fear.
“No… no, no, NO!! You can’t be here!” he bellowed, beginning to shake. “You were banished! You were not supposed to return!!”
Kat smirked as she put her hands on her hips. “Oh please, Arty, as if I would ever leave this world completely unprotected. Of course I would return, duh.” She rolled her eyes as he began to fume. “Now, are you going to give up or am I going to have show you up, again.”
He roared at Kat and charged. “I will never be bested by you, Gravity Queen! DIE!!” He brought his club down on the human. She only smirked and put up a fist. The club impacted on her fist… and shattered into two pieces “WHAT?!” Arterius shouted in confusion. Kat didn’t answer, using her powers to grab the free piece of club and chuck it into the minotaur’s face. He gasped in pain as he went down on the floor.
“I thought you were stronger, Arty.” She tsked, walking over to the downed bull. “Pitiful.”
“Why you--”
He was interrupted as Kat struck the ground with her foot, blasting the monster into the air. She teleported above him and slapped him across the face with the back of her hand, sending him flying across the room. She warped again, slamming her two feet into his spine from behind. Again, Kat teleported in front of him and sent her left hook into his gut, making him bellow in pain. She cartwheeled up his front, grabbed his horns and slammed Arterius to the ground by throwing him over her shoulders.
Kat floated down in front of him, cold, blood red eyes present, and held out a hand in front of the monster. “Are you going to surrender Arterius or are you going to keep causing destruction.”
The monster groaned as he looked at Kat with a deadly expression. “I will destroy all who would oppose me,” he stated simply.
“So be it.” He hand lit and Arterius only had a quick moment to scream before he was Extinguished. His wisps flew into her palm and Kat looked through her new power. “Nothing much,” she muttered to herself. “Barely any improvement. He really was weak.”
“GRANDMOTHER!!” Kat only had a second before she was tackled by the over-excited pegasus known as Fluttershy. “Oh my gosh I missed you, I missed you, I missed you soooo much!!”
Kat chuckled happily as she wrapped Fluttershy in a hug. “I missed you too, my little Flutter.” She sighed upon hearing those words.
“Kat!” The human was tackled by even more mares, taking her to the ground.
She laughed heartily as she was hugged by all of her friends. “Okay! Okay! I get it, I was missed. Hahaha!! Just let me up, will ya? Ya crazy juments.”
Celestia slowly approached the human with happy tears in her eyes. “Kat…” she said simply staring down her.
Kat looked up and smiled. “Hey mom!” She smiled brightly as more tears escaped from the alicorn. “Where’s my hug?” Celestia launched herself at the girl, nuzzling her almost too much. Kat laughed happily as she hugged her adoptive mother. “I missed you too.”
“The years have been good to you it seems,” Luna said with a smile as she joined them all.
Kat laughed as she stood back up. “Well, for the most part yeah. A lot of things happened and I can’t wait to tell you all.” She looked around the castle, noting that there wasn’t too much destruction. “Seems like you made good use of my castle.”
“It’s been quite the attraction, darling,” Rarity said, just as posh as ever in Kat’s opinion.
“Although, we’ve left most of it untouched, such as the residential areas of the castle,” Celestia informed her. She smiled as she wiped away her tears. “Just in case you ever came home.”
Kat hugged Celestia’s head. “Of course I was going to come home. I said I would and you know I never go back on my word.” The solar princess didn’t say anything, just nuzzled Kat even more. “Now, how about some lunch and I tell you all about my journey, eh?”
The ponies all nodded, Fluttershy still clinging to her. “As long as you stay,” she whispered. She looked up at her grandmother. “You are staying, aren’t you?”
Kat smiled as she ran her fingers through her granddaughter’s mane. “Yes, I’m staying. This is my home after all.” Fluttershy squeed and hugged even more. Though, she noticed something glinting on Kat’s finger.
“Grandmother, why is there a ring on your finger?”
Kat blushed a little. “How about I just tell you all everything before I go into that, eh?” Fluttershy relented and fluttered alongside Kat as they walked further into the castle.
Kat looked around at all her friends and family, smiling brighter than she had in a long time. After many years of heartache and fighting and who knows what else, Kat Shifter, Gravity herself, had come home.
Over a thousand years ago, I, like many others, was taken to a land of magic and second chances. I did what I could with the gifts I was given to defend the new friends I had made, but even then my past came back to haunt me. I was sealed away and forgotten, or so I thought. When I returned a thousand years later, I was introduced to a family that hadn’t forgotten me, one that had been descended from one of those I had helped. They helped me try to fix my mistakes, but still I took revenge.
