Your worst villains are not those born evil, but those who become evil.
Yeah I decided to write something for the Twyrants Kingdom competition So I put a five minute timer on my phone and started writing. I then hit snooze until I had typed for about 35 minutes and then edited for about 10
Also leave a comment for downvotes, I know the story isn't great (I mean you get out what you put in after all), but I still want to know what you did not like so I can avoid it in my more serious stories
Chapters (1)
please write more?
While this is short and sweet, and I realize you explained how you wrote it, it still reads more like freewriting than something that was edited. I think if you went back over it and cleaned it up, probably lengthening it, it could be a much more impacting read. As it is, it has a lot of simple to fix technical errors and a very ham-fisted ending. I do think it could be a lot better if you took a bit more time with it, though, so I bet your next offering is going to be great
This may be stupid to ask but..
I'm confused, what does this mean.
is it a book, is it after the fic.
4512730 Yeah it pretty much was free writing. I just cleaned up the spelling and changed some words when I edited
The next time I have time I will probably fix it up a bit
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That's in the fic. I kind of meant that to be a sarcastic remark by one of her future subjects that wrote what happened to her in the story.
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So she is now a tyrant.
only one thing to do.
Viva la revolution
fimfiction-static.net/images/story_images/4189.jpg
The lack of a question mark at the end of the sentence for the short description is driving me crazy. Fix that please.
Another competitor! Yay!
Let's see what you have to offer...
Good story.
All hail!
There are a good amount of grammatical errors and I find it odd how Twilight was able to kill Tirek like that. I don't mean morals, I mean the fact that he was easily her equal, if not slightly her superior, in power
It feels like it needs to be continued...
It feels like it needs to be continued...
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Twilight was building up power for several minutes with adrenaline fueling her abilities even more. I also probably have Twilight a lot more powerful in my head canon then you do (I have the restrained power head canon and sometimes the OP Twilight is best Twilight mentality).
I guess the fact that I didn't proof read the story does not help matter any
4527020 Maybe so, but still. I don't think Twilight is holding back anything here
derpicdn.net/img/view/2014/5/10/622788__safe_twilight+sparkle_animated_screencap_princess+twilight_magic_hub+logo_flying_angry_fight.gif
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Bleh I forgot to add the alternate universe tag
I guess I need to remember that next time
Anyways me not putting that tag there did imply that the fight went the same as it did in the show
On a side note though Twilight was using kinetic force in the gif which could have lost a lot of energy from the radius affected. In the story she incinerated him with energy that built up over several minutes instead of a few seconds
I guess it is like this is the first attack
http://youtu.be/pqiKsBL8GUE?t=6s
and this is the second
http://youtu.be/pqiKsBL8GUE?t=14m2s
(Embedding the youtube videos is making it lose the times for some reason)
4527219 A few minutes? How did Tirek let her stand there and charge up?
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The light show was not nearly as big as it is in DBZ. I envisioned it as a glowing horn and some shaking and bolts of lavender energy traveling across her fur as she watched him kill her friends.
I guess the fact that she was unable to cast a spell to save her friend lulled him into a false sense of security.
There was just a lightning strike in the next block over. My ears still are still ringing FTW
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Also I think there is tv trope for when a villain watches a hero charge up no matter how long it takes
4527254 mlponies.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/SafariScreenSnapz0021.jpg
I don't think that counts as a minor light show
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yeah yeah. I can't BS my way out of that I guess. I need to turn desktop notifications back on
Thank for making me smile.
I like dark stories, they make me happy.
The fact that she removed Tirek from existence makes this story great. The fact that she will no longer show pity makes it even better. The fact that she will show the world what a god truly looks like and Equestria paying in blood makes it excellent. A brutal, vengeful Twilight is the best Twilight.
Why did this story win the Badass Twilight contest?
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Odd place to ask, but anyways it won the exiled contest because it had the highest score from the judges
Okay really why would you ask that on one of my stories instead of my userpage or as a pm? OR on the actual competition
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Never mind...I just now noticed that link there...my bad. I thought he was talking about this story. Which is still too short, and needs expanding.