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Shortly after the Changeling Invasion, a human wakes up in Chrysalis' body in the middle of the Badlands. Alone, hurt, and starving, she tries to make sense of where she is and what happened. Unable to remember even her own name, she struggles with her identity as she faces the trials of being public enemy to a whole species.
Or, you know, she doesn't. Identity crises are overrated anyways.
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I love it! Continue, please!
Good start!
I'm offended that there isn't more story yet!
But seriously, this is a decent start. Let's see where it goes. Likefave.
You've got my attention.
Funny! Very much so.
Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.
Bit on the short side but I love it
can't wait for the next chapter.
Ị̛͙̜̼̜̈́̎̇ͥ̚'̶͙̖̔̑̈̏͋lͧ̎̏ͪ̃l̫̼͍̣̮̋ͫ̏̓ͦ̅͡ͅ ̟̯̭͕̝̗̬̉͛͜b͔̻̯͖ȅ̮͂ ̗̇̆͠w͐҉ͅȃ̠̙͎͎̘͕̖͒ͤṫ̢̰ͦ̎c̶͉̝̮̜͑ͮ̓͐ͦ̓͂ͅh̻̝̫̻̗̚͜ͅi̇̅͏̯̥͙̰̤n͉̯̭̣̘̐̑̓ͯg̴͇̩̟ͨ͆ͤ ̢̳̖͉̹̙̉ͨ̽̂ͅͅÿ̼̰͖̰͡o̻͓̺͍ũ͋̃͊͘.̲͔͒͐ͪ̿
i.imgur.com/KdikzKO.jpg
MoAaaaar work faster
This is an awesome story that I'm looking forward to reading more of!
Keep up the good work and the smartass character!
I thumbs too hard
encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSCJ0STo0UWjmBGA3AEXTdqdrbAKkkcYzl7NyaIXsKjoM8fCTD_LA
this is good, i like this
GGRRrr
]
[Found this story on the featured list and read both your chapters. Now I want moar!]
GGRRrr
[I also hope you are an author who posts chapters within at least a day or two, but I am demanding too much so take as much time as you need for good chapters.]
GGRRrr
[Keep up the good work.
Moar.
...
...
...
That is all.
4159203 Tag your porn
> Prepares for massive changeling story outbreak.
"IT BEGINS!"
Haha, good show, I have to read this now since I was about 2k words into something similar, but I think my idea was a bit darker and tragic at the end.
But I shall follow since it this seems to closely related.
I used the same image for a similar story set on Earth instead of Equestria...
See, this is what all Human stories should be like. Take notes, HiE writers, this is your genre done right.
Eagerly awaiting more! Loving what you have so far, I'm invested.
>>>If you're offended by any content here, please write a comment expressing your anger. I'll find it hilarious.>>>
I protest this story on the basis that bug ponies are icky and gross and spread cooties.
>>>Don't ask me how I know what it feels like to have your legs be on fire, but believe me, it is extremely unpleasant, >>>
I can vouch for this assessment. I have set my legs nearly on fire several times.
Science happens, ya know?
4159786 Noted, my good sir. However, if you took a closer look, I think you would find Frank to be both well kept and clean, the opposite of icky and gross, but also inoculated against cooties of all sorts. I can't vouch for Chrys, though. 'Ling be cray.
I like this. I like this a lot. I expect a helluva lot of shenanigans in the future of this story. More than there are questions for poor Frank and the times she poked him combined.
4159775 Uhm, I hope you're not serious.
This sort of style only works a few times as a farce or satire, after which there's nothing more that can be done with it.
Having humans just drop into Equestria for no good reason, or into any universe for that matter, really doesn't leave much room for storytelling.
Living like a bug ain't easy...
4159806
They didn't take it seriously. That's where they went right. People need to accept that serious HiE stories have been done to death and that you need something to differentiate each one from the mass of similar stories. Normally, human-wakes-up-in-a-pony-body stories makes me want to vomit, but by employing humor, the author made this story enjoyable for me. I'm not saying humor is the only way to do this, but this author has found a way to stand out in a field of mediocrity.
Damn it, this had better not update as slowly as "Hail to the King"...
Because it's awesome!
I hope the "new" Chrysalis does some good for the Changelings.
Really good, and funny, keep going.
That, good madam, is TWO words, not one. Thou hast LIED!
*Is assuming author is a madam due to character being female*
4159877 I see what you mean.
For 'serious' HiE stories, the first and foremost issue is often that too few of those authors bother to ask WHY the human ended up in Equestria (this is also a problem with the vast majority of crossovers as well). Those that do take the time to consider that crucial plot point often do a fairly good job with the story, and some do extremely well when they either make the transfer the lynchpin of the story itself, or directly linked to the central conflict.
4159892 that title seems vaguely familiar
Can you link to that "human in a nightmare moon body" fic? I am curious.
4159970
True. That's most of what separates the good from the bad in the genre. The other major factor is whether or not it's self-insert. A self-insert main character lowers the quality of the story significantly in most cases.
Alright... Tracking because there's hardly ANY female HiE's, and I wanna see what you do with this/where it goes. Good luck!
4159970 Right. For a serious Human in Equestria done right, see "Through the Well of Pirene". From the very start, we know exactly why the main character is in Equestria, why they have the body of a pony, who is responsible, and what's at stake (though this develops as the story progresses). There's a clear goal driving the story, and some fantastic bits of intrigue.
Then we have something like this. 99% of the time, the author thinks "hey, this is a cool situation, let's roll with that", does some writing, and then just leaves the story as perpetually incomplete having gotten bored. So what really needs to happen is either (a): figure out where the protagonist ought to be by the end and hurry to that point; or (b): work out the "why" and draw the story to a conclusion to that end. Essentially, before picking up the pen (or keyboard), every author should know how their story is going to end.
Not saying this is bad, not at all. Quite the opposite in fact.
4159986 Indeed, and that's often because the self-insert is based upon the author... who, more often than not, dwells in his parents' basement and has no life.
I, however, live on the second floor of my parents' house and make THEM live in the basement! (Alondro is an evil person..)
Anywho, my self-insert is in my second and most dumbest of all stories! He's the chronically drunk captain/crew of an interstellar salvage ship that looks like a flying space turd. (a very accurate self-reference!)
4160072 You know, that was exactly the story I was going to use as an example.
And it also takes time to truly flesh out the human characters, give them some complex backstory, create a detailed world... oh so many wonderful details!
The only issue I have at all with it is that the very young characters seem to think and speak more like experienced adults frequently.
It's often hard to keep in mind that little kids are usually pretty naive, unless like me they began watching the evening news and public television documentaries by age 3.
4159798
You said you'd seen this done for sombra and nightmare moon. Could I trouble you for the story names my good man/lady/insert species here?
4159985
ooh easy, here is one i found before this one that i love and await updates for.
Nightmare Moon Story
enjoy!
4160154 hail to the king
4160154
here is a Nightmare Moon Fic.
Well, let's see where this one goes. Considering I've liked the other stories like this that I've seen, I have good hope for this one.
4159985
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/175640/trust-in-the-night
There you go.
4160218
4160335
Thanks.
Interesting premise; looking forward to seeing more of this.
I don't normally like for such a short story (currently) but I like it! I want Moar!
Not a complaint but an observation:
In this case it would be venomous. poison must be ingested to kill (puffer fish for example) venom is injected via various means (spiders, snakes, bees, and in this case; Changelings)
Feel free to ignore me if it so pleases you.
Hm….
You'll find it hilarious? Okay.
*throws a dog biscuit at Guldo*
To short.