- Member Since 29th Mar, 2014
- offline last seen Apr 24th, 2022
Derec mc coy
Your favorite jackass is back from the dead. be aware.
Derec mc coy
Joined 29th Mar, 2014 ·
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Huh... That was an interesting read. I do admit, it was rough throughout, but that can easily be remedied with time and experience. The story itself delivered a nice message, though its execution could have been presented differently, particularly with keeping in character. To me, I couldn't quite 'hear' Twilight's voice as I read her lines. I tried, but it didn't feel as if it was quite there. But, hey! Cliche #6: There's always room for improvement! Seriously, even I look back on my stuff and seek better alternatives, and there always are.
Anywho! It wasn't a bad story, could use some polishing and a couple more edits - spell check, mostly. (I sincerely apologize if English isn't your native language) Though, it has a nice message; persist against negativity and strive to defeat your doubts, bettering yourself in the end.
And, in regards as to why you wrote this, I can only extend my condolences for rainbowdashrules95. It's sad to see someone lose their passion over something they love when they're faced with harsh criticism. I really hope he can find his inner flame again and re-ignite that burning passion. I truly do. Someday, he may best himself and prove to be a magnificent writer. I only hope he has the audacity to endure the road that may lie ahead. It's not easy being a writer and there are many hardships that it entails. So, here's to rainbowdashrules95; may he fight an endless war of opinions and reign victorious in the end. No one should 'banish' themselves from their own creativity.
Well, this was a very poorly disguised pity party. It also had poor grammar, spelling, and pacing, but that might have been for effect. I really hope it was for effect.
Anywho, the thing that I disliked most about this was the 'moral'. It was about as useful as the moral from Feeling Pinkie Keen, which is the episode where Twi pretty much throws her own beliefs out a window in the moral. The problem is, you say not to let the dislikes and 'haters' get you down, ever. Honestly, if a story is really bad like many I have seen, it deserves the dislikes it gets. In real life, you don't get participation medals, only the winners and those who actually succeed in their pursuits get recognized. Scroll Pattern or whoever he was actually did the right thing in my book by not publishing his books anymore. This isn't to say he should stop writing the books, they just shouldn't be released until he can make something passable. They were apparently unprofessional and in need of lots of edits in both plot and style. Books like this shouldn't continue to be published, but they should be improved.
Banishing himself from the library was really overkill though. I mean, jeez. Grow some balls and take it, grow from it, and get better. That's what users should strive to do. Not throw themselves or others pity parties because no-one liked the poor little special snowflakes. And especially not get someone to write a pity party story about them.
All in all, 2/10 for slight effort but glaring errors and boring, obviously whining plot. Nice try, mate. Next time, try an idea that is actually enjoyable to read, why don't ya?
Cheers.
Um... You really need to work on your grammar
...
How did this story even get accepted? it clearly violates the "no stories about fimfiction or its users" rule. Also, read the first paragraph out loud. Seriously, just try reading it out loud. Now can you hear just how horribly incorrect your grammar is? Proofreaders are your friends, pal.
4326867
Not just friends. Best friends.
Instead of giving negative feedback, I'm going to suggest a few ways to improve your skills that worked for me.
Firstly, read a LOT. Read books every day, as much as you can. I also suggest audio books, as they allow you to lie back, close your eyes and let someone else read to you. My favourite books series is Game of Thrones, but I also love mythology. I strongly suggest finding some books you like, and try to read whenever you get some spare time. Also, read the stories on this site, the well written ones with good feedback, see what makes them good and why they are so popular.
When you write your own story, use Microsoft Word or another editing program to spell check and remove any punctuation mistakes. Read it through to yourself slowly, go over each paragraph several times in your head (or read it out loud if that helps) to make sure every sentence sounds right. Get as many other people to read your story as you can, BEFORE you post it to the site, to check for any mistakes you may have missed.
Take your time. A good story which took you a month to write is going to be far more successful than one riddled with errors which took you a day or two to write.
Don't give up, and good luck!
