A human wakes up at the bottom of crater in the middle of a wasteland. He has nothing to his name but the clothes on his back, a half-crumpled pack of cigs, a cheap lighter, a small notebook, a ballpoint pen, and a flask of most-likely illegal moonshine. Also, he can't seem to recall who he is, where he comes from, or how he arrived in the desert in the first place.
It might be from the blunt-force trauma of falling out of the sky, but he's not quite sure about that.
What he does figure is that he's no longer on Earth. The creatures popped straight out of a children's fairytale book, pastel equines who are way too cuddle-happy, and a rather ornery goddess of the night pretty much clinch that notion.
So what's a lone human with no viable chance of returning to a life he can't even remember to do?
Creating a guide so that he can survive the foreseeable future seems like a good start.
"There are three immutable facts I've come to embrace since my arrival in Equestria - narrative causality is king, magic can go eat a sack of horseapples, and Vinyl Scratch is rutting insane." - The Human's Guide to Equestria, Foreword
Nice opening. I'm intrigued.
I like
Great start. I'm really looking forward to seeing where you go with this.
One question though. When does this take place in the show's timeline?
Hmmm, not bad, but the story seems to be fighting with itself. You go between a welcome inspiration of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy but change moods quickly to a post apocalypse setting. This has potential but feels slightly off because of it.
The Great and Powerful Oz in Equestria? This could get very, very interesting.
Yeah... Yeah, the Diamond Dogs would be the only other race stupid enough to try to live in the Badlands, wouldn't they? Still, being mostly subterranean by nature, they can avoid the worst of it.
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The story starts shortly after the second season opening.
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Not exactly post-apocalyptic. Just a really cruddy place in Equestria. I found it interesting how humans are always dropped into one of three places in HIE fics - Ponyville, Everfree Forest, and Canterlot. I just wanted to give my protagonist a real look at the worst part of Equestria first, just to mess with him.
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Wow, someone got that reference already? Sweet.
4389917 Fair enough for the non-Everfree local (and you're right about 2nd & 3rd place), but my main concern was about story style.
I love survival tales and have no problem with the Protagonist being dropped in the middle of no where. It just felt like I went from reading a comedy to a survival story and didn't get a transition.
I'm not down voting or belittling the tale, it was more out of confusion than anything else.
Messing with the protagonist is something to be encouraged, especially if he's in no condition to mess back.
And I think the humor level is well sustained, based on my own experience as an individual who gets marginally funnier when the chips are down. Thumbs way up.
So... he is now in command of a diamond dog pack, i'm waiting for the reforms
Nom de Plume? Loving the name choice. You managed to make a AiE fic without it actually being literal AiE fic
By the way, how much time in all passed from his enslavement to his coup?
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Yeah...more reasoning behind the psuedo name will come later, and a real name will come about in...later chapters. In fact, I've already named him. You just have to read all three chapters to find out what it is.
As for the time elapsed between his capture and ascent, it was roughly a month. And he has no clue what he's gotten into.
I did. Greatly.
The one natural advantage humans have... the only real natural advantage we have, the thing that's got us to the top, is our brains. We are smarter, more adaptable and frankly meaner and more ruthless than any other species on this planet. Put us in a tight corner and you'll suddenly understand why the two most unbeatable strategic forms in the universe - the Xanatos Gambit and the Batman Gambit - were both created by humans.
The Diamond Dogs just found this out.
I wonder if Oz actually has the faintest clue what he's going to do next?
Awesome chapter.
One of the best protagonist EVER
I look forward to MOAR!
I can honestly say that the only frightening thing is our imaginations or seeing something dangerous without actually being there. For example, when I was twelve I went on a camping trip (Bivouac) with a group of other people. It was my turn for watch (at night, fyi) so I set myself up with my back to the fire and periodically walked the perimeter behind the tents to scar off anything too curious for its own good. While I was at the fire, I heard cracking, dry leaves and so I walked further from the fire to get a better view of what was causing it. Next I saw glimmering eyes, like when light hits a dogs eyes at just the right angle.
The camp was being watched and circled by wolves. Though, they knew better than to screw with us. What my point is, though, is that even at twelve years of age my instincts did not make me fearful. Rather, I was a little scared until the wolves arrived. Even when I couldn't see their eyes glimmer, just the sound of them moving around made me feel better because my jumpy imagination shut up. My instincts did not tell me to be afraid, rather, I was filled with a smoldering fury and a strong desire to bum rush them screaming my head off and slam theirs into something hard until it shattered before using the broken corpse as a blunt weapon against the rest.
THAT is why humans are the most feared beings on the planet. Television, movies, and books would have you believe that you get terrified and panicky or freeze up. That isn't want happens. You get violent, vicious, and mean. Fear forgotten in favor of fury. Even if you cannot see it, but can hear it, your mind goes "threat; kill it".
I really missed this story, any chances you will have an update someday soonish?
... that doesn't mean what you think it means.
If Diamond Dogs get most of their magic from the gems they eat, and he's eating(drinking) said gems, then is that going to have any effect on him?
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