This story is a sequel to The Incredibly Conflicted Mind of Pinkie Pie
Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash have been dating for a good while and although there have been a few rough patches here and there, the pair remain extremely close to one another. Even a whole changeling army couldn't tear them apart! But could it have been the catalyst to deepening their relationship?
Follow Pinkie Pie as she dwells on life and love in the aftermath of a beaten Canterlot and finally answer perhaps the most tantalising question of all...
Will Rainbow and Pinkie finally bang?
(Part of the Winningverse, but only the RainbowPie 'arc', of sorts, is needed to understand this fic. Heck, you could probably just read this straight up actually.)
Chapters (2)
The Rainbow Pie can make room for Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie.
After I read this, it was really hard to picture things after A Canterlot Wedding going any other way. Everyone being guilty and feeling like total mules, while Pinkie sets to smack the problem with her puffy pink head (and a plentiful plethora of pancakes) until it's solved.
Also, the idea that Pinkie might be a master burglar just so she can snuggle on people or give them breakfast in bed is distinctly hilarious to me. Especially since most ponies would probably shrug about the 'how' and assume Pinkie was just being Pinkie, and ignore the utterly mundane way she broke in.
I know who needs to be in the next Thief reboot now.
I'm a big fan of the Winningverse. And this was... interesting, at the least. But it doesn't feel much like the Winningverse's version of Pinkie Pie. I always figured her to be like someone sucked on a jawbreaker, then stuck cotton candy on it. Looks big, poofy, fluffy, airy, but if you bite in there's more layers than your teeth can cut through, and it can't be ignored. And occasionally she'll make you take a bite of the jawbreaker so you see there's something there, or just part the fluff. But it's always there. She seems more... well, airheaded here. Well meaning, but airheaded.
Post-wedding stories are always interesting as a premise, but rarely handled with a lot of grace because the episode was not really at all well written from a character perspective and people hew so closely to the original script, rather than a sort of "the events happened, but the details differed" that we see with much of the Winningverse. I'm not sure what you plan to do, but good luck.
On a technical level for the writing, your use of 'cause is inaccurate to the way English is written, and can be just put as "cause", or "because" just fine. But the other part, which badly takes me out of things, is your use of "li'l", "Y'know", "kinda", and other phonetic representations of the way she talks, ESPECIALLY in narration. Trust the reader to hear her voice and substitute those verbal tics internally, and err on the side of formality in narration. Sometimes you can get away with it in dialogue, but usually not, and doing it once can influence the reader more than just writing how people actually talk.
A really fun read, though one line in particular stood out to me
Makes it seem like Twilight is referring to not knowing she had a brother until a few days ago
... Although, that'd make for an interesting story 
Anywho, like I said, was a fun one, looking forward to more
Why do I get the feeling that Dashie's not gonna be happy that Pinkie isn't there when she wakes up?
This, this is Pinkie, the very core of Pinkie.
I wonder why there are so many down votes :-/
4272879
Instead of ignoring it and moving on, people would rather downvote a fic just because it's associated with something they don't like.
That's my guess anyway.
4272886
Huh. I guess that makes sense.
Why can't people just like this wonderful story?
One quote from Integration came to mind when Celestia made the motions.
The Pinkie Promise, the universal oath.
4272897 It's... difficult. The winningverse really did a number on poor Dashie. I mean, clueless, okay, I get that. But in this verse she's flat-out asexual. PTSD and damage to your lady parts will do that. I'm not saying it's impossible to ship her, just that it presents some real difficulties. Dashie doesn't get love beyond platonic, and has no drive to find out about it. People who aren't fans of the verse have it even worse. They don't know going in what to expect, so won't really get why Dash is as she is. Ah well.
Go on Pinkie, Dashie needs some sexual healing.
That's Zacatron's easter art, right?
No, they won't. They are cartoon ponies that do not wish to have sex. It's just your warped minds that want to see them participate in sexual activities.
Why do people think Dashie's a lesbian? IT'S A KID'S SHOW.
Please don't go on about how it has "a deeper meaning" because it doesn't. The show only promotes Hasbro's toyline - they don't care about the viewers.
4273294
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1. Sex exists in Equestria. Pound and Pumpkin came from somewhere, and it wasn't a delivery by Derpy. How it works... no idea. Nopony seems to have naughty bits. I guess it's all really intense nuzzling.
2. Of course Hasbro does not write the show for shippers. Now pandering... that's another matter. There are far too many almost-kisses to be a coincidence.
3. Rainbow is a cartoon. Cartoons have no sexual preference. She can be written with one, but ink and paper cares not for which bits you have beneath your tail. Strictly speaking, Rainbow cannot be a lesbian, or straight, because noone in Equestria has sexual organs. An inherently sexless world cannot have a preference.
4273392
reactiongifs.com/r/2013/05/didnt-read.gif
4273411 No skin off my neck. Have a nice day.
4272984
I guess she does.
