Thought to be dead for over a year, Equestria is stunned when Rainbow Dash returns, having been made the slave of a sadistic griffon for the past year. Her friends are understandably overjoyed, but can they handle the nearly broken pegasus?
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Interesting... I'll look forward for more... upload soon!
what is with the constant use of rape in your stories? not against using it as a narrative device just use of a similar tool over and over.
I find it's an interesting narrative device, and I like to give it the gravity that rape deserves. Combine that with a year of near-constant abuse for a very prideful, self-confidant character...
I like the premise of this story. Bringing Rainbow Dash home and all that. Won't be easy for anypony though, so I'm looking forward to more
I have not seen any of your previous work so I don't know how good you are at writing, but this idea has a lot of potential if done well. I look forward to seeing where this goes.
Something a lot of writers seem to have trouble with is context. Just because WE know these characters doesn't mean you shouldn't take the time to introduce them better. Without context, there is no real "breaking" of Rainbow Dash. The Rainbow Dash we're introduced to isn't the brash, headstrong pegasus, but a victim, and almost an entirely different character, so the weight of using rape as a narrative device is effectively lost.
That aside, your pacing needs work. The chapter moved too fast for me to get involved, or want to. Dark content can be effectively immersive, but you have to MAKE it immersive.
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Thank you for the advice! Yes, I'm afraid pacing has always been one of my writing flaws.
Um... Were spitfire and dash an item? Is that as she felt ice in her gut when she saw dash?
As for the Minotaurs and griffins in the camp BURN IN TARTARUS, YOU EVIL BASTARDS!
Please release the next chapter soon, I need to know what happened
Also I never thought the wonderbolts could be so scary
interesting, I look forward to seeing where this story goes.
Keep up the good work
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this chapter may be short but it is very good
Me like so far
4305775
As long as you don't endorse it real life, you should be OK there. BTW, if Celestia opposes slavery so much, why hasn't she done more to stop the minotaur slavery practice (outside of Equestria I mean)?
Dun Dun Duuuuunnn!!!
Sir, you have my bloody god damn mother fucking attention!
Now finish the fucking story, please.
4855929 She can't; imagine if Britain tried to help outlaw slavery in the US.
Cue the dramatic music.
That was honestly badass. Good job.
4305775
Damn, I respect that!