This story takes place in the Fallout Equestria world and centers around a young mare named Mineko as she travels through the waste trying to help ponies and find her place in the Equestria wasteland.
Many thanks to Rambopvp for the new cover art, check out the rest of his stuff here: http://rambopvp.deviantart.com/
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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A very simple plot, well I'll read it soon. Then I'll tell you what I think.
Alright, here's my opinion:
It seemed very rushed all the way through, like not much time was put into developing the world and characters a bit more.
Not only that, but the prologue was very similar to FO:E. Of course, that was probably your intention, but usually in spinoffs people try to go for their own unique angle rather than simply remaking the original.
Final verdict: Re-write the prologue, and round up a couple of prereaders.
I'll read it soon, but don't be discouraged if you get dislikes at first. A lot of people hate Fo:E spinoffs. Just put some work into it and it might come through.
Okay here is my thought on this. I liked it, it did seem fast here and there, but overall it was enjoyable to read. It has a casual kind of tone to it, and that makes it not a hassle to read. Now, besides the small errors here and there I didn't really find anything to bad, you need to space this out though because it's slightly intimidating when you look at the huge wall of text. Next, you need to polish up some of the grammar and make it more clear. I did like how you used quotes and perks from the original story.
Over all I think this is worth following. I hope you finish this, cause I would like to see where this goes.
you really need to space this out.
but it was still good.
Btw if anyone wish to draw the characters in my story by all means I'm not good at drawing just send the pictures to me via private message at this sight, it will also help with my descriptive writing as well I just want to make sure what I imagine was properly described in my writing. I appreciate all the readers that have enjoyed the story and I will be continue it as I have time I am having some issues in my life at the moment that is slowing down my writing, thanks again and all your comments are welcomed.
Well Here you guys go sorry for it taking so long but chapter 3 is up and it is one of my longest chapters thus far. I hope everyone enjoys it as much as I did writing it.
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I look forward to reading it.
yay new chapter
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just that means enough to me to continue to write it. 
Well you obviously misread the story thus far it is not center in her relationships it is more about revenge and justice but hey I can't please them all but I do thank you for reading it,
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Just keep your eye out I do like to put twists into the stories, but I do hope you are still enjoying it
I'm sorry guys my life has been a little hectic so I'm way behind on my chapters hopefully I will have chapter 4 for you guys in about 2 weeks again I do apologize cause I left it on a cliffhanger.
I have been busy with school and finals so I'm going to mark myself on Hiatas until I finish up finals at the end of this week. I do almost have the next chapter done maybe two to three paragraphs left then it needs to be proofread. Still looking for editors if anypony is interested.
Ok guys sorry for such a long wait I finally was able to finish this chapter another long one and it is a doosy hope y'all enjoy it.
I still am working on this story so a may be another long pause before I get the next chapter written College wears me out. Well without further adue enjoy. 
good chapter and she fainted again
Yes Adrenaline is a wonderful thing till it is done.
Ok after the long wait Chapter 5 is out, Yay!
Unfortunately it is short but I felt the end was a perfect chapter break point so I kept it. I am about half way done with ch 6 and oh yes lots of action will be in this one and a mysterious stranger will show up, 
so stay tuned and chapter 6 will be posted soon. 
good chapter again like where this is going and kinda steamy in one part
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Yeap I'm looking forward to more comments and finishing chapter 6.
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Not to worry a stallion will be coming in soon lol
Ok guys chapter 6 is out
<Yay! Hope you enjoy and as always comments are welcome 
So please Comment and let me know of any errors I can't get better if I have no comments. 
Tigrean
Holy shit, what's with the down-votes on all of these stories!
Gonna up-vote this since I'm sure it's a good story, gonna read it later. Be sure to check out my story sometime, Fallout Equestria: Armed Redemption!
