will she vanquish beneath the cruel hooves of the stallion who's behind it all?

Will she be vanquished. Little typo there.

~ARTL

4586233
Is that not a tense thing

4586248

Alas, no. "Vanquish" is a word that, in this context (I think, it seemed appropriate) simply does not make sense. "be vanquished" makes sense.

4603522
I'm glad! I just hope that I can continue to do a decent job in writing these chapters.

4586254
Thanks! Feel free to tell me of any other mistakes if you see them.

4603648 You were right about the chapter. It was disturbing. (Especially nice as you hinted what was done rather than explain it in gruesome details. Let's the reader's imaginations do the work. Kudos, l reply shuddering.) Although one thing I'm curious about, and there's no need for an answer because I'll assume it gets covered later, but why do those particular ponies and their boss care about the bat-ponies?

If it wasn't for the typos, I'd be thoroughly enjoying this story. As is, it's a but of a trudge getting through each chapter. You ever thought of finding an editor for this? Anyway, on to the chapter talk!

The following chapter contains scenes that may disturb... Enjoy.

The following chapter contains bad things being done to colorful cartoon horses. Any irony is entirely coincidental. (I dunno, that line made me laugh.)
The torture scene(s)... Felt a little weak to me honestly. Maybe its just been so long I can't feel for Tyl... Can't even really remember him mentioned before now but it has been a few months.
The rest of the chapter... Wasn't bad. Nothing of tremendous note really. It was certainly a read. That is all.