All I have to say is 'muu'. That is all~
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When a human arrives in Ponyville, Applejack takes her in. She slowly begins to realize why she wants to protect this girl.
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Wow! I want to thank everyone who has given the time to read the story and all the wonderful comments! Thank you all so much! You don't know how much all your comments, likes, and favorites means to me!
Okay I should probably clarify, that even though I wrote girl, that she is an adult. And not adopted.
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Poetic. Though I do wonder where the girl went to the bathroom if she was on that hill all the time.
This was interesting and touching.
I would have liked a little more, but it also didn't really need more.
Well done
4994242
4994257 It's weird how i see you both on all the stories i like...
Very touching.
This was great. I hope there will be a sequel/continuation of this, explaining things a bit more.
L-O-V-E I-T
4994242 This man is asking the real questions.
As for the fic, I liked it a whole lot.
I cant see any mistake. But i just have to ask: Will there maybe more?
I mean, this whole Story could be a wonderful opening for a longer epic story.
Don't get me wrong, the story is totaly awesome. But I see there potential for a few more chapters.
is this going to be continued? i would love to see this continued!
If it wasn't two in the morning and I was just about to go to bed, I would read this. I guess that means I'll just FAVORITE it for now and read it next time I get the chance.
OMG This was so sad and I loved it!
I didn't even understand it, but that doesn't matter.
Please continue.
I understand that it's a Human in Equestria fic, and I do indeed want to know more about this girl's circumstances, how she came to be here, where she's coming from. But... at the same time, I don't want that. Providing any further information would ruin the mystique of this tale. It has to remain obscure like this for it to keep its full impact.
Well done.
I don't normally like or read human in equestria stories, but that was really well done.
4995693 I am going to agree with her on this. For the reason why I liked this one because it was different from the majority of other HiE fictions. The human is not in Equestria of her own volition (that I can tell,) she does not make instant friends with the mane six, she does not turn out to be the savior of Equestria and, thus far, not show the Mary-Sue properties many other HiE fictions have.
To that, I say very well done sir/ma'am. It does the soul good to see this sort of story. Keep up the great work.
You should consider making a sequel to this it's really good but has some unanswered questions but still an enjoyable read.
MUST READ MORE!!!!!
this was amazing
Great job.
This was so beautiful.
There really isn't enough stories like this on this site.
Would so love seeing an expanded version of this, but this was short and sweet and I loved it.
4994242
http://youtu.be/LSbx2u6U3rA?t=15s
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As of this time there isn't going to be one. Mainly due to having a bunch of other unfinished stories that I wish to finish/edit before starting a new one. I might come back and make a sequel but it's still in the air.~
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Thank you all so much!~
4996590 That's alright. The Story itself is, as I stated before, already awesome. But the reader within me wants to read more about how she is adapting to her new life on the farm and in pony society.
4996598 You're super duper welcome!
4996590 That's understandable I'm in the same boat with my fics hopefully you'll comeback to it someday.
This is beautiful.
I mean wow
I just read your story and I quite enjoyed it. The tone was sweet and sad, but still left me with a warm fuzziness at the end. It reminded me of MLD in a way, but yours seems more believable.
I also think this story deserves a continuation. Those 1,858 words weren't enough!
But the story still works great as a one shot and I'm happy to have witnessed it.
I like the story.
I noticed you didn't describe her very much, and given the whipping scars, my headcanon is saying "Escaped African slave pre-civil war".
I could be wrong of course.
While I felt the story had potential, it was far too short for its content. If the story is based off the emotional connections between Applejack and the human, we should know a hell of a lot about them at the end. I don't know anything about the human, and barely anything about Applejack.
In addition, the whole "abuse" thing wasn't very powerful. There was nothing to indicate that this could have been a possibility before it was revealed, so it seemed like it just came out of nowhere. Also, a whip, really? Who uses a whip anymore (unless it's for fun)? A fist, a boot, a stick, a bottle--these are all tools of abuse that would have given off less of an uncanny valley feeling.
While it has some problems, mostly from the fact that it tried to tell too much of a story in too few words, it wasn't bad enough to hate or to downvote or anything. I thought it was fair and had potential.
This could use some touching up, primarily with sentence structure and comma placement. Also, I'm going to advice heavily against using "ah" or "mah" instead of the actual words - accents aren't about spelling, only pronunciation and phrase usage. Only the latter should be visible in text.
I kinda like the idea, though I agree with most of the stuff 4997731 said; it didn't get the necessary exposition. I don't see a problem with the usage of a whip, though, besides the already established lack of back-story. I could see it working, either through timey wimey or other fancy stuff.
I do believe the story has potential - it just needs some love and care.
4997731
Yea i get what your saying. Originally it was suppose to be completely different halfway through and much darker. But due to losing interest when I first wrote this story I kinda forgot how I wanted to reach that ending. So I changed it but kept it short so it would stay open if I ever wanted to come back to this. Thanks for the critique though, I'll keep some of the stuff in mind the next time I write.
4997902
So I changed all the I's to Ah's and My's to Mah's. I'll keep what you said in mind for next time. Thanks!
Yeah at first I just wrote it normally, but then felt like since it was Applejack that maybe people expected her accent.
a needle of poison in my feels
i wish for a sequel please
I love that cover art
Sequel, please
Will there be a sequel to this? Maybe one where their bond/relationship continues?
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That was awesome. Reminds me somewhat of "A voice among the Strangers" but with a different touch.
I love it. Really wish there was more to this.
Liked and added to favorites.
Ill be checking out your other works.
4998475
Yes please.
Oh geez. I've always hated HiE. And then I saw this among the featured stories. And for some reason, I felt that I needed to read it. And it was GOOD!
Sir, you don't need to sequel this. It's well done, self-contained, and I'm just fine with not knowing what happens next.
I love it when HIE fics are actually original. This is pretty well-written, the story's surprisingly original too. Great job!
very nicely done
this does not need a sequel
I'd love to see a sequel. At least a short one(like, 5 chapters).
I enjoyed this story a lot more a lot more than I thought I would when I first clicked on it, well done.
THis is a really good story, extremely good in fact. Not giving too much away about the girls past besides perhaps being beaten. It really tugs on the heartstrings to. I'm conflicted if i should ask for a sequel, since this seems like such a simple little thing, and sometimes, simplicity is bliss. Though this should not discourage you in anyway if you do decide to write a sequel since ill read that anyway, for the most likely better , and the nonexistent chance of worse.
10/10
Jolly good.
just beautiful
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I'm crying ... sorry
9/10 I loved it