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Well if you look at the later chapters I started to add more character development I hope you have been following along. You are right about the Prologue that was my intention and I will not change that because it works, I wanted people to understand what was going on and that was what started my train of thought when creating this fiction. The first few chapters I designed to throw every reader into the the action just to draw the readers in I understand I probably went to long like that but on future works I hope I can do better. This is an organic story and it has already change direction quite few times as I wrote the chapters. Also I do apologize for the slow updates I usually can only update once per quarter due to college. I thank you for your constructive criticism and I hope you can continue to help me make this story better, I will not rewrite the chapters for fear that I might loose continuity but as I do more chapters it will get better at least that is the goal. BTW on a side note I have been following university days and I look forward to when you release the next chapter
I get the feeling that all this information bores you, but you feel you need to put it somewhere. All of this information could have been acted out, or shown from the protagonist's perspective, so we would know how she feels about it. Instead, you just give a quick summary of the most important events in the protagonist's life. FYI: I have superpowers and my girlfriend died, now on to the interesting stuff. You could write an entire story about the stuff that you just swept under the rug. For example:
8 months in the wasteland should be at least a dozen chapters of adventure and suspense.
You also have a lot of run-on sentences. This one:
should instead be written:
I recommend Ezn's writing guide. It's very detailed without being overly technical, and it's tailored specifically for this writing environment.
6273111 I agree but if I did that I would not get to the main part of the story until chapter 25, The goal was to start the story after what she called her first death. I feel that all the the information I gave there in the intro and prologue would be an entirely different story. Perhaps once I finish the story from her first death I may go back and do a prequel like they did in Star Wars, if people are interested. Not to worry though as you go through the story you will get a chance to glimpse a few important things that happened in the prologue as they chased Mars for those 8 months that matter for the current plot. Plus a pleasant surprise that you may not expect about Raven, can't tell you or it will spoil it in the later chapters. I do hope you are enjoying the story so far keep reading and I'm sure you will be entertained.
Also thanks for your Input I will not be revising any previous chapter for fear of loosing continuity but I will try to catch and fix any typos that might have been found. 
As always don't hesitate on giving me any constructive criticism I can't get better if I don't know where I made a mistake. 
This statement highlights something I've been noticing. Mineko's special talent is killing folks with those magic diamonds she's been carrying around. However, every time she gets into a fight, she pulls out her guns first. If she's better with the diamonds why does she even carry guns at all? The diamonds don't use ammunition and she can steer them in mid-air, plus they use her special talent.
Considering that this is a world built on MLP as a foundation, this is obviously false. Twilight usually teleports only a few feet, and it's so easy that she uses it as a conversation tool.
Yeah, how did that work out for you?
You have a lot of fresh vegetables in the story so far; the wasteland is supposed to be mostly barren.
Probably had a sign on it that said, "Secret Enemy Base"
Mineko seems to be pretty much a clone of Littlepip, with some Hired Gun thrown in:
She is undersized, embarrassed about being a perv even though everyone already knows, and uses Littlepip's distinctive style of swearing, going so far as to copy particular obscenities word-for-word.
-She is being haunted by the ghost of her dead girlfriend, who was killed by her nemesis (Hired Gun).
-She has an orphaned filly following her around and people think it's her daughter (Hired Gun).
-She was shot by a dashite pegasus sniper who mistook her for a raider, but then took her to the hospital (Littlepip).
-She is collecting the ministry mare statuettes and they talk to her (Littlepip). (Seems like they must have all been found already, by now)
-Ponies unquestioningly follow her plans, even though they have no reason to think she knows what she's doing (Littlepip).
Edit: And she's addicted to PTMs (Littlepip), can't forget that one.
6278359 Yes these first few chapters it will seem that way until she gets her blade casting ability back by the end of this chapter, chapter 4, then you will see some deviation. There still may be many similarities because I did use Littlepip as a role model for writing the story. The reason Mineko was using guns was because she lost her will to fight after Raven died. Blade Casting requires a reason to fight it is not second nature to the wielder, I covered that in the intro. Once she saw Butter Cup about to get raped that is what rekindled the fire per say of Mineko using her blade.
