• Published 7th May 2014
  • 835 Views, 92 Comments

WTF! - NeonShadow



Some random stuff happens like Twilight deflates and a chicken tap dances.

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What did I read?

Spike was cleaning the library when he suddenly he grew 10 feet and got muscular. His head burst through the roof sending splinters of wood everywhere.

"Awesome!" Cheered Spike.

He then started to crawl out of the library trying not to cause further damage, but failed. When he got outside he spit fire everywhere, completely scorching the ground and nearby houses. One house that had caught fire grew arms and grabbed a fire hose out of it's bathroom. It then started spraying itself and other houses.Whenever the water hit the ground, trees and grass started to shoot up from the ground. After spike flew away, a rubber chicken started to tap dance in the middle of everything. Though.. no one could see him cause of all the trees. The chicken got so mad he floated up through the trees and started tap dancing while floating in mid air. Then he turned into a brick and couldn't stop floating upwards. He flew up to the sun and crushed the sun. Nopony could see anything, so they all started to dig holes in the ground and hid. Celestia died cause the sun died and she is the sun in a weird sort of way but not really. Luna and Pinkie were teleported pack to ponyville. Luna rose the moon so ponies could see again. They arrived at Sweet Apple Acres and Pinkie instantly rocketed into the sky and then blew up like a firework.Back at the farm Applejack was playing pin the tail on the old wrinkly sack of prunes.(AKA Granny Smith)

"Get back here Granny" Chuckled Applejack.

They ran through the kitchen, then they ran outside and Applejack chased Granny for days. Granny eventually died and everypony threw a party. Pinkie kept on blowing herself up like fireworks while everypony else partied.


Oh, and Big Mac married Smarty Pants.

The End!

Comments ( 82 )

This is funny and random

Comment posted by Regidar deleted May 7th, 2014

4353930
Thanks! I thought everybody was gonna hate it.

4354003 Okay, dude... really? Did you NOT read the description? And in her story she asked for CONSTRUCTIVE critism... you don't pay attention much, do you? She said it was not going to make any sense. I found it funny, as did others, so seriously... back off, you're not needed here.

What-- I-- ahh--
(please stand by)
Bueno, eso fue tan desordenado que me borró todo lo que sé del inglés.

4354003
I honestly don't care if you like it or not. I'm not gonna let other people bring me down just cause they hate what I write.

4354050 Good for you! I liked this chapter, but I noticed that it needs to be edited......

4354059
Thanks! I think I might add more chapters if my mind thinks of some more random stuff.:derpyderp2::derpytongue2::derpyderp1:

4354070 Was there a lot of grammatical error?

4354090 In the first no, in the second, yeah

4354066
No, en serio. No tengo idea de lo que me dices. Esta historia me dejĂł fuera de onda.
Este...
No, really. I no have got idea from what you say me. This story let me out of wave.

4354107 I'll look through it again.

This is the most random thing I have ever read.........:rainbowhuh: I love it!:heart::raritystarry:

4354200 Thanks! I thought everybody was gonna hate this.

Looks like this fun story is doing ok. Cool! :pinkiehappy:

4354294 Yeah! Thanks for proofreading!:twilightsmile:

4354059

I'm kinda guilty. I proofread it while doing something else. It was a single run look over. I'm just glad most viewers realize this is a surreal slapstick comedy anyway.

:pinkiehappy:

4354349

You're welcome. :pinkiehappy:

no comment other than if your goal was too make readers go "WTF!?" you succeeded with me.

4354608 That was my goal.

4354036 aw, boo hoo
go white knight somewhere else, you enbalist


4354050 I don't hate what you write, I hate this story for being dreck and taking down people who write GOOD comedy and use the random tag resposibly

4355630
Like I said, I don't care what you think and I'm not looking for an argument. If you don't like this story, dislike it and leave.

4355630
And watch what you say. Silver Melodies is my older brother and he's just trying to help me.

4355797 wow I'm so fucking scared
this is the internet
what is he gonna do, fly all the way out to where I live and beat me up?


