Twilight New Family

by OccamsRazor

News

"What do you mean I am pregnent.“ I said.

"I mean that you have a foal inside of you and in ten months or so you will give birth to it and it will grow to become a pony? I taught you knew that," said the dr.

"Oh no," said I, shocked at the drs words.

"How do you think the father will be thinking when you tell him that you are having his foal!" said the brown earth pony.

"I do not kno who the father is is?" I said. I was very confused.

"You mean you slept with a guy and you don't even know him? Get out you slut whore!" said the dr.

I ran out crying because the dr called me a slur whore and I am not i just slept with a few guys because I was sad after spike moved in with Rarity.

Author's Note:

U ppl did not like my first story but if you don't like this then don't read it.

Comments

[Wurd]

This person is known for writing sad, inappropriate troll fics.Look at this persons other story...although I recommend NOT to read it.
It's a serious troll fic that will put you in depression if your favorite pony Is Twilight, Dashie, an earth pony,(<<<<these are the really depressing ones...) or ANYPONY.
I'm warning you now...this person is a serious troll.Dont believe me?Ask the dishes.They can sing they can dance.After all this is France...(sorry I had to do that.)

IM WARNING YOU!!!!

[GoldRose]

Uhhh...ok I am array in depressed so that will not effect me but....

[Misspegasister_]

"What do you mean I am pregnent.“ I said.

The first sentence of the story...

When you type out a story, there will be an automatic spell-checker, so if you type something wrong, the word will be underlined in red. Why don't you listen to this? It's really helpful.

It might be that you type fast, but

"I do not kno who the father is is?" I said. I was very confused.

*Know
You don't need the "I was very confused" part, because you've already shown that in the speech text. Also, why is there two if the word "is"?

because I was sad after spike moved in with Rarity.

Well you can't just like keep Spike, he's a living breathing being, not some kind of toy.
Also, what does sleeping with ponies have to do with this?

There are a lot of spelling, punctuation and grammatical errors here. I highly recommend an editor and a proofreader.

It's a lot better than your first one, though. The pacing has improved a lot.