Also if you read closely Mineko was the first in her class to get her cutie Mark meanwhile Littlepip was the last. Also Mineko wasn't a small frame like Littlepip calls herself I just said she was shorter than most mares Raven was the last in her class to get her cutie mark not Mineko.
The ghost that haunts her as well as being able to talk to the element statues, there is more to it then just figment s of her broken mind but I don't want to tell anymore because it would spoil the story.
Also again this is first person meaning there is more to Mars than a hired gun but again I still can't reveal that because it would cause spoilers.
As for the vegetables they get those from trade with an area around Hoofington, If you read Fallout Equestria: Horizons you will see where they get it from, but because this is first person view Mineko would not know that. Also I didn't say they tasted fresh I just said they taste like carrots and what not, when you cook a stew many flavors get mixed in sometimes you can taste the different flavors which is what Mineko did. I kind of used that because she does have pretty good taste buds so she can pick the flavors out.
As for the teleportation all she could find by scavenging are the long distance ones, again first person Mineko doesn't know that the short distance teleports existed so she assumes because she can't find any records that there are none. As far as Mineko knows, since Twilight really is the only one that used short range teleportation so much that it seemed natural for her, which could be Twilight's special talent. Also if I remember correctly in Fallout Equestria Twilight really was only recording studies of long range teleportation because she exchanged that spell with Rarity. Really you can't extrapolate that everypony in Fallout equestria knew that short range teleportation could be learned, it is 200 years in the future from the canon story, much knowledge was lost.
Still I hope I cleared some things up I do hope you continue to read the story but I understand if you don't want to. Still I value your criticism and everything you are telling me here will definitely be implemented in the later chapters I will write. First I have figure out how to make something happen that would be realistic, that is where I am having my writer's block.
6278988 I see you thought quite a bit about all of this. That's good. I'm not trying to trip you up, these are things that I noticed as I was reading through.
You misunderstand, I was comparing Mineko to the character Hired Gun/Silver Storm from FoE Heroes
Having Mineko be very similar to Littlepip is not wrong per se, but it makes your job harder. Any time the reader notices one of these similarities, they will subconsciously compare the two.
If Twilight was studying it, that implies that all previous teleporting was short range, and the odds of finding any reference materials on long range would be astronomically small compared to short range.
6279497 Yes I agree with you about it maybe more likely to find the short range just that Mineko never did find any info on short range teleportation. Sometimes people find the harder stuff and never find the easy stuff, Mineko kind of lucky because she generally stumbles on the harder stuff before she finds the easier stuff. Again I hope this clears up some things, again I appreciate that you are reading my story and what you are pointing I will definitely have to clear up in the later chapters, because if you are pointing these some others may be seeing the same thing.
spell-assisted targeting system, S.A.T.S.
The eyes-forward sparkle only shows blips in front of you. Littlepip was complaining about that continuously.
Just Steel Ranger. Steelhooves was his name.
If I did the same in a downpour of rain I would be soaked, because my chemicals can’t protect me from that much water. That is why, before the war, the pegasi had special flight suits for times that we might have to fly through very inclement weather for long periods of time.
Worst-kept secret in the wasteland.
Isn't that exclusive zebra magic found only in the cursed black book? Also, doesn't it hurt? How could she cut off part of Mineko's soul without her even noticing?
I see a sudden and drastic improvement in the quality of your writing in this chapter. Grammar in particular was much better.
Again, just steel ranger
to
Capitalize 'well' and remove the paragraph break
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Thanks fixed. 
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Doh! I forgot about that. Fixed 
6282485 Fixed,
6282564 It is similar but not the same magic it will be answered later in the story, can't tell you now because it would be a spoiler. Also it isn't Mineko's soul, she is currently a rider from a memory orb. It was Raven who split her soul and put it into the two Pipbucks.
6282559 Ok that is fixed now too
Yep but I think only two besides Mineko knows unless there are more stories that I didn't read. The two that I know of that knows Homage's secret is Littlepip and Blackjack.
6282609 All Fixed thanks again.