4272886
What is the thumbs-down button for, though, if not to indicate that you dislike a story?
Either that or royal guard armor came equipped with special emergency coffee beans and a cute li’l mug.
Just gonna leave this here *whistles and walks away*
4273411
Upvote simply because of that .GIF
4273451 * inserts good guy Greg/ steel resolve meme*
mfw you wrote this story and got it featured without me even knowing
Jake, pls stop being magic.
4274284 That's the issue, though. Many of these downvotes aren't from people who read the story (or tried to) and then genuinely disliked it, but are just people who have some problem with the Winningverse setting in general - maybe they hate early, unapologetically nympho CK, or they don't like the writing style, or maybe they just can't stand Chengar for some reason - but instead of ignoring stories set in it, they feel a compulsion to automatically downvote every one that pops up.
And if that's really what they want to do, fine, I guess, but it's really kind of a dick thing to do. At the very least, they could justify their downvote with a comment.
4276661
Not to mention the one "I hate shipfics" comment we've already gotten. And people who just downvote anything that makes the feature box. And people who downvote any fic that conflicts with their OTPs. And people who downvote because they're homophobes and it's a homosexual pairing. And...
Yeah, downvotes happen for a lot of arbitrary reasons that have little to do with the story itself. Granted, there are probably arbitrary upvotes too, but those don't get people nearly so bothered.
4275001 Oh look, it's Superflyingcookie's alt account.
4277450 not really, I just liked the gif, I purposefully said that I only up voted because the gif was funny, I don't agree with whatever he said and I also don't get why the sudden down vote storm because he had a different opinion of something, oh wait that's right its the internet where liking something even remotely associated with some one of different opinions is akin to a hate crime
what happened to "love and tolerance"? Has it just died with the first 3 seasons or did it ever exist in the first place?
4277683 Alright, this is gonna be hard to hear for you, I'm sure, but how about this? He's allowed to have his opinion, and other people are allowed to have their own opinion of his opinion!
Gasp! The ways in which freedom of speech work are strange, aren't they? It's almost as if people are as free to dislike his thoughts on the story as he is the story itself.
Of course, since he out and out says that he doesn't mean what he says and he's just a tryhard troll who likes causing drama (on derpibooru they are called "ducks"), there's no reason to respect or tolerate his opinion at all.
As for love and tolerance, you don't hear anyone attacking him personally over his opinion, do you? I have several friends who have opinions running the gauntlet from ignorant to out and out malicious, but they're still good people.
TL;dr People are treating him as he deserves to be treated and have done nothing ethically wrong or hypocritical in finding his opinion to be ill founded and dumb. Oh, and he has used that same gif like five times now. It lost its novelty after the first post.
4274284 Oh, that is what the downvotes are for, but...
Downvotes should be associated with lack of quality.
For example, I am not too fond of clopfictions. But I don't go around downvoting all clopfictions, because that wouldn't be fair. I only downvote those stories that I read and consider that deserve it for bad quality.
Some people downvote because they don't like the shipping. Some do because it's the Winningverse. Some just downvote because they're bored.
There are a LOT of people that just downvote anything related to the WInningverse, and I really don't understand the reason.
4277751
cdn.gifbay.com/2012/10/there_is_no_need_to_be_upset-4390.gif
4278366 See, once again you assume too much of how much people care. People don't find you infuriating or upsetting. They find you annoying. You aren't a terror to bronies everywhere. You're that one kid who annoys people on the playground because nobody wants to hang out with him.
How many chapters can one expect from this :D?
It has all the characteristics of a story—words, paragraphs, sentences—but its derivativeness is so intense, has gone so deep, that its ability to make an impact on the reader has been eradicated, the victim of a slow, boring series that just won't fucking end. It is simply imitating meaningful fiction, a rough resemblance of a good story, with only a dim light to make it remotely coherent.
So are we to expect more? /)
(\
4277751 first of all, I never implied people couldn't have their opinion of someone else's, I'm sorry if it seemed that way, second of all, I didn't know he said he didn't mean it, I just thought he was pulling a Bernard Marx on us, glad to clear that up, and third, I know no one was attacking him personally, I just didn't see the need for the storm of dislikes for what amounted to just a common troll, a single down vote would have achieved the same result and last lay I had not seen that gif or ev in him before, but OK, I also can't believe ppl would down vote me simply because I liked his gif :/
4281409
Apparently "voting somebody down" is akin to branding their behaviour a hate crime.
Hence why I said what I said about us being able to dislike his opinion.
As for the storm of dislikes, it's to show our great irritation with and disdain for him. He enjoys trolling but brings no substance to it. I remember when the trolls on this site had class.
4279953 Like this one, for instance. A troll with an ability to be more opaque about his trollish behaviour. He manages to piss people off without tryharding about it.
As for you liking his gif, the downvotes on that came from him being malicious and unpleasant to another fimfictioner who calmly explained why his vitriolic opinion had logical holes in it and you endorsing his comment just because he did so in a way you found funny.
