All around the peaceful town of Ponyville, peaceful little ponies began to rise with the sun, its glimmering light filling the sleepy village. Most of the citizens of this quiet community were blissfully unaware of the events which had transpired the night before. Many of the witnesses still laid in there bed, eyes wide open, hoping, praying, for the relief of sleep, even as the sun rose.
Outside, the air was cool, and fresh, and except for a small percentage of the community, the day started normally. Included in this small percentage were 2 police ponies, and a yet-to-awaken princess.
After the dark brown police stallion freed his partner, Peacekeeper, from the clutches of his princess, they had quickly shut the cell and made sure it was locked up tight, staring at the sleeping alicorn from the 'safe' distance of the other side of the bars.
"Hey, um, thanks for helping me out in there, Roger. I don't know what she was planning on doing me, I'm just lucky she was out when you found me." Peacekeeper scratched a the tile floor with her hoof, "But still I hope she's ok."
"Mmm-hmm," the dark brown stallion, Roger, nodded gruffly, "How'd she get her hoofs on you before you could radio about any danger? And who brought her in?"
"Hey guys, I heard you talking from outside, everything ok in...SWEET MOTHER OF CELESTIA WHAT HAPPENED IN HERE?" The training mare shouted, now just returning from the station after a fruitless attempt to chase down her recruit.
"That's what I wanna know, Law." Roger replied, looking back to Peacekeeper. "Just what the hell went down here last night? And why is the evidence locker missing, with cocaine spread all over the place?!"
"I don't know Roger. As for who brought her in, she brought herself in. I don't know where Outpost was, he was supposed to be standing guard, but I haven't seen him since he went outside. Have either of you?"
"Nope," Roger replied.
"Not a sign," Law added.
"Well, where ever he is, I hope he's ok."
-----------------------------------------
At Pony Joe's
Outpost was eating a celstia-damn doughnut and it was celestia-damn delicious.
Suddenly, a small purple dragon burst through the door, looking about, before meeting eyes with the shop owner, Pony Joe.
"Joe! Have you seen Twilight at all? She said she was going out last night, but she never came back, and the Rainbow Dash came to the library trying to find her, saying she was under some kind of spell!"
Joe shook his head solemnly, "Sorry, Spike. I didn't see Twilight at all for my shift last night. Maybe you can ask that nice officer over there for help. If she's missing, I'm sure her friends and the police can track her down lickety-split!" He added reassuringly.
Spike nodded before heading over to the table with Outpost sitting behind it. He heard the entire conversation, but he really had no desire to go back to the station and be chewed out by Roger for leaving his post. It was such a stupid job, just standing out front waiting for something exciting to happen, and when it finally did, the situation walked itself right into the celestia-damn station! No fuss!
"Um, excuse me, officer? I was wondering if you could help me find Princess Twilight?" Spike asked nervously.
"Last I saw she was back at the station, kid. I'm sure she's in custody right now, and they're working through everything they can."
"Really?! Oh what a relief! Which way is the station?" Spike asked, relieved the Twilight was ok.
Outpost took another bite of his doughnut before answering, "Just go down toward the market, and then take a left at the town hall. It's about a block down that road. If you hit The Crystal Empire, you've gone too far."
Spike raised his eyebrows at the last bit, assuming it to be a joke, and replied, "Ok, thanks officer!" before running off.
Pony Joe stared at Outpost as he took another bite, starring off into space, "Uh, officer? Why did you tell him to go the opposite direction of the police station?"
Outpost swallowed, "There are things not meant to be seen by the eyes of children..."
-------------------------------------
Back At The Station
"...and that's all I know."
Roger was rolling around laughing while Law tried to retain her composure, only an occasional, suppresed giggle leaving her mouth. "So...so let me get this straight...Princess Twilight screamed for you to 'give it to her', and then...and then called you 'baby', and...and then knocked you out with her ass?!" Roger asked through howling laughter.
"Don't say it like that! She swung at me but missed, tumbled over the desk, and her rear happened to collide with my head, and yes my head hurts very much, thank you for asking." Peacekeeper stated, annoyed.
"Oh lighten up, we haven't had a case this funny since...well ever! Aha..." He quieted, wiping away a tear, "Still, we need to know what to do with the princess. And princess or not, ingesting of cocaine, theft of police property, destruction of police property, and...ASS-aulting an officer..." Law giggled, "are all very serious crimes. Ordinarily she'd be placed under arrest and put in lock-up, but she's already taken care of that for us. Still, she has to be awake and read her rights for us to officially 'arrest' her, so..." Roger's head shifted towards Law.
"Oh buck that!" Law stated, backing up, "Why do I have to wake up the princess and tell her she's under arrest?!"
"Because Peacekeeper has already spent plenty of quality time with the princess, and I'm your superior, so chop-chop!"
