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// Foreword 
// Story: The Human's Guide to Equestria 
// by Irritus185 
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When Oscar Zoroaster Phadrig Isaac Norman Henkle Emmannuel Ambroise Diggs did first come to Us to pen down a foreword for his maiden venture into literature, We were not sure as to why he would ask Us of such a boon. Our first meeting was not the most diplomatic of incidences and all future encounters only exacerbated the poor relationship that existed betwixt the two of us. The man seemed determined to not show Us the proper amount of respect due to one of Our position, and We were not so generous as to let such a breach of protocol and civility go about unpunished. Thus spoke a long and fruitless rivalry that lasts even to this day, though perhaps the flames of anger have settled low over time.

We did strain Our mind heavily over this strange request, long and tiredly through the day and night to determine whether or not We should acquiesce. Finally, We clamped onto the bit, swallowed Our well-deserved pride, and questioned the man. What he said in turn, and with it the implicit trust so held within his statement, is something we shan't soon forget - "Because you're the only one who'll rip it to shreds if it's a pile of horseapples without hesitation."

Despite his crude words, We did come to understand Oscar Zoroaster Phadrig Isaac Norman Henkle Emmannuel Ambroise Diggs's meaning. So it is with both pleasure and trepidation that We bring to you the life behind this text.

The Human's Guide to Equestria is the fascinating if somewhat unprofessional detailing of an outsider's viewpoint of Equestria. Though primarily designed for consumption by humans, a selling point We fear will be inefficient unless more show up unexpectedly, the text is also useful for those who live outside of Equestria's borders. Each of the entries list out various geographical areas; wildlife; the cultural, economical, and biological ways of the country's inhabitants; and various other miscellaneous information which may well come in handy more than one would first assume.

The author explains in great detail each of his interactions with the entries of this book, allowing for a greater personal connection with the reader, albeit at the expense of random babblings that he insists are cultural references even he cannot truly recall. Though he derives much of his explanatory information by making correlations to his past world, there are enough similarities that even one completely unfamiliar with it can extrapolate enough to garner an adequate understanding. As such, while low in pure academia compared to such scholars as Coltpernicus or Neighton, the informal nature of the book lends much a gay time to those who want to enjoy the painting that the author draws with his words, or simply revel in the trials and tribulations he endured to glean such lessons.

There are also occasional inputs from the various ponies that have come into contact with him, including words from Our royal selves. Compared to the more formal nature of the entries they are a bit incongruent, but the author chose to keep them as close to their original state as possible, explaining that they only serve to further solidify the "Wonderland-on-crack nature" of Equestria. While We feel there may be some hidden meaning in his words that does not translate properly into Equus, We find it fair to follow the desires of the author.

Oscar Zoroaster Phadrig Isaac Norman Henkle Emmannuel Ambroise Diggs is not a scholar. Nor is he a hero, a soldier, an adventurer, or some mystic creature. He is simply another one of Our subjects who has crafted a plethora of entertainment for those that may or may not come after him. Though Our thoughts on him may be antagonistic at times, there is no denying he is a good human, a fine stallion, and an interesting acquaintance. His writing, though trivial and maddening at times, is a capital addition to the shelves of ponies and others alike, and it is only apropos to end with a quote by him which condenses much of his beliefs into a simple sentence - 

"There are three immutable facts I've come to embrace since my arrival in Equestria - narrative causality is king, magic can go eat a sack of horseapples, and Vinyl Scratch is rutting insane." - Oscar Zoroaster Phadrig Isaac Norman Henkle Emmannuel Ambroise Diggs

Her Royal Majesty of the Night
Guardian of Dreams
Keeper of the Crescent Moon
Protectorate of All Lands Beneath the Silver Sky
Lunar Diarch of Equestria
Princess Luna Proserpina Hecate