Thank you for taking the time to be diplomatic and considerate about your response, that said. I really do appreciate it.
Also, since most of the comments seem to be--somewhat unfairly--about the downvotes or the trolling, rather than story itself, I'll say it still captured the essence of Pinkie Pie pretty well. However, there were a few moments where I felt like you forced similies or Pinkie taking something literally. I dunno. Somehow it felt like you were less confidently in command of her voice this time around. Still, there were many hilarious lines and it was still as always one of the best portrayals of this pony on the site by a wide margin.
Wish we would get a bit more of RBD's voice in these stories, since you haven't really given much of her characterization in her relationship. This is problematic, because it means we don't really get to see how much RBD legitimately feels for Pinkie romantically and how much she's humoring her romantic feelings because she loves her. This will, potentially, make or break a relationship between the two, so it'd be good for you to explore a little.
Overall it was still a very funny story with great pace and a strong narrative style. It just needs to be smoothed over a bit and given a little more direction. Look forward to see where it's going.
Cheers, Knight of Cerebus.
4288020
Mhm. I blame the pressure from this fic. I really want to deliver well on it, like last time, but the pressure's just bringing me down, man.
4288026 I suspected as much. I give this advice to everybody regarding pressure, mostly because it helps me quite a bit. Don't write the story because other people will like it. Write it because you feel it should be written. Just remember why you wrote the first one, and focus on developing your writing from there.
4282776 fist, the hate crime was an exaggeration for faux shock value, and I wouldn't call it an endorsement, I just like them picture of a black guy dancing like an idiot saying didn't read lol, I even explicityly stated that I did not agree with him in any way, and trolls with class? Seems legit oh and I realize he had a terrible argument, I just didn't apply that knowledge to my rational thinking skills :/
4293975 Shock value nets you downvotes.
As for the gif being funny, I find it decently funny, though the connotations with flyingcookie does reduce my enjoyment of it.
4294019 fair enoughenough
I could hear the entirety of the narration in Pinkie's voice so I've gotta say you nailed that pretty well.
All in all there's some decent characterization going on, particularly with the pink one herself, of course. The others may not stand out as well as Pinkie but that's to be expected in a first person narrative. So while I wouldn't say any of them were lacking in the bits where the other characters are interacting with her, I am certainly looking forward to seeing them fleshed out more as the story progresses.
For the first chapter I'd say the hook is decently strong: we get right into the issue almost immediately. The only minor gripe would be that the conflict given has little to do with the relationship between Pinkie and Dash (yet). It's not a big issue since what we have is interesting and well written but it just feels like its not living up to the title and description yet.
Guess that means I'll just have to stay tuned for more, then.
Good update to the series. I am looking forward to the update. I liked the nod to The Study of a Winning Pony.
Thanks for the read!
This was very well, and very tastefully done. Especially at the end. Well done.
I see. So it was vaginismus caused first by phisical trauma then psychologicaly caused by fear of recurrent trauma.
And then they banged.
I thought the advice given by Cadence was a little odd in delivery but that is tempered by the very difficult situation that she is trying to advise (and Pinkie was unable to give the pertinent info on why Dash had trouble being intimate since she did not know herself).
However I think you did a really great job with Dash and Pinkie at the end. The result has enough slowness and back and forth that it feels right. Dash wants to go through with it but is having trouble. At the same time you don't repeat it so many times that it gets old. You get a good feel for Pinkie and also of Rainbow Dash who now loves Pinkie enough that she is willing to do this even with her issues. This after Pinkie gives her every chance to bolt. Pinkie also shows great restraint and that is nice to see.
I also see the ending as being very classy for what it is. You do not go into lurid details about the act which I think in this vein is a good thing. I enjoy stories like "Romance Reports" where the author describes sexual acts in detail but I think with this story this fits better. I think you also do an excellent job showing that Pinkie and Dash are doing an act of love and are not just "banging".
Another part that I feel won't get the recognition it deserves (since it is mostly character filler but wonderful filler) is the hospital scene. Being in Pinkie's head during those situations was really interesting and I think you could have some very good stories just doing things like that.
It is great to see that we have the story that ends essentially the original conflict of the Kicker series. While I would love to see stories taking place after this at the very least we get an ending worth reading.
Now that's what I call a story! 13 thousand words is a great achievement, good sir. That's exactly how the stories should be written and you did it perfectly. Thank you for writing it.
I think you really did justice to these characters and to the greater arc of the Winningverse. I know there's more to look forward to in the universe, but there's still a bit of sadness that everything's ending. I love these two, and I love this Pinkie. There were some really golden moments for her in this story. Anyways, I wanted to throw in a few editing things I caught:
world
It seems like an editing note accidentally replaced a word here? Maybe "to have a good time, too."
She'd
just "yours" no apostrophe.
Fantastic look at the Pinkiedash relationship that started the Winningverse to begin with.