But that wasn’t the route I should have taken. My revenge caused more pain and suffering. My world collapsed around me, and if not for my friends and fellows, I would never have overcome them. I paid for my mistakes and took it upon myself to help others from making the same ones I did.
I traveled to worlds like mine, with similar inhabitants, and familiar faces, but always different. I made friends, fell in love, and reclaimed my past, because I wasn’t alone. We are never alone when our loved ones stay in our heart.
So that is the message I send to any other of those known as The Displaced who come upon my story. You are not alone and there are others who will help you. I urge you not to make the same mistakes I did, because it will not end how you would hope. It will only cause more pain. So please, stick to the right path and let the magic of friendship into your heart.
I am Kat Shifter, the incarnation of Gravity, and this was my story of pain, heartache, and redemption. And remember, we’re all stories in the end; it’s up to you to make it a good one. Because… there’s always more to tell.
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Please post the sequel, I must know how this story goes!
This epilouge..........
Perfect Just Perfect
Can't wait for the sequel
She wouldn't be her if she didn't.
Angel gave her military-style salute, even putting on his ancestor’s old play helmet.
Angel gave her a military-style salute, even putting on his ancestor’s old play helmet.
Btw., Angel V best Angel! Better than Angel I in every case...
Kat Shifter turned into a pony, we know that... OH MY GOD, IT'S BLASPHEMY!
5722158 Don't worry, the last chapter had the author note, and it said: KAT WILL RETURN THIS SPRING!
So we are going to see how much suffering Kat can take before returning home
Very fantastic story!!!
-Equinox_
5722173
A perfect end, to a perfect story.
-Equinox_
It's up to you to make it a good one
Other than the slight grammar errors, Great Ending.
5722195
5722308
Fixed!
Obligatory musical reference GO!
French in insults ? YEAH ! Super boulot mon gars, tu m'a bien fait rire
Ring?.
I must know who the lucky guy, girl, pony and or other.
This chapter made me so happy especially while reading it!!!
But this little tidbit bothered me somewhat. So...the minotaur species progenitor was imprisoned in Tartarus for 1200 years just for trampling some farmland a group of Earth Ponies could fix and smashing a few towns buildings that some Unicorns could repair? And then he is ordered to return by the Princesses and then Exstinguished by Kat despite him being obviously below notice of that skill in particular...so does this mean that the Princesses haven't learned of parole with magic restrictions being applied or Kat learning threat level assessment and prioritization?
5722383 Towns destroyed = ponies killed. Kat knows a threat that will keep coming so she did away with it instead of just waiting for it to happen again.
I was going to give up on Nick and Time Ticks on, but this has reinvigorated me to try once more!
Thank you, DJSkywalker, for giving me the will to go on.
Golden Script.
Beautiful epilogue, my friend. I look forward to the next installment with great interest and a bit more than mild curiosity.
5722386 Ahhh...ok, because the way you worded it made it sound as if he only caused mass property damage and panic among the pony populace without killing. Injuring yes but not killing. Thanks for clearing up that bit of confusion. Also did Fluttershy get extended youth so while she ages, she stays fit and healthy for longer due to increased magical vitality?
5722523 Basically, she's like the princesses now. It's that kind of immortality.
5722279 Indeed
5722493
5722596
Okay, here's what I want to know: what were you expecting to happen?! For Kat to just go: "Oh you took all my powers and killed my granddaughter? I'm gonna brood like batman because I'm a badass general, motherfucker." Seriously, where are you getting your information? Personalities can change at a snap of the fingers if something amazingly traumatic and saddening happens. It's a sign than the mind is currently unstable and experienceing different emotions at the same time.
Have you ever talked to a pregnant woman? Same situation. (Not being hateful, it's just an example).
And how does Kat have deus ex powers? She's only got four of her powers left, so she's using the one that's useful to get stronger. Kinda smart on her part. And if you actually paid attention in the last chapter, it foreshadowed Auric at the end.
And as for the Pinkie doing this...., Rarity doing this..., or Twilight doing this..., let me ask you this: what do you do when trained soldiers that you are accustomed to defending you suddenly attack you without provocation? Your brain shuts down for a quick second and that's all they need.
Honestly, it seems like you're just nitpicking.
5722738 That's. Not. How. It. Works.
5722672
I'm getting my information from personal experience.
A pregnant women is not in the same situation. While chemicals may be going crazy and causing all kinds of problems, it's not the same.
