I am the Harbinger of Mist. Lower life forms asphyxiate in my wake. I specialize in comedy.
A war has broken out between the royal sisters. Luna seeks autocracy over all the land with her newly established empire, and her sister is going to any means to prevent it from happening. More than one rift has formed: This split has caused their loyal subjects and even the Mane 6 to battle one another. None of the mayhem shall end until one side falls...
Cover art done by Sakura
Page generated in 0.106 seconds
Total duration
986 users online
282,359 hits today, 2,167,270 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Why can't more things like this hit the featured box instead of anthro tentacle porn or whatever?
4740795 odd. considering that a one-shot where Celestia and Luna have a pillow fight did so (and even made it into my favs). I'm admittedly trying to use the same formula. Then again, Akumo is super popular on this site, whereas i only have 4 followers.
Still, I'm thankful for your appreciation. Nice to know that people think this is quality work
And that is why no one listens to Sicilians.
Go on luna! Beat them sun loving faces and pin them to the ground...show then what your made off!
I dunno “ third base!”
I'm loving it so far so good!
best spot
When Fluttershy when completely (primate excrement)* crazy and used Pinkie's own properties against her.
* for the kiddies, the rest of us know she went A.S. nuts.
I will be saving this one.
4963178 tanks for the feedback
Does this mean a sequel? I need a sequel right now. Glad to see that luna was victorious! The writing was a good quality also. :) well done!
4966415 sorry, my friend. no sequel. But I see where you're going with this. So you can make it if you so choose.
you seem to be such the big fan, which i greatly appreciate. i knew i could count on you for feedback.
4966617
Maybe I could, I'll have a think about that. Thanks for your kindness. :)
4966859 thing is I wouldn't know what to do with it. This was a silly story, so I threw in a silly, but relatively proper, ending.
4968834
Yeah , your right about that actually . Just a one off story then I should think.
4972643 yeah, something short and simple. as long as they act serious and over-the-top but you can tell they know it's still just a game, you should be fine.
4973097
Nah, sequels won't do for this story really.
4977888 hmm... true.
The ending felt kind of abrupt, but on the other hand we kinda knew it was coming, just not how. And it didn't feel wrong.
A nice little romp.
4981025 My main issue so far is pacing. I'm always anxious to get to the good parts of my fic that I end up rushing it. So I'm not surprised that you thought the ending was abrupt. But for a "random/comedy" fic, I figured it could be forgivable, it isn't meant to be taken all that seriously. Rest assured that I will slow down and pad my stories appropriately and properly when they take on a more serious, or even mature tone.
That aside, I'm glad you enjoyed.
4981040 I didn't feel the story itself needed padding, really. Perhaps, as you say, this is due to its comedic nature. For instance, although Celestia's forces being decimated due to Fluttershy's rampage happened very quickly, I just accepted it as one of the wacky developments of the story. And then they broke into Celestia's stronghold and got her good with a snowball, the end, everybody go home now, fun's over, see you next year. It felt like, if anything, the story accelerated right before hitting a brick wall painted with the words "THE END."
What I'm trying to say is that maybe it could have used more denouement somehow, maybe with Celestia giving a corny dying speech, but I wouldn't worry about it TOO much. And don't go too far in the other direction ... too much padding is worse than a skeletal story IMO—at least a rushed story isn't boring!
4981081 don't worry. i'm talking about padding not for the sake of eating time, but for the sake of making sure the reader has time to follow the narrative and absorb what it happening; make it flow more naturally. I would not dare put in too much that it became boring.
also...
I can't believe I didn't have Celestia do a corny dying speech. now that you've mentioned it, that it my one other regret.
Liked...
Faved ...
And loved the Frozen reference at the end.
5097900 I never watched Frozen. Which reference did I apparently make?
edit: never mind... i just remembered.
That was hilarious!! If your other stories are anything like this, I will definitely follow.
6220159 if you thought this was funny. I put a lot more effort into my Whose Line crossover.
Well done, sir. I was chuckling the whole way through, especially when ponies almost gleefully starting acting against type--Shining taking his own sister hostage, and Rarity imprisoning Sweetie Belle, and Rainbow Dash taking out the Wonderbolts. And you did make an accidental Frozen reference at the end. :)
Comedy is not easy, but this one came through. Well done!
6433868 i was fully aware of the Frozen reference when i made it. But I'm very glad you enjoyed.
If you like good comedy, I hope check out my other stuff, it shouldn't disappoint.
This is silly! And a bit suspect, I might add.
It's snow fair, if you ask me. I ski what you did there, if you get my drift. Celestia's team put up a hail of a good fight. The Frozen reference was an ice touch! RD shouldn't have been back in action so soon after plowing through the fort. Still a cool story!
I'm stopping now....