Law groaned before picking up the cell key with her mouth, "Fine...but you too better be there to help me if things get hairy..."
"We'll be right here." Peacekeeper assured.
Law carefully, quietly, opened the cell door and trotted inside, passing the key back to her fellow officers. They'd be able to lock the cell faster than she could, if she was sprinting out of it.
Law had experience waking up some of the ponies in lock-up. Normally it was Berry, the town drunk, and Law would wake her up loudly but generally politely, only to be met with the groans of Berry's usual hangover. She'd pay her public intoxication fine, and leave, muttering "see you next week." Sometimes it was real criminals, an occasional thief or some stallions who'd gotten in a fight. She always make sure to wake them up with no restrain, screaming and dragging her nightstick across the bars making loud 'clanging' noises.
But this...this was Princess Twilight! The beloved town librarian, never broken a law before in her life, never smoked, very rarely drank and always in modest portions...what had gone so wrong for her to end up here, cigarette dangling from her lips and cocaine powdering her nose? Regardless the circumstance though, the law was the law, and she had to be read her rights and cuffed. Proper protocol stated that a magic inhibitor ring was to be placed around the horn, but the one at the station was cheap, and she doubted it would have much of an effect on Twilight past her blowing it up and leaving them with nothing at all.
"Um...Princess Twilight?" She asked quietly, it's time to wake up now..." Law gently prodded at her flank before she felt a slight shifting.
Twilight's blood-shot eyes burst wide open, and Law screamed.
Twilight's blood-shot eyes burst wide open, and Law screamed.
Love that part. Keep up the good work!
I love this story.
HA!
I laugh.
Wow, really short chapter, but the next is probably the last.
Must have more..... I wonder something... Will twilight ever give a buck again... Or will I have to say:
NOT A BUCK WAS GIVEN THIS DAY!!
static.fjcdn.com/pictures/Not_a8d02e_1994380.jpg
4174598
Not a chance
this should be playing wherever Twilight go's
Celestia help us all .-.
So now we have Twilight hungover, coming down off at least 3 highs, and just waking up?
... Well, it's been nice knowing you, Ponyville.
Clearly Celestia has to come down and give her some lessons in bucks-giving and bucks-regaining. I'm sure Celestia's had some experience with the phenomena in her ridiculously long life, after all.
huh
4174771
Tiny Tim was marvelous.
I am so glad this updates quickly!
I can only imagine what the next chapter will bring.
4174771 Tiny box tim!? He was my best friend!
Too much yes!
I guess this is the part when Law should run.
4175253
I can't
When I first saw Law's name I thought of Silvestre Stallone.
4174077 "Twilight will not outlive her friends" seems like a rather evassive response to the immortality question doesn't it. It certainly leaves things open for things like her friends living longer lives as well as her, as you said.
4175576
It won't be that bad. She'll probably make Law squeal her name "Patrick 'Rick James' Swazzey" . Then do some rather unmentionable things to a certain dragon we all know and love. Right before turning all of Equestria into an Anarchy State. Burn the nation to the ground, then greet Tia, Lulu, and Caddy ontop of a throne made of garbage cans, broken hobos, and chocolate covered squirells.
But all in all Law will be traumatized, but living ... persay. Or very, very happy if not mentally scared for life.
4174810 Your princess is in another castle.
4174741 So it's a certainty?
4176126 OH DEAR LUNA NO 0_0
Like a magic inhibitor would work on an alicorn... Maybe if they went peacefully it could be a pretty horn ornament. Besides, if she freaked out and overreacted, not being fully aware of reality, the magical overload from her trying to teleport would probably reduce the police station to rubble not to speak of the microscopic of a magic inhibitor left scattered across Ponyville.
I don't think there's anything in the books about arresting alicorns seeing as the only one who has been in Equestria for longer than twenty or thirty years is the supreme head of state, whose position is virtually unimpeachable excepting her voluntarily leaving, not to mention that depending on headcanon she may very well actually own the castle, canterlot, and perhaps most of Equestria. While they are not technically above the law, enforcement of laws is somewhat dependent on being able to overpower the criminal... Frankly, Celestia's word is law.
4176126
That was the best one liner comment I have ever seen in my life
twilight.ponychan.net/chan/arch/src/130810446819.jpg
4176126
The message SPike get's when he actually wanders to the Crystal Empire before realizing he's gone too far
RUN FOR THE HILLS!
4175950 I think she might just not give enough bucks to do most of that...
I would assume that Twilight will somehow drain all of Disord's bucks. It's not like he uses them, anyway.
4177682
A guy can dream.
I'm pretty Twilight's about to become Nightmare No-Bucks-Given. I look forward to it.
Nice reference to Otis Campbell from The Andy Griffith Show (not entirely sure if you meant to do that or not)
That seems a little extreme. Why don't they just need to read her her rights before anything she says becomes admissible in court, like in the US?