I'm gonna say one thing.
You give up on writing, you prove almost everyone right. Don't be that person. Listen to those willing to help, and I'm sure you'll be well on your way to writing good stories.
P.S. PM me if I can be of any assistance.
~DustyPwny
You have a typo in the short description. It is spelled luckily.
cdn.yourepeat.com/media/gif/000/249/181/18657be19ae6fd503ac7caaafdf500c5.gif
4327097 JAMES?
4327159 WILSON. JAMES MUDA F*KING WILSON!
4327169 where the hay are you talking about?
You what's worse than a bad story? A bad story thinly disguised as something else.
It almost physically hurt to read this. Not because of the subject matter, but because of the terrible spelling, grammar, cardboard cutouts of the characters and non-sensical plot. A story needs to make sense. A story has to have a reason for being. What you did is create a cautionary tale with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer to the side of the head.
And the story itself makes no sense. This terrible writer banishes himself from the library as if that's even possible or that's going to solve anything. Here's the thing. You don't write to get praise. You don't write to get famous. You don't write because it's a good way to look tortured while you're drinking your latter at Starbucks. You write because there's a story inside you that needs to get out. It's bugging you, constantly poking at the inside of your head, crying night and day to let it see the light until you finally put pen to paper and let it free.
Your first story will suck. There's really no other possibility unless you're exceptionally good at your craft and have learned everything you need to know. If you listen to your critics and if you actually pay attention to how others react to your work you can maybe avoid the same mistakes the second time. if however you continue to do the same things over and over again then you're not only going to stagnate and continue sucking but people are simply going to expect a bad story from you and come into it with a negative view before they even read it. They'll be harsher and more critical of your story than they will with somebody new.
So here's the thing. You need to learn how to improve your stories if you want them to be received any better.
OH GOD
Anyone else read the main character's dialogue in Tommy Wiseau's voice?
4327181
4326876
Guys, you're not getting it.
This is the story in the story. It's meta as fuck. It's brilliant.
4326867
4326876
I actually edit for a guy who I found thanks to his writing a terrible story. Now he's writing a decent story, and I'm enjoying editing it.
There are some stories that editors and proofreaders won't touch, and I've seen those as well. I haven't yet read this story, but in the case of a story of wish fulfillment or ponifying a bad story premise, editors will be your worst enemy, because they won't even want to touch the the terror that is your story, much less give it a serious edit.
What Eyvind pointed out initially, about the story clearly breaking site rules, further compounds my notion that the guy who wrote this is probably a troll or something. Wrote a deliberately bad story to get people to rage and make him laugh. His only reply in the comments section so far, specifically who he replied to and the wording he used, gives me the feeling that he's doing this on purpose.
So, no, proofreaders would only make his story worse, seeing as he didn't set out to make a good story in the first place, and is more likely deliberately trying to rustle your jimmies.
31.media.tumblr.com/73ac672feab918a0dc95f004af397382/tumblr_mqu703Rfmu1soc1nzo1_r1_400.gif
4328110 My jimmies have been sufficiently rustled
4328110 Yes, I like your raging comments, yes, i break rules, yes, i'm a jerk. it's all true. you got me. dang it. but there is one thing you need to know. my grammer does really sucks!
but stay calm. i'm looking for an editor right now for my next story.
yay
4331558
We already knew that.
Rainbowdashrules was a terrible writer and a drama queen.
oi59.tinypic.com/fdde1e.jpg
4856190 what?
Well I gotta say that was pretty good man. Keep it up.
5057986 you read the wrong stuff. This sucks. Read the rumour. That's better s***. But still s***
This comments section though.
5243045 whats wrong with it?
5243047
Nothing.
Would you like me to edit this fan fiction for you?
5243049 it's nice of you... but I actually gave up this story....
I started it... wanna read it?
it was an experiment, and I failed....
I wanted to delete it but.... yeah...
....
so, I appriciate the offer, but no...
I'm more looking for an editor for your ship!
5243054
Sure!
5243063 okay... I'll PM you