I've been without sun for days and felt the depression. I've been without all human contact for multiple days as well. And I've been through life threatening situations. So I can tell when somone's reactions to those situations aren't realistic, especially for someone who'se supposedly been through them before, and any of the thousand year olds in the story were probably eventually unfortunate enough to go through them.
Yes, a quick second, but they were taking longer than that. Twilight was actively fighting off the guards.
Maybe if it was just one or two of these things, I could be thought of as nitpicking. But in this story, it was scene after scene of bad decisions that led to the terrible outcome. It was like they were being forced into their situation rather than naturally falling into it.
And I'm not saying this because the fic went dark. I've read much darker and crueler fics before, and I think I even favorited a few. The difference between those fics and this one was that the tragedy could have easily been avoided. So instead of feeling sorry that everyone had to go through what they did, I feel annoyed that they couldn't avoid hurting everyone.
5722739
If there's not a specific definition somewhere in your story that states that, then there's no reason that loophole wouldn't exist. You can't reference the game either, because then the story doesn't stand on its own.
Edit: if there is a definition, then sorry, but I might have skimmed over some of the story.
5722672
Also, the deus ex still feels like a deus ex. I don't know what else to say. I don't remember any foreshadowing.
Edit: Keep in mind, I spend several hours reading through this even though I didn't like it, and I even missed a club meeting, all because I felt like I should give you constructive criticism instead of just leaving. Hopefully you could make one of your next works better.
I like this, it is a nice wrapped up package of a story. I'm kind of lukewarm about continuing the story though, as all too often, stories just go on and on and eventually die off. As much as I liked Thadious0's Auric Trilogy (Headless, Golden, and Alchemist), I felt that the continuations felt superfluous and detracted from the story. Similar feelings here, you mentioned continuing further just made me feel like the story would perpetually continue without reason or have a satisfying ending. If you do end up continuing Kat's story, I will probably not read much of it, as I feel this is a perfect, heartfelt, ending. What you have written is everything I could hope for in something I would take time out of my life just to sit down and enjoy, and you have all my thanks as a dedicated reader. So remember:
Keep writing, have fun, and remember to smile smile smile.
5722978 That's why I created this epilogue. This is the official end of the story as I will not be writing anything after this point. The two sequels will focus on what happened during those fifty years in between.
SEQUEL
please
maybe after the rest of ur stories though. I will be waiting.
...The Goddesses Dues and Ex Machina are yelling at you. They think you should have done a better job with their name sake. The cornier, the better, they say.
The moment she appeared I was like, "GOTTA FIND MUSIC FOR THIS!"
What's a with the Italiano, eh?
Wait a sec, a ring? Who? A Displaced? Money on Displaced!
sequel with kat story time? :D
5723230
Read this story, as it already gives a fairly clear idea of what will happen.
you had me a sequel.
5723984
Huh. Interesting. I'd read this story a while back but never got into it because of it's long windedness and rambling and nothing happening. Guess I'll read the most recent chapters then.
A nice way to wrap this up. I'm already looking forward to writing my own epilogue for Gilgamesh, but that won't be for a long time.
In the meantime, I actually looking forwards to more Ten Against One than the next Gravity entry, but that's just me.
In the end, I'm glad I could play a small part in this. Thank you for tha chance.
Is the ring because of that homestuck crossover?
I got a very "My name is Optimous Prime, and I send this message to those of you among the stars." sort of feel on that ending paragraph there.
Man... This really makes me want to rethink my displaced story... I'm still going to continue the one I have... but I really want to make a new one with a solo hero
You know, when I saw the Tragedy tag, months ago, my first thought was "Oh crap, another Puppet to her Fame," but this story ended on quite a high note. It was well written, well thought out, and thoroughly enjoyable. Well done, my friend, well done.
5749503 I'm not sure about half of what you wrote but I agree with you.
is there an actual crossover with a Doctor hoofs story because I can't find it anywhere or at least yet
5774694
It will be released in May.
5774698 holy Jebus you scared the snot out of me that's probably the fastest response I ever gotit also made you best pony
Well there goes another Story.
Was great to read. took me some time to read but i got it ^^.
And it was worth every second of it.
Why is it that I feel so happy and sad the same time when i finish the final Chapter of a great story?
5782336
Sequel will be up sometime in May if it helps.
5783345
that are some good news ^^
I thought it was an actual crossover, you know using the character Kat... but you took that away from me when you mentioned a convention. *sighs*
5817787 How about nope?
Loved the story and I can't wait for more!
After the Doctor Hooves stuff, do we get to hear about her attempts at saving the Changeling in other worlds or is that part of the Doctor Hooves stuff?
5860724
The changeling world saving happens after the Doctor Whooves story.