4355788 I'm not trying to argue
I left an opinion, which you deleted (bad choice), and you were unable to deal with the fact that some people might find stories like this to be dull and uninspired

4355630 You wanna troll wherever you want? I'll 'white knight' wherever I want, okay? And my god man... you just don't make sense! She used the random tag how it's supposed to be used. The story is random, random as fuck! You left no opinion, you degraded the story. You left a derogatory comment, which you like to call an opinion... oh yeah, all trolls think like that. I almost forgot.

And damn man, I would totally fly out there and beat you senseless, but hey. I can't. But that's not what she meant. She's not threatening, she just doesn't want to see her older brother trash talked. You can't respect that? You fail at life.

4355842 I told her the reason why I disliked it is because she used the random tag to forgo any attempt at being coherent—which is stupid. The stories that I use the random tag on (which are many) still hold a story that's discernible, and the comedy is enhanced by this. Just going "HERP DERP LOL LOOK I CAN PUT STUPID THINGS TOGETHER LOOK IT DON'T MAKE THE SENSE HAHAHAH LAUGH AT ME" is not a type of "comedy" I want to see. Do you know what a satyr play is? It's the type of "theater" that accompanied greek tragedies for comic relief. They were just a random string of stupid slapstick acts that were meant to pander to the lowest common denominator. This is what that story is. It lowers the value of non-sequitor comedy, which is the "evolved" form of random.

And I certainly fail at life, I with the reputable fanfiction career. I'm not the one losing my shit over an internet opinion.

4355842 You know, that's not the only way the "Random" tag can be used. Just saying.

4355897
Random: without definite aim, direction, rule, or method

1
a : lacking a definite plan, purpose, or pattern
b : made, done, or chosen at random

As defined by the Webster dictionary. Yes, there are a few more ways to define random, but the way she used it... your making it sound like because she used it in a way you dislike, it's bad. She used it how it can be used. Simple as that. It's not like she's taking the comedy tag and saying that comedy can mean something not funny... comedy is comedy. Random is random.

And since when did I lose my shit? I've been calm through this whole thing. I haven't raged or called names, I said you fail at life. That's it. I'm staring to see this conversation has no meaning at all... because you're brain doesn't have the mental capacity to understand what basic words mean.

4355919 Well yeah, I know that. I'm not saying random means crazy shit no one could every see coming. But the way she used the tag doesn't go against how the tag is meant to be used, like this guy is saying.

4355897
Look, you said in this comment that this is not the kind of comedy that YOU like. Other people still like this story. And you say you left an opinion? You said my story sucked!
And here 4355810 I wasn't trying to threaten you. But I do feel bad for you cause you can't respect other people.

4356131 Yes. In my opinion, it sucks. That's not a fact.

I wasn't trying to threaten you

And I accept that. I read that wrong, that's my own fault.

I have been exceptionally aggressive, and I'd like to work on correcting that; I can offer some points and tips on how to work non-sequitor comedy correctly.


4355970 *you're

because you're brain doesn't have the mental capacity to understand what basic words mean.

*your
also, nice going there, pally. I can't comprehend basic words, and yet you with the various BASIC grammatical errors can.

The point here I'm making is that her random was obviously meant to make people laugh. In the context of this site (check the site writing guide under "tags" if you don't believe me) random is comedy taken a step forward into weird. I do it often—most of my stories have a random tag. When I do it, though, I take care to make sure the story is still engaging and has a self-aware pattern to the "random", and is not just a messy conglomerate of senseless events. you can make REALLY good stories out of "random". This is not one of them.

I don't dislike either of you as people, I don't know you. I don't even dislike you as writers. My opinion is that this ONE story is terrible. Others think otherwise. Good for them. I usually attempt to give tips and things, and I was posting from my phone and couldn't really write along review with great ease. I'm willing to cool off a bit on the hostilities and offer tips in both technical and metaphysical writing boundaries for Neon.

4356241 *clap clap clap* at first I hated your guts. But now I see that you've handled this situation in a polite manner. Thanks for clearing things up :eeyup:

4356347 no problem m80
you gotta swallow your pride sometime

Second chapter: old wrinkly sack of prunes :rainbowlaugh:
Liked!

4356241 You do know the difference between not knowing the definition of a word and saying someone is misusing a word when she's using it correctly, and just misspelling a word, right? Apparently not...

I see you and Neon are cooling off, so good... that's good. But you were being a dick, and I was calling you out on it, yet you were trying to defend why you were attacking my sister's story... can't you see why I would defend her?

4356776

You do know the difference between not knowing the definition of a word and saying someone is misusing a word when she's using it correctly, and just misspelling a word, right? Apparently not...

1. you misspelled/misused both instances of "your" and "you're"
2. I never claimed she misused a word, I claimed that she's not doing anything to better the use of the random tag. she's pandering to the lowest common denominator. "Strive for excellency in all things."
even the stupid, "random" ones.

But you were being a dick

I was. I admitted to that.

yet you were trying to defend why you were attacking my sister's story

because I don't just browse the front page, looking for fics to attack. At least, not anymore. I always have purpose for my "attacks". This purpose was because I decreased the already low value of fics with the random tag, had little visible effort into it, and felt like a reject smosh idea. I'm sorry, just because she's your sister doesn't mean she's absolved from writing crap on occasion. I haven't read her other stuff. Perhaps it's literary gold! I couldn't say. Just this one, particularly story is one I dislike, for reasons said.

My offer still stands. I'm more than happy to give her tips on how to write "better" because better is subjective in humor random works.

I hate pulling this card, and I'm going to do it against my better judgment. I didn't make it into the top 50 by chance. Yeah, a lot of my followers are here for reasons I don't like, and many of them are here because they deem my stories to be of good quality. I may have a thing or two that might be worth learning. I have a high percentage of comedy stories. I take comedy acting classes. I live and breathe satire because it makes the world bearable for me. I CAN be beneficial.

I promise to keep the jerkassery to a minimum from here on out.

4356842 I've been writing a lot of sotry things with the word "you're" in it... so my bad for misspelling the word.

I notice you pointed out all the things I said to you... save the good things, like how it's good you offered to help her, and how I was just trying to explain my actions...

I personally don't care what you take or do or write. You're good at comedy? Fine. That's great. If my sister wants your help, great, let her go for it. I'm glad to see you realized you approached wrong and I hope you do prove to be a valuable mentor/teacher/advice giver or whatever.

I was defending her because she is my sister. I never said it absolves her for 'writing crap' or whatever. But if you expect me to sit by while you attack my sister's story (you aren't now, but you did), then you must think I'm a terrible brother.

This made me giggle once or twice, but for the most part it wasn't very funny. A for effort, though. You obviously enjoyed writing it, and that's what matters.

Protip: randomness is not inherently funny. There needs to be some form of coherency, or else it won't be very amusing to anyone over the age of twelve. I would suggest writing a story, then adding the random humor in afterward so that there's a real plot instead of just a series of unconnected gags.

4356903

I notice you pointed out all the things I said to you... save the good things, like how it's good you offered to help her, and how I was just trying to explain my actions...

The good things don't need to be rebutted or discussed, because that'd just be dumb. Why argue over a compliment? Why disprove praise?

Anyway, I'm glad we reached a point where the antagonization is minimal. I'll leave you two be unless either of you want my help.

DWK

4356903
4356942
...now kiss...

4355630 SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!THEY'RE BOTH MY FRIENDS SO PLEASE STOP TROLLING THEM!!!!!!!!:flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage:

4356146
No I'm not. Why?:rainbowhuh:

4356942
I will accept your help. Thanks.:pinkiehappy:

4357474 please educate yourself on the orientation of the argument AFTER the post you have just replied to before you look even more redivulous, which is a difficult feat at this point

There is no need to be upset

4357953 alright, cool
Shoot me a pm when you're ready for me to start helping

4358117 Um, okay, I just saw the comment and well...I lost my temper...:ajsleepy:sorry

4358119 Ok! It probably won't be soon. I have